- Oct 6, 2004
I always knew that there would be an explanation for this.....
Pakistan deliver master stroke to stun Australia
By our Medical Correspondent
Sydney: As throngs of bewildered and sorry looking Aussie fans made their way out of Sydney Cricket ground this evening - many literally in tears of madness and clumps of hair missing from their heads - one could only marvel at the misfortune that had befallen a once proud Aussie nation.
According to press reports, by the time the last Pakistani batsman walked into bat, Ponting and his boys were reduced to hysterical bunch of giggling school kids. In addition, the Australian physio had to be called on to the field on many occasions during the Pakistani innings as the legendary spinner, Hauritz suffered from multiple cramps bought on by sight of sorry Pakistani batsmen trying to play on their front foots.
Later during the evening, in an exclusive interview to TSN, Pakistani manager Intikhab Alam disclosed the details of the masterstroke delivered by Mohammad Yusuf.
As Intikhab Alam, soaked another samosa in his 15th cup of chai, he wore the look of a man satisfied with his days work. “Khair - It all worked out in the end”, remarked Inti – “The Australians tried their level best to fool us into winning this game but we were well prepared – seems like all those endless hours of fielding practice with a gulli danda and me sitting on a garden chair paid off in the end – eh? I think the Australians now realize that we are a special bunch of people- not to be trifled with!”
Inti reserved special praise for Pakistani batsman and fielders for their courageous battle for mediocrity. He singled out veteran and resident octogenarian Misbah and the ever vigilant young stallion, Kamran Akmal for special praise. “Really, without those 2 and a few others, we would have been lost in the woods but thankfully we had Mohammad Yusuf at the helm to put things right”
He did admit that all wasn’t plain sailing as some in the media would make it out to be - In this regard, he had some harsh words for the seemingly incompetent Umar Akmal who almost wrecked the game plan with his batting skills. Inti also picked out Mohammed Asif and Sami for their lack of concentration, as was visible in the first Australian innings but said that even they finally came to their senses in the Aussie 2nd innings.
Meanwhile, back in Pakistan, the atmosphere was strangely subdued. As gangs of youth walked around beating up anyone who was seen wearing wicket keeping gloves or anyone who resembled Mohammed Yusuf, it was clear that many were taking this result in the wrong way. The former Pakistani captain, Younis Khan who had been waiting at the airport with a bat in hand, tried to calm emotions by remarking that cricket was a game of enjoyment and thus should not to be taken seriously. He further congratulated Mohammed Yusuf for this achievement and claimed that he would carry on with Yusuf’s mission, given a second chance as a captain or seat in economy to Australia – whichever came first.