How do you deal with toxic relatives?

[sweep_shot]

As the title says, how do you deal with toxic relatives?

Do you cut them off? Do you keep a distance? Do you confront? Do you prefer to be submissive?

Discuss.

 

[Itachi]

As the title says, how do you deal with toxic relatives?

Do you cut them off? Do you keep a distance? Do you confront? Do you prefer to be submissive?

Discuss.

cut them off.

 

[sweep_shot]

In Islam, we can't cut off relatives. We can keep a distance, if things go really bad.

I feel confrontation is also not a good idea and neither is being submissive.

 

[King_Kohli]

Ignore them.

 

[dildilpak]

In Islam, we can't cut off relatives. We can keep a distance, if things go really bad.

I feel confrontation is also not a good idea and neither is being submissive.

Well if you already know the answer, why did you create this discussion post?

 

[gani999]

It depends on what type of toxicity you are having to endure.

Most of the toxic stuff I've experienced is from relatives who are jealous of me and try to badmouth me at every opportunity.

To such people I rub in what a great life I'm having and keep bragging about my achievements. It makes them stew in their own juices, something I love to see. Eventually, I hope they'll accept reality and move on.

In my experience, ignoring doesn't work. They tend to get even more toxic upon being ignored.

 

[sweep_shot]

Well if you already know the answer, why did you create this discussion post?

Wanted to see what other PPers think.

We are already seeing different views on this thread.

 

[sweep_shot]

It depends on what type of toxicity you are having to endure.

Most of the toxic stuff I've experienced is from relatives who are jealous of me and try to badmouth me at every opportunity.

To such people I rub in what a great life I'm having and keep bragging about my achievements. It makes them stew in their own juices, something I love to see. Eventually, I hope they'll accept reality and move on.

In my experience, ignoring doesn't work. They tend to get even more toxic upon being ignored.

Good for you. Glad that you came on top.

People who badmouth are big losers.

 

[andy0204]

I was very jealous about my friends and relatives accomplishments(still Iam but compared to now I calmed down) because I was unsuccessful at my profession it feeled me inferior and my parents used to praise them and tell me to learn from them but life has taught me a lot of things if I try to be bitter I will be alone and same thing happened I lost my friends and stopped talking to my relatives then I got into depression,I realised my mistake changed my college and tried to make new friends,I apologise to my close ones for being rude.

What I mean to say is toxicity comes from three things 1) You have achieved more than him
2) You got more love and support than him.
3) Based how they were treated.

 

[sweep_shot]

I was very jealous about my friends and relatives accomplishments(still Iam but compared to now I calmed down) because I was unsuccessful at my profession it feeled me inferior and my parents used to praise them and tell me to learn from them but life has taught me a lot of things if I try to be bitter I will be alone and same thing happened I lost my friends and stopped talking to my relatives then I got into depression,I realised my mistake changed my college and tried to make new friends,I apologise to my close ones for being rude.

What I mean to say is toxicity comes from three things 1) You have achieved more than him
2) You got more love and support than him.
3) Based how they were treated.

Good points.

I have a few toxic relatives. What I noticed was the toxic ones generally had troubled lives in the past. They try to overcompensate by being toxic. In a way, I feel pity for them.

These people can damage you mentally if you deal with them too much.

Good to see you apologized. Jealousy generally doesn't result in anything good.

 

[gazza619]

Once toxic, always toxic.

Keep your distance, dont cut them off though if you have the patience.

 

[Dulex9]

Read my past threads.

The reason they do it to me because they were, still are jealous, very insecure and bitter and used me as a scapegoat.

Just dont care and give no attention, do not communicate, be silent and keep your distance.

Achieve and live your life.

If they provoke have a dont care attitude.

 

[Technics 1210]

Be a man, and ignore them.

 

[Savak]

Pretty simple, either cut them out of your limit or severely limit your interactions with them.

 

[offstump]

I’ve dealt with many toxic relatives, some will stir things up behind the scenes like complaint to parents or over exaggerate things to make you look bad. Others will make sly comments about you or your kids in passing, just little things that cut hard and are intended to frustrate you so you get angry, blow up and then make yourself look bad in front of anyone.

What I’ve learned is that their own lives are not that great, most are unhappy and are seething internally when they see you living a happy life. Best thing to do, smile at them and say thanks whenever something happens. At first they’ll be flabbergasted at the response, then when you use it more it will make them angrier and angrier. You don’t want them to get to you, that’s their intention so don’t let them win. And don’t stoop down to their level it’s not worth it because you’ll end up losing.