Share your arranged marriage experience

[Thivagar]

How did it come about ? What was your first impression of her/him ? Lets begin.

 

[saadsahabjee]

it started like cindrella and ended like smackdown/raw.

 

[pakistani pride]

You know how it goes. Study almost finished. Mother starts emotional blackmail etc. Before you know your married.

Already got a 2 year als baby girl. We both love cricket that helps.

 

[Yossarian]

How did it come about ? What was your first impression of her/him ? Lets begin.

You experiencing some emotional blackmail at home?

 

[Hawkeye]

You know how it goes. Study almost finished. Mother starts emotional blackmail etc. Before you know your married.

Already got a 2 year als baby girl. We both love cricket that helps.

That's adorable.

And you got married at the end of your studies? That's pretty cool and quite 'early' relatively. Unless you're a girl.

 

[reversehook]

it started like cindrella and ended like smackdown/raw.

what do you mean ended? lolz

on a serious note, we discussed which moves were No No and which ones were permissible, i mean there has to be some iota of sanity

 

[reversehook]

arranged marriage or love marriage, its all the same in the end, you are married. Give respect to your partner, and ultimately respect will come back (in some cases it takes time), patience is key, and mother of all learn to let go and forgive the little things, you will be fine

 

[Slog]

I always wonder whether you cam have 'fun' the same way in an arranged marriage as you would with someone you know and went out with befor getting hitched

 

[CricketCartoons]

The success of arranged marriages, and the rate of love marriages ending in divorce, proves, beyond doubt, that love is over rated. Marriage is all about adjustment. and love happens when you get used to each other.

 

[Nostalgic]

Already got a 2 year als baby girl. We both love cricket that helps.

The two-year old loves cricket already?

 

[Nostalgic]

and love happens when you get used to each other.

But they say familiarity breeds contempt?

 

[Belawal2014]

The two-year old loves cricket already?

) You're my fav on this forum man.

 

[Nostalgic]

That's adorable.

And you got married at the end of your studies? That's pretty cool and quite 'early' relatively. Unless you're a girl.

The username is pakistani pride, not pakistani bride.

Incidentally, that's the name of a Bapsi Sidhwa book.

 

[Nostalgic]

) You're my fav on this forum man.

Thanks. So... what's with the Indian flag? Have you deserted the ship?

 

[Belawal2014]

Thanks. So... what's with the Indian flag? Have you deserted the ship?

Haven't deserted the ship, just rooting for India this Word T20, now that Pakistan have shamelessly crashed out

 

[street cricketer]

Thivagar ku kalyanam aasai vanthuduchu [MENTION=134809]sensible-indian-fan[/MENTION]

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

Thivagar ku kalyanam aasai vanthuduchu [MENTION=134809]sensible-indian-fan[/MENTION]

Oho.......

[MENTION=137677]Thivagar[/MENTION] is gonna eventually marry his village girl but he is not going down without a fight.

Thivagar vs his Mom - Chapter 1

 

[Hamza_]

Oho.......

[MENTION=137677]Thivagar[/MENTION] is gonna eventually marry his village girl but he is not going down without a fight.

Thivagar vs his Mom - Chapter 1

Omg

 

[in_cutter]

Too much to share

 

[Thivagar]

Oho.......

[MENTION=137677]Thivagar[/MENTION] is gonna eventually marry his village girl but he is not going down without a fight.

Thivagar vs his Mom - Chapter 1

Athulam onnum illa. Even if I ask, she won't get me arranged marriage. Ekanave 3 year degree ya 4.5 yearsa vachu otikittu irukaen, idhuku kalyanam veraya ?.

To summarize like Idhuku Thaana Aasapatyai Balakumaru
Chinna vayasu friendu, cinema director chanceu, producer requestu, me helping-u by sutting all the stories from peopleu.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

Arranged or Love, once marriage happens, it opens a your eyes to reality.

Marriage is nothing like they show in movies. It involves a lot of hard work to stay together with a lot of compromises being made and not to forget dealing with emotions of women.

Everything before marriage looks like a dream. Unmarried people think that it is something special. Once marriage happens, it opens your eyes to reality.

 

[Slog]

Too much to share

Any stories?

 

[Thivagar]

Thivagar ku kalyanam aasai vanthuduchu [MENTION=134809]sensible-indian-fan[/MENTION]

Post #21

 

[Hamza_]

Arranged or Love, once marriage happens, it opens a your eyes to reality.

Marriage is nothing like they show in movies. It involves a lot of hard work to stay together with a lot of compromises being made and not to forget dealing with emotions of women.

Everything before marriage looks like a dream. Unmarried people think that it is something special. Once marriage happens, it opens your eyes to reality.

I have seen few happily married people as well.

 

[jusarrived]

Arranged or Love, once marriage happens, it opens a your eyes to reality.

Marriage is nothing like they show in movies. It involves a lot of hard work to stay together with a lot of compromises being made and not to forget dealing with emotions of women.

Everything before marriage looks like a dream. Unmarried people think that it is something special. Once marriage happens, it opens your eyes to reality.

Hardwork yes , but compromises no ..no much changed for me after I married , even though its only been 2 years it has been one of the best years of my life . Credit probabaly goes more to my wife than me though

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

Arranged or Love, once marriage happens, it opens a your eyes to reality.

Marriage is nothing like they show in movies. It involves a lot of hard work to stay together with a lot of compromises being made and not to forget dealing with emotions of women.

Everything before marriage looks like a dream. Unmarried people think that it is something special. Once marriage happens, it opens your eyes to reality.

Exactly.

That's why you should learn how to keep your wife under control.

Show who is the boss.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

I have seen few happily married people as well.

After a lot of compromises.

I go to lot of family functions and everyone looks extremely happy. My wife comes back and tells me how much her friends are made to work by husbands, pressure from in-laws, finances etc.

Lot of couples stick together as they know that the options available aren't any better and the social stigma to divorce. Even in USA, a lot of Indian couples are like that.

Grass is always greener on the other side. Its an illusion. Until we live with our parents, we would not know what responsibilities are. We got food on time, washed/ironed clothes, cleaned dishes... everything happens magically by the time we wake up. Once we have to do all those stuff by ourselves along with supporting women emotionally and added work pressure, it is not easy.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

Seriously though, yeah.

It is a challenge.

Choosing the right person plays a very important role.

As long as the male or female is not a total psycho, a marriage can be made to work even with all problems.

 

[jusarrived]

I have seen few happily married people as well.

I know quite a few , infact I was one of those people who thought will never get married & few other people who where in a similar phase , but i dont think anyone is regretting it . Some people just do not know how to be happy , marriage is just an excuse and some times convenient to blame your spouse for it I guess .

 

[Lurker_Ind]

Exactly.

That's why you should learn how to keep your wife under control.

Show who is the boss.

If you want to show who is the boss, better marry an illiterate village women with not much awareness and who is conditioned to believe that husband is God.

Modern educated women are not going to take attitude from husbands.

My wife and I have great understanding. But we do run into arguments every now and then and it always ends up me apologizing.

We can never win an argument with women. They cry and cry if they are on losing side. We end up pacifying them anyways by wasting another 2 hours. Got to have tons of patience.

Been there, done that.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

Seriously though, yeah.

It is a challenge.

Choosing the right person plays a very important role.

As long as the male or female is not a total psycho, a marriage can be made to work even with all problems.

This.

In arranged marriages, you never know if the other person is psychotic. Who ever gets that kind of spouse are terribly unlucky.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

If you want to show who is the boss, better marry an illiterate village women with not much awareness and who is conditioned to believe that husband is God.

Modern educated women are not going to take attitude from husbands.

My wife and I have great understanding. But we do run into arguments every now and then and it always ends up me apologizing.

We can never win an argument with women. They cry and cry if they are on losing side. We end up pacifying them anyways by wasting another 2 hours. Got to have tons of patience.

Been there, done that.

You are right.

----

But I never understood this whole deal that men can never win an argument with women.

If I am right, I have never lost an argument with my girl (but to be fair I am not yet married).

From my little experience, girls are the easiest to win arguments against. Throw enough logic and they would walk out or change topic. Of course, if you are wrong and you just keep arguing, they won't have respect for you but talking about times when you have a reasonable point of view.

Maybe in marriage things could be different.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

You are right.

----

But I never understood this whole deal that men can never win an argument with women.

If I am right, I have never lost an argument with my girl (but to be fair I am not yet married).

From my little experience, girls are the easiest to win arguments against. Throw enough logic and they would walk out or change topic. Of course, if you are wrong and you just keep arguing, they won't have respect for you but talking about times when you have a reasonable point of view.

Maybe in marriage things could be different.

You can win argument against your GF. But not against your wife.

If you want to win an argument against your wife, please refer to my post above and marry a village women brought up in a very traditional household. Even then, there is no guarantee.

Equations change a lot after marriage.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

You can win argument against your GF. But not against your wife.

If you want to win an argument against your wife, please refer to my post above and marry a village women brought up in a very traditional household. Even then, there is no guarantee.

Equations change a lot after marriage.

I see.

I guess you are right.

Maybe beating a girl would change the equation a bit.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

I see.

I guess you are right.

Maybe beating a girl would change the equation a bit.

One of my friends tried that and they are divorced now.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

One of my friends tried that and they are divorced now.

Woaahhhh...

Bad idea then.

Maybe the trick is to be a nice caring husband in general who would beat up his wife but not enough to push her over the edge. :

 

[IslamabadUnited]

I hate arrange marriages especially when people reject girls for pathetic reasons (heights, education,etc..). I think it can affect a girls self-esteem badly.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

I hate arrange marriages especially when people reject girls for pathetic reasons (heights, education,etc..). I think it can affect a girls self-esteem badly.

I get the feeling that these days its guys who get rejected badly in arrange marriage circuit.

Source: My sister's marriage which happened last year.

The butchery was BRUTAL.

 

[The Last Of The Stars]

Haven't deserted the ship, just rooting for India this Word T20, now that Pakistan have shamelessly crashed out

Traitor

 

[The Last Of The Stars]

Sorry to disappoint you, OP, I hope you won't mind it as I am unmarried, so zero experience.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

I hate arrange marriages especially when people reject girls for pathetic reasons (heights, education,etc..). I think it can affect a girls self-esteem badly.

Rejections are common even if you do not go for arranged marriages.

Imagine you are at a party. You liked a girl and tried to approach her. She gives you a kind of look and walks away. It effects your confidence. You feel pathetic when that happens.

 

[IslamabadUnited]

Rejections are common even if you do not go for arranged marriages.

Imagine you are at a party. You liked a girl and tried to approach her. She gives you a kind of look and walks away. It effects your confidence. You feel pathetic when that happens.

Yes, I agree with you. However, I personally think this Rishta Manga process is pathetic. I think people should have the right to marry anyone they want.

 

[The Last Of The Stars]

Yes, I agree with you. However, I personally think this Rishta Manga process is pathetic. I think people should have the right to marry anyone they want.

But parents' opinion must be valued highly.

 

[JaDed]

The success of arranged marriages, and the rate of love marriages ending in divorce, proves, beyond doubt, that love is over rated. Marriage is all about adjustment. and love happens when you get used to each other.

People not having the courage to do love marriage will have no courage to divorce thus the lower rate.

 

[IslamabadUnited]

But parents' opinion must be valued highly.

I agree with you.

 

[pakistani pride]

That's adorable.

And you got married at the end of your studies? That's pretty cool and quite 'early' relatively. Unless you're a girl.

2 years after i finished uni. Im from the netherlands and my wife from IBD. My mom really wanted me to get married in pak.

At the nostalgic dude yes even my little angel loves cricket. The 3 of us, infact 4 of us which includes my dear mother as well..

 

[Hamza_]

I know quite a few , infact I was one of those people who thought will never get married & few other people who where in a similar phase , but i dont think anyone is regretting it . Some people just do not know how to be happy , marriage is just an excuse and some times convenient to blame your spouse for it I guess .

100% agree with you some people just cant be happy nor they know how to be happy.

 

[Hamza_]

If you want to show who is the boss, better marry an illiterate village women with not much awareness and who is conditioned to believe that husband is God.

Modern educated women are not going to take attitude from husbands.

My wife and I have great understanding. But we do run into arguments every now and then and it always ends up me apologizing.

We can never win an argument with women. They cry and cry if they are on losing side. We end up pacifying them anyways by wasting another 2 hours. Got to have tons of patience.

Been there, done that.

Okay then i think time to migrate to a village?

 

[Thivagar]

I hate arrange marriages especially when people reject girls for pathetic reasons (heights, education,etc..). I think it can affect a girls self-esteem badly.

What if she can't sing properly or dance Bharathanatyam ? P.s They are actually excuses to say "not interested:. It is better than saying "her nose looks funny" or "she is too fat".

 

[KingKhanWC]

This is related to the thread, a very sad story and can't believe this kind of stuff still happens today.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p03nnns9/murdered-by-my-father

 

[anuk]

You are right.

----

But I never understood this whole deal that men can never win an argument with women.

If I am right, I have never lost an argument with my girl (but to be fair I am not yet married).

From my little experience, girls are the easiest to win arguments against. Throw enough logic and they would walk out or change topic. Of course, if you are wrong and you just keep arguing, they won't have respect for you but talking about times when you have a reasonable point of view.

Maybe in marriage things could be different.

The women in ur life sound very submissive.

 

[Diffusion]

You are right.

----

But I never understood this whole deal that men can never win an argument with women.

If I am right, I have never lost an argument with my girl (but to be fair I am not yet married).

From my little experience, girls are the easiest to win arguments against. Throw enough logic and they would walk out or change topic. Of course, if you are wrong and you just keep arguing, they won't have respect for you but talking about times when you have a reasonable point of view.

Maybe in marriage things could be different.

That only works if you actually know why you're arguing. Most of the time, I have absolutely no clue at all. They've already decided your wrong about something, and she's angry about it.

The problem is they then expect you to 'know' what apparent misdeed you've already done, rather than just saying it. But obviously, you have absolutely no clue. Blood boiling stuff. You can't win against that.

 

[Nostalgic]

The butchery was BRUTAL.

Isn't butchery brutal by definition? Is there tender butchery? Maybe with tender cuts of meat at a butcher's.

 

[CricketCartoons]

I am already dancing to her tune.

I had paid token money for a flat I thought she would like. She came after two weeks to see the property. She found a flaw in the dimensions of the master bedroom. So I was asked to look again. Found another property and paid the token money. Now I get calls from two sellers who try to convince me daily. Either ways, I am going to lose the token money at one.

 

[Nostalgic]

Either ways, I am going to lose the token money at one.

Buy both properties. Problem solved.

 

[Belawal2014]

Buy both properties. Problem solved.

Was yours an arranged marriage?

 

[Nostalgic]

Was yours an arranged marriage?

It was the furthest thing from an arranged marriage.

 

[Belawal2014]

It was the furthest thing from an arranged marriage.

Oh cool. Good for you.

 

[Nostalgic]

Oh cool. Good for you.

I'll take your word for it.

 

[Belawal2014]

I'll take your word for it.

Haha, I presumed that if it wan't an arranged marriage, it had to have been a love marriage, in which case you're quite lucky to have married someone you love, and not compromise.

I dunno, I might sound childish Only 19.

 

[Nostalgic]

Haha, I presumed that if it wan't an arranged marriage, it had to have been a love marriage, in which case you're quite lucky to have married someone you love, and not compromise.

I dunno, I might sound childish Only 19.

You presumed correctly. These days we call it a love/hate/its complicated marriage.

 

[Texaco]

The two-year old loves cricket already?

Lol...

 

[Texaco]

I have seen few happily married people as well.

If you know the meaning of "few" you are saying the same thing as he is.

 

[CricketCartoons]

If you know the meaning of "few" you are saying the same thing as he is.

Reminds me of school when we were taught the difference between "few" and "a few".

 

[street cricketer]

I am already dancing to her tune.

I had paid token money for a flat I thought she would like. She came after two weeks to see the property. She found a flaw in the dimensions of the master bedroom. So I was asked to look again. Found another property and paid the token money. Now I get calls from two sellers who try to convince me daily. Either ways, I am going to lose the token money at one.

CC owns internet posters 24x7 but shown his place in his home

 

[CricketCartoons]

CC owns internet posters 24x7 but shown his place in his home

Even on internet I get my rear handed over to me. I am like the khujli wala dog which is treated with disdain everywhere.

 

[#GreenRoars]

Arrange marriage better than love marriage, especially teen age love.

 

[#GreenRoars]

Seriously though, yeah.

It is a challenge.

Choosing the right person plays a very important role.

As long as the male or female is not a total psycho, a marriage can be made to work even with all problems.

I don't think any parents will select a psycho life partner for their kid.

 

[Lurker_Ind]

I don't think any parents will select a psycho life partner for their kid.

Whether people are psycho or not, it only comes out after marriage.

Imagine a over possessive husband who does not trust his wife. He locks her at home and beats her whenever he sees her talking to a stranger. These things will not come out in half hour sessions between boy and girl that happen before Arranged marriages.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

I don't think any parents will select a psycho life partner for their kid.

Just cos they won't select doesn't mean it cannot happen.

Psycho does not mean LITERALLY psycho but someone who is so emotionally unstable that its hard to live with them.

 

[Haroon786]

Arrange marriage better than love marriage, especially teen age love.

I think love marriage, as long as you go in knowing that it won't be perfect and that your partner will not be (even if you know her really well) exactly as how you imagine her, is better than arranged marriage.

 

[Texaco]

Reminds me of school when we were taught the difference between "few" and "a few".

Exactly.

 

[Texaco]

I don't think any parents will select a psycho life partner for their kid.

Huh.. How many marriages have you observed?
The world is full of psychos waiting to get married.

 

[Texaco]

Whether people are psycho or not, it only comes out after marriage.

Imagine a over possessive husband who does not trust his wife. He locks her at home and beats her whenever he sees her talking to a stranger. These things will not come out in half hour sessions between boy and girl that happen before Arranged marriages.

Or a psycho wife who threatens to call police by slitting her wrist.. These women I tell you are the real danger.

 

[Black Zero]

I understand that its already too late for most but still following could help in postmortem

As per Oscar:

- Most marriages fail primarily because of a common sense of the husband.

- The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties

- Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

- How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive

- The happiness of a married man depends on those to whom he is not married

 

[DW44]

Shared by someone today:
Pakistani society takes great pains to teach children the rights of parents but their(the children's) own rights go to die somewhere between arranged marriage and 'log kya kahenge(what will people say)'.

Truer words have rarely been said. It's sickening that we're already a fifth of the way through the twenty first century yet this glorified form of legalized prostitution not only exists but thrives. Sad state of affairs and shame on our elder generations for using 'raising their kids', something parents everywhere do, as an excuse to use their children as playing cards later in life.

Sent from my SM-N910C using Tapatalk

 

[Convict]

You are right.

----

But I never understood this whole deal that men can never win an argument with women.

If I am right, I have never lost an argument with my girl (but to be fair I am not yet married).

From my little experience, girls are the easiest to win arguments against. Throw enough logic and they would walk out or change topic. Of course, if you are wrong and you just keep arguing, they won't have respect for you but talking about times when you have a reasonable point of view.

Maybe in marriage things could be different.

It's because it's living in the house with an unhappy and angry wife is not worth winning the argument

 

[Convict]

The two-year old loves cricket already?

Big Afridi fan

 

[Moh@n]

That only works if you actually know why you're arguing. Most of the time, I have absolutely no clue at all. They've already decided your wrong about something, and she's angry about it.

The problem is they then expect you to 'know' what apparent misdeed you've already done, rather than just saying it. But obviously, you have absolutely no clue. Blood boiling stuff. You can't win against that.

Nail. Hammer. Head. Well done champ!

 

[Thivagar]

Whether people are psycho or not, it only comes out after marriage.

Imagine a over possessive husband who does not trust his wife. He locks her at home and beats her whenever he sees her talking to a stranger. These things will not come out in half hour sessions between boy and girl that happen before Arranged marriages.

That is why lovers should never tie a knot unless they have been dating each other for at least 2 years.