The family issues - my father and sister

Dulex9

Tape Ball Regular
Joined
May 29, 2016
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I'm writing this quicky, so in a sense, it may not seem like coherent English.

This is an ongoing issue.

You may say it's my issue, I had a long term disability which I came out of and other health problems which I came out, which my father and sister seems to forget.

My sister emotionally abused me for two decades.

She didn't wish to talk to me for seven years. After that she replied back in an angry manner.

She put me down a lot.

She acted very bossy around the house.

I can't do nothing, she acted like Hitler just shouting angrily back

She says why do I want to know the music to the movie when she knows

She kept complaining to my father before she couldn't have a proper marriage. She wanted a 50k plus marriage in England.

She twisted a lot of things.

When I talked about the bullying, abuse from the cousin, she didn't care, she angrily said things back, she didn't say nothing, she knows his behaviour in the past and never admitted and didn't stand up for me, not really in my corner.

She said let's have a family discussion, why would I and do I need to?

She wants to fit and feeds off her friends. She only cares about her image.

She maybe jealous and has issues off herself.

I reported my sister a few times, she was very cruel, I feel she silenced me. Only I know how cruel she was, that's why I reported her.
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My father just complains, moans, argues.

He used to complain about money a lot. Used to complain a lot.

He saves £400 a week on a pension, has his mortgage paid off, daughter married, security, stability, has every need met.

I research things for him

He is Going abroad for a few months now

He started complaining to a pensioner women, she didn't look good, certainly had no help. But she looked at him and me with the help he's receiving and seen my Nike air max trainers. She didn't find it funny at all when he complained about food prices etc.

He doesn't listen

A few years ago he almost destroyed my life and everything and I had to take time off for a few weeks.

Last time he almost ruined my career, certainly can't meet women back then with that bad attitude

He never listens.

He says money, however he didn't listen I'm going into self employment which the money is good and you need money to hire people too.

I say I'm meeting women, he doesn't listen. If the power is there, the power is there

He shouts angrily get married, however, you don't need to marry to show anything, I can have a register or have a girlfriend

I am meeting women, however, he doesn't listen

I'm 35, but I know nearly 50 men in the community older than me about 2-7 years ago are not in relationships, not even married.

With his attitude, he could ruin everything again.

He has no sympathy or compassion for other community members as there are many others who haven't done well.

A man shouted at him, pointing angrily to his head. He said why you worried and say stuff when you son has money, women and he's two much older children don't.

He may start complaining again.

I did everything with a disability, mind you.

An older community guy seen me, said my father is daft and another community member says my father is daft, but he told the truth to me. The only thing people say the brutal truth is, your father is daft. They don't say it a nasty or mean way.
 
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Due to lot of mistakes in ur emergency text, i wont drag it .I see u said u are completely cured of disability and perfectly healthy now.if u are working and can stay independently,why can't u live alone ?Atleast ur neighbours may be decent than ur family .As u said u r part of community,how everyone else is living? Are they independent or can u be stay with of any them ?
 
Due to lot of mistakes in ur emergency text, i wont drag it .I see u said u are completely cured of disability and perfectly healthy now.if u are working and can stay independently,why can't u live alone ?Atleast ur neighbours may be decent than ur family .As u said u r part of community,how everyone else is living? Are they independent or can u be stay with of any them ?
Is my sister a narcissist? What would you say of her behaviour and attitude?

I only had a minor disability, it did not really impact my life. I am ok

Thank you for your reply?
 
Is my sister a narcissist? What would you say of her behaviour and attitude?

I only had a minor disability, it did not really impact my life. I am ok

Thank you for your reply?
She is a bully,selfish and too much self centred for sure.I can say on the border levels of narcissism. She may have thought u r inferior to her as and u may not be much helpful for her .If u are a genius and destined for great things than her,her entire approach may have been different and even ur father's too.Both of them seems to be completely selfish you for any kind of gains.So I don't think u can gain anything by staying with them apart from mental trauma.
 
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Agree with Vikram.

It's hard to tell what the issue is but if these people are getting you down and you have tried your best then perhaps it's time to venture out on your own without them.
 
Is my sister a narcissist? What would you say of her behaviour and attitude?

I only had a minor disability, it did not really impact my life. I am ok

Thank you for your reply?
You seem to be under a lot of stress man. I can understand from your post, there is a lot of trauma and you are finding it hard to articulate. We are all strangers to your situation and would have little helpful.

Take your time, sometimes anxiety kicks into higher gear and nothing makes sense. Just let the rush adrenaline settle a bit. It will happen, trust me. Sometimes the present seems overwhelming and super important but remember ever past that has faded was also a present then.

Ignore the things that are not in your direct control, we are not really in control of what others do or feel. Carefully identify the things in your life that are very well in your control.
I am not sure if any of it helps, but time heals and in life, most things are not usually as important as they seem.
 
whats the actual question here? also maybe worth sticking that into chatgpt if u aint got time to write everything out properly to make it a bit more coherant
 
It's hard to understand what the issue is.

If you're well off financially, leave the house and find somewhere else to live. Best way to keep your relationship with your sister at arm's length.
 
Sorry. I'm being genuine here. I'm writing quicky which may not make sense.

It is hard, I feel my dignity is being ruined.

My sister was very careless, didn't care, she put me the one side and kept silent on that cousins behaviour. She definitely isn't going to say anything with his past behaviour. Kept a tight lid. She is going to say anything and no doubt people asked then "why did your brother report him to the police twice then" She made me look like a liar.

She doesn't care. Must care about her image too much.

He and they will do it again, what is she going to do? She gave him another chance seems like it. If it was me, she'd rip me apart.

With my father, I get confused. I'm confused. He keeps telling me things when I've got these things. He is way over the top with his words.
 
You said you are 35. If you have a job and earning enough to meet your needs, move out. You do not have to stay in contact with people who do not respect you (even if they are your parents or siblings).
 
Thank you all for your suggestions.

I just come home. My father just shouted after I eaten, he shouted saying "put the stuff away". Seconds after eating.

My sister has everything, I'm very successful with a track record, my dad is very successful.

What on earth is this ridiculous attitude about from my father?

Obsessing with what other people think, say, marriage(I can have a gf), someone's says he seems to be a coward, he's not even there and he has everything. What's he doing all the time sitting with good finances? He could places, go to church, this, that.

It's very weak that attitude.

Maybe he has a poor concept on what being a man is.

Ridiculous attitude. He will reverse everything easily.

Unfortunately, he's insulting others and no compassion, sympathy for me and others. Lot of men who didn't do well in my community unfortunately.
 
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