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British-Pakistani weddings - Why are they so boring and orchestrated?

To be honest most weddings are boring. As for Pak ones you go there and sit at the table hoping to bump in to some familiar faces to chat with. After that have some dinner, walk around whilst the Music is playing and some oldies are making fools of themselves by trying to dance:))) The young ones are using the opportunity to find their own possible partners by using the occasion as a dating event:maqsood. After that "rukhsati" happens with the girl all upset at leaving her family or at least pretending to do so:rp The invitation card typically reads "reception" whatever that means, "dinner" and then "rukhsati". Then you are free to go home, another Sunday has been wasted!
 
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PakLFC said:
To be honest most weddings are boring. As for Pak ones you go there and sit at the table hoping to bump in to some familiar faces to chat with. After that have some dinner, walk around whilst the Music is playing and some oldies are making fools of themselves by trying to dance:))) The young ones are using the opportunity to find their own possible partners by using the occasion as a dating event:maqsood. After that "rukhsati" happens with the girl all upset at leaving her family or at least pretending to do so:rp The invitation card typically reads "reception" whatever that means, "dinner" and then "rukhsati". Then you are free to go home, another Sunday has been wasted!
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Most weddings are boring except for the virgin groom.
 
Rana said:
Yes Bro, Alhamdolillah.

I cant say much about the Shadi ceremony because it was in Lahore, so you cannot put it into the bracket of 'British Asian weddings'.

My Valima however took place in London....

The venue was basically a large marquee, fit enough for 800 guests that was erected in the large, open Car park complex of a mosque. Due to the nature of the location and some strict rules of the Ahmadiyya community in regards to weddings, it was understood that no music shall be played and the marquee was to be divided, half for men only and the other half for women. These are two aspects that could well have been a huge turn off for those who have never attended such weddings, as you would expect to see the beautiful dresses of all male and females present in the midst of a beautiful atmosphere created through music. As for the Marquee itself, this was not especially erected for my wedding. The Mosque was going through some renovation and construction therefore they hired a long term Marquee for events and wedding hall duties. Lovely red carpet and chandeliers, looked very posh no doubt, but the only cost we had to cover was the fees for the workers who were to clean up afterwards.

The car that me and my wife rolled into belonged to one of my Dad's friends who had a Black S class (2012 reg in 2016) and he used it for Chauffeuring. The cars that were following us into the hall were genuinely our own cars. Some of them flashy, others decent. Everyone dressed in their best black suits, our cars were black too, we hired and paid for nothing extra flashy. Although I must admit that I did do my best to hire a G63 just for the day, but the owner said nothing less than a 3 day hire costing £1200 and add ons, not worth it we thought.

The catering was done by the Mosque caterers, who are now very well trained after 15 years of catering for weddings, events at a grande scale at the mosque. Their food without a doubt is delicious. The head of the catering department was a very close family friend, he arranged a very decent package for my father in which I selected their best menu, the dishes were:

Starters; Papri chaat, roast chicken and I think grilled fish (if I remember correctly)

Main: Lamb Korma, Paalak Chicken, Maash ki Daal, Mutton Plough, Naan, Salad

Desert: Gaajar ka Halwa (the best in the business I assure you)

The chief guest for the wedding was none other than the head of the world wide Ahmadiyya community. Believe you me, when he arrives with his entourage, the world stops and watches. With all his Bodyguards, the cars in the entourage (S class and Q7s, around 6-7 cars) and the aura of the man himself is a sight to behold for everyone present. All of my non Ahmadi guests could not believe their eyes when they saw a man with so much prestige, following and security present. The gates to the marquee were all cordoned with scan through security checks, at least 10 security personal each gate to make sure everything is safe.

My wife's dress was paid for by our family, It was fairly expensive but we laid emphasis on quality. The dress was especially hand crafted in Pakistan (lahore), however, the same dress in England (Southall or somewhere) would have probably cost us 3 times more than what we paid for. Quite practically an arm and leg considering british prices. I had a contribution from one of my relatives for my suit, but I paid 60% of the price through my own pocket, I bought a Hugo Boss 3 piece black suit, tie and shirt. My shoes and belt (from LV) cost more than the entire suit tbf. Looking back at it now, I went way overboard with my own suit. That black suit is just hanging their in my cupboard, I am waiting for an English funeral so that I can wear it again. The shoes and belt are still handy though.

All in all, the wedding was a huge success considering the boundaries we had to stay in. When it came to delivering a show for our guests, it came with the class and simplicity that was involved. All of my european friends were left in awe of the wedding, it was unique, it was beautiful to them. The best thing about it is, my parents are not in debt paying off my wedding. The entire cost was reduced significantly due to the opportunities that were presented and the help of our friends, what looked like a very expensive wedding was actually excellent value for money.

I have been married for over a year now, I cant say oh my I am the happiest man in the world blah blah blah. Marriage has its ups and downs, but we have such a beautiful daughter who is now 5 months and I cant ask for any more tbh.
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Love the detailed post and insight Rana with regards to the Valima, think you did the right thing with regards to being highly efficient with your finances and the event was also successful. I hope your marriage is successful my friend I wish you well, hope you have found the Sable to your Brock Lesnar :)) and congrats being a father as well!

Am not married yet but hope to one day, I don't think I can afford a lavish wedding and do not intend to go overboard when it would be better to save the money for a house deposit but I here it can be challenging to find a middle ground when a party may have feelings opposite your own. I will keep a few quid on the side to make my entrance as the Undertaker when I enter the hall though :yk P.S You are my favourite Ahmadi poster.
 
I can imagine [MENTION=43583]KingKhanWC[/MENTION] arriving to his wedding hall on a magic carpet :akhtar
 
shaz619 said:
I can imagine [MENTION=43583]KingKhanWC[/MENTION] arriving to his wedding hall on a magic carpet :akhtar
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Haha. Followed by a flip flop onto the blinged out chair awaiting me.

Have you ever been to a wedding in Pakistan? Some very strange customs there.
 
Some people talking big here but their own wedding will be exactly same as mentioned in OP.

And also calling crying at runhsati fake is very childish and immature.
 
IAJ said:
Some people talking big here but their own wedding will be exactly same as mentioned in OP.

And also calling crying at runhsati fake is very childish and immature.
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What is so childish and immature about it? Most brides do that to satisfy tradition more then anything else! In case it missed you most here seem to be saying that most Pak marriages including there own are and will be the same. Unless you are a millionaire only then will it be different.
 
Cpt. Rishwat said:
Even worse when they clash with Sky Super Sunday and you miss two Premier games.
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A friend of mine who is a hardcore Blues (Bham city) fan left his sisters wedding as it clashed with a home game which he had tickets for.

The last couple ive been to this summer were held on a weekday, must be a cost cutting move.
 
KingKhanWC said:
Haha. Followed by a flip flop onto the blinged out chair awaiting me.

Have you ever been to a wedding in Pakistan? Some very strange customs there.
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I have a long time ago, I have to say a lot of fun compared to the ones here and the food was so delicious :)) they literally go all out, just make sure you're not in the way when they're firing gun shots in the air :akhtar who needs fire works ? lol
 
Cpt. Rishwat said:
Even worse when they clash with Sky Super Sunday and you miss two Premier games.
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KingKhanWC said:
A friend of mine who is a hardcore Blues (Bham city) fan left his sisters wedding as it clashed with a home game which he had tickets for.

The last couple ive been to this summer were held on a weekday, must be a cost cutting move.
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The sad part is if it's an important one and there's a clash you have no choice but to go! if you fail to turn there are actually people out there who will hold a grudge over you like forever! If it was a high profile Pakistan v India game or big fight between Keith Thurman and Floyd Mayweather I would just come up with an excuse one way or another, get myself hit by a micra or something as well if I have to
 
shaz619 said:
I have a long time ago, I have to say a lot of fun compared to the ones here and the food was so delicious :)) they literally go all out, just make sure you're not in the way when they're firing gun shots in the air :akhtar who needs fire works ? lol
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I've been to a few bro.

The last one was a few years ago, it was my dads mates nephew and I was made best man even though I had never met the kid before. It was a village wedding, a village near Mohammad Amir's home. I thought is all good fun until i realised as best man I had to spend some rupees. He had this white horse and decided to take a tour of nearby houses/villages. Every other house we stopped at some lady gave him a glass of milk and when he drank it I had to put money in the empty glass! Then there were these other strange ceremonies, such giving money to the brides sisters who took the horses, then more money for them to move out of his seat. A large number of transsexual dancers turned up and guess what more money had to be thrown at them. This just went on an on with AK-47;s coming out at night firing randomly in the air at nothing. This wedding would never end so I decided to quietly make my way out without anyone noticing.
 
KingKhanWC said:
I've been to a few bro.

The last one was a few years ago, it was my dads mates nephew and I was made best man even though I had never met the kid before. It was a village wedding, a village near Mohammad Amir's home. I thought is all good fun until i realised as best man I had to spend some rupees. He had this white horse and decided to take a tour of nearby houses/villages. Every other house we stopped at some lady gave him a glass of milk and when he drank it I had to put money in the empty glass! Then there were these other strange ceremonies, such giving money to the brides sisters who took the horses, then more money for them to move out of his seat. A large number of transsexual dancers turned up and guess what more money had to be thrown at them. This just went on an on with AK-47;s coming out at night firing randomly in the air at nothing. This wedding would never end so I decided to quietly make my way out without anyone noticing.
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:))) Sounds like Tyson Fury would fit in nicely as the master of ceremonies for that wedding, am pretty sure similar stuff probably happened to the ones I went to but was too young to look too much into it lol but must say enjoyed myself a lot more then the ones over here which can be a little one dimensional at times but they are definitely a lot more structured :yk
 
shaz619 said:
:))) Sounds like Tyson Fury would fit in nicely as the master of ceremonies for that wedding, am pretty sure similar stuff probably happened to the ones I went to but was too young to look too much into it lol but must say enjoyed myself a lot more then the ones over here which can be a little one dimensional at times but they are definitely a lot more structured :yk
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It was good fun but tiring being there all day, esp when loads of people come to hug you because you're the best man etc inc elderly women who slobber all over your face because you're a bit lighter than the rest :)). All I remember the groom was gone for an hour or so and the rest of his buddies were either drunk or high on the weed milkshake so I decided to leave. I did get my own back on the groom though, I told one of the kids in the household to go and knock his room door hard as he has my phone and I need it. Im sure the blessed couple were just sweet talking about their new found love and long happy life together. No harm done :)
 
shaz619 said:
[MENTION=131867]London_Lahori[/MENTION] making his entrance on the big day:

[MENTION=136193]Adil_94[/MENTION] [MENTION=47617]Red Devil[/MENTION]

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I'm a simple man. A couple rock bottoms and I'll be done.
 
never been to a single wedding that wasn't boring to the core. the whole concept of a wedding function just makes me puke internally.
 
KingKhanWC said:
I've been to a few bro.

The last one was a few years ago, it was my dads mates nephew and I was made best man even though I had never met the kid before. It was a village wedding, a village near Mohammad Amir's home. I thought is all good fun until i realised as best man I had to spend some rupees. He had this white horse and decided to take a tour of nearby houses/villages. Every other house we stopped at some lady gave him a glass of milk and when he drank it I had to put money in the empty glass! Then there were these other strange ceremonies, such giving money to the brides sisters who took the horses, then more money for them to move out of his seat. A large number of transsexual dancers turned up and guess what more money had to be thrown at them. This just went on an on with AK-47;s coming out at night firing randomly in the air at nothing. This wedding would never end so I decided to quietly make my way out without anyone noticing.
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Lolwhut? I was waiting all along for you to say "And then I woke up!"
 
KingKhanWC said:
I've been to a few bro.

The last one was a few years ago, it was my dads mates nephew and I was made best man even though I had never met the kid before. It was a village wedding, a village near Mohammad Amir's home. I thought is all good fun until i realised as best man I had to spend some rupees. He had this white horse and decided to take a tour of nearby houses/villages. Every other house we stopped at some lady gave him a glass of milk and when he drank it I had to put money in the empty glass! Then there were these other strange ceremonies, such giving money to the brides sisters who took the horses, then more money for them to move out of his seat. A large number of transsexual dancers turned up and guess what more money had to be thrown at them. This just went on an on with AK-47;s coming out at night firing randomly in the air at nothing. This wedding would never end so I decided to quietly make my way out without anyone noticing.
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tenor.gif
 
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