Does it (marriage) get better?

[HussainRx8]

I recently tied the knot and married the love of my life. However, it's been hard. Too much argument over petty things! I'm not sure how this is sustainable. Whatever understanding we had has completely broken down. I don't know how long it would last.

So people who have been married for a while: Does it get better?

 

[Black Zero]

I recently tied the knot and married the love of my life. However, it's been hard. Too much argument over petty things! I'm not sure how this is sustainable. Whatever understanding we had has completely broken down. I don't know how long it would last.

So people who have been married for a while: Does it get better?

Nope.
However, you would adjust.

 

[HussainRx8]

Nope.
However, you would adjust.

Then how do experienced husbands manage?

 

[Syed1]

Did you know the person before marriage?

 

[Black Zero]

Did you know the person before marriage?

He married love of his life.

 

[Black Zero]

Then how do experienced husbands manage?

I can recommend you one book...it's by John Grey, men from mars, women from venus.
https://www.amazon.ca/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216

 

[PakLFC]

I think marriage is like a salty ladu. From the outside it seems very appealing and romantic. Living with one person for the rest of your life will put anyone to the test. I think people just give in to this idea accepting it as fate after a while. Marriage usually is extremely boring unless the couple find a way of keeping it alive. A good way would be to spend some months apart every year doing your own thing so to appreciate your partner and not take them for granted. As they say "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

 

[10sion]

Do you post a lot regarding your marriage (pictures and so on) in social media?

The evil eye is real.

Anything worth having, is worth putting effort in. May your find bliss and comfort in your married life.

 

[Yossarian]

I recently tied the knot and married the love of my life. However, it's been hard. Too much argument over petty things! I'm not sure how this is sustainable. Whatever understanding we had has completely broken down. I don't know how long it would last.

So people who have been married for a while: Does it get better?

When you are courting/dating, it's like marketing/PR where both partners are trying to show their best traits whilst hiding all their negatives. Even when living together (without marrying) it is still the case to some extent, as both know that either could simply walk away any time they wish or discover an aspect of their partner they don't like.

However, after marriage, this PR/marketing goes out of the window and each sees the other partner in the full light of day, warts and all. And it's not easy to simply walk away, especially if they have had children by then. So you either compromise, or live a life of hell, or end up with a messy divorce and hating each other.

I suggest compromise.

 

[Nostalgic]

So people who have been married for a while: Does it get better?

No.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I recently tied the knot and married the love of my life. However, it's been hard. Too much argument over petty things! I'm not sure how this is sustainable. Whatever understanding we had has completely broken down. I don't know how long it would last.

So people who have been married for a while: Does it get better?

No, more than likely those same 'petty issues' would raise their heads with some future partner as well if they are doing so with the love of your life. You might want to consider whether married life is worth it, or would you prefer the single life.

 

[Specialisttailender]

Both of you must understand each other and sacrifice for each other. That is how marriage work nowadays. You can't suppress women like before, why do you think divorce rate is skyrocketing everywhere ? During your lovy-dovy days you may have gotten into verbal altercations and exchange of words but then you both go to your own homes and start missing each other. What it does is it never allow you to make up, rather you ignore what started the fight. I always suggest that when you are marrying your lover make sure you have both known each other's good and bad side. Both of you must sit down and communicate about how you are going to get along and prevent future arguments.

Love marriage > Arranged marriage.

 

[Specialisttailender]

Do you post a lot regarding your marriage (pictures and so on) in social media?

The evil eye is real.

Anything worth having, is worth putting effort in. May your find bliss and comfort in your married life.

I very much agree. Don't need to show off your relationship/marriage life to the world, why care about what others think of your life ? Couples must be happy away from cameras and that is how life works. I see so many snapchats, facebook photos and out of nowhere the break up happens.

 

[IMMY69]

Marriage is all about compromising. Giving and taking.

 

[IMMY69]

When you are courting/dating, it's like marketing/PR where both partners are trying to show their best traits whilst hiding all their negatives. Even when living together (without marrying) it is still the case to some extent, as both know that either could simply walk away any time they wish or discover an aspect of their partner they don't like.

However, after marriage, this PR/marketing goes out of the window and each sees the other partner in the full light of day, warts and all. And it's not easy to simply walk away, especially if they have had children by then. So you either compromise, or live a life of hell, or end up with a messy divorce and hating each other.

I suggest compromise.

So really living together without getting married is possibly the best route to take

 

[Syed1]

I very much agree. Don't need to show off your relationship/marriage life to the world, why care about what others think of your life ? Couples must be happy away from cameras and that is how life works. I see so many snapchats, facebook photos and out of nowhere the break up happens.

Today's culture is such that people require instant gratification to soothe their egos. They post selfies or 'cute' moments on social media and get likes/views/comments and for a few minutes they feel as if they are very important but the fact is most people don't even care about them or what they are doing.

I also despise how some people are more interested in showing the world that they are having 'fun' rather than actually having fun. I went to a concert and most of the people there (and within my own circle) were watching the concert through their phones since they were snapchatting the whole thing trying to show how 'cool' they are and how 'interesting' lives they have.

 

[MRSN]

haven't got married yet but I have not seen many successful marriages in my life. Most have turned out to be a nightmare.

 

[troodon]

Marriage never gets better. It only worsens over time.

Some couples have the courage to call it quits. Some just accept it as fate (Like Subcontinental people) and seek refuge in religion hoping for the best.

What fails marriage is the expectations. Couples try to be Wife/Husband rather than friends. The best couples are always best friends first and then husband/wife.

For Men, secret to happy married life is to not quarrel over little things with wife. Just ignore and nod your head for petty things. For serious matters, you have put your foot down.

How you treat your wife during the initial days of marriage is how it will be for the rest of your life. Anything less, your wife will feel you have changed and you don't love her anymore

 

[Specialisttailender]

Marriage is all about compromising. Giving and taking.

Educate or not some people just don't have that ability to realize their actions. Not everyone can be in control of their emotions and their own actions. I consider these people border line disabled but they themselves not be in that position to understand their short comings.

 

[Yossarian]

So really living together without getting married is possibly the best route to take

Depends upon whether you want a lifelong partner who will stick with you through thick and thin, will be prepared to put up with your ups and downs (and vice versa) or whether the primary reason for not getting married is so as not to make a lifelong commitment and be free to walk out any time the going gets tough.

 

[Zak_Fan]

Wow, this sounds depressing. Sometimes, people are not meant to be together and if you feel that is the case, you could part ways amicably.

 

[Rayyman]

I'm guessing it's just like other things in life. If you put in time and work, it will get better. Having a positive attitude helps a lot as well.

 

[JaDed]

Marriage is not an adventure and neither a race,its a partnership with social consequences on quitting. Its much more complicated than "just" getting better or "successful" these are absolutely stupid terms w.r.t marriage imo but others might have different opinion.