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Would you and/or your family be fine with marrying a foreigner?

Slog

Slog

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By foreigner I mean someone of different race (Caucasian or Turkish for eg) Discuss.

(Also. Foreigners of both categories: As in Muslim and non-Muslim)
 
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It looks like the likely scenario for me. My mom is cool with it. My dad and I have rarely ever talked about this matter because we both know it will be an all out war as he is very traditional and I'm more liberal in these sort of matters.

Non-Muslim is a more touchy subject and both parents will oppose it or at least not support it.

I'm not really into desi girls.
 
Absolutely fine with it as an individual. Most probably Parents wont mind if its a foreign muslim girl. However, Parents will oppose if its a foreign non-muslim girl because of social pressure more than anything else. If i decide to marry to a foreign non-muslim girl, i would most probably have to shift to the country where she lives to make it work smoothly rather than bringing her into a desi society.
 
Absolutely. My brother is married to a Portuguese girl while my mother wants me to marry a Chinese looking girl.
 
BlackShadow said:
Absolutely. My brother is married to a Portuguese girl while my mother wants me to marry a Chinese looking girl.
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where do you live? goan portugese or from portugal?
 
My mother was disappointed when I was dating a
Muslim girl and a Manipuri Christian before that. She would have eventually accepted it but wouldn't have been happy. I think she would be ok with anyone apart from a religious Christian/Muslim though - atheist/agnostic are all fine and even if they are foreign of whatever race.

I personally would prefer marrying an Indian before any foreigner but im open to that as well.
 
My family wouldn't be supportive as they don't even consider other caste folks or other province folks fit for marriage. (Yes such people in majority do exist till now in Pakistan).

I, on the other hand, am completely fine with them marrying whoever they want. Just because someone is different religion or ethnicity doesn't mean they can't be a great husband/wife.
 
my folks had a preference for a "pakistani" and hence muslim girl - however I married a non-muslim, non-pakistani....

as long as the person is a decent person and a good human being.
 
Slog said:
By foreigner I mean someone of different race (Caucasian or Turkish for eg) Discuss.

(Also. Foreigners of both categories: As in Muslim and non-Muslim)
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They didn’t Like it at first but they accepted it.
 
I married a non Pakistany...

Have four cousins married to foreigners..

It’s all good.
 
Marriage is a luxury that I cant afford. But if it ever happened, they will only want a girl who'll take good care of them regardless of her country
 
TQ89 said:
My family wouldn't be supportive as they don't even consider other caste folks or other province folks fit for marriage. (Yes such people in majority do exist till now in Pakistan).

I, on the other hand, am completely fine with them marrying whoever they want. Just because someone is different religion or ethnicity doesn't mean they can't be a great husband/wife.
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If you don't mind what caste/ethnicity is this?

Marrying only within your community really limits you to a small pool of people and that just makes things harder as there very few girls that on the same wavelength as you. So yeah do yo thing man.
 
Mines would be fine only insisting on two things. She must be Muslim and not Indian. We are a very political family.
 
My phuppo married her American **** Boyfriend at the age of 30. Vast majority of our family was naturally against it, my daadi kept trying to explain to her "Think of your kids, your future generations" but she was very admanent, stubborn and was like "Fine, if i won't have your approval i will not marry him but then i won't marry anyone else either period" and there were moments of frustration which i lol can easily identify with where she would complain about her siblings and parents not being on her side.

Eventually 90% of the siblings relented and agreed. The **** guy also converted but my dad was still not convinced. She got married to him 1994 but my dad did not speak to her for almost 2 years. Lol such were the good old days of Pakistan, there were 2 wedding ceremonies, one set of ceremonies were held in the US for mostly his side of the family and hers in the US/Canada, the other set of ceremonies were held in Pakistan in Peshawar and i remember that time period where her **** husband was freely roaming around the streets of Peshawar, Karachi.

In 1996 when they came from the US for a second time to Pakistan, when they came to Karachi, my father finally relented his opposition and broke the Ice by inviting them over for dinner at night.

Now my dad tells me he understood why my phuppo at the time made the decision she did because at the age of 30 the rishta's being received from Pakistani men were just not inspiring where the vast majority were less educated and established than her, plus also she really did love her **** boyfriend at the time.

Sadly, everything has a price. Her 2 kids are complete non-muslims where her elder daughter openly talks about her vices and has gone completely out of control while the second child i.e. son doesn't really identify with Pakistan and Islam either. She feels very sad and depressed about this and recently she confessed to my mom that "I am responsible for the state of my children today, i should not have married an American ****, i should have just married the first Pakistani guy my mother and siblings recommended to me".

One thing i have realized about people in my life is that they talk too much, are completely selfish, unempathetic and just do whatever is in their own best interest and like to interfere and poke their noses in other people's affairs and judge them.
 
As far as the topic goes, it is really hard to say, you cannot predict what life will throw to us.
 
If i find a gori girlfriend resembling Mila Kunis :), to hell with any opposition in the world.
 
I personally have no problem if it's a Christian or Jew with similar enough religious views (one God, values, etc) to me to make it work. However, my parents would only be happy with a Shia Pakistani girl, bonus points for her being Syed.
 
hussain.r97 said:
I personally have no problem if it's a Christian or Jew with similar enough religious views (one God, values, etc) to me to make it work. However, my parents would only be happy with a Shia Pakistani girl, bonus points for her being Syed.
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How accepting are shia pakistanis of marrying a sunni?especially if the guy is sunni? I've seen a few sushi weddings but it isn't so common.
 
Pakistanian said:
How accepting are shia pakistanis of marrying a sunni?especially if the guy is sunni? I've seen a few sushi weddings but it isn't so common.
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It really depends on the family, but generally speaking, I see more acceptance of it in Punjabi Shia families as opposed to Shias living in Karachi. Even if it happens in Karachi, it's usually only between a Shia man and a Sunni girl.

I think another reason that Karachi Shias are more reluctant is the fact that many of them are Syed, and a lot of Syeds only marry other Syeds. I have even seen a case of a man who would only marry her daughter to someone who is Jafri Syed, because they are Jafri Syed.
 
Pakistanian said:
If you don't mind what caste/ethnicity is this?

Marrying only within your community really limits you to a small pool of people and that just makes things harder as there very few girls that on the same wavelength as you. So yeah do yo thing man.
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Punjabi Jutts & already got married to one through arranged marriage so lol no chance of me doing my thing ever in this lifetime.

I am just an uncle now who tries to give other youngsters perspective on how they should really approach such stuff instead of how their respective society & family pressures them to approach.
 
My wife is Romanian/German Christian Orthodox

Eldest sister (after myself) is married to a white Christian Canadian of German ancestry (neither are religious though)

The one after that is married to a Syria who is from the Assad family, really cool guy.

Third one is married to a local UAE Egyptian.

My brother was dating a Christian Indian but went to Umrah and came back all Mullah and asked our mother to get him married ASAP as he did not want to live the "haraam" life anymore and married our first cousin, basically our Uncles daughter. He has three kids now and they all suffer from varying degrees of Autism, they were all here for the summer vacations and I don't think it'who ars fair to the children who are really sweet and I love them but they don't really deserve this self inflicted and avoidable infliction.
 
Marrying foreigners create a lot of complications. Look at Americans. They don't know what they are, claim some Irish ancestor here, some Cherokee there, without owning much of their culture, and that's why they're so permeable to postmodernist a-cultural trends and crass materialism (no sense of the past, no sense of the sacred, ... thus fulfilling your existential tasks through consumerism and individualism), not even talking of the whole religious angle either, for the simple fact that if you're a Muslim and marry a non Muslim, you're de facto a cultural liberal, and there are 120% chances that your children will be as much.
 
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enkidu_ said:
Marrying foreigners create a lot of complications. Look at Americans. They don't know what they are, claim some Irish ancestor here, some Cherokee there, without owning much of their culture, and that's why they're so permeable to postmodernist a-cultural trends and crass materialism (no sense of the past, no sense of the sacred, ... thus fulfilling your existential tasks through consumerism and individualism), not even talking of the whole religious angle either, for the simple fact that if you're a Muslim and marry a non Muslim, you're de facto a cultural liberal, and there are 120% chances that your children will be as much.
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Would you say the same about some Pakistanis that have roots in different parts of Pakistan and the subcontinent?
 
Pakistanian said:
Would you say the same about some Pakistanis that have roots in different parts of Pakistan and the subcontinent?
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Ideally one should stick to the ethnicity, but Pakistani being a meta-ethnicity for historical reasons it's still better than going totally out of the ethnocultural circle.

If you're half Pashtun and half Sindhi (let's say) you still have Pakistaniat and/or Islam as alternative identity markers, but if you're half Punjabi Muslim and half Swedish Christian the future child will be existentially confused for life.
 
Savak said:
If i find a gori girlfriend resembling Mila Kunis :), to hell with any opposition in the world.
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man you also like MIla?

I love her too. Its the eyes!!!

Love girls with those eyes
 
Savak said:
My phuppo married her American **** Boyfriend at the age of 30. Vast majority of our family was naturally against it, my daadi kept trying to explain to her "Think of your kids, your future generations" but she was very admanent, stubborn and was like "Fine, if i won't have your approval i will not marry him but then i won't marry anyone else either period" and there were moments of frustration which i lol can easily identify with where she would complain about her siblings and parents not being on her side.

Eventually 90% of the siblings relented and agreed. The **** guy also converted but my dad was still not convinced. She got married to him 1994 but my dad did not speak to her for almost 2 years. Lol such were the good old days of Pakistan, there were 2 wedding ceremonies, one set of ceremonies were held in the US for mostly his side of the family and hers in the US/Canada, the other set of ceremonies were held in Pakistan in Peshawar and i remember that time period where her **** husband was freely roaming around the streets of Peshawar, Karachi.

In 1996 when they came from the US for a second time to Pakistan, when they came to Karachi, my father finally relented his opposition and broke the Ice by inviting them over for dinner at night.

Now my dad tells me he understood why my phuppo at the time made the decision she did because at the age of 30 the rishta's being received from Pakistani men were just not inspiring where the vast majority were less educated and established than her, plus also she really did love her **** boyfriend at the time.

Sadly, everything has a price. Her 2 kids are complete non-muslims where her elder daughter openly talks about her vices and has gone completely out of control while the second child i.e. son doesn't really identify with Pakistan and Islam either. She feels very sad and depressed about this and recently she confessed to my mom that "I am responsible for the state of my children today, i should not have married an American ****, i should have just married the first Pakistani guy my mother and siblings recommended to me".

One thing i have realized about people in my life is that they talk too much, are completely selfish, unempathetic and just do whatever is in their own best interest and like to interfere and poke their noses in other people's affairs and judge them.
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The amount of opposition I’m dealing these days is similar to your story. The only difference is that she is not a gori - we belong from same caste, same last name, we live in the same street back home, she is Pakistani, same baradri, same religion/sect and still the problems I’m facing are becoming too much to handle for me.

My cousin in France married a gori in 2015 - so far so good. They are living a happy life together.

Is your phupo still married to that guy?
 
To be frank, I have found that Indians marrying a Caucasian get less opposition than marrying fellow Indians of different cast or religion. I am not saying that there will be no opposition as there will be but the parents agreeing to a marriage with a Caucasian is much higher.
 
UP said:
The amount of opposition I’m dealing these days is similar to your story. The only difference is that she is not a gori - we belong from same caste, same last name, we live in the same street back home, she is Pakistani, same baradri, same religion/sect and still the problems I’m facing are becoming too much to handle for me.

My cousin in France married a gori in 2015 - so far so good. They are living a happy life together.

Is your phupo still married to that guy?
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What community is this if I may ask?
 
giri26 said:
To be frank, I have found that Indians marrying a Caucasian get less opposition than marrying fellow Indians of different cast or religion. I am not saying that there will be no opposition as there will be but the parents agreeing to a marriage with a Caucasian is much higher.
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For many Indian people, Marrying white folks especially white women is seen as upward mobility.
 
My gf is non Indian, older than me and an orthodox christian. She says that she always asks forgiveness from god for intending to get married to an atheist. I don't force my views on her and she doesn't impose her on mine.

My family is cool with it. Dad himself married mom even though she was from a lower caste.

We even celebrate Christmas though there's not even one is a christian.
 
well I'm married so I'm guiding my children now..they can marry anybody who is a Muslim..(sorry i draw a line at Indian Muslims)..

Non Muslims are out of the question. I will simply not tolerate any of my children marrying a Non Muslim. Just not going to happen..I will consider it a gross failure on my part of any of my children come home and tell me they want to marry a Non Muslim..
 
the Great Khan said:
well I'm married so I'm guiding my children now..they can marry anybody who is a Muslim..(sorry i draw a line at Indian Muslims)..

Non Muslims are out of the question. I will simply not tolerate any of my children marrying a Non Muslim. Just not going to happen..I will consider it a gross failure on my part of any of my children come home and tell me they want to marry a Non Muslim..
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This is me as well, even though I am a very reluctant Muslim, probably barely do much more faith wise than lapsed Muslims like Deadball or saadibaba. Many would call it a hypocritical stance for me to insist on kids marrying Muslims, but not really, since I a don't want my kids marrying strict Muslims either.

Race has never been an issue for me, but Islamic values are a good grounding for living in a permissive society and I have seen many non-Muslims welcome the change when they marry in to Islamic families and convert.
 
Major said:
man you also like MIla?

I love her too. Its the eyes!!!

Love girls with those eyes
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Not the eyes, but something about the impression you get by looking at her i.e. she is good looking but also someone who is not shy and will not let someone walk over her and has an intelligent mind of her own.
 
UP said:
The amount of opposition I’m dealing these days is similar to your story. The only difference is that she is not a gori - we belong from same caste, same last name, we live in the same street back home, she is Pakistani, same baradri, same religion/sect and still the problems I’m facing are becoming too much to handle for me.

My cousin in France married a gori in 2015 - so far so good. They are living a happy life together.

Is your phupo still married to that guy?
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Still married but the drastic change in her world wide orientation in the last 5-6 years is indeed noticeable, in 2012 she was telling me that it is perfectly okay to marry a gori, nothing wrong with it as long as she is a nice human being deep down. Lol now in 2018, she is completely against it and is like just marry a Pakistani girl just for the sake of it and obey your parents as she wishes she did the same.

I personally have zero sympathy for her, it is one thing if she was an 18-19 year old love struck teenager but she made the decision she did inspite of so many warnings from her mother, siblings about the consequences when she was a mature 30 year old adult who had grown up whole heartedly in a Muslim household and had seen the world as well.
 
Savak said:
Still married but the drastic change in her world wide orientation in the last 5-6 years is indeed noticeable, in 2012 she was telling me that it is perfectly okay to marry a gori, nothing wrong with it as long as she is a nice human being deep down. Lol now in 2018, she is completely against it and is like just marry a Pakistani girl just for the sake of it and obey your parents as she wishes she did the same.

I personally have zero sympathy for her, it is one thing if she was an 18-19 year old love struck teenager but she made the decision she did inspite of so many warnings from her mother, siblings about the consequences when she was a mature 30 year old adult who had grown up whole heartedly in a Muslim household and had seen the world as well.
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When you are in love - those warnings or signs dont matter. It is what it is at that time. My way or the highway is the way people adopt when they find love. Which I dont blame anyone because it is in our human nature to resist when someone interferes in our most important decision.
 
giri26 said:
To be frank, I have found that Indians marrying a Caucasian get less opposition than marrying fellow Indians of different cast or religion. I am not saying that there will be no opposition as there will be but the parents agreeing to a marriage with a Caucasian is much higher.
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Because the Indians who would even think about marrying outside the race are usually more progressive ones, and are automatically marrying outside the religion. These people are equally likely to marry outside their caste too.
 
BlackShadow said:
Because the Indians who would even think about marrying outside the race are usually more progressive ones, and are automatically marrying outside the religion. These people are equally likely to marry outside their caste too.
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Indians have weak spot for Caucasians. That's why it'll be easier for some one to marry an American or German than a girl from different caste.
 
Savak said:
Not the eyes, but something about the impression you get by looking at her i.e. she is good looking but also someone who is not shy and will not let someone walk over her and has an intelligent mind of her own.
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She's Ukrainian. Most Ukrainian girls have that trend due to female dominant society.
 
Madplayer said:
Yes but I have always seen her with a tan skin.
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She's an ethnic Jew, they're ofc pred. Caucasian but with slightly tanned skin from Euro standards (like other Levantines or Levant-influenced populations ; Armenians, Lebanese, southern Italians, Greeks, etc).
 
Cousin married a **** doctor and everyone in the family rolled their eyes and said meh. But I understand why she did it though, if all your life your parents want you to be like a **** then no1 should expect that you will marry a desi.
 
I wouldn't mind marrying a foreigner, as long as they were Muslim. Religion is important to me.
 
Can’t see my self marrying a desi girl. I think I’d 100% marry a non desi. Religion ain’t important to me.
 
I come from a background with the backwards minded view where marrying outside the bradari/clan/sub-ethnic group is considered highly inappropriate and looked down upon. Let alone marrying outside race.

I personally couldn't care less about the person's ethnic background however I am not an isolated being and have to consider my relationship with all those who I am connected with.

It is a big source of trouble for me but for the moment I have no immediate decision to make and there are other things which have a higher priority.
 
Sirris said:
I come from a background with the backwards minded view where marrying outside the bradari/clan/sub-ethnic group is considered highly inappropriate and looked down upon. Let alone marrying outside race.

I personally couldn't care less about the person's ethnic background however I am not an isolated being and have to consider my relationship with all those who I am connected with.

It is a big source of trouble for me but for the moment I have no immediate decision to make and there are other things which have a higher priority.
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What clan is this?
 
When I ever I hang out with white girls I get more attention from brown girls, it's like they crave white validation. So I'm open to interracial dating as it opens up many opportunities.
 
Savak said:
Still married but the drastic change in her world wide orientation in the last 5-6 years is indeed noticeable, in 2012 she was telling me that it is perfectly okay to marry a gori, nothing wrong with it as long as she is a nice human being deep down. Lol now in 2018, she is completely against it and is like just marry a Pakistani girl just for the sake of it and obey your parents as she wishes she did the same.

I personally have zero sympathy for her, it is one thing if she was an 18-19 year old love struck teenager but she made the decision she did inspite of so many warnings from her mother, siblings about the consequences when she was a mature 30 year old adult who had grown up whole heartedly in a Muslim household and had seen the world as well.
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My advice to any Muslim is dont marry a non Muslim. Unless that person sincerely converts and dedicates themselves to Islam. One of my best friends is a convert and married a gujrati girl. they live happily together. But he is a Muslim through and through and converted before he met her. He used to be a catholic but now is a full card carrying Musalman.

For a woman it is even more important to marry a Muslim. Ultimatley in laws and family have a real say in what goes on in your life. You are not just marrying that person but your marrying into that culture.

I'll give a small (and slightly unpleasant example but bare with me). Whne you child reaches a certain age will you teach them to clean themselves properly? JHow will you do that if your wife doesnt follow the same rules? Will your child be a Non Muslim or a Muslim? Will you teach them the Kalma? What if your wife disagrees coz she is atheist? what if you take your children to a bbq with her family and they are all drinking, getting drunk and then mouthing off about "Islum" " but your alright mate"..

Its all well and good "falling in Love" until love falls ontop of your ehad like a big rock.

What about your first real fight? and she picks the kids up and out the door she goes? Phir kya kuro gay? cry like a baby to Mama?

A musalman Aurat has enough ghairat to understand the implications of the here and now and the afterlife.

One story for you guys. There was a chap who married a non Muslim lady. He was algerian she was english. They were happily married for many years. His siblings werent too fond of his decision and kept their interactions to a minimum. Until he died. They then went to the lady who wanted to cremate him so she could be close to him forever. Hearing this news horrified his family and they tried to intervene with the local masjid to get him a decent Muslim burial. She went to court and they lost. He was cremated..

what about his afterlife? hmnn..soacho aur samjo..this isnt a game..
 
I am married to a Anglo Australian and have a child too who is very aware all of his heritage and most importantly faith. We are living in Aus now in a non Muslim area and he is very proud to tell people he is Muslim and he is half Asian (still doesn't like being called Aussie insists he is English as he was born there and no one can take that away).
It isn't easy cultures are different but you end up making up a third culture which is a hybrid of the 2 using Islam as the base.
 
Salma_T said:
I am married to a Anglo Australian and have a child too who is very aware all of his heritage and most importantly faith. We are living in Aus now in a non Muslim area and he is very proud to tell people he is Muslim and he is half Asian (still doesn't like being called Aussie insists he is English as he was born there and no one can take that away).
It isn't easy cultures are different but you end up making up a third culture which is a hybrid of the 2 using Islam as the base.
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Is your husband Muslim? If not, how does he feel about his children being Muslim?
 
the Great Khan said:
One story for you guys. There was a chap who married a non Muslim lady. He was algerian she was english. They were happily married for many years. His siblings werent too fond of his decision and kept their interactions to a minimum. Until he died. They then went to the lady who wanted to cremate him so she could be close to him forever. Hearing this news horrified his family and they tried to intervene with the local masjid to get him a decent Muslim burial. She went to court and they lost. He was cremated..

what about his afterlife? hmnn..soacho aur samjo..this isnt a game..
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That lady left Islam ?
 
As long as the person is also Muslim, sure but ideally the same background because it makes life easier.

I would never marry a non-Muslim white English girl or non-Muslim British asian(Indian) girl.
 
the Great Khan said:
A very childish response..I expect more from some people..
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Simply responding to your allegation of Muslim women having more "ghairat" than others. Sincerely expected much better from you too. I am still left flabbergasted when I see logical, rational, educated people totally lose the plot when it comes to religious indoctrination.

The person who said "Get them while they're young" was right on so many levels.
 
In general there is no issue in my family however. One of my Uncles married a Japanese American. My Mum's distant Uncle married a Scottish lady who's Dad was a priest and disowned her after she got married. A couple of cousins married Bangladeshis.

My wife's friend married a Jamican who MashAllah converted. Another married a whit guy but as far as I know he didnt convert. Initially both family's were disappointed, however in the end they accepted. None of them had a proper marriage ceremony as I felt the families were ashamed of their daughter's choices
 
DeadBall said:
Simply responding to your allegation of Muslim women having more "ghairat" than others. Sincerely expected much better from you too. I am still left flabbergasted when I see logical, rational, educated people totally lose the plot when it comes to religious indoctrination.

The person who said "Get them while they're young" was right on so many levels.
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Its called life experience. When you have your own children youll understand. When you see the world and what a cesspit it is youll also understand, Youve all been fed this hollywodd/bollywood lie that everything is hunky dory and we can all get along. Its garbage and when reality bits you , you suddenly realise this.

When you hit fifty and suddenly have to wake up three times a night to take a leak, you confront your own mortality and reflect on your life.

How did I do? did I do good by my children? Who will pray for me when I'm six feet under? did I give to charity? Was I a good person and will I face Allah swt with a clear conscience?

When i look at my children I'm aware that they are my replacements and that the clock is ticking. I will not let them make a mistake that could send their lives down and ugly path.

As for the ghairat comment, it was in the context of thinking about the afterlife and Islam etc. Proabaly a bad choice of words. Non Muslims nowadays lack shame when it comes to speaking about God or religion and thus will come up with all sorts of cockamamy ideas on life and funerals etc.

Another story: a Muslim lad who was not a rpacticing Muslim but whos parents were, was a massive Man utd fan. He used to travel to all the games had a non Muslim group of friends equally crazy about footie. He passed away but as he was such a fanatic he had mentioned to his friends that if he were ever to pass before them, he wanted to be buried in his Manutd football shirt. During the funeral he was buried with his shirt and his friends sung some Man utd anthems. His parents wee mujboor.

Imagine that for a second..Munkar and Nakeer come to speak to you and your wearing a top with shaitaans picture on it..
 
the Great Khan said:
Its called life experience. When you have your own children youll understand. When you see the world and what a cesspit it is youll also understand, Youve all been fed this hollywodd/bollywood lie that everything is hunky dory and we can all get along. Its garbage and when reality bits you , you suddenly realise this.

When you hit fifty and suddenly have to wake up three times a night to take a leak, you confront your own mortality and reflect on your life.

How did I do? did I do good by my children? Who will pray for me when I'm six feet under? did I give to charity? Was I a good person and will I face Allah swt with a clear conscience?

When i look at my children I'm aware that they are my replacements and that the clock is ticking. I will not let them make a mistake that could send their lives down and ugly path.

As for the ghairat comment, it was in the context of thinking about the afterlife and Islam etc. Proabaly a bad choice of words. Non Muslims nowadays lack shame when it comes to speaking about God or religion and thus will come up with all sorts of cockamamy ideas on life and funerals etc.

Another story: a Muslim lad who was not a rpacticing Muslim but whos parents were, was a massive Man utd fan. He used to travel to all the games had a non Muslim group of friends equally crazy about footie. He passed away but as he was such a fanatic he had mentioned to his friends that if he were ever to pass before them, he wanted to be buried in his Manutd football shirt. During the funeral he was buried with his shirt and his friends sung some Man utd anthems. His parents wee mujboor.


Imagine that for a second..Munkar and Nakeer come to speak to you and your wearing a top with shaitaans picture on it..
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Respect to the lad, his parents and his friends. The guy went the way he wanted to.
 
the Great Khan said:
Its called life experience. When you have your own children youll understand. When you see the world and what a cesspit it is youll also understand, Youve all been fed this hollywodd/bollywood lie that everything is hunky dory and we can all get along. Its garbage and when reality bits you , you suddenly realise this.

When you hit fifty and suddenly have to wake up three times a night to take a leak, you confront your own mortality and reflect on your life.

How did I do? did I do good by my children? Who will pray for me when I'm six feet under? did I give to charity? Was I a good person and will I face Allah swt with a clear conscience?

When i look at my children I'm aware that they are my replacements and that the clock is ticking. I will not let them make a mistake that could send their lives down and ugly path.

As for the ghairat comment, it was in the context of thinking about the afterlife and Islam etc. Proabaly a bad choice of words. Non Muslims nowadays lack shame when it comes to speaking about God or religion and thus will come up with all sorts of cockamamy ideas on life and funerals etc.

Another story: a Muslim lad who was not a rpacticing Muslim but whos parents were, was a massive Man utd fan. He used to travel to all the games had a non Muslim group of friends equally crazy about footie. He passed away but as he was such a fanatic he had mentioned to his friends that if he were ever to pass before them, he wanted to be buried in his Manutd football shirt. During the funeral he was buried with his shirt and his friends sung some Man utd anthems. His parents wee mujboor.

Imagine that for a second..Munkar and Nakeer come to speak to you and your wearing a top with shaitaans picture on it..
Click to expand...


I don't think ghairat is the right word either. A Muslim aurat as you put it, will have been brought up in a culture of Islam, but they can still be beghairat, and in contrast, a non-Muslim woman might have all the qualities but have been brought up believing something completely different. It's the belief or culture we disagree with, not the individuals who make up that culture.
 
GBK_Fan said:
That entire post reeks of the us vs them view the poster holds and then he complains about the world being biased
Click to expand...

why dont you direct the post at the "poster"...I say it how it is..you just dont like listening to hard truths..
 
Cpt. Rishwat said:
I don't think ghairat is the right word either. A Muslim aurat as you put it, will have been brought up in a culture of Islam, but they can still be beghairat, and in contrast, a non-Muslim woman might have all the qualities but have been brought up believing something completely different. It's the belief or culture we disagree with, not the individuals who make up that culture.
Click to expand...

yes I take that back..probably not what I meant to articulate..unfortunately I have seen much that leaves one to hold their head in their hands when it comes to death, funerals etc..
 
GBK_Fan said:
That entire post reeks of the us vs them view the poster holds and then he complains about the world being biased
Click to expand...

Muslims have a bias, it is true, so do non-Muslims, there is no point in complaining about it. The best we can do is try to understand from each other's POV. Cremation might not sound bad for a Hindu, but I think it's a big no no for Muslims, something to do with the grave and the afterlife I am sure. I think Christians and Jews have similar rituals.
 
I would but my uncles and aunties would oppose it as they would find it embarrassing and there is social pressure to conform to the social and cultural standards.
 
Justcrazy said:
Okay that I got , but did she leave Islam , because you said that she wanted her husband to be cremated.

If the Husband was Muslim , then how can he be cremated?
Click to expand...

no she was a Non Muslim white lady..never was a Muslim. He wasn't "practising" so evidently didn't care to inform her about the rights of burial etc.
 
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