Eid gift dilemma in the office

[princeuk]

I work in a place where there are not many asian people, of about 80 staff we have about 9 asian staff so we all get to know each other over the last few years and seemingly get on well with each other.

One of the asian female members of staff whom i get along with gave me some really nice sweets for when ramadhan started which was lovely. As the easter holidays are coming up we are all going to be off and today is effectively the last day before we all split up over the holiday period and wont see each other till after EID.

Now i share a room with another asian male colleague who is a good friend of mine and he is quite new so he doesnt know the staff as well as i do particularly the asian female colleague i mentioned earlier.

Now earlier today she sent someone else along to give my colleague next to me sweets for EID and also an EID mubarak card but i never got anything at all, i thought this is a it weird considering i got on well with her and she doesnt even know my colleague, i asked him how come you got something he shrugged his shoulders and said i dont know, he was a it surprised as well as he has never spoken to her other than hi and bye.

Now i am not the jealous type she can give sweets to whomever she wants but to give sweets to someone who she never speaks to and to not to give any to me almost feels she is making a statement by giving him sweets considering she doesnt even know him and she knows we share a room, so its like her saying "i can give it to him, not you".

What do you guys think? How do i handle this.

 

[Suleiman]

Maybe she meant to give it to you but because she sent someone else to give the gifts away, they mixed you up with the other guy and gave it to him instead.

Maybe the “middle man” didn’t know it was a gift for Eid / Ramadan and thought it as a welcome gift instead so thought it was for the other guy and not you.

Just say hi / hello to her and talk a bit about whatever and you’ll know from social cues if you are on good terms.

Don’t confront about this directly, it’s not even worth it. Unless you can joke about it and do it from a banter mindset. I know you Brits love banter.

 

[princeuk]

Maybe she meant to give it to you but because she sent someone else to give the gifts away, they mixed you up with the other guy and gave it to him instead.

Maybe the “middle man” didn’t know it was a gift for Eid / Ramadan and thought it as a welcome gift instead so thought it was for the other guy and not you.

Just say hi / hello to her and talk a bit about whatever and you’ll know from social cues if you are on good terms.

Don’t confront about this directly, it’s not even worth it. Unless you can joke about it and do it from a banter mindset. I know you Brits love banter.

There was a card with the gift too and the card had HIS name on it, there was no mixup i assure you

 

[Bewal Express]

We had a Chinese lady as a neighbour and my mum used to insist on giving Samosas etc. In return she brought my mum pork Scratchings.

 

[Kroll]

This reminds me of rotigate a few years back @topspin

 

[KingKhanWC]

She clearly likes the new chap more

Your work colleagues are not real friends , they work to earn money . You may work with someone for 10 years but when they leave , you may never see them again.

Save your money , stay away from office dramas , do as little work & clock off home .

 

[topspin]

This reminds me of rotigate a few years back @topspin

Is this about the mother who would cook roti for her son but not for his wife? One of the legendary threads on Timepass.

 

[DeadlyVenom]

I work in a place where there are not many asian people, of about 80 staff we have about 9 asian staff so we all get to know each other over the last few years and seemingly get on well with each other.

One of the asian female members of staff whom i get along with gave me some really nice sweets for when ramadhan started which was lovely. As the easter holidays are coming up we are all going to be off and today is effectively the last day before we all split up over the holiday period and wont see each other till after EID.

Now i share a room with another asian male colleague who is a good friend of mine and he is quite new so he doesnt know the staff as well as i do particularly the asian female colleague i mentioned earlier.

Now earlier today she sent someone else along to give my colleague next to me sweets for EID and also an EID mubarak card but i never got anything at all, i thought this is a it weird considering i got on well with her and she doesnt even know my colleague, i asked him how come you got something he shrugged his shoulders and said i dont know, he was a it surprised as well as he has never spoken to her other than hi and bye.

Now i am not the jealous type she can give sweets to whomever she wants but to give sweets to someone who she never speaks to and to not to give any to me almost feels she is making a statement by giving him sweets considering she doesnt even know him and she knows we share a room, so its like her saying "i can give it to him, not you".

What do you guys think? How do i handle this.

You learn in your mid 20s and 30s that with women it's best to be upfront and ask directly.

This dancing around gets you nowhere and just consumed energy.

How do you handle it ? Get the cajones to ask her what's up, if you can't then move on and don't think about it.

Trust me it sounds harsh but it's the only way to settle yourself and stop your mind racing away.

 

[PakLFC]

Perhaps she is trying to tell you something like she likes you. Ladies like to play mind games to get a reaction from men.

 

[Geordie Ahmed]

I'm going to be blunt here, I think you need to grow up

Don't get too close to people at work unless you can be an adult about it and not get jealous over irrelevant things

 

[Itachi]

We need the details.

Perhaps you didn't show enough excitement that she expected for or may be you told her something which she may not have like or may be she expected a return gift which you failed to give?

Unless we know some particular details, there's only throwing stones in the dark. Give us something to work with and we together can decrypt this mystery.

 

[Kroll]

Is this about the mother who would cook roti for her son but not for his wife? One of the legendary threads on Timepass.

Aye, that's the one, couldn't remember the exact details but you've nailed it.

 

[Itachi]

This reminds me of rotigate a few years back @topspin

Unrelated but do you remember the thread where one poster announced that his cousin will join PP and he was giving minute by minute happenings? Even an imposter also showed up?

 

[Itachi]

Is this about the mother who would cook roti for her son but not for his wife? One of the legendary threads on Timepass.

So you're the THE gossiping aunty of PP who remembers the exact details of each story.

 

[topspin]

So you're the THE gossiping aunty of PP who remembers the exact details of each story.

I think you remember more than I do, going by what you've said in the above post of yours.

 

[Itachi]

Any updates to the story?

 

[Shadow_muaythai]

I think OP needs to think about the more important things in life... Forget about it, move on and dont give this person any time of day at work... like someone else said, do your work, clock out, go home and live your life.

 

[Itachi]

I think OP needs to think about the more important things in life... Forget about it, move on and dont give this person any time of day at work... like someone else said, do your work, clock out, go home and live your life.

OP is just hiding the fact that he has feelings for this girl. She isn't any random co-wroker.

She is THE ONE.

 

[topspin]

I work in a place where there are not many asian people, of about 80 staff we have about 9 asian staff so we all get to know each other over the last few years and seemingly get on well with each other.

One of the asian female members of staff whom i get along with gave me some really nice sweets for when ramadhan started which was lovely. As the easter holidays are coming up we are all going to be off and today is effectively the last day before we all split up over the holiday period and wont see each other till after EID.

Now i share a room with another asian male colleague who is a good friend of mine and he is quite new so he doesnt know the staff as well as i do particularly the asian female colleague i mentioned earlier.

Now earlier today she sent someone else along to give my colleague next to me sweets for EID and also an EID mubarak card but i never got anything at all, i thought this is a it weird considering i got on well with her and she doesnt even know my colleague, i asked him how come you got something he shrugged his shoulders and said i dont know, he was a it surprised as well as he has never spoken to her other than hi and bye.

Now i am not the jealous type she can give sweets to whomever she wants but to give sweets to someone who she never speaks to and to not to give any to me almost feels she is making a statement by giving him sweets considering she doesnt even know him and she knows we share a room, so its like her saying "i can give it to him, not you".

What do you guys think? How do i handle this.

What's the latest?

 

[Major]

Unrelated but do you remember the thread where one poster announced that his cousin will join PP and he was giving minute by minute happenings? Even an imposter also showed up?

oh man the good old days . Even Savak has made a few such threads

 

[Major]

This reminds me of an episode of The Office (US) season 2 where Michael and his boss Jan make out and than the next day Jan is not eager to follow it up and regrets having that kiss. Meanwhile Michael spends the whole day analyzing and deducing what the message left by Jan on voice message really means and invites Pam over to discuss it because he thinks only a women can deduce a women.

 

[Suleiman]

This reminds me of an episode of The Office (US) season 2 where Michael and his boss Jan make out and than the next day Jan is not eager to follow it up and regrets having that kiss. Meanwhile Michael spends the whole day analyzing and deducing what the message left by Jan on voice message really means and invites Pam over to discuss it because he thinks only a women can deduce a women.

Ngl… my mind went to the same place but I didn’t want to say it

 

[topspin]

oh man the good old days . Even Savak has made a few such threads

Those were the best and also during one Ramadhan we had a fan boy of one political party bragging about his £300 donation. I miss those days man.

 

[Major]

Those were the best and also during one Ramadhan we had a fan boy of one political party bragging about his £300 donation. I miss those days man.

oh man i remember that night, i think it was a ramazan night.

They had to console that poster afterwards

 

[psyoptica]

.

 

[psyoptica]

She clearly likes the new chap more

Your work colleagues are not real friends , they work to earn money . You may work with someone for 10 years but when they leave , you may never see them again.

Save your money , stay away from office dramas , do as little work & clock off home .

I see people say this a lot and I don’t disagree with this. My experience has been widely different though. I have maintained friendships with my co-workers from my previous jobs even to this day. Not to say there isn’t office drama happening at the workplace. You just need to learn to identify toxic people and steer clear of them. Nothing wrong with making friends or even forming romantic relationships at workplace. But yeah the latter is not recommended as most people get too wrapped up into it and it effects their work.

 

[daytrader]

Did she give everyone else Eid sweets? Maybe she just wanted to welcome the newbie and in her mind she had already given you a Ramadan gift

 

[psyoptica]

If I were you OP, I would make light of the situation and tease her about not giving me sweets. It is really not that big of a deal honestly. You care too much.

 

[Itachi]

oh man i remember that night, i think it was a ramazan night.

They had to console that poster afterwards

I don't remember this one. Give me a gist if you can please.

 

[emranabbas]

Bro she doesn't have hots for you she gave you sweets at the beginning of ramadhan and thought let's be nice to other gentleman too and gave him sweets too after ramadhan end of story.

 

[hassan918]

She gave you sweets in Ramadan and now she is giving someone else the sweets on EID. She maybe wanted to give sweets to both of you once and I don't think you need to worry about this situation. Just enjoy your Eid.

 

[topspin]

oh man i remember that night, i think it was a ramazan night.

They had to console that poster afterwards

Oh yes quite a few did to console him

 

[Itachi]

Bro she doesn't have hots for you she gave you sweets at the beginning of ramadhan and thought let's be nice to other gentleman too and gave him sweets too after ramadhan end of story.

Don't listen to these old people.... OP.

It's may not be a gesture but could be a subtle hint that you aren't paying enough attention. Just think about it, what if in DDLJ, sharukh didn't go for his girl? I am sure you have seen enough bollywood movies to understand that this formula works most of the time.

These old people will just poop on your fantasy. Don't listen to them. Follow your heart.

 

[offstump]

This reminds me of rotigate a few years back @topspin

I believe it was actually chapati-gate