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'Smile with us, dream with us' - Australian cricket reaches a new level of cringe

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Australian cricket reaches a new level of cringe

WE THOUGHT Australian cricket had hit peak cringe when Tim Paine revealed a “corny” players’ pact, but how wrong we all were.

IF YOU thought the players’ pact unveiled by Tim Paine and Josh Hazlewood a few days ago was as cringe-worthy as it gets for the Australian cricket team — you’re wrong.

After a scathing report into the state of Australian cricket revealed disturbing cultural problems at the highest level — laid bare after the ball tampering scandal in South Africa — Paine and Co. committed to turning over a new leaf.

The players’ pact asked the Aussie public to “compete with us, smile with us, fight with us” and “dream with us”. At the same time, it also invited the rest of the world to “laugh at us”.

Former England captain Michael Vaughan was only too happy to oblige, describing the pact as “cringe-worthy” and a “load of B”.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Aussie cultural review is cringeworthy ... ‘Smile with us , Dream with us ‘ !!!!!! What a load of B ......... !! Just play good,hard,fair cricket & win a few games is all that’s required ... !!</p>— Michael Vaughan (@MichaelVaughan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MichaelVaughan/status/1056828432670248961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Ex-Australian all-rounder Andrew Symonds said it was “a bit corny” and reeked of PR spin. And if he thought that was bad, what until he sees the sight that will greet the current crop when they walk into the changeroom at Perth’s Optus Stadium tomorrow for the first of three ODIs against South Africa.

Photos emerged of the inner sanctum and among the heavy splashes of gold are slogans that would have prompted even more ridicule had they been included in the players’ pact.

Phrases like “Make Australia proud” and “We are Australia’s cricket team” are plastered on the walls. But our favourite, hands down, is “Elite honesty”.

We’re not entirely sure how elite honesty differs from regular honesty, and neither is the Twittersphere. Cricket writers collectively shook their heads in disbelief at the latest effort by those in charge to make us forget seven months ago the Aussies were being condemned as a bunch of cheats and liars.

Who knew it would only take some elite honesty to get the public back on board.

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A couple of English cricket scribes also sunk the boot in, adding another layer to the humiliation, while former Aussie star Dean Jones joined the chorus of exasperation.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">What’s elite honesty? Just do the right thing I reckon? These buzz words are over the top... just do the right thing! Not hard . <a href="https://t.co/28fs3dn6Ub">https://t.co/28fs3dn6Ub</a></p>— Dean Jones (@ProfDeano) <a href="https://twitter.com/ProfDeano/status/1058276658086465536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 2, 2018</a></blockquote>
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New Australia vice-captain Alex Carey says it’s time for the team’s batsmen to pull their weight, starting from Sunday.

Australia is the most decorated team in one-day cricket, but it is in the midst of a crippling rut that has seen it lose 16 of its past 18 completed ODI games.

Batting collapses have been a key feature of the losing run, and the issue has also become a problem in the Test and T20 arena. Carey said it was time for the team’s batsmen to fire.

“We know how good the bowlers are,” Carey said. “It is now time for our batters to stand up and chase what’s set, or put a good total on the board.

“We know that. We’re not shying away from that. We know we have to stand up in key moments.

“Chris Lynn said it really well — play fearless cricket, not reckless cricket.

“We know the power some guys have, but try to show that power more in the 45th, later in the game.

“We’ve had some really honest sessions. Hopefully that hard work will pay off over the next few days.”

Sunday’s series-opener at Perth’s Optus Stadium comes amid a backdrop of off-field dramas. Cricket Australia chairman David Peever quit this week in the wake of the damning review into Australian cricket, with the effects of the ball-tampering scandal still being heavily felt.

But Carey, who has played just three ODIs, said he hadn’t been affected by the dramas.

“I’m so excited to get out there and play an exciting brand of cricket and play with a big smile on my face,” he said.

“It’s not every day you get to represent your country.

“It’s a really exciting period, and hopefully the success comes. The guys are really confident.”

https://www.news.com.au/sport/crick...e/news-story/ba6d5c76fa66deebb711a721bbc4f822
 
What the heck is "elite honesty" ?

The Australian self-flagellation since Newlands is getting too much now.
 
Great nation.

Takes their sport too seriously and cannot tolerate any do numbri. Serious respect for the integrity.

And, I really want them to continue playing HARD. Please, Sledge the HECK out of opposition -- that's the beauty of AUS team.

It can be done without talking about someone's race or religion. As long that's out, you can sledge all you want.

RATTLE the opposition! Love their brand of cricket.
 
Great nation.

Takes their sport too seriously and cannot tolerate any do numbri. Serious respect for the integrity.

And, I really want them to continue playing HARD. Please, Sledge the HECK out of opposition -- that's the beauty of AUS team.

It can be done without talking about someone's race or religion. As long that's out, you can sledge all you want.

RATTLE the opposition! Love their brand of cricket.

they lost by 370 ish runs ,..and the rest of their record in Asia is also quite poor despite playing a lot in Asia.Sledge all you want but win something with this Elite Honesty.
 
Goes to show just how much Australian cricket is down in the dumps.

Its cringe but Aussies aren't bad people, they feel embarrased by recent events and good on them for trying to change their culture on the cricket field.

Everyone wants a strong Aus team...apart from India this year.
 
That ball tampering scandal has real hurt the pride of the Australians. Should concentrate on just playing cricket and avoid sledging. That will help more than these boards.
 
This is seriously worrisome. It will be very sad to see the end of the traditional Australian Brand of cricket.
 
And on the other hand we have #ChhodnaMat. Btw maan ki Symonds in the news a lot of late. Got a new book coming out?
 
That ball tampering scandal has real hurt the pride of the Australians. Should concentrate on just playing cricket and avoid sledging. That will help more than these boards.

It is all a bit cringe.

I do wish they could have just said- the bans are in place and will stand to set an example and end this chapter.

Get on with playing cricket. Win. Don't cheat. Before you hurl abuse, remember your family and there's are watching. Get them out instead. At some stage you'll get angry or frustrated and forget all that and go to far. When that happens, it's on the skipper to pull your head in. Go win some cricket games.
 
It is all a bit cringe.

I do wish they could have just said- the bans are in place and will stand to set an example and end this chapter.

Get on with playing cricket. Win. Don't cheat. Before you hurl abuse, remember your family and there's are watching. Get them out instead. At some stage you'll get angry or frustrated and forget all that and go to far. When that happens, it's on the skipper to pull your head in. Go win some cricket games.

What are your thoughts on the upcoming series v India? In the past Aussies have been very vocal, aggressive against the Indians, more than they have against England at times. Are we going to see a more laid back, friendly and non-aggressive Aussie team?
 
How hard is it to play normally without being an a*****!!. After the ball tampering, everything has become so artificial for Aus. The torchlight bearer for that was Tim Paine with his fake humility and honesty.
 
Play hard, play fair and sledge the hell out of the opposition. People come to watch competitive cricket not some peace loving saga.
 
To be honest, these slogans sounds like something you would see in a women's locker room 20 years ago. Because women today are rightly seen as strong competitive athletes.

"Smile with us" :)))
 
How long before they abandon their canary yellow and go for a baby pink kit, and ***** hats for baggy green? Would be in fitness of things.
 
What are your thoughts on the upcoming series v India? In the past Aussies have been very vocal, aggressive against the Indians, more than they have against England at times. Are we going to see a more laid back, friendly and non-aggressive Aussie team?

I wouldn't expect laid back and friendly.

I'll expect the odd smile and the odd snarl. Hazlewood is usually a but grumpy. Starc might remind that a 150k bumper feels pretty different flying off an Oz deck doesn't it?

But it won't be a sustained or ugly hostility verbally. You won't see a return to the Ponting/Monkeygate era animosity.

I'd be surprised if India don't come at Australia hard verbally actually- simply in an attempt to rattle or test out this "new Australia".

As for the series- India now have the quicks to take 20 wickets in Australia regularly. Especially against this weak batting unit we have. The key will be if Ashwin, Jadeja or Kuldeep, whichever spinner they select, can perform as well. If Oz can take the spinner apart they'll have a route to winning.

I'd expect our batting at home to produce enough scores to win two matches. I also expect them to collapse in a heap in at least two innings. Whether/how we dig ourselves out of that or if India can finish the job or our bowlers are good enough to win a low scoring match somewhere will decide the series.

First Test will be so crucial... Advantage from an Adelaide under lights shootout, with the chance for swing at night and clear sky batting during the day can really go either way.
 
How hard is it to play normally without being an a*****!!. After the ball tampering, everything has become so artificial for Aus. The torchlight bearer for that was Tim Paine with his fake humility and honesty.


Fake?
Half the reason he wasn't picked in the past was he was seen as too humble & polite. They wanted a badger like Wade in there... He's been the same nice, quietly spoken person throughout his career. I know people who overlapped some of his time at the Cricket Academy. He's genuine.
 
How long before they abandon their canary yellow and go for a baby pink kit, and ***** hats for baggy green? Would be in fitness of things.

I predict with 100% certainty that Oz will be in bright pink by Day 3 of the Sydney Test.
 
First Test will be so crucial... Advantage from an Adelaide under lights shootout, with the chance for swing at night and clear sky batting during the day can really go either way.

The test in Adelaide is a regular red-ball affair. The BCCI refused to play a test under lights.
 
The test in Adelaide is a regular red-ball affair. The BCCI refused to play a test under lights.

Really? That's such a shame. The night test is a great occasion, I think the players and Indian fans would have loved the spectacle. Day tests in Adelaide can be slower, more grinding affairs.

TO be in Test cricket it should be assumed that every country has the chance to play and practice under lights. Home nation should be able to set the schedule, as long as a practice match under lights/pink ball is provided.
 
Really? That's such a shame. The night test is a great occasion, I think the players and Indian fans would have loved the spectacle. Day tests in Adelaide can be slower, more grinding affairs.

TO be in Test cricket it should be assumed that every country has the chance to play and practice under lights. Home nation should be able to set the schedule, as long as a practice match under lights/pink ball is provided.

Yes, unless you're playing India, who can bully you any which way they desire. I wouldn't be surprised if they outrightly start dictating the nature of pitches on overseas tours in the future.
 
It really says to their moral standards how a case of ball tampering has embarassed them to the core and they are doing so much to rectify it and not simply brush it under the carpet. They seem deeply humiliated.

And here forget rampant corruption in cricket, we have people who do all sorts of immoral things and do numbri which cost people’s lives and they aren’t least bothered
 
Australia trying to remodel themselves into acchay bachay :misbah3
 
No need of all this. Aus cricket is good with their aggression and sledging without that they will be similar to eng or south african side. Cricket is already dying and Australia must get back to their best if we have to save cricket.
 
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">‘Dream with us,Smile with us’ !!! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AUSvSA?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AUSvSA</a></p>— Michael Vaughan (@MichaelVaughan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MichaelVaughan/status/1058993754424664064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Australian cricket's new buzz words make Shane Warne 'want to vomit'

Test cricket great Shane Warne says Australia’s new buzz words are nothing more than “verbal diarrhoea”, saying the team should be focused on action rather than talk.

Fans were quick to poke fun of the “elite honesty” phrase plastered earlier this week in Australia’s change rooms, while the new players’ pact was also criticised for being too fluffy and cringe worthy.

Warne let his frustrations flow while watching Australia’s horrible display against South Africa in Sunday’s ODI in Perth.

“Forget all the words, forget the verbal diarrhoea and all that sort of stuff,” Warne said during his Foxtel commentary. “That’s just rubbish, that sort of stuff. Seriously, it makes you want to vomit.

“At the end of the day, cricket is a simple game and it’s a performance-based game. You’ve got to perform on the field. All these words and everything – it’s all about actions. And I think it’s got to be the basics.”

Warne said it was important for new ODI captain Aaron Finch and vice-captain Alex Carey to inspire the team.

“JL [coach Justin Langer] is there to help prepare the players. The captain and vice-captain get out and say this is the way we’re going to play,” Warne said. “But if the leaders of the team aren’t performing and they’re not setting a good example, that won’t create inspiration from within. It’s as simple as that.

“Nothing you can write in a 200-page document [will change that], and you have sports science and high performance and all that ridiculous stuff. You can’t forget what Australians are, their DNA, and that is hard, aggressive and positive cricket. And then play fairly.”

https://amp.theguardian.com/sport/2...new-buzz-words-make-shane-warne-want-to-vomit
 
Lool what's so surprising? Australian aggression has always been cringey and corny, nobody actually thinks they're all tough cause they can cuss.
 
I wouldn't expect laid back and friendly.

I'll expect the odd smile and the odd snarl. Hazlewood is usually a but grumpy. Starc might remind that a 150k bumper feels pretty different flying off an Oz deck doesn't it?

But it won't be a sustained or ugly hostility verbally. You won't see a return to the Ponting/Monkeygate era animosity.

I'd be surprised if India don't come at Australia hard verbally actually- simply in an attempt to rattle or test out this "new Australia".

As for the series- India now have the quicks to take 20 wickets in Australia regularly. Especially against this weak batting unit we have. The key will be if Ashwin, Jadeja or Kuldeep, whichever spinner they select, can perform as well. If Oz can take the spinner apart they'll have a route to winning.

I'd expect our batting at home to produce enough scores to win two matches. I also expect them to collapse in a heap in at least two innings. Whether/how we dig ourselves out of that or if India can finish the job or our bowlers are good enough to win a low scoring match somewhere will decide the series.

First Test will be so crucial... Advantage from an Adelaide under lights shootout, with the chance for swing at night and clear sky batting during the day can really go either way.

Thanks, fair assessment. Imo this is India's best chance in a while to win a series in Aus but this doesn't mean Aus will be a pushover at home. Should be a great watch.
 
I think they should also have a cute panda or rabbit as the team logo...they could click pics cuddling it wearing big smiles...it's been almost an year of ball tampering incident and they are still struggling with way forward...I have started feeling that Australians are genuinely incompetent when it comes to manouvering through confusing times, they just can't take decisions.
 
Poor Aussies, confused as what to do and what not, what to say and what not, how to play and how not, who to appoint and who not.

Not an ideal situation 6 months before the WC.

Embarrassing themselves on and off the field.

All these means nothing. I wish, they comeback strong at least by the WC.

Warner
Finch *
Smith
Marsh.S
Head
Marsh.M
Carey +
Starc
Zampa
Cummins
Hazelwood
 
After all the cheating and hostility in the RSA series the Aussie board want their team to be complete angels:facepalm: All they need to do is tone down on the aggression and respect the opposition much more, that's all.
 
Aussies have gone overboard. There is no need for this cringe-worthy rebranding, they can start by just not cursing/sledging everyone whenever they get the chance, which feels like something that's engrained in their DNA so ultimately, this is all pointless.
 
Really? That's such a shame. The night test is a great occasion, I think the players and Indian fans would have loved the spectacle. Day tests in Adelaide can be slower, more grinding affairs.

TO be in Test cricket it should be assumed that every country has the chance to play and practice under lights. Home nation should be able to set the schedule, as long as a practice match under lights/pink ball is provided.

Perhaps the BCCI fears that sandpaper cannot be easily picked up by TV cameras under lights!
 
Yes, unless you're playing India, who can bully you any which way they desire. I wouldn't be surprised if they outrightly start dictating the nature of pitches on overseas tours in the future.

Why is CA getting bullied? Why are they such a spineless board?
 
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