The literal translation of "anxiety" into Urdu would be
"khouf", but I prefer
"gabraahat" ("restlessness") due to the context in which the former is used in our culture. Tell some
desi, especially an elder, that a person suffers from
khouf and they´ll ask you whether he/she fears
jinnaat and
bhoot (ghosts and spirits), and it isn´t their fault. For a lot of people actually it needs to be stated what kind of
khouf results in certain OCDs:
As a complete opposite to the OCD of tidying up and cleaning the room all the time, there´s one of leaving all things (especially clothes and letters received in post) open, on the carpet, and such individuals hate tidying up and cleaning. Their "hidden" fear often is that when they´ll need these things they won´t be able to find them, especially letters, or that it´ll take too much time. People with anxiety often lack patience, self-confidence and don´t trust themselves and their memory much, have focus and concentration issues.
Thanks for talking about this bro. And yes, I haven't talked about it much, but I've had anxiety problems throughout my childhood, in my teens and now going into my youth. In fact, so much so, I actually had a lot of white hair by the time I was 17 (I don't know if that's related to anxiety tho). OCD has always been there but there was also always a sense of panic. You know, the feeling of terror. As if something was wrong. I had, and still to this day have many sleepless nights being worried about losing my parents, my family and my loved ones. So, I'm pretty sure anxiety's been there. As for the heart pounding; that happens quite a lot. Even when I'm going into a normal situation, something like meeting an old friend or if I see someone I know, my heart begins pounding and I get sweaty hands, but I'm assuming that's normal.
Also, my father had hyperthyroidism and I've never gotten a diagnosis so I'm not sure.
And this post perfectly explains everything. Well done, it´s an incredibly brave thing to admit such a thing.
1. I was known within relatives for the amount of hair I had, as does my brother. Ever since my struggles post the medicine that I´ve mentioned in this thread already, I´ve had a tremendous hairloss. It could be down to the insomnia and the stress that I´m going through.
2. The element of shock and surprise can often result in heart palpitations, but anxiety-sufferers have it to the extreme without them even realising it; and that´s what anxiety does to you my friend. In the next paragraph, I´m going to say something that you´ll remember forever and will one day come back to quote it:
No anxiety-sufferer will ever realise what a horror anxiety is and what a world of peace it is outside that till you´ve lived a day or two completely without it. If anyone does that, he´ll never want to go back to the life of his untreated anxiety. It´s a world of its own, a lot of peace and a place where you feel that you always have more time to perform tasks than others think, or than you yourself used to think. Think of MS as an example. No wonder that he used to drink four litres milk a day! That amount of protein, and especially calcium, is bound to have an influence on your brain and nerves, hence your personality.
Don't know if it comes under OCD, but I am always fighting with my mind to stop me from saying something that can land me in trouble. Had this habit of saying profanities aloud when I was alone, and say Allah-hu-akbar when I was in a crowd. Now that I am married, I have this urge of saying me exes name in front of my wife. She asks me why are you sounding lost, but often I am fighting with myself not to say something like that. She has heard me say profanities when I am alone in the kitchen, and asked me what was that for? I always come up with some excuse, like it was a reaction to a bad memory. In office, I used to get drawn into debates and say the most mean things that would draw gasps from females for my backward and misogynist views, but I didn't mean them..it was just a need to be as mean as possible.
It may or may not be any relevant here, but the urge to voice one´s opinion on every matter, especially controversial, the inability to tolerate others´ likes and to utter profanities has been observed in some people as a compulsive behaviour, sometimes all or two of those in the same person. Some of these individuals draw satisfaction and pleasure from "owning" others in debates.
Situation is much better. My brain is not sharp anymore, but I am more at peace. Involved in multiple startups and working from home, staying with my wife, and earning well (though under lot of debt which will take a year to pay off). Worried about uttering something in front of my wife, which can ruin my marriage.
Don´t tell me here about the brain not being as sharp anymore! Again to mention the devil (Cipro), ever since my health troubles, my senses seem to have been numbed. The sense of humour, poetry, philosophies.... I miss my old self, but I challenge to be once again one day what I was!
Say my
salaam to my
bhaabhi 
. Let her know of the blasts from the past. To this day, I talk to my girl about an alien who came to my life years ago but disappeared suddenly in late spring 2013, exactly the day she entered my life. However, his legacy lives on as I still hail him as my guru who gave my funny side a direction and the gut to tell jokes about myself in open, to make others (and myself) laugh. Before that, I would focus on making jokes about others and situations, and that too was good within relatives and friends, but the stuff that I learnt from him was/is too addictive. When he left, I took over and made sure at least others don´t miss him at the place where he was once most famous.
He disappeared though, but I happily accepted that within weeks. He was a troubled soul and needed to sort out things in his own life. Everyone has the right to dedicate a bit of his focus to his own troubles and problems. Just because we behave normal and are funny doesn´t mean we´re without issues. It may sound harsh and bad, but I don´t miss him anymore. I just cherish the times! But he´ll understand what I exactly mean by that.
