Organising a Wedding

[Saj]

I've been given the task of organising a relative's wedding !

This has to be one of the most stressful experiences ever.

Your experiences of organising such an event? What to look out for? What to avoid?

 

[MenInG]

I've been given the task of organising a relative's wedding !

This has to be one of the most stressful experiences ever.

Your experiences of organising such an event? What to look out for? What to avoid?

Hire a mind-reader especially when asking guests for their availability! Our folks seem to think they can say no and then show up on the wedding day as if its a walk in the park!

 

[msb314]

If it’s a desi wedding - make a budget for every event and stick to it. Only exceed the budget as a last resort.

Also - send dates for every event to relatives as soon as possible

 

[msb314]

Hire a mind-reader especially when asking guests for their availability! Our folks seem to think they can say no and then show up on the wedding day as if its a walk in the park!

I’ve had the opposite experience. Most say yes initially but then back out at the last minute

 

[Stewie]

Hire a wedding organizer

 

[daytrader]

Try to get more tables than people invited as desi's will move around freely in the hall and will end up sitting in their own cliques rather than the arranged seating. Stats show that 20% people don't show up to events but it's better to be prepared for it rather than having people stand if everyone shows. Also when dealing with banquet hall owners, ask them not to count kids in the # of people. Most halls tend to charge per person, but kids will be running around and will not be eating everything on the menu so they don't really count as a full person.

 

[MenInG]

Try to get more tables than people invited as desi's will move around freely in the hall and will end up sitting in their own cliques rather than the arranged seating. Stats show that 20% people don't show up to events but it's better to be prepared for it rather than having people stand if everyone shows. Also when dealing with banquet hall owners, ask them not to count kids in the # of people. Most halls tend to charge per person, but kids will be running around and will not be eating everything on the menu so they don't really count as a full person.

Problem is our people don't understand the concept of RSVP!

 

[Major]

What problems are faced in weddings in overseas? Do you have to pay per person in advance? And is it per person interms of meal or hall?

In pakistan the hall managers count the person and you pay that in the end. The meal is cooked in bulk. Its like ordering 20 kilo biryani.

Extras meal gets to be taken home by the person who does the arrangements.

 

[James]

Basically — an unimaginable nightmare that is best avoided.

My wife, her parents, and my Mum sorted ours out.

I just turned up.

 

[Saj]

So today we've had an aunty who initially said she wasn't coming, saying she will come with 4 children and 3 grandchildren.

Incredible!

 

[Colorblind Genius]

I've been given the task of organising a relative's wedding !

This has to be one of the most stressful experiences ever.

Your experiences of organising such an event? What to look out for? What to avoid?

Open your wallet and hire a professional and experienced desi wedding planner as your “assistant”, and load her/him up with all the tasks, and act as if you are in charge to get it all done.

Also, do some fake acting of being under a lot of stress.

The risk is, you will be famous as a great wedding planner n every Desi Tom Dick and Harry will start reaching out to you for “mufta” service as if you owe them a favor.

Otherwise, do this wedding planning all by yourself and mostly likely you will do a horrible job - but then, you will be off the hook for life. No one will EVER ask you to do it again.

A nice catch 22 situation.

 

[daytrader]

So today we've had an aunty who initially said she wasn't coming, saying she will come with 4 children and 3 grandchildren.

Incredible!

Make sure to get more tables. Key is more tables than the number of people invited and good food i.e. extra trays for popular items such as biryani and butter chicken for kids. Also please do get a photo booth, will make the event more memorable

 

[silentkiller187]

Always account for extras, especially kids, even if you write Mr Xyz +1 the whole family will show up, its a free meal after all.

Order more food than required, you can always take it home with you after and distribute if need be.

Any deadlines i.e. clothes tailor etc give yourself a buffer, if you need your clothes for a set date tell the tailor you need it a week earlier

Regardless of what you do there will always be someone who complains about food, hall,deco, mix/segregated , dj , i would advise keeping numbers as small as possible immediette family and friends only , no "aunts " that youve never even seen before.

 

[sweep_shot]

Always account for extras, especially kids, even if you write Mr Xyz +1 the whole family will show up, its a free meal after all.

Order more food than required, you can always take it home with you after and distribute if need be.

Any deadlines i.e. clothes tailor etc give yourself a buffer, if you need your clothes for a set date tell the tailor you need it a week earlier

Regardless of what you do there will always be someone who complains about food, hall,deco, mix/segregated , dj , i would advise keeping numbers as small as possible immediette family and friends only , no "aunts " that youve never even seen before.

I agree with this post.

Organizing a desi wedding can be a massive pain. The more the people, the more the chance of problems/dramas.

I think keeping it small is a good strategy.

 

[MenInG]

I agree with this post.

Organizing a desi wedding can be a massive pain. The more the people, the more the chance of problems/dramas.

I think keeping it small is a good strategy.

Imagine putting up a seating plan and extra people show up!

 

[topspin]

[MENTION=2501]Savak[/MENTION] This is your speciality, please assist.

 

[sweep_shot]

Imagine putting up a seating plan and extra people show up!

Yup. That's very frustrating when it happens.

 

[Saj]

I agree with this post.

Organizing a desi wedding can be a massive pain. The more the people, the more the chance of problems/dramas.

I think keeping it small is a good strategy.

It's 300 people which is mid range really.

So today's problem - a Dr and his wife who all have been saying they will attend now say they cannot make it due to the distance. I mean they knew all along about the travel distance, it's not like the venue has suddenly been changed.

 

[sweep_shot]

It's 300 people which is mid range really.

So today's problem - a Dr and his wife who all have been saying they will attend now say they cannot make it due to the distance. I mean they knew all along about the travel distance, it's not like the venue has suddenly been changed.

LOL. Wow!

Very irresponsible.

 

[Saj]

And now we have the uncle who has been invited by card, by whatsapp and by text going around saying he's not been invited

 

[DeadlyVenom]

Book a caterer/wedding planner early. They will be able to negotiate fees with hotels etc and get you a discount. Its better than doing it yourself.

Plus they have an eye for detail and can take some of the difficulties away from you on the day.

As far as family situations go - make sure you mark the cards so that its quite obvious i.e rather than Mr and Mrs Khan and family - write Mr and Mrs Khan only or Mr and Mrs Khan +1.

Bear in mind that sadly you won't be able to make everyone happy and inevitably someone will be unjustifiably annoyed. You just need to grin and bear it.

 

[Deewana Mastana]

Get Sulaiman of Spice Village on board he'll sort everything out.

 

[MenInG]

This invitation delivery part seems to be the toughest thing in a wedding - the wedding day by comparison passes off much easily lol

 

[Itachi]

This is why I love Desi marriages in India especially in villages. As I see it, just one or two extra people in the wedding causes huge chaos in expats but back in home, it's not an issue. You always have to count the extras because there will be extras.

Expat marriages seems very restrictive and straitjacketed to be honest. I have seen the same in many NRI wedding too.

 

[Justcrazy]

Avoid it , in the end even if you manage well , you will face criticism.

 

[Itachi]

Avoid it , in the end even if you manage well , you will face criticism.

I second it. There WILL be criticism regardless how well it was managed. And since people put heart and soul in organising including the stress, the rubbish criticism just drains the energy out. It's better to hire a wedding planner and if something goes wrong, blame him in front of the relatives later on.

 

[MenInG]

After all this, do the hosts including the bridegroom and bride - apart from the guests - actually enjoy the wedding? So much stress!

 

[Colorblind Genius]

This is why I love Desi marriages in India especially in villages. As I see it, just one or two extra people in the wedding causes huge chaos in expats but back in home, it's not an issue. You always have to count the extras because there will be extras.

Expat marriages seems very restrictive and straitjacketed to be honest. I have seen the same in many NRI wedding too.

yes because there are fire and building codes on maximum capacity, parking space and hotel/hall management to deal with if there is a significant number of extra people.

Our "dheela pan" is the reason why our third world countries look like a giant unorganized pile of trash in chaos.

 

[James]

After all this, do the hosts including the bridegroom and bride - apart from the guests - actually enjoy the wedding? So much stress!

The wedding and the vows etc I found were over quite quickly for us.

I enjoyed the reception.

 

[MenInG]

The cost of holding wedding parties in Saudi Arabia is among the lowest in the world, despite an exorbitant increase in the cost within a year.

The cheapest cost of hosting a wedding in the world is in Lahore with an estimated cost of about SR13,200 ($3,500), while the average cost of wedding ceremonies in the Kingdom in May 2022 amounted to SR12,500 ($2,290), according to the latest data of the General Authority for Statistics (GASTAT).

The GASTAT report showed that the average cost of wedding events in the Kingdom rose during a year from SR9,464 to SR12,500, with a total annual increase of 32 percent and a monthly increase of five percent, after it rose from SR11,933 in April this year.

https://www.gulf-insider.com/saudi-wedding-cost-among-lowest-in-world-despite-increase-of-32/

 

[Colorblind Genius]

The cost of holding wedding parties in Saudi Arabia is among the lowest in the world, despite an exorbitant increase in the cost within a year.

The cheapest cost of hosting a wedding in the world is in Lahore with an estimated cost of about SR13,200 ($3,500), while the average cost of wedding ceremonies in the Kingdom in May 2022 amounted to SR12,500 ($2,290), according to the latest data of the General Authority for Statistics (GASTAT).

The GASTAT report showed that the average cost of wedding events in the Kingdom rose during a year from SR9,464 to SR12,500, with a total annual increase of 32 percent and a monthly increase of five percent, after it rose from SR11,933 in April this year.

https://www.gulf-insider.com/saudi-wedding-cost-among-lowest-in-world-despite-increase-of-32/

This last weekend, we threw a small brunch party in a pvt rented hall to host about 200 people (adults n kids combined). We hired a party planner to take care of it all.
The cost was around $10,000

I should tell my wife that I could’ve gotten married 3 times in Saudi, instead.

 

[Saj]

After all this, do the hosts including the bridegroom and bride - apart from the guests - actually enjoy the wedding? So much stress!

The day just flew. Before I knew it, it was over.

All that planning, all those discussions and it goes in the blink of an eye.

People say enjoy the day, but it's difficult to do that as there are so many things that you need to keep an eye on.

Thankfully all went well, no hiccups, no issues and everyone left having enjoyed themselves.

 

[shaz619]

I've been given the task of organising a relative's wedding !

This has to be one of the most stressful experiences ever.

Your experiences of organising such an event? What to look out for? What to avoid?

Imagine you had to do it during Covid…

 

[James]

The day just flew. Before I knew it, it was over.

All that planning, all those discussions and it goes in the blink of an eye.

People say enjoy the day, but it's difficult to do that as there are so many things that you need to keep an eye on.

Thankfully all went well, no hiccups, no issues and everyone left having enjoyed themselves.

Agree, it absolutely sails by to be fair.