Income rules for foreign spouses upheld

[Adil_94]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39050664

I have a few family members who have been hurt by this law and have spouses in Pakistan waiting to come here for 2 or 3 years. Do you think this law is unfair and should be changed or is it a good thing as it will encourage more people to marry spouses brought up in the country and it will be better for the kids in the long run to have parents who know the U.K system a lot better.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39050664

I have a few family members who have been hurt by this law and have spouses in Pakistan waiting to come here for 2 or 3 years. Do you think this law is unfair and should be changed or is it a good thing as it will encourage more people to marry spouses brought up in the country and it will be better for the kids in the long run to have parents who know the U.K system a lot better.

I'm not a fan of bringing spouses from abroad so I think the law is better for British society as a whole, whether fair or not.

Incidentally, does this law apply to everyone? I see quite a few middle aged British gents walking around the supermarket with younger Fillipino wives in tow. They used to be known as catalogue brides, not sure if that's still applicable. I'm assuming it would apply to those guys as well.

 

[Bewal Express]

I think its a great law for a number of reasons. It forces people to educate their children so that they can get the higher skilled jobs and higher paid jobs. It stops 18 year olds getting married normally to cousins without getting a job. I would push up the minimum age to 23 before someone can bring a spouse over. Just as anecdote going a back few years, one of GSCE students didn't turn up for an exam and i rang in a panic thinking that they might not have got up. Her mum told me that she was 16 the day before and she would be on the plane later that day to get married the following week. She married her dads cousin and he was in his 30's.

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=48620]Cpt. Rishwat[/MENTION] well the law states that if you want a spouse from outside the EEA you have to earn 18,600 pounds a year. A middle class Brit who is possibly earning arounf 30-35k a year if not more can easily meet the criteria.

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=1269]Bewal Express[/MENTION] yes i agree it does stop a lot of the young teenage marriages as a lot girls especially now are allowed to go to University now before marriage is discussed. I have a friend who has been married for the last 5 years but his spouse is in Pakistan because he cant match the financial criteria of the govt and its just put his life on hold.

 

[Musakhel]

I think its a great law for a number of reasons. It forces people to educate their children so that they can get the higher skilled jobs and higher paid jobs. It stops 18 year olds getting married normally to cousins without getting a job. I would push up the minimum age to 23 before someone can bring a spouse over. Just as anecdote going a back few years, one of GSCE students didn't turn up for an exam and i rang in a panic thinking that they might not have got up. Her mum told me that she was 16 the day before and she would be on the plane later that day to get married the following week. She married her dads cousin and he was in his 30's.

People in Pakistan easily fake their age, a 17 yr old suddenly becomes a 21 yr old.

 

[Bewal Express]

People in Pakistan easily fake their age, a 17 yr old suddenly becomes a 21 yr old.

Sorry you misunderstood me, i meant UK citizens. The reality is that many people i know have faked incomes to get people over and when they get over, a year or so later they apply for a council house, which was the whole point of the law in the 1st place.

 

[TSA321]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39050664

I have a few family members who have been hurt by this law and have spouses in Pakistan waiting to come here for 2 or 3 years.

Are they British born? Why did they get married to people in Pakistan instead of UK?

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=135388]TSA321[/MENTION] yes they are Briish born because their parents wants to keep the rishta within the family. Also relatives from Pakistan asking for rishta to get one of their kids over so they can get a foothold in the U.K and get money sent back to them.

 

[Gabbar Singh]

£18,600 is not a massive amount of money in 2017 Britain - if you do not earn more than this how can you expect to support your wife/husband and any children that come along?

 

[shaz619]

I'm not a fan of bringing spouses from abroad so I think the law is better for British society as a whole, whether fair or not.

Incidentally, does this law apply to everyone? I see quite a few middle aged British gents walking around the supermarket with younger Fillipino wives in tow. They used to be known as catalogue brides, not sure if that's still applicable. I'm assuming it would apply to those guys as well.

Me lanlord is married to a woman from east asia, the fella is very wealthy as well

 

[shaz619]

[MENTION=48620]Cpt. Rishwat[/MENTION] well the law states that if you want a spouse from outside the EEA you have to earn 18,600 pounds a year. A middle class Brit who is possibly earning arounf 30-35k a year if not more can easily meet the criteria.

So if the husband is earning 18600 then his spouse can come over? or is there a requirement with regards to the spouse as well?

 

[Yossarian]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39050664

I have a few family members who have been hurt by this law and have spouses in Pakistan waiting to come here for 2 or 3 years. Do you think this law is unfair and should be changed or is it a good thing as it will encourage more people to marry spouses brought up in the country and it will be better for the kids in the long run to have parents who know the U.K system a lot better.

In other words, the UK partners in the marriage have the words "UK Visa" stamped on their foreheads. Had these marriages taken place in Pakistan, with both partners living in Pakistan, it is extremely unlikely that the bridegrooms would have left their homes to go and live in the homes of the brides and their families.

I believe that the UK immigration authorities should take these cultural norms into account when issuing visas to bridegrooms from Pakistan.

 

[Yossarian]

[MENTION=135388]TSA321[/MENTION] yes they are Briish born because their parents wants to keep the rishta within the family. Also relatives from Pakistan asking for rishta to get one of their kids over so they can get a foothold in the U.K and get money sent back to them.

In other words, it's not whether the couple are compatible or not, but the fact that the UK partner is a walking, talking British visa.

 

[TSA321]

http://www.economist.com/news/brita...ant-spouses-has-worked-cost-richer-not-poorer

 

[gkb101277867]

So if the husband is earning 18600 then his spouse can come over? or is there a requirement with regards to the spouse as well?

I'm pretty sure the spouse also had to pass some tests such as an English language test and also English culture tests or something like that. Not exactly sure exactly what they are though. Maybe someone who knows can let us know?

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=46929]shaz619[/MENTION] yeah the 18 600 requirement is only for the U.K Citizen who is bringing their spouse over. There isnt a requirement for the spouse they are bringing over to be working. But after 2 years i think they have to do an ESOL test and have to have a decent command of English. To get full citizenship after 5 years they have to do citizenship test and learn English and things about British culture.

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=4930]Yossarian[/MENTION] yes compatibility isnt taken into account its the red passport and U.K Visa that is the main thing. Ive had a distant cousin who was 17 and married off to a man in his 30s for this reason. A lot of the time is is greed that motivates these marriages from Pakistan.

 

[Bewal Express]

[MENTION=46929]shaz619[/MENTION] yeah the 18 600 requirement is only for the U.K Citizen who is bringing their spouse over. There isnt a requirement for the spouse they are bringing over to be working. But after 2 years i think they have to do an ESOL test and have to have a decent command of English. To get full citizenship after 5 years they have to do citizenship test and learn English and things about British culture.

The English test is another scam where people have been paid to sit it.

 

[Gabbar Singh]

I don't know how common it is but there is a way round this - it's called the Surinder Singh route, named after an historic court case. It involves leaving the UK and working in the EEA for about three months. Once you do that you can get your wife/husband over to that EEA country irrespective of what you earn and then move to Britain straight away.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23029195

 

[Gabbar Singh]

Thousands of people are faking living in Ireland to get family members into the UK, a BBC investigation has revealed.

The scam involves UK nationals who want to bring in close relatives from outside the European Economic Area.

Police said immigration advisers, lawyers and accountants were behind the multi-million pound fraud.

The UK government is warning it is a growing industry that exploits European free-movement rules.

The scam uses the so-called Surinder Singh route, named after a historical immigration court case.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38597384

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=7898]Gabbar Singh[/MENTION] lol a guy i used to work with was going to do one of those Ireland scams to get his wife over. I wonder how it went for him.

 

[shaz619]

[MENTION=7898]Gabbar Singh[/MENTION] lol a guy i used to work with was going to do one of those Ireland scams to get his wife over. I wonder how it went for him.

The 18600K is doable still, possible to work yourself into a position to get that wage. But those tests you mentioned before might be tough for the person who moves to the UK; but there could be an unlimited reassesment policy within a certain time frame.

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=46929]shaz619[/MENTION] well one of my cousins wife who did come over does english lessons at college and being around their nieces and nephews who all speak english and not potohari her english has improved a lot she could easily pass her test

 

[shaz619]

[MENTION=46929]shaz619[/MENTION] well one of my cousins wife who did come over does english lessons at college and being around their nieces and nephews who all speak english and not potohari her english has improved a lot she could easily pass her test

That's good, the citizenship one could be a little trickier; you have to know everything about the obnoxious Queen

 

[chacha kashmiri]

[MENTION=48620]Cpt. Rishwat[/MENTION] well the law states that if you want a spouse from outside the EEA you have to earn 18,600 pounds a year. A middle class Brit who is possibly earning arounf 30-35k a year if not more can easily meet the criteria.

That's the main problem
Most spouses won't be working at least straight away and anyone on 18k would have to be on tax and working tax credits to top themselves upto 30k

There are ways around this if you can prove slips and national insurance but it's still tough especially with children involved

Much easier marrying someone of the same profession and doubling the house income

 

[Musakhel]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38597384

There are always loopholes lol wonder how brexit will affect this?

 

[Gabbar Singh]

That's the main problem
Most spouses won't be working at least straight away and anyone on 18k would have to be on tax and working tax credits to top themselves upto 30k

There are ways around this if you can prove slips and national insurance but it's still tough especially with children involved

Much easier marrying someone of the same profession and doubling the house income

I suppose that's the whole point - someone earning less than 18k, with a wife and let's say a kid or 2, will not only be paying very little income tax (they'll pay 20% on earnings above the intitial tax free £11,000) but the state will top up their earnings through tax credits/benefits. The end result is that the family would become quite a burden on the taxpayer.

 

[Yossarian]

I suppose that's the whole point - someone earning less than 18k, with a wife and let's say a kid or 2, will not only be paying very little income tax (they'll pay 20% on earnings above the intitial tax free £11,000) but the state will top up their earnings through tax credits/benefits. The end result is that the family would become quite a burden on the taxpayer.

That's why the minimum requirement should be increased to £40,000 at least. Furthermore, tougher questions should be asked by Immigration as to why it's the foreign partner who's wants a visa to move to the UK, as opposed to the UK partner emigrating and moving to the non-UK partner's homeland.

 

[sjahmed23]

Immigration rules are going to tighten up in most western countries as immigration is on the top of right wing hitlist. In USA I know many people who are praying Pakistan does not go on trump's naughty list because they have spouses in Pakistan.

 

[Eagle_Eye]

If £18.6k is hard for you then it really begs the question as to why do you want to marry in the first place and secondly to a person from another country that will be totally dependent on you...

 

[Eagle_Eye]

That's why the minimum requirement should be increased to £40,000 at least. Furthermore, tougher questions should be asked by Immigration as to why it's the foreign partner who's wants a visa to move to the UK, as opposed to the UK partner emigrating and moving to the non-UK partner's homeland.

Very southern centric view... there is a considerable disparity in pay between south and north... last thing you want to do is rile up the northerners in the current post brexit and post truth World..... imagine the slogan ...if you want to bring a spouse, move south.

 

[Yossarian]

Very southern centric view... there is a considerable disparity in pay between south and north... last thing you want to do is rile up the northerners in the current post brexit and post truth World..... imagine the slogan ...if you want to bring a spouse, move south.

The current figure of £18,600 means that the disparity already exists. So whether it's £18,600 or £40,000, it's simply a matter of degree. Besides, this figure should be in conjunction with proof of stable, self-sufficient (ie without state help/benefits) long term accomodation large enough to accomodate the couple/whole family - which will be much more expensive in the South than in the North, thereby bringing an element of parity.

As for riling up northerners, quite the opposite in fact. In the post Brexit world I cannot imagine many northerners going up in arms complaining about the government making it more difficult to bring in immigrants into the country!

 

[Adil_94]

[MENTION=44089]Eagle_Eye[/MENTION] People might not "want" to marry but they are fulfilling a duty to their family and also if you are earning less than 18k it will be hard to find a spouse from the U.K especially in Desi communities as the in laws will demand you be earning enough for a comfortable lifestyle for their daughter. So a lot turn to marrying someone from the Village back home because their requirements are a lot less they just want a red passport.

 

[Eagle_Eye]

[MENTION=44089]Eagle_Eye[/MENTION] People might not "want" to marry but they are fulfilling a duty to their family and also if you are earning less than 18k it will be hard to find a spouse from the U.K especially in Desi communities as the in laws will demand you be earning enough for a comfortable lifestyle for their daughter. So a lot turn to marrying someone from the Village back home because their requirements are a lot less they just want a red passport.

If you are earning that sort of money then rather than marriage you really ought to re-train and find a more rewarding profession. Think about the kids and the lifestyle you can give them.

I take your point about difficulty in getting married in uk with that amount in arranged marriage route.

 

[Eagle_Eye]

The current figure of £18,600 means that the disparity already exists. So whether it's £18,600 or £40,000, it's simply a matter of degree. Besides, this figure should be in conjunction with proof of stable, self-sufficient (ie without state help/benefits) long term accomodation large enough to accomodate the couple/whole family - which will be much more expensive in the South than in the North, thereby bringing an element of parity.

As for riling up northerners, quite the opposite in fact. In the post Brexit world I cannot imagine many northerners going up in arms complaining about the government making it more difficult to bring in immigrants into the country!

You make an assumption about immigrants linked to white people...

I just flew back from Malaysia earlier today, and there were quite a few white men with south east partners and kids at the immigration line. It's not an uncommon as you think. My wife's friend is married to a Frenchman she met volunteering abroad. He moved to uk after they she came back, had a lot of trouble getting decent job as English wasn't very good and so she is the main bread winner as a teacher. Going forward, Under the 40k limit, someone like her would not have been able to bring her partner to UK. It was easy for the French guy to move to uk, but pretty soon it will not be.

 

[Yossarian]

You make an assumption about immigrants linked to white people...

I just flew back from Malaysia earlier today, and there were quite a few white men with south east partners and kids at the immigration line. It's not an uncommon as you think. My wife's friend is married to a Frenchman she met volunteering abroad. He moved to uk after they she came back, had a lot of trouble getting decent job as English wasn't very good and so she is the main bread winner as a teacher. Going forward, Under the 40k limit, someone like her would not have been able to bring her partner to UK. It was easy for the French guy to move to uk, but pretty soon it will not be.

No matter how one looks at it, in the current Brexit climate, making it easier to bring in more immigrants, albeit as spouses, is not a vote winner. Whilst making it more difficult would be. Furthermore, whilst the numbers involved in the types of examples you are referring to are negligible in the overall scheme of things, since the majority of spouse visas are for immigrants from the non-white Commonwealth countries (mainly India, Pakistan, Bangladesh) the political damage for those easing the restrictions, and the political capital that will be gained by their opponents, would be enormous in comparison.

My wife's friend is married to a Frenchman she met volunteering abroad. He moved to uk after they she came back, had a lot of trouble getting decent job as English wasn't very good and so she is the main bread winner as a teacher.

Why would she have needed a visa for a Frenchman, as he's an EU citizen? Even after Brexit has taken place, I'm betting the rules will still be less stringent for the likes of the French, Germans etc, as compared with those from elsewhere.

 

[KingKhanWC]

I don't agree with this limit or restriction.

The average income in the UK is nearly £10,000 higher but many people don't earn this much. I know a girl who got married from Pakistan, she is a hard working person who just wants to raise a family. She went to Pakistan on holiday , met a guy and married a year later. This marriage has nothing to do with anyone wanting a passport, the wife just wants her husband to be with her but in order to achieve this , she is working two jobs because she isn't a professional. I'm sure her husband will come over eventually but is there such a need to put a law abiding citizen through so much stress and hardship?

 

[Yossarian]

I don't agree with this limit or restriction.

The average income in the UK is nearly £10,000 higher but many people don't earn this much. I know a girl who got married from Pakistan, she is a hard working person who just wants to raise a family. She went to Pakistan on holiday , met a guy and married a year later. This marriage has nothing to do with anyone wanting a passport, the wife just wants her husband to be with her but in order to achieve this , she is working two jobs because she isn't a professional. I'm sure her husband will come over eventually but is there such a need to put a law abiding citizen through so much stress and hardship?

So if she just wants to be with her husband, why doesn't she go and live in Pakistan with him instead of him going through all the hassle of coming to the UK? After all, in the Pakistani culture, it's the wife that goes to live in the home of the husband and/or his family, and not the husband coming to live in her and/or her family's home.

The same Pakistanis who, if they were still living in Pakistan, would never consider having their new son-in-law moving into their house after marriage, are quite happy to do so after moving to the UK, even if the new son-in-law (and his family's) prime reason for the marriage taking place was the "UK visa" tattooed on their daughters forehead.

 

[KingKhanWC]

So if she just wants to be with her husband, why doesn't she go and live in Pakistan with him instead of him going through all the hassle of coming to the UK? After all, in the Pakistani culture, it's the wife that goes to live in the home of the husband and/or his family, and not the husband coming to live in her and/or her family's home.

The same Pakistanis who, if they were still living in Pakistan, would never consider having their new son-in-law moving into their house after marriage, are quite happy to do so after moving to the UK, even if the new son-in-law (and his family's) prime reason for the marriage taking place was the "UK visa" tattooed on their daughters forehead.

I did ask her this exact question to which her reply was along the lines of ... She doesn't have any issue living in Pakistan if it means to be with her husband but she he doesn't earn much over there and neither will she. She said if she's going to have kids surely she would think of their future too? Even if the couple can struggle for themselves but when they have children, those children won't receive better education in Pakistan amongst many other benefits of living in the UK. I think this was a fair response.

 

[Pakistanian]

That isn't a lot of money, honestly if you don't make at least $50,000-60,000 a year then you shouldn't even think of marriage, chase success and the women will follow latter.

 

[KingKhanWC]

That isn't a lot of money, honestly if you don't make at least $50,000-60,000 a year then you shouldn't even think of marriage, chase success and the women will follow latter.

So poor people or working class people should never get married? lol

 

[shaz619]

So poor people or working class people should never get married? lol

lol me relative while he was on a salary of peanuts did not think like that, he got married had 4 beautiful children and in the background continued to work hard had a couple of more bache all while saving what he had, never taking a day off and often would cry every night when things were really tough but he kept at it and finally managed to convince the banks to give him a loan; it lead to him opening a business which became incredibly successful.

He had his demons to in his younger days but overcame them and now honestly he is the kindest man I know, there is not a soul he ever says no to even when he had nothing he'd do all he can to help people his heart was too big and often it would get taken advantage off but he always did the right thing. At times I find myself guilty of oh let x,y,z happen then I will do this or that, but I got to say these men of yesteryear were so damn tough and put it all on the line to make everything work.

I find him so inspiring, the morale of the story is definitely do things within your means but don't be superficial, be a MARD

 

[Pakistanian]

So poor people or working class people should never get married? lol

Well that was ignorant of me but I'm speaking from the perspective of the community where I live, I mean most of the people on this forum have some college education and aren't working class, so I assume those goals are easy to achieve. It'd actually be cheaper for working class people to marry somebody in the same area they live in rather then spending thousands of dollars traveling to Pakistan, funding a wedding and then shelling another few grand to transport their spouse here.

 

[Bewal Express]

Well that was ignorant of me but I'm speaking from the perspective of the community where I live, I mean most of the people on this forum have some college education and aren't working class, so I assume those goals are easy to achieve. It'd actually be cheaper for working class people to marry somebody in the same area they live in rather then spending thousands of dollars traveling to Pakistan, funding a wedding and then shelling another few grand to transport their spouse here.

That would normally be the case but if you knew the way our families work and the promises that have been made to brothers, sisters and cousins to get their children to the UK, then you know that this is the most important issue for most PK 's in the UK. Forget about the NHS or Brexit, this is the issue most talked about in mehfils.

 

[KingKhanWC]

lol me relative while he was on a salary of peanuts did not think like that, he got married had 4 beautiful children and in the background continued to work hard had a couple of more bache all while saving what he had, never taking a day off and often would cry every night when things were really tough but he kept at it and finally managed to convince the banks to give him a loan; it lead to him opening a business which became incredibly successful.

He had his demons to in his younger days but overcame them and now honestly he is the kindest man I know, there is not a soul he ever says no to even when he had nothing he'd do all he can to help people his heart was too big and often it would get taken advantage off but he always did the right thing. At times I find myself guilty of oh let x,y,z happen then I will do this or that, but I got to say these men of yesteryear were so damn tough and put it all on the line to make everything work.

I find him so inspiring, the morale of the story is definitely do things within your means but don't be superficial, be a MARD

It's easy for many of us to think the people who work in lower skilled jobs or don't have flashy cars are in this situation because of being lazy, selfish or not being hard working people but from my experience many did not have the opportunities to become wealthy with a great job, they can only start with what they have and it's not a silver spoon for them. Your story shows a man who didn't have the means but still got married, had a family , it prob gave him more focus and determination to do better so in future his children will do better.

I think marriage for many can do wonders for some people, change their outlook on life and give them a sense of purpose. Now imagine if someone has found themselves in a family who has given them little education, they have a factory job and they aren't the best looking person. An arranged marriage even from Pakistan may give the confidence and will do change their lives. I think it's very risky when a society puts restrictions on marriage esp in a society where the family structure is becoming ever more broken.

 

[Pakistanian]

It's easy for many of us to think the people who work in lower skilled jobs or don't have flashy cars are in this situation because of being lazy, selfish or not being hard working people but from my experience many did not have the opportunities to become wealthy with a great job, they can only start with what they have and it's not a silver spoon for them. Your story shows a man who didn't have the means but still got married, had a family , it prob gave him more focus and determination to do better so in future his children will do better.

I think marriage for many can do wonders for some people, change their outlook on life and give them a sense of purpose. Now imagine if someone has found themselves in a family who has given them little education, they have a factory job and they aren't the best looking person. An arranged marriage even from Pakistan may give the confidence and will do change their lives. I think it's very risky when a society puts restrictions on marriage esp in a society where the family structure is becoming ever more broken.

I see your PoV, it makes more sense now.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Well that was ignorant of me but I'm speaking from the perspective of the community where I live, I mean most of the people on this forum have some college education and aren't working class, so I assume those goals are easy to achieve. It'd actually be cheaper for working class people to marry somebody in the same area they live in rather then spending thousands of dollars traveling to Pakistan, funding a wedding and then shelling another few grand to transport their spouse here.

I understand your points and agree in personal terms but I wouldn't like to advise others on how they should live their lives. If a person wants to get married to their cousin from Pakistan because they want more of their extended family to be in the west for financial reasons, it may be dubious to us but it's their free right to do as they wish. Over time these cultural practices will die out but this law/restriction hasn't really made any difference. The stats should thousands are still getting married abroad.

 

[Bewal Express]

A simple way to improve the educational standards in our communities is for the govt to insist on degree from anyone hoping to bring over a spouse. You would see parents turning up to parents evening, caring for their education and giving the children and schools the support they need to be successful. I saw more PK parents come to school for free butter( it was some sort of free govt/EU promotion) than i have ever seen on parents evening.

 

[KingKhanWC]

A simple way to improve the educational standards in our communities is for the govt to insist on degree from anyone hoping to bring over a spouse. You would see parents turning up to parents evening, caring for their education and giving the children and schools the support they need to be successful. I saw more PK parents come to school for free butter( it was some sort of free govt/EU promotion) than i have ever seen on parents evening.

I assume you then believe everyone has the ability to gain a degree?

 

[Bewal Express]

I assume you then believe everyone has the ability to gain a degree?

I am an optimist.

 

[shaz619]

It's easy for many of us to think the people who work in lower skilled jobs or don't have flashy cars are in this situation because of being lazy, selfish or not being hard working people but from my experience many did not have the opportunities to become wealthy with a great job, they can only start with what they have and it's not a silver spoon for them. Your story shows a man who didn't have the means but still got married, had a family , it prob gave him more focus and determination to do better so in future his children will do better.

I think marriage for many can do wonders for some people, change their outlook on life and give them a sense of purpose. Now imagine if someone has found themselves in a family who has given them little education, they have a factory job and they aren't the best looking person. An arranged marriage even from Pakistan may give the confidence and will do change their lives. I think it's very risky when a society puts restrictions on marriage esp in a society where the family structure is becoming ever more broken.

Good post, it would be silly to put restrictions on marriage; in fact many of these tough people are examples that do not abide to the modern superficiality's. Personally am afraid of taking that step given me own journey but am starting to be more open to the idea of shaddi in the near future instead of waiting to find me self in a really good position, because in the end issues will always be there but you work with them as you move forward and multi-task but each to their own, I get the other side to an extent but don't agree with the restrictions

 

[Yossarian]

That would normally be the case but if you knew the way our families work and the promises that have been made to brothers, sisters and cousins to get their children to the UK, then you know that this is the most important issue for most PK 's in the UK. Forget about the NHS or Brexit, this is the issue most talked about in mehfils.

And this is precisely why the government should make it as difficult as possible for these types of people to use their children as walking talking UK visas.

I am totally disgusted with those desi parents who's primary reason for marrying their own child to their brother's/sister's daughter/son etc. is so as to please their own brother/sister etc, as opposed to doing what is best for their own child.

Now it could well be that the same potential partner for their child is still the best choice for their child's happiness, but I'm referring to what came first in the mind of the parents, the fact that the potential partner of their child was the son/daughter of their own brother/sister, or whether it was the fact that she/he was best partner for their son/daughter. A subtle but important difference.

And I've not been afraid to make these views clear whenever I'm in the company of desis and these topics crop up. I've been expressing these views openly since I was a teenager, including amongst my parents friends in the community we lived. Even to 'community elders'.

It all started when some family friends decided to marry their daughter to a cousin from Pakistan and she didn't wish to get married, not because she disliked him, but because she wanted to go to uni and do a degree before thinking about marriage, whilst the boys parents (her uncle) wanted to get their son across to the UK before another aunt persuaded her parents to choose the aunt's son instead (who was slightly older and more educated).

Sure I get a lot of cr*p for it, but my simple retort is always, "what's more important to you, your child or your brother/sister? If you were forced to choose between your child or your brother/sister, who would you choose?"

One time, when I was around 20 or so, there was a function at a family friends house and the same topic came up, and I asked the same question. One guy replied "I can create another child, but I can't get another brother", to which I retorted "sure you can, just ask your father to get married again to a younger wife" (He was around 40, his father was in his early 60's, and his mother was in her late 50's). When the guy started verbally abusing me, I was ready to beat the hell out of him until my father intervened and asked him to get out. My father was angry with me for my retort to him, but my father generally agreed with my views.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Good post, it would be silly to put restrictions on marriage; in fact many of these tough people are examples that do not abide to the modern superficiality's. Personally am afraid of taking that step given me own journey but am starting to be more open to the idea of shaddi in the near future instead of waiting to find me self in a really good position, because in the end issues will always be there but you work with them as you move forward and multi-task but each to their own, I get the other side to an extent but don't agree with the restrictions

Marriage is a very personal issue , for some it's great , for others it's not. I think people are being slightly one eyed in seeing this issue, not everyone has the freedom or want to try out different partners. I just don't like to judge on arranged marriage or people personal issues as we don't know their circumstances. It's good you are open to the idea of shaadi, it can be a distraction but also can be stability. Just make sure she can handle sitting watching hours of wwe, cricket, boxing an tv shows lol.

 

[Gabbar Singh]

Election 2017: Labour to scrap minimum income rule for foreign spouses

The party's leaked draft manifesto pledges to scrap the controversial threshold

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.in...reshold-visa-immigration-uk-a7729846.html?amp

The next Tory Government would hike the controversial minimum income requirement already attacked as “particularly harsh” by Supreme Court justices.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...ation-foreign-spouses-threshold-a7742791.html

 

[Markhor]

And this is precisely why the government should make it as difficult as possible for these types of people to use their children as walking talking UK visas.

I am totally disgusted with those desi parents who's primary reason for marrying their own child to their brother's/sister's daughter/son etc. is so as to please their own brother/sister etc, as opposed to doing what is best for their own child.

Now it could well be that the same potential partner for their child is still the best choice for their child's happiness, but I'm referring to what came first in the mind of the parents, the fact that the potential partner of their child was the son/daughter of their own brother/sister, or whether it was the fact that she/he was best partner for their son/daughter. A subtle but important difference.

And I've not been afraid to make these views clear whenever I'm in the company of desis and these topics crop up. I've been expressing these views openly since I was a teenager, including amongst my parents friends in the community we lived. Even to 'community elders'.

It all started when some family friends decided to marry their daughter to a cousin from Pakistan and she didn't wish to get married, not because she disliked him, but because she wanted to go to uni and do a degree before thinking about marriage, whilst the boys parents (her uncle) wanted to get their son across to the UK before another aunt persuaded her parents to choose the aunt's son instead (who was slightly older and more educated).

Sure I get a lot of cr*p for it, but my simple retort is always, "what's more important to you, your child or your brother/sister? If you were forced to choose between your child or your brother/sister, who would you choose?"

One time, when I was around 20 or so, there was a function at a family friends house and the same topic came up, and I asked the same question. One guy replied "I can create another child, but I can't get another brother", to which I retorted "sure you can, just ask your father to get married again to a younger wife" (He was around 40, his father was in his early 60's, and his mother was in her late 50's). When the guy started verbally abusing me, I was ready to beat the hell out of him until my father intervened and asked him to get out. My father was angry with me for my retort to him, but my father generally agreed with my views.

How have I missed this post. Brilliant comments, agreed on all fronts.