I'd respectfully want to know of posters who have unfortunately lost one or both of your parents

[Hitman]

I'm a 30 year old man. I've always since my childhood dreaded of losing my parents. Unfortunately I still haven't been able to overcome that fear. My father will be turning 70 this year. Lately, I've regularly started having nightmares of losing my father. He is a heavy diabetic (has to shoot insulin twice a day), underwent by-pass surgery in 1995, had a massive stroke in 2012, has high blood pressure. You guys won't believe he spends around Rs. 25,000 every month on his medicines. Basically he is alive purely on medicines.

I don't know but I don't ever remember having nightmares about losing my mother or any other member of my family, it's just my father. It has been driving me nuts.

A lot of my friends have lost one or both of their parents, some even when they didn't pass school. I've seen them cope incredibly well and live a normal life after that. I don't even know whether I'll be alive if something happens to one or both of my parents. Death would be a better option for me than losing them.

Please don't mind, I'm not being disrespectful at all. I have my utmost sympathies for anyone here who have gone through it. May God bless you all and give you the strength to go further in life.

But what I want to know from such people is how painful it is and were you guys able to continue a normal life after such a shattering blow?

Once again, I intend no disrespect.


Thank You.

 

[Hitman]

But I'm really sorry if I've hurt people by making them remember of their painful past. Those were not my intentions.

 

[Major]

i think it all depends on the nature of death.

For example a person has some illness because of which he cant make it, you try to make yourself mentally prepared for it, plus enjoy every last minute you have with him.

My dad's death was just sudden. Came home from work alright and well, died in the morning due to heart failure. The whole thing was just unbelievable.

For a second i had the feeling that how are we going to go through this, and would life be normal and all.

The first year without my dad was tough, at night time we would spend alot of time with our relatives and all because the house felt weird after evening without him.

Anyways, i have learned that once you deal with your parents passing away, you become mentally very tough. You just accept any reality that life hits you with.

I remember how i was very sensitive and all before my dads death, but after his death my heart has become like a rock. Its like i dont even get hurt or offended.

I remember my uncle(mamoo) died just recently 3 months ago, his whole family died in a house fire with only one daughter being saved. I did not even cry once. I never understood why i couldn't cry, why i couldn't release tears.

I'm also a mama's boy, and i think if something ever happened to her i would be hysterical, as i have probably never lived without her for more then 3 days.

While i cried on the first day of my dads death, but the whole reaction of mine was just normal, as if i just accepted reality and dealt with it.

Though, its not like i dont miss him. I do miss him wanting to know his opinion on PTI, PPP, or get admiration from him for my every small achievement which he use to do alot.



just my 2 cents

 

[Hitman]

i think it all depends on the nature of death.

For example a person has some illness because of which he cant make it, you try to make yourself mentally prepared for it, plus enjoy every last minute you have with him.

My dad's death was just sudden. Came home from work alright and well, died in the morning due to heart failure. The whole thing was just unbelievable.

For a second i had the feeling that how are we going to go through this, and would life be normal and all.

The first year without my dad was tough, at night time we would spend alot of time with our relatives and all because the house felt weird after evening without him.

Anyways, i have learned that once you deal with your parents passing away, you become mentally very tough. You just accept any reality that life hits you with.

I remember how i was very sensitive and all before my dads death, but after his death my heart has become like a rock. Its like i dont even get hurt or offended.

I remember my uncle(mamoo) died just recently 3 months ago, his whole family died in a house fire with only one daughter being saved. I did not even cry once. I never understood why i couldn't cry, why i couldn't release tears.

I'm also a mama's boy, and i think if something ever happened to her i would be hysterical, as i have probably never lived without her for more then 3 days.

While i cried on the first day of my dads death, but the whole reaction of mine was just normal, as if i just accepted reality and dealt with it.

Though, its not like i dont miss him. I do miss him wanting to know his opinion on PTI, PPP, or get admiration from him for my every small achievement which he use to do alot.



just my 2 cents

This is absolutely terrible, horrendous. How old is their daughter and how is she coping?

 

[TahirFan]

Both my parents died when I was in my early 20's

 

[Major]

This is absolutely terrible, horrendous. How old is their daughter and how is she coping?

8 years old. lives in canada.

though she remembers her parents in different moments, but shes copes with it as everyone else keeps her busy and let her have fun, take her to birthday parties and enjoy life with her...

 

[Hitman]

Both my parents died when I was in my early 20's

So sorry to know of it, bro. Hope you are doing well after such a crippling tragedy. My best wises for you.

 

[Hitman]

8 years old. lives in canada.

though she remembers her parents in different moments, but shes copes with it as everyone else keeps her busy and let her have fun, take her to birthday parties and enjoy life with her...

Good to know.

No human being deserves such a cruel fate at such a young age. Almost makes me wanna cry. Whom does she live with now?

 

[Hitman]

Both my parents died when I was in my early 20's

Were you able to cope with it? I'm sorry if I've hurt you, bro. Those were not my intentions.

 

[TahirFan]

Were you able to cope with it? I'm sorry if I've hurt you, bro. Those were not my intentions.

My mother died first and months later my father passed away.

Within a space of 4 months I was without parents. I was unemployed at that time and I had to take care of 2 younger sisters and a younger brother. Yes I managed to cope with it but not without enormous pain , suffering and hardship

 

[Hitman]

My mother died first and months later my father passed away.

Within a space of 4 months I was without parents. I was unemployed at that time and I had to take care of 2 younger sisters and a younger brother. Yes I managed to cope with it but not without enormous pain , suffering and hardship

This is so tragic. You and your siblings deserved better. Hope you and your siblings are doing well. May Lord Jesus bless you all.

 

[Gubol123]

Losing parents is a fear that we all carry with us. We all know it is going to happen one day but none of us are ready when it happens. i lost my father when i was 13 and mother a year later. had a younger brother and sister and it was not easy to cope up with it. i was lucky and had my maternal uncle and aunt who filled the void. but it is not easy for all.

we are blessed with lossy memory.. everything fades over a period of time. you will still feel the pain but you will learn to live with it when it happens. Most importantly it builds character (i know it is a cliche, but believe me it does)

be strong and enjoy your precious time with your family

 

[Arham_PakFan]

My biggest fear in life is losing my parents.It increased a lot when my friend's mother was shot dead in a horrible incident.It made me think for a long time what I would do if such a thing happened to either of my parents.

 

[Zaz]

I lost my month 4 months back It was the toughest and most painful period in my life

It does feel like a part of me has died too, life isnt the same but you carry on Theres times you go about a normal life and theres other times where i think of her and get emotional

Its getting easier as time goes on although i still n always will miss her loads

 

[Screopho]

Lost my father when I was 19. It was the most difficult period of my life. I was in college far away from home, I worried about my mother and sister and couldn't grieve with them. It also made me very strong. I miss him the most when I am with my kids and think of all the things he could have taught them. He was Ph.D in physics and could explain it in the easy everyday phenomenon. He loved stargazing, carpentry and could fix pretty much any eletrical/electronic gadget that could be fixed. His memory is fading in my head and I have almost forgotten what he sounded like. Voice is the first thing we forget, then smell and then visual memory of a person.

 

[sjahmed23]

It is tough early, especially if you are young. I lost my dad when I was 15, I last saw him when I was 11. It was just shocking how quickly things happened, he had a stroke, spent a week in the hospital, had another stroke and done. Thinking back, there is deep regret if there was anything we could've done, but I guess that is how it was meant to be. That period in life has left scars, given how vulnerable we were, in a foreign country with no family members here it was even tougher. Just be thankful that you get to see your parents for as long as you can, everyone has to go, its part of life just like other things.

 

[Belawal2014]

As the clock struck 12, my mother gave me a hug and kisses over my face and wished my 'Happy Birthday'. As I embraced her I felt a feeling of contentment, fulfillment and security, that in this moment everything in the world is alright. Truth is, I don't know how I would feel if I lost my parents, I love them way too much (as we all do), though my only hope is that when their times comes, and I hope that is decades from today, that they don't suffer, and that it is quick and painless.

To all those in this thread who have lost a parent(s), my heartfelt condolences.

 

[Major]

as the clock struck 12, my mother gave me a hug and kisses over my face and wished my 'happy birthday'. as i embraced her i felt a feeling of contentment, fulfillment and security, that in this moment everything in the world is alright. Truth is, i don't know how i would feel if i lost my parents, i love them way too much (as we all do), though my only hope is that when their times comes, and i hope that is decades from today, that they don't suffer, and that it is quick and painless.

To all those in this thread who have lost a parent(s), my heartfelt condolences.

this!!!

Potw!

 

[Robert]

My father passed in 2014. My mother passed two months ago.

I am lucky to have had two good parents for a long time.

 

[Hitman]

My father passed in 2014. My mother passed two months ago.

I am lucky to have had two good parents for a long time.

Sorry to know that. Are you coping well?

 

[Slog]

how do people who are in different countries than their parents cope with this fear?