Dos and don’ts on your first date

[Poseidon]

Well, i met a girl on online dating site and i am going to meet her on my first date of my life, its a dinner date, so i really don't know what do's and don'ts for first date, should i take something with me like flower or some gift or not, is it optional or necessary or not? What to order or talk about her?

Share some points with me, need some suggestion.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Always take a gift but dont spend too much or too little on the first 'date'. Perfume usually is a winner. If you dont take anything , you're tight and it's off putting.

Order what she likes to eat not your fav. However make suggestions, something she's not tried before ideally but what she might like. Better still let her order something and you choose something for her, make sure it's not dahl tho.

Talk about her life so she knows you're not only interested in one thing.

The biggest tip, plenty on here could learn from. When you finally meet her , be calm, chilled and talk to her like you have met before many times.

Finally if you're funny tell her some jokes and if you're not , dont bother.

 

[Syed1]

Who takes a gift on the first date????



You can do a small bunch of flowers, please no red roses. Some colorful lilies etc. Dress well. Khaki pants, blue or white plain collared shirt and a grey or navy blue blazer works well. Dont forget the belt has to match the shoes. Wear dress shoes. NO SNEAKERS!


Don't act desperate or try to sell yourself. Be down to earth. Also don't keep talking alot about your work/education or her work/education, otherwise it will start feeling like a job interview. Keep the convo light, like fav movies, fav books, songs, fav food etc etc.


Good luck

 

[blackanhyellow]

Either pick her up in your car, take public transit together, or meet her at the spot depending on your situation. Do not let her pick you up in her car.

And no do not being any gifts, chocolates, flowers etc...its a first date.

Dress according to the venue. If you are taking her to a fancy place then dress fancy. Dont go overboard and look like you are trying too hard.
If you are taking her to a normal place and a movie afterwards dress more casual but not too casual. A nice button up shirt with jeans.

Do not ask too digging questions keep it light. Dont ask her about previous relationships unless she brings it up, or her future marriage plans lol.
Ask her more about her career, hobbies. Find common interests, i.e. tv shows, books, places to visit, etc...

Dont get political, or offer religious views etc... until you get to know her more.

Just dont seem too desperate and dont try to act cool. Just keep everything subtle yet entertain her, show her a good time.

Dont go on your phone even if your tempted too during the awkward silences. Give her your attention.

Definitely offer to pay at the end, but dont insist too much if she wants to pay half.

If you only have her on ur dating app make sure you get her phone number.

 

[blackanhyellow]

Always take a gift but dont spend too much or too little on the first 'date'. Perfume usually is a winner. If you dont take anything , you're tight and it's off putting.

Order what she likes to eat not your fav. However make suggestions, something she's not tried before ideally but what she might like. Better still let her order something and you choose something for her, make sure it's not dahl tho.

Talk about her life so she knows you're not only interested in one thing.

The biggest tip, plenty on here could learn from. When you finally meet her , be calm, chilled and talk to her like you have met before many times.

Finally if you're funny tell her some jokes and if you're not , dont bother.

Bro you give perfume to women on your first dates??

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

No Gift. No one does that on a first date.

 

[CricketCartoons]

Go with a chaperone.

 

[pillionrider]

Wear a mask.

It will give you an excuse, when things don't go as expected

 

[pillionrider]

Always take a gift but dont spend too much or too little on the first 'date'. Perfume usually is a winner. If you dont take anything , you're tight and it's off putting.

Order what she likes to eat not your fav. However make suggestions, something she's not tried before ideally but what she might like. Better still let her order something and you choose something for her, make sure it's not dahl tho.

Talk about her life so she knows you're not only interested in one thing.

The biggest tip, plenty on here could learn from. When you finally meet her , be calm, chilled and talk to her like you have met before many times.

Finally if you're funny tell her some jokes and if you're not , dont bother.

It's clear now why you have a lot of time for PP

 

[sweep_shot]

I dated only once in my life and that was a disaster. She paid for my foods 100%. I didn't even offer to pay. It was a very boring date and she was yawning hard. We of course never met again.

It is important that you appear interesting. Ladies get bored easily.

 

[BreadPakoda]

Gift on the first date is a sure shot way to ensure you don’t get a second date.

 

[MenInG]

Guys we will allow this thread but please keep it within limits of decency.

 

[Invincible Gujjar]

LOL at gift on first date.Try to make her laugh if you can and dress nicely.

 

[Robert]

Well, i met a girl on online dating site and i am going to meet her on my first date of my life, its a dinner date, so i really don't know what do's and don'ts for first date, should i take something with me like flower or some gift or not, is it optional or necessary or not? What to order or talk about her?

Share some points with me, need some suggestion.

You have to make her feel valued. Like she is the only woman you are thinking about. Dress smart casual, unless the venue requires a tie. Treat her respectfully. Ask lots of questions but none too heavy or deep. No politics or religion*. Smile a lot.

Don’t worry if it goes wrong, it’s a long term learning experience. Nobody gave me a second date for ages! Just try and keep it light and have fun.




* actually I did talk about politics, religion, astrophysics and metaphysics on my first date with Mrs Robert, but this is not *usually* a good strategy.

 

[Third_Umpire]

Be well groomed, kind and respectful. And let the rest flow. If there is chemistry, it will be apparent. Don’t over engineer it.

Definitely no gifts... :/.

 

[MenInG]

Gifts make it sound like a rishta date!

 

[andy0204]

Give her a rose .

 

[uberkoen]

Just be yourself and remember to wear deodorant. No one likes BO.

It might be an awkward meeting so maybe prepare yourself in advance for those awkward silences and have a list of topics and questions ready for discussion.

 

[Zeshan547]

Just be yourself, dress up well but more on casual side than formal, keep the questions simple and show that you genuinely care about her feelings as well and not just her appearance or body, try to stay calm and don't ask any awkward or uncomfortable questions. And try to go with the flow and don't force the issue, if the girl is not too talkative than don't speak too much, ask about her likes and favorites etc, and never try to force the issue or try to get ahead of yourself.

 

[Giannis]

Dental hygiene

 

[Itachi]

.... Even mistakenly don't call her by another girls name. She may become your gf later on.... End result not good....

 

[Slog]

Lol please don’t take a gift

 

[TrentDevil]

Be yourself & act normal, don't fake it
And as the poster above said, make her feel valued. Food is the what usually seals the deal but that's tricky part, you don't have a rule for what to order but make sure you also order something unique, that you haven't tasted yourself as well, go something like 'lets try this out'

 

[Itachi]

Be yourself & act normal, don't fake it
And as the poster above said, make her feel valued. Food is the what usually seals the deal but that's tricky part, you don't have a rule for what to order but make sure you also order something unique, that you haven't tasted yourself as well, go something like 'lets try this out'

I'll totally say against it.

Don't be yourself if you know that you are arrogant, cocky, narcissist. Your aim is NOT TO be yourself but to be stand out from all other guys that are approaching her. If it happens to stay true within yourself, great! If not, the first date is definitely not the best place to show it.

 

[Rajdeep]

Be yourself, dress well, smell good, look confident - that should do the job.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Bro you give perfume to women on your first dates??

It's clear now why you have a lot of time for PP

Gifts make it sound like a rishta date!

Lol please don’t take a gift

I guess different cultures and nations have different methods. In Pakistan I guess you can only smile on the first date and talk about how much you love your parents. Its different growing up in the west, girls are not into silly romantic talk like you see in Bollywood movies with roses plucked in their hair. Its normal here to exchange gifts, could be flowers, choclates or whatever.

Thats why there is arranged marriage for desi people, they haven't a scooby doo on how to connect with the opposite gender.

 

[JaDed]

All replies here seem to point to : Do things or gestures that you can never keep up long term...

 

[Varun]

The objective is to ask her for a second date.

Work backwards from there - only you know the ingredients and strategy to go about doing this.

If you conclude during the date itself that it's not worth it to string her along for a second time around, design an escape hatch in the game-plan so you can smoothly pull the plug.

Also, if [MENTION=2501]Savak[/MENTION] replies here don't read his post(s).

 

[Slog]

I guess different cultures and nations have different methods. In Pakistan I guess you can only smile on the first date and talk about how much you love your parents. Its different growing up in the west, girls are not into silly romantic talk like you see in Bollywood movies with roses plucked in their hair. Its normal here to exchange gifts, could be flowers, choclates or whatever.

Thats why there is arranged marriage for desi people, they haven't a scooby doo on how to connect with the opposite gender.

Lmao. I’m (and I’m sure others) are speaking from dates from a western perspectives

Clearly either you haven’t gone on dates or have gone on just one date and not to a second one with the same person. And if you came up with gifts like perfumes I’m not surprised as to the reason for no second dates.

 

[anikrc1]

It depends on how good you look really. i am a below average looking guy and this traditional strategies never worked for me. So after some time i tried something different and began to act really weird on all my dates. Basically never talking seriously, replying to even her serious questions with a joke and acting really dumb. and my success percentage have gone up since then. Well none of them lead to anything long term, so there's that. also i should warn you that this strategies might lead to the girl leaving the date mid way. So if you are good looking go for the traditional approach, but if you are not, then you have to take some high risk gamble like me..

 

[blackanhyellow]

I guess different cultures and nations have different methods. In Pakistan I guess you can only smile on the first date and talk about how much you love your parents. Its different growing up in the west, girls are not into silly romantic talk like you see in Bollywood movies with roses plucked in their hair. Its normal here to exchange gifts, could be flowers, choclates or whatever.

Thats why there is arranged marriage for desi people, they haven't a scooby doo on how to connect with the opposite gender.

lol bro this must be a UK thing then, definitely does not happen in the states or Canada both places I have lived.

Here if you take a small gift like perfume on a first date, girl will feel awkward. It will make you seem like a loser. After the date she will call her friends up and have a good laugh at your expense.

Talking about normal girls of course, there are gold diggers that date sugar daddies and probably wont show up unless she knows shes getting something lol.

 

[blackanhyellow]

It depends on how good you look really. i am a below average looking guy and this traditional strategies never worked for me. So after some time i tried something different and began to act really weird on all my dates. Basically never talking seriously, replying to even her serious questions with a joke and acting really dumb. and my success percentage have gone up since then. Well none of them lead to anything long term, so there's that. also i should warn you that this strategies might lead to the girl leaving the date mid way. So if you are good looking go for the traditional approach, but if you are not, then you have to take some high risk gamble like me..

If she agrees to go on a date with you in the first place, it means she thinks you are decent enough looking.

The rest just depends on how you interact with her.

 

[sweep_shot]

If she agrees to go on a date with you in the first place, it means she thinks you are decent enough looking.

The rest just depends on how you interact with her.

That's not always the case. Not all women are into looks. Many average-looking men have beautiful girlfriends/wives.

I believe women care about personalities more.

 

[Thulsa]

I guess different cultures and nations have different methods. In Pakistan I guess you can only smile on the first date and talk about how much you love your parents. Its different growing up in the west, girls are not into silly romantic talk like you see in Bollywood movies with roses plucked in their hair. Its normal here to exchange gifts, could be flowers, choclates or whatever.

Thats why there is arranged marriage for desi people, they haven't a scooby doo on how to connect with the opposite gender.

That I suspect confirms what many suspect - you don’t have a clue. And it’s not a sub-continent v UK thing. Even in the UK who takes perfume on a first date? Think it through - what kind of message does that send?

“Great to see you...by the way here is something to make you smell better”

@OP - you will I’m sure hear a lot of ‘advice’, along with comedy like the post I quoted, the best thing to do is just be yourself. Listen, be attentive and leave ego/showmanship at the door.

 

[Realromeo]

Well, i met a girl on online dating site and i am going to meet her on my first date of my life, its a dinner date, so i really don't know what do's and don'ts for first date, should i take something with me like flower or some gift or not, is it optional or necessary or not? What to order or talk about her?

Share some points with me, need some suggestion.

how old are you ? If she is like 28 its different than if she is like 18 lol. Remember, she is a girl, you were one of 100s of guys that hit her up. Don't do anything dumb, dont try to shove your religious, moral or anythother views for now. Women don't like to be judged or feel that you are judging. Ask questions about her and she will talk. Ask "why" more than what. Don't ask why she pursued a degree in X, sure, ask her and then ask "why". Try to be the best of yourself, but if being yourself was never good to get a girl in the past, switch it up. Fake it till you make it.

 

[Realromeo]

All replies here seem to point to : Do things or gestures that you can never keep up long term...

That's life, you just need to put on good first few impressions to get them interested. People judge you based on first impression so this is necessary. Also, he seems like a guy that wasn't really that good with girls in the past. So let him do the basic few things, observe and go on from there.

 

[Syed1]

Who better to comment on this matter than Real Romeo

 

[KingKhanWC]

lol bro this must be a UK thing then, definitely does not happen in the states or Canada both places I have lived.

Here if you take a small gift like perfume on a first date, girl will feel awkward. It will make you seem like a loser. After the date she will call her friends up and have a good laugh at your expense.

Talking about normal girls of course, there are gold diggers that date sugar daddies and probably wont show up unless she knows shes getting something lol.

Exactly it depends on the type of girl. Different cultures.

i.e In Pakistan a first date is meeting under the mango tree to ask her name or if you're really unlucky your first date is on your wedding name, asking her what she looks like under veil.

In the UK the first date ends up with you making babies, it's normal and so are gifts for such girls.

I dont expect a lot of people on here to understand and of course Im a good boy in reality

 

[dildilpak]

Don’t come on too strong or try too hard to be funny.. keep it casual.

Dont dress up like you are going to a christmas party or spray on too much perfume.

Get a small gift.. like her fav book or something.

Its a misnomer that girls dont like heavy conversation...try to guess her interests (hopefully its not only fashion & films) & converse about that. The last time i met a girl on our first date, spent 3 hrs talking finance & politics & cricket... ended up marrying her

 

[Slog]

Exactly it depends on the type of girl. Different cultures.

i.e In Pakistan a first date is meeting under the mango tree to ask her name or if you're really unlucky your first date is on your wedding name, asking her what she looks like under veil.

Is that how things work over at the pind?

 

[KingKhanWC]

Is that how things work over at the pind?

How do you think your anscestors met, at the Ritz?

 

[Theo_14]

I’m not gonna lie, I have never bought a gift on the first date. I would definitely make sure you dress good, smell good and your breath isn’t kicking. Avoid the red flags.

Be confident, be yourself. Don’t be arrogant but a good balanced approach. Ask her questions, show that you are a listener. And for God sake, please pay the bill.

If the talking stage has been over 7-8 months then it is totally understandable for you to get her something cute; I think classic approach of flowers would be good. Wow, how am I advising this, whilst I’ve never done this before, damn.

 

[Sher Khan]

Make sure you buy her a nice gift. You should also dress well and have a nice cologne on.

Also offer to pay for everything. Be ready to take atleast 150-200 pounds on hand and your credit card. Treat them queen to keep them keen-thats the motto to follow with girls.

 

[sweep_shot]

Exactly it depends on the type of girl. Different cultures.

i.e In Pakistan a first date is meeting under the mango tree to ask her name or if you're really unlucky your first date is on your wedding name, asking her what she looks like under veil.

I actually do not mind meeting under a mango tree. Nice shade.

Jokes aside, you have a point.

 

[Dios]

Lol a gift on the first date? This is 2020. The girl will think that you are trying too hard and you will come across as needy/desperate.

 

[Itachi]

Exactly it depends on the type of girl. Different cultures.

i.e In Pakistan a first date is meeting under the mango tree to ask her name or if you're really unlucky your first date is on your wedding name, asking her what she looks like under veil.

In the UK the first date ends up with you making babies, it's normal and so are gifts for such girls.

I dont expect a lot of people on here to understand and of course Im a good boy in reality

I think the purpose of first (and subsequent dates) is to meet the girl under a mango tree to pick mangoes while making conversations. If some Pakistani lad has the ability to go straight, then I believe cheers to that guy and his ability to talk through.

 

[Dios]

The key to first dates is to keep it breezy and cool like you do it all the time even if you don't. Don't make the occasion too formal or make it seem like a really big deal that you are finally on a date. Your goal for the date should be to establish a channel of banter with the girl where you can tease her but not come across as rude or obnoxious. A good way to do this is to find some inside jokes.

 

[Uzi]

Give her one perfume bottle for the first date and that will guarantee you a second date. For the second date, perhaps go with two perfume bottles and that will guarantee you a third date and so on so forth. It's all about the perfume my friend.

If you were to go without gifting her perfume, she will probably leave mid date.

 

[Madplayer]

Just be normal in whatever you wear, do or say.

Don't be weird and that should be enough.

If it isn't enough then she is not worth it and you should find someone else.

Raise your standards. It' not just about her, it's about you too.

Good luck.

 

[Itachi]

Rest assured, if he implements all these ideas, he will be always having first dates....

 

[Justcrazy]

Make sure to spilt the bills

 

[someone21]

Online dating is trickly. Either you get somebody who is faking it by being the “best” version of herself instead of natural. Or you get somebody who is not serious at all, as after all there are many choices available.

Thus, take it seriously and make it an important event. Yet, dont over do it, and always be in your comfort zone.

 

[BreadPakoda]

The key to first dates is to keep it breezy and cool like you do it all the time even if you don't. Don't make the occasion too formal or make it seem like a really big deal that you are finally on a date. Your goal for the date should be to establish a channel of banter with the girl where you can tease her but not come across as rude or obnoxious. A good way to do this is to find some inside jokes.

Solid advice. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

Give her one perfume bottle for the first date and that will guarantee you a second date. For the second date, perhaps go with two perfume bottles and that will guarantee you a third date and so on so forth. It's all about the perfume my friend.

If you were to go without gifting her perfume, she will probably leave mid date.

) Agree. And once you two are married you can open a perfume shop.

 

[someone21]

I guess different cultures and nations have different methods. In Pakistan I guess you can only smile on the first date and talk about how much you love your parents. Its different growing up in the west, girls are not into silly romantic talk like you see in Bollywood movies with roses plucked in their hair. Its normal here to exchange gifts, could be flowers, choclates or whatever.

Thats why there is arranged marriage for desi people, they haven't a scooby doo on how to connect with the opposite gender.

You obviously havent been into the dating scene. You dont gift things to anybody stranger who you have no common links/people. And dating itself is even worse, as the girl will think of you either completely naive or desperate. And its two things you want to avoid in a 1st date.

 

[Pakpak]

Just keep it light hearted, don't talk about anything too deep. And if you're stuck at any point ask her questions, don't interrogate her obviously lol but you know what I mean. Also like others have said wear something smart. Don't turn up in trackies and chains.

This approach worked for me as she's my wife now.

 

[BreadPakoda]

On the contrary, I feel gifts might work in an ultra-desi setting.

 

[JaDed]

Give her one perfume bottle for the first date and that will guarantee you a second date. For the second date, perhaps go with two perfume bottles and that will guarantee you a third date and so on so forth. It's all about the perfume my friend.

If you were to go without gifting her perfume, she will probably leave mid date.

) made my day

 

[Bigboii]

Give her one perfume bottle for the first date and that will guarantee you a second date. For the second date, perhaps go with two perfume bottles and that will guarantee you a third date and so on so forth. It's all about the perfume my friend.

If you were to go without gifting her perfume, she will probably leave mid date.

So the message is girl you smell like s***!!!

 

[marlonbrowndo]

One thing that’s really important is changing your mindset. While you obviously should try to appeal to her and put effort in, everything changes once you start thinking that this first date is for you to gauge whether she is right for you. Once I started thinking like that, all my dates became way easier and much more enjoyable. It’s also better in the long run. It has resulted in me being single throughout university and avoiding relationships that I would have otherwise hated.

 

[PakLFC]

If you do take a gift then make sure it's not an expensive one as that offends many ladies. Don't make any promises that can't be kept neither over praise her appearance. Just be yourself, natural. Chances are you'll probably never see her again)) Don't let her see your wallet and insist on paying fr everything.

 

[Poseidon]

Thanks to all the members and mods for sharing thre experience and suggesting me and helping me.
i hope members will keep this thread alive for new members.
thanks alot.

 

[sweep_shot]

Thanks to all the members and mods for sharing thre experience and suggesting me and helping me.
i hope members will keep this thread alive for new members.
thanks alot.

Did you complete your date? How did it go?

 

[ReverseHit]

Bring perfume as a gift oh lord

OP, just don't try too hard and play it cool. Dress smartly (does not mean suiting up), be playful and bring some humor to the table, and try to find out what interests her and talk about that. Hopefully you'll find something common and/or interesting to bond over.

First dates can often be last dates, as the persona you met online can be completely different face to face, so don't walk in with huge expectations.

 

[topspin]

I dated only once in my life and that was a disaster. She paid for my foods 100%. I didn't even offer to pay. It was a very boring date and she was yawning hard. We of course never met again.

It is important that you appear interesting. Ladies get bored easily.

Not surprised

 

[shaz619]

All replies here seem to point to : Do things or gestures that you can never keep up long term...

Take note of this OP

 

[Itachi]

I wonder how the date went.

Yo OP, how it went?

 

[King-Misbah]

Don't go for dates, go the arrange marriage route. Dates and relationship tend to end up in heart break.

 

[Nadeemp]

Always take a gift but dont spend too much or too little on the first 'date'. Perfume usually is a winner. If you dont take anything , you're tight and it's off putting.

Order what she likes to eat not your fav. However make suggestions, something she's not tried before ideally but what she might like. Better still let her order something and you choose something for her, make sure it's not dahl tho.

Talk about her life so she knows you're not only interested in one thing.

The biggest tip, plenty on here could learn from. When you finally meet her , be calm, chilled and talk to her like you have met before many times.

Finally if you're funny tell her some jokes and if you're not , dont bother.

Obviously you don’t date.

 

[Itachi]

Don't go for dates, go the arrange marriage route. Dates and relationship tend to end up in heart break.

Break ups teaches you how to handle rejections in life which you will face one or the other way. Trying to shield yourself from it, reason being to prevent heartache will be running away from reality.

 

[King-Misbah]

Break ups teaches you how to handle rejections in life which you will face one or the other way. Trying to shield yourself from it, reason being to prevent heartache will be running away from reality.

You can face rejections in other aspect of life. I have dated many women and its not worth it. Waste of money, time and breakups are messy. I encourage all youngsters to not take up undue hassle.

 

[Nadeemp]

You can face rejections in other aspect of life. I have dated many women and its not worth it. Waste of money, time and breakups are messy. I encourage all youngsters to not take up undue hassle.

So u prefer arranged marriage.

 

[Bigboii]

So u prefer arranged marriage.

anything wrong with that?

 

[Nadeemp]

I have no experience in it

 

[Itachi]

anything wrong with that?

Depends on the reason.

If you are opting for aranged mariage to run away from getting hurt of break ups; you actually aren't choosing arranged marriage. It's just a facade to hide your fear of rejections (in simple terms, arranged marriage is your second choice and you HAD to resort to it because you have fear of the other option).

If you are opting for arranged marriage because you believe in the mechanism behind it, then no issues.

 

[Bigboii]

Depends on the reason.

If you are opting for aranged mariage to run away from getting hurt of break ups; you actually aren't choosing arranged marriage. It's just a facade to hide your fear of rejections (in simple terms, arranged marriage is your second choice and you HAD to resort to it because you have fear of the other option).

If you are opting for arranged marriage because you believe in the mechanism behind it, then no issues.

fair enough, I just thought people get judgmental when someone mentions arranged marriage and prefer celibacy

I just didn't like the judgmental aspect of it

 

[King-Misbah]

Depends on the reason.

If you are opting for aranged mariage to run away from getting hurt of break ups; you actually aren't choosing arranged marriage. It's just a facade to hide your fear of rejections (in simple terms, arranged marriage is your second choice and you HAD to resort to it because you have fear of the other option).

If you are opting for arranged marriage because you believe in the mechanism behind it, then no issues.

What about its you who has rejected? Stop assuming things. Even when one rejects there could be heart break.

 

[Nadeemp]

What about its you who has rejected? Stop assuming things. Even when one rejects there could be heart break.

Misbah. You got to be in it to win it.

 

[King-Misbah]

Misbah. You got to be in it to win it.

End results are the same so best to focus on the more important things in life.

 

[Nadeemp]

Ain’t marriage one of the more important things in life.

 

[Itachi]

What about its you who has rejected? Stop assuming things. Even when one rejects there could be heart break.

And where did I say that fear of rejection is only in case of dumpee?

Dumpee and dumper both can have fear of rejection. Many times, you dump someone because you have a fear that he/she might leave you in future. That doesn't makes the dumper free from fear of rejection.