What do you think of parents charging their kids rent to live in their house?

[TSA321]

From what I know it's the norm in Western cultures but is considered an outrageous thing to do in most other cultures.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Have those children paid back the rent they used up when they were living in their parents’ house?

 

[Mamoon]

It is utterly ridiculous. Whatever is yours is also your children’s. You brought them in this world.

One of the few examples of the progressive west completely losing its marbles.

 

[Gilly]

It is utterly ridiculous. Whatever is yours is also your children’s. You brought them in this world.

One of the few examples of the progressive west completely losing its marbles.

What normally happens is when children start working they pay their share of the food, electricity and water. Parents usually bank this and it is returned to the child when they move out of home. This educates them on what needs to be paid and how to budget. It stops them growing up with a sense of entitlement.

 

[IMMY69]

My mother made me pay monthly rent as soon as I got my first proper job.
I am lucky that my parents taught me how to fish and I like to think I’ve brought my kids Uk the same way.

 

[IMMY69]

What normally happens is when children start working they pay their share of the food, electricity and water. Parents usually bank this and it is returned to the child when they move out of home. This educates them on what needs to be paid and how to budget. It stops them growing up with a sense of entitlement.

The rent I paid turned out to be a handsome deposit for my first ever property...

 

[BaankeJi]

What normally happens is when children start working they pay their share of the food, electricity and water. Parents usually bank this and it is returned to the child when they move out of home. This educates them on what needs to be paid and how to budget. It stops them growing up with a sense of entitlement.

Banking children's rent money is not a usual practice.

 

[sweep_shot]

I think children should contribute financially after they become 18. That's the right thing to do.

 

[andy0204]

Yes,nahi toh log aashiqui mein paise udayenge.

 

[Itachi]

If it's for accountability, it's welcomed.

If it's for profit, then it's a ugly scenario.

 

[ahmedzee]

People may hate this from me but I am a huge supporter of asking kids for rent (18+). It gives them more responsibility and value for earning money. Gives insight to kids as to how hard their parents work. Call me too liberal but I am a full supporter of this idea. I have seen kids in families very spoiled because they haven’t learned the value of money and take their parents income for granted.

 

[RajBan]

Understand that it's a cultural thing in the west and it's their way of holding their kid's accountable but personally don't like it as I feel it makes it very explicitly transactional. There is no doubt that in a family all adult members should contribute together in terms of money or management of household activities. In our culture(India/Pakistan/Bangladesh) it is expected that once son's and daughter's start earning they will bear the household expenses and share their parent's load and most of us do it without even being told by anybody. That is our family value and I think we don't need to change it and go the western way. I have tremendous respect for lot of progressive things in Western culture but this is one particular aspect which we should do good to stick our own way rather than blindly imitating them thinking that this is a very modern progressive thing to do which it is not.

 

[sweep_shot]

Anyone who abandons parents and doesn't help parents is a coward. Parents deserve our financial helps (if required) and other helps.

It is basic decency.

 

[Pakistanian]

Terrible idea.

Also not all western people do this. Usually the ones with dysfunctional family structures charge their kids rent but then the same kids cut off their toxic parents once they're older.

 

[Pakistanian]

People may hate this from me but I am a huge supporter of asking kids for rent (18+). It gives them more responsibility and value for earning money. Gives insight to kids as to how hard their parents work. Call me too liberal but I am a full supporter of this idea. I have seen kids in families very spoiled because they haven’t learned the value of money and take their parents income for granted.

Well then you should be okay with your kids choosing to rent elsewhere cause then they can also get real freedom. What's the point of paying your parents rent but then they subject you to the rules of a child, right? So move out and get a place of your own, you'll learn independence and self-reliance. Also what do you think of your kids charging you rent once you've retired (65+)?

 

[sweep_shot]

Also what do you think of your kids charging you rent once you've retired (65+)?

Parents and children are not the same. As a child, I would contribute financially to parents if I live with them but I would not charge them if they are living with me.

 

[Pakistanian]

It's funny when Desis want a transactional relation with their adult kids but then won't give them the freedom of choice they're entitled, if you want to charge rent then don't tell your children who they can't and can marry, if they can date, what they can wear, where they go and what they choose to study. You either go full g*ra or desi, a hybrid system is just exploiting the kids - you want the control desi culture gives you but also to charge your kids rent.

 

[Pakistanian]

Parents and children are not the same. As a child, I would contribute financially parents if I live with them but I would not charge them if they are living with me.

Also, after 65, people are like babies. They are helpless. 18 years old is not helpless; he should be able to contribute (if necessary).

LOOOL How is not the same? We have 70 and 80 year olds like Trump, Sanders, Warren etc running for President, Imran Khan is pushing 70. You ARE not a baby after 65 lmaoo unless you suffer from a severe neurodegenerative disease.

Also you don't have a choice in being born and who your parents are whereas your parents CHOSE to have a child and therefore they are responsible for you - child negligence is a crime and you can get your kids taken away. So don't feel entitled to recompense because you chose to have a child but believe you must be paid back because you were required to raise them.

 

[Saeed]

My parents don’t make me pay rent but I still contributes towards mortgage payments, credit card bills and groceries. If I was paying for all these things on my own I would be paying a lot more. So I am not losing anything and I am helping them financially so its all good. Also it helps me save money and invest somewhere else, which hopefully will help me become financially independent in future.

 

[sweep_shot]

LOOOL How is not the same? We have 70 and 80 year olds like Trump, Sanders, Warren etc running for President, Imran Khan is pushing 70. You ARE not a baby after 65 lmaoo unless you suffer from a severe neurodegenerative disease.

Also you don't have a choice in being born and who your parents are whereas your parents CHOSE to have a child and therefore they are responsible for you - child negligence is a crime and you can get your kids taken away. So don't feel entitled to recompense because you chose to have a child but believe you must be paid back because you were required to raise them.

I was saying from Islamic point of view. Modern western countries don't know how to treat parents.

People generally retire after 65 and they often have to live with pensions and whatnot. It helps them a lot if they get some helps. You also get rewards from God (inn sha Allah).

After 18, a child is no longer a child and is a fully adult.

 

[Pakistanian]

My parents don’t make me pay rent but I still contributes towards mortgage payments, credit card bills and groceries. If I was paying for all these things on my own I would be paying a lot more. So I am not losing anything and I am helping them financially so its all good. Also it helps me save money and invest somewhere else, which hopefully will help me become financially independent in future.

It's always good to help out your parents financially.

 

[sweep_shot]

Also, I was referring to regular people.

Trump, Sanders, Imran Khan etc. are celebrities and their issues are different.

 

[IMMY69]

Urmm so just to be clear...
I was only charge rent when I was almost 22 years old and in full time employment.

and thank god for that becauee it made the person I am now plus now I drive the cars that I do and holiday as I can. I can buy my own children homes in london if I wanted to...
The choice is mine and I want to teach them to fish as I was taught.

 

[Pakistanian]

I was saying from Islamic point of view. Modern western countries don't know how to treat parents.

People generally retire after 65 and they often have to live with pensions and whatnot. It helps them a lot if they get some helps. You also get rewards from God (inn sha Allah).

After 18, a child is no longer a child and is a fully adult.

Lol so now you want to bring Islam, well islam doesn't mandate you to charge your kids rent but now you want to invoke religion because you want to dictate who your kids marry/date, do in their personal time et.

And no, neurologically you are not really an adult at 18 - there's a lot of development going on. Your frontal lobes aren't even developed until about 25 - 27, you grow up a lot in your early 20s. Also legally you don't have a lot of rights at 18 or even 20, you gain those rights incrementally, for example you can't file FAFSA (student aid) independently until you're 24, you can't do certain things until 21, can't rent a car until 25, you pay high car insurance under 25, and moreso under 21, you're listed as a minor on your parents health insurance until 21 and can legally stay on their health plan until 26.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

Parents should charge rent, and if they don't children should offer to pay money to the parents. Stop being freeloaders.

 

[Abdul]

Lol so now you want to bring Islam, well islam doesn't mandate you to charge your kids rent but now you want to invoke religion because you want to dictate who your kids marry/date, do in their personal time et.

And no, neurologically you are not really an adult at 18 - there's a lot of development going on. Your frontal lobes aren't even developed until about 25 - 27, you grow up a lot in your early 20s. Also legally you don't have a lot of rights at 18 or even 20, you gain those rights incrementally, for example you can't file FAFSA (student aid) independently until you're 24, you can't do certain things until 21, can't rent a car until 25, you pay high car insurance under 25, and moreso under 21, you're listed as a minor on your parents health insurance until 21 and can legally stay on their health plan until 26.

The person you're quoting is one confused soul.

 

[Technics 1210]

I don't think this has to do with parents, this is about perception and culture.

OP references *rent*, but in reality the monthly monetary *charge* is a contribution towards the subsistence of the family/home. Essentially, chipping in your share for the family. This should be encouraged, nowt wrong with this!

Of course, if *kids* have a problem with paying rent to their parents for staying in a family home with all the creature comforts, then open the door, walk out, and tie yourselves to the shackles of debt!

 

[Abdul]

If my parents asked me to pay rent I'd simply move out at that point and get a place of my own. No point living with them anymore when you're going to be paying rent either way.

 

[sweep_shot]

Lol so now you want to bring Islam, well islam doesn't mandate you to charge your kids rent but now you want to invoke religion because you want to dictate who your kids marry/date, do in their personal time et.

And no, neurologically you are not really an adult at 18 - there's a lot of development going on. Your frontal lobes aren't even developed until about 25 - 27, you grow up a lot in your early 20s. Also legally you don't have a lot of rights at 18 or even 20, you gain those rights incrementally, for example you can't file FAFSA (student aid) independently until you're 24, you can't do certain things until 21, can't rent a car until 25, you pay high car insurance under 25, and moreso under 21, you're listed as a minor on your parents health insurance until 21 and can legally stay on their health plan until 26.

I got it. So, you are saying a person is still a baby at the age of 25.

No point in discussing this with you then.

 

[sweep_shot]

The person you're quoting is one confused soul.

Please enlighten me how am I a confused soul. I have demonstrated what I believe in with 100% conviction.

Don't tell me you believe a person is still a baby at the age of 25.

 

[Manunited18]

Anyone who abandons parents and doesn't help parents is a coward. Parents deserve our financial helps (if required) and other helps.

It is basic decency.

Well said

 

[TSA321]

I don't think this has to do with parents, this is about perception and culture.

OP references *rent*, but in reality the monthly monetary *charge* is a contribution towards the subsistence of the family/home. Essentially, chipping in your share for the family. This should be encouraged, nowt wrong with this!

Of course, if *kids* have a problem with paying rent to their parents for staying in a family home with all the creature comforts, then open the door, walk out, and tie yourselves to the shackles of debt!

There's a difference between voluntarily giving some money to your parents to help with bills etc. which is what most people from Asian backgrounds do, and your parents forcing you to pay a certain amount or be kicked out of the house. The latter is what the thread is referring to, and is common amongst Westerners but not the rest of the world.

 

[Kroll]

I don't think parents should force their kids to pay rent. But if you're over 21, in full time employment and still living with parents, then I think the onus is on the children to make some sort of contribution to the household running costs.

This would also put them in good stead for when they have to run their home in the future.

 

[WhenSultansBowled]

As a Pakistani living in the west, got my first job at 18 and gave my first paycheck to my parents. Been contributing from ever since...

If children don't wanna contribute then they should "man-up" and move out.

From what I know it's the norm in Western cultures but is considered an outrageous thing to do in most other cultures.

For me the outrageous thing is to leech off parents and live rent free.

 

[Syed1]

I know a few desi families in which the working kids contribute towards the mortgage of the house... I see nothing wrong in it.

 

[minamino]

It means that you have failed as a parent. Another thing which I find ridiculous is when parents accuse their children of stealing when it’s not really stealing

 

[troodon]

If a grown up person is living with parents, he/she is expected to contribute towards expenses.
If the person is not contributing, then parents will be forced to charge kids for rent at least.

I see nothing wrong in this.

 

[Gilly]

It means that you have failed as a parent. Another thing which I find ridiculous is when parents accuse their children of stealing when it’s not really stealing

You fail as a parent if your children move out on their own and have no idea how pay their bills and manage their finances.

Who accuses their children of stealing, never heard of that before.

 

[sweep_shot]

It means that you have failed as a parent. Another thing which I find ridiculous is when parents accuse their children of stealing when it’s not really stealing

Can you explain what you mean by "stealing"? Do you mean accusing of freeloading?

If you are living with parents after 25 and you are not contributing, I think it is fair to call you a freeloader or someone who "steals".

 

[ahmedzee]

Well then you should be okay with your kids choosing to rent elsewhere cause then they can also get real freedom. What's the point of paying your parents rent but then they subject you to the rules of a child, right? So move out and get a place of your own, you'll learn independence and self-reliance. Also what do you think of your kids charging you rent once you've retired (65+)?

It is for accountability only and not for profit. I did that as a child. My elder brother didn’t. He still hasn’t learnt what responsibility and financial accountability is. I have. You need to be in the situation to learn the positives. I am not saying charge the kid 2 grand a month. Just charge 20% of what he gets paid from his part time job while studying and it will go a long way.

As a 65+, I don’t see myself giving rent to anyone as I would own my own home. I feel it would be more like my kids living in my basement the way property prices are rising, lol.

All in all, i Wont mind giving part of my pension to kids if they need it. Anything for kids, in any capacity.

With that being I urge you guys to have financial accountability. Don’t end up like my brother.

 

[Pakistanian]

I've seen a lot of cases where Desi guys aren't allowed to move out by their parents even if it's what their wife really wants.

 

[jaf348]

They're adults and they should pay rent or contribute towards living costs if they are living with their parents. At the same time, their parents shouldn't treat them like children anymore (which a lot of desi parents do) and should afford them some level of personal freedom and privacy like any paying tenant is entitled to. If they wish to be hosting parties, bringing girls over, etc then it's best for them to move out to avoid any conflicts.

 

[imrankhannsu]

I think being Asians we have a collective mentality that we are to help our families. Westerners have a different culture. Kids need to fend for themselves after uni.

I think thats why the connection between Asian families are stronger than Western families normally.

I knew a white guy who was staying a few months (agreed) at a Brothers house as he just got a new job and had no money. He was paying rent to him as well. I dont know if this is common, but it made me feel quite sad. But then I thought that he doesnt have the hassle of paying deposits or agency fees and other expenses.