What is a reasonable amount in today's time for Haq Mehr?

[Savak]

My understanding of Haq Mehr is that it is like a prenuptial agreement type of thing which specificies the amount, assets the Husband has to give to his wife in the event of a divorce. Normally in the past I observed that families would just put down a token amount or collection of jewellry as Haq Mehr.

However I have observed that in Canada and the US, the girls side of the family are extremely particular about this and they demand that the guy and his family put down a significant amount of money or assets in the Haq Mehr. I just heard of a recent planned marriage in the distant family get called off because the guys side of the family took offense to the fact the girls family kept raising issues on the Haq Mehr and demanded a much larger amount.

After debating with my dad yesterday, he is off the opinion that women do deserve some protection and that the Haq Mehr should include a significant material amount i.e. either a large sum of money or some property in the girls name especially in the event if the marriage ended because of the husband's wrong doing or infidelity.

Does anyone know what is the usual practice now days?

 

[slipcatch]

There is no fixed amount.

Varies from person to person.

 

[Asim_khan]

2 years wage is what some Muslims women's group in India was demanding

 

[Fahdi]

My understanding of Haq Mehr is that it is like a prenuptial agreement type of thing which specificies the amount, assets the Husband has to give to his wife in the event of a divorce. Normally in the past I observed that families would just put down a token amount or collection of jewellry as Haq Mehr.

However I have observed that in Canada and the US, the girls side of the family are extremely particular about this and they demand that the guy and his family put down a significant amount of money or assets in the Haq Mehr. I just heard of a recent planned marriage in the distant family get called off because the guys side of the family took offense to the fact the girls family kept raising issues on the Haq Mehr and demanded a much larger amount.

After debating with my dad yesterday, he is off the opinion that women do deserve some protection and that the Haq Mehr should include a significant material amount i.e. either a large sum of money or some property in the girls name especially in the event if the marriage ended because of the husband's wrong doing or infidelity.

Does anyone know what is the usual practice now days?

Your understanding of Haq Mehr is the *******ized understanding that has been formed by our culture. Haq Mehr is supposed to be given to the bride after the nikkah is concluded, as soon as possible. This payment at divorce is absolutely wrong and exploitative.

As far as the amount is concerned technically the bride can demand as much as she wants; whether, it's 1 rupee or a billion it's up to her. Though ethically the demands are kept reasonable considering the means of the groom. A good way to determine a reasonable amount is to figure how much she will need if she had to live on her own, maintaining her lifestyle which she had with you, for 5-6 months. So suppose you were to die, God forbid, or get divorced she should be able to use her Haq Mehr to get by for the next 6 months or so. If you lived in a rented apartment with a rent of 40,000 and other household expenses are around 30,000 then just calculate it as 70,000x6=420,000. That means a Haq Mehr of around 4.5 to 5 lakh will be appropriate. Obviously if you have a simpler lifestyle you'll need less and if you live lavishly you'll need more.

 

[bones]

You often find out a lot about a girl and her family when it comes to this. I would say that it should be very small in the west because women get so many of the assets if they divorce. In Pakistan, I think it's fair to demand higher amounts because perhaps there's not as much financial protection for divorcees.

 

[King-Misbah]

Haq Mehr is a tricky one. As in, back in the days it was used as a security for the women. However, these days, ladies make their own money so extravagant haq mehr do seem a bit shady. Normally, haq mehr is kept at a minimum.

 

[Halaribo]

The agreement I had with my wife was £5000 over the course of our marriage, unconditional. I spent more than that on her in less than half a year in loving gifts.

Alhamdulillah, my wife is not a greedy person at all.

 

[Pakpak]

The agreement I had with my wife was £5000 over the course of our marriage, unconditional. I spent more than that on her in less than half a year in loving gifts.

Alhamdulillah, my wife is not a greedy person at all.

Almost same, except she deferred to whenever I want, seeing as I was a bit broke and saving up And to be fair we only went for it to end squabbling for our families who seem to be going on and on about it more than me and her.

 

[Halaribo]

Almost same, except she deferred to whenever I want, seeing as I was a bit broke and saving up And to be fair we only went for it to end squabbling for our families who seem to be going on and on about it more than me and her.

My wife was also wise enough to see I'm no penny pincher, but that being understanding now, I could give her a decent but affordable wedding and high quality of life, and a very nice ring, instead of leaving me financially broken right at the start of our marriage.

Women like that today are gems!

 

[srh]

My understanding of Haq Mehr is that it is like a prenuptial agreement type of thing which specificies the amount, assets the Husband has to give to his wife in the event of a divorce. Normally in the past I observed that families would just put down a token amount or collection of jewellry as Haq Mehr.

However I have observed that in Canada and the US, the girls side of the family are extremely particular about this and they demand that the guy and his family put down a significant amount of money or assets in the Haq Mehr. I just heard of a recent planned marriage in the distant family get called off because the guys side of the family took offense to the fact the girls family kept raising issues on the Haq Mehr and demanded a much larger amount.

After debating with my dad yesterday, he is off the opinion that women do deserve some protection and that the Haq Mehr should include a significant material amount i.e. either a large sum of money or some property in the girls name especially in the event if the marriage ended because of the husband's wrong doing or infidelity.

Does anyone know what is the usual practice now days?

Haq Mehr should be given to the bride on the wedding day. If groom does not have Haq Mehr then he should not get married until he has earn the Haq Mehr amount.

 

[shaaik]

The agreement I had with my wife was £5000 over the course of our marriage, unconditional. I spent more than that on her in less than half a year in loving gifts.

Alhamdulillah, my wife is not a greedy person at all.

So those gifts that you have given to your wife .. were they a part of the Mehr or it was on top of the amount that was fixed.. coz if the gifts are not part of the Mehr and you haven't paid her complete 5000£.. you still would have to pay I reckon..

 

[shaaik]

Haq Mehr should be given to the bride on the wedding day. If groom does not have Haq Mehr then he should not get married until he has earn the Haq Mehr amount.

No, I think u still can pay during the course of time.. but some school of though say u have to pay it before you consummate the marriage ..

 

[ILcricket]

My understanding of Haq Mehr is that it is like a prenuptial agreement type of thing which specificies the amount, assets the Husband has to give to his wife in the event of a divorce. Normally in the past I observed that families would just put down a token amount or collection of jewellry as Haq Mehr.

However I have observed that in Canada and the US, the girls side of the family are extremely particular about this and they demand that the guy and his family put down a significant amount of money or assets in the Haq Mehr. I just heard of a recent planned marriage in the distant family get called off because the guys side of the family took offense to the fact the girls family kept raising issues on the Haq Mehr and demanded a much larger amount.

After debating with my dad yesterday, he is off the opinion that women do deserve some protection and that the Haq Mehr should include a significant material amount i.e. either a large sum of money or some property in the girls name especially in the event if the marriage ended because of the husband's wrong doing or infidelity.

Does anyone know what is the usual practice now days?

lol , there is no percentage to net worth ratio . In India , well to do families offer a sum of 1 crore [ about 130k $ ] but that is you know the top rung .