Who would you blame for a child's failure in life?

[MenInG]

Easy to blame parents but how much of is it he child's fault?

 

[KingKhanWC]

Circumstances do matter but in general I would go 70% parents fault and 30% childs. Not all parents have the time(due to work) to be there 24/7 around their children. There are many external factors depending on the society which will influence the child to bad behaviour. The days of beating kids is over, so if a child wont conform to the house rules, it's difficult for the parents to force him/her. If the child has been given every opportunity to succeed but after the age of 16 fails, the parents have no blame imo.

 

[Suleiman]

Depends on the age because after a certain period the child has to take responsibility for their actions.

Everybody is somebody's child.

 

[Robert]

In the end, the child. You can only blame parents and circumstance for so long.

 

[troodon]

Until 12 or 13, it would be parents. After that, the responsibility shifts to the child as years pass by.

By the age 15, if the kid is not responsible enough to understand the importance of success in life, then it is totally the kids fault.

 

[KingKhanWC]

In the end, the child. You can only blame parents and circumstance for so long.

If a child was born as an accident to a young couple who then broke up leaving it with no real family structure, should the blame still be on the child?

 

[DeadBall]

I blame the gormint.

 

[finalfantasy7]

Government mainly

 

[Buffet]

Environment around child.

There is clear difference in child's surroundings in Afghanistan vs USA. That shapes up their lives.

Even within one city, environment like family structure etc can make a huge difference.

 

[Zeeraq]

Easily circumstances, a person can only do so much against the hand they've been dealt with!

 

[Bosanquet]

The Greeks blamed the Gods for a man's fate.
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves" says Cassius - Julius Caesar, Act 1.
Ibsen blamed society.

So there you have it - Gods/luck = circumstances; ourselves = the child; society = parents.

On the other hand, Philip Larkin was quite categorical in his opinion -

They f... you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

From "This be the Verse"

 

[ElRaja]

luck plays a part, in so much as the peer group you end up hanging around, imho, is more important than your family in terms of influence on who you are because lets be honest, in formative years, early teens, etc, friends and peers have a far larger influence on you than your parents do. you dont really learn to appreciate your parents pov till you are much older and think back on everything that could have gone wrong.

If a child was born as an accident to a young couple who then broke up leaving it with no real family structure, should the blame still be on the child?

two of my best freinds are from what may be classed as broken homes, i.e. fathers ran off, it meant they had to work from a young age to support the family, imbued a strong work ethic in them, they are doing really well for themselves and tho i may be biased in my judgement, are pretty cool people.

ideally youd desire a loving family structure for a kid to grow up in, but from what ive seen its pbly better to have absent parents than disruptive, stupid or mean parents.

 

[Pakistanian]

Until 12 or 13, it would be parents. After that, the responsibility shifts to the child as years pass by.

By the age 15, if the kid is not responsible enough to understand the importance of success in life, then it is totally the kids fault.

how a child is raised has a big impact in how they turn out in their teens and 20s so yes I'd pin it on parents.

 

[Pakistanian]

Easy to blame parents but how much of is it he child's fault?

It might be easy in western but not in desi/eastern culture where parents have a God-like status.

 

[DeadBall]

how a child is raised has a big impact in how they turn out in their teens and 20s so yes I'd pin it on parents.

This post was as dumb as the original question.

The age old nature vs nurture argument. Both have effects in my opinion, I have known children who have had have supportive and understanding parents who turned out to be a-holes (maybe due to that) and have also known some who came from a broken family but went on to do something great with their life.

You cannot just "pin it" on someone.

 

[rockyboy2018]

Interesting question. I am eligible to answer this question as I was born in a poverty-stricken household where parents used to fight each other and we had a huge family to feed with and there was no money. No proper education. No proper nutrituition. It is like breeding kids and leaving them alone to grow up. When I was in Pakistan, I was bullied, suffered serious depression with psychotic features. Now I am studying in Germany after a gap of 15 years , doing pretty good with my studies.

However, there is a HUGE IF when it comes to failures or successes... in my book it is all perception. Life is a continuous learning process. It is a continuous struggle. (Had I not grown up in such a harsh enviornment, I would not have even ended up in Germany or traveled to other European countries in the world.)

I am more of the opinion that where you would be born into what religion or in what circumstances it is all pre-decided by God. So there should not be any blame game from any side. An event in life whether it be good or bad is a lesson itself.

In the same household, not everyone is going to be a rocket scientist. Everyone's destiny is already written but that does not mean they do not have to work hard or improve their circumstances in life. They do.

As an adult whatever problems you have inherited it is your responsibility to fix them and wish your parents good wishes for whatever quality of life they have provided you.

That's what I think. Just 2 Euros.

 

[DeadBall]

It might be easy in western but not in desi/eastern culture where parents have a God-like status.

Very true but very contradicting posts.

 

[DeadBall]

I am more of the opinion that where you would be born into what religion or in what circumstances it is all pre-decided by God.

So this was all Gods fault?

/meine zwei Cent.

 

[rockyboy2018]

It is not a God's fault but a plan to teach you something about life. There must be hidden reasons behind it they will not be revealed right away but with the passage of time. Because you need a lot of experiences to even understand a God's plan. This is not a man made plan which can be deciphered like 1-2-3-4. That's how I think.

 

[Sirris]

It is most certainly the parents fault and then the society's.

How is a child suppose to know how to succeed in life. Unfortunately most parents don't know how they raise children properly. Just giving the child all the gifts he wants and reminding him to "get good grades" doesn't mean you are being a good parent and did your necessary job.

It is also society's fault since in our Pakistani culture you are wed young especially young girls while the boys are supposed to concentrate on college and getting a god job and when the wedding comes nobody teaches you how to be a good parent.

 

[Rayyman]

I don't believe in failure.

 

[UP]

To OP - what’s your definition of life failure?

 

[yasir]

I would go with Munir Nazi, he explains it pretty well

Kuch Shir Da Loog vee Zalim saan
Kuch Sanoo Maran Da Shook See

 

[shaaik]

It almost every time is circumstances.

 

[troodon]

It almost every time is circumstances.

Then the blame should go to God.

God creates the circumstances and the nature/surroundings.

 

[j_kazmi]

Interesting question. I am eligible to answer this question as I was born in a poverty-stricken household where parents used to fight each other and we had a huge family to feed with and there was no money. No proper education. No proper nutrituition. It is like breeding kids and leaving them alone to grow up. When I was in Pakistan, I was bullied, suffered serious depression with psychotic features. Now I am studying in Germany after a gap of 15 years , doing pretty good with my studies.

However, there is a HUGE IF when it comes to failures or successes... in my book it is all perception. Life is a continuous learning process. It is a continuous struggle. (Had I not grown up in such a harsh enviornment, I would not have even ended up in Germany or traveled to other European countries in the world.)

I am more of the opinion that where you would be born into what religion or in what circumstances it is all pre-decided by God. So there should not be any blame game from any side. An event in life whether it be good or bad is a lesson itself.

In the same household, not everyone is going to be a rocket scientist. Everyone's destiny is already written but that does not mean they do not have to work hard or improve their circumstances in life. They do.

As an adult whatever problems you have inherited it is your responsibility to fix them and wish your parents good wishes for whatever quality of life they have provided you.

That's what I think. Just 2 Euros.

Exactly this.

A lot of other posters have said that the child can not control what environment or family he is born into so it can’t be there fault.

But one day that child will become an adult and at that point they’ll have to face these issues themselves. At this point the failure of that person will almost entirely be there fault, because we can choose to carry on working hard whilst dealing with all the issues in ones life or complain and make excuses for your failures and blame everyone else in the world but yourself.

Every one has problems in their lives, some more than others but the ones that whole heartedly commit to succeeding in life will achieve at the very least some level of success. It might not be huge financial success like we all dream of but it will be better then remaining stagnant and carry on living the way you’re family and elders have lived.

 

[Hamza_]

[MENTION=5869]yasir[/MENTION]

Epic.

 

[UP]

Nobody has said this yet: what’s the definition of life failure? Or what is life failure?