Would you leave your parents to work and live abroad?

[Moiza]

Hypothetical question

You get a job and a chance to settle abroad in USA/Canada/Developed countries but you cant take your parents with you. Would you take the chance?

 

[Pakpak]

A lot of our parents did that to their parents when they moved to USA/UK/Canada. Ultimately people will do it whatever is best for their kids.

 

[Moiza]

A lot of our parents did that to their parents when they moved to USA/UK/Canada. Ultimately people will do it whatever is best for their kids.

There's that. But I think its a little bit okay if the person leaving does not happen to be the only sibling, however, if an only son leaves then that to me is completely wrong because no parent should be left in a society like ours alone without a son to rely on especially as they get older.

 

[MenInG]

My mother encouraged me to leave and find a better future. I would do the same for my children.

Remember that ALLAH SWT zameen is huge. You can probably look after your parents better where you can earn more and also where you can also look after your own children better

 

[Pakpak]

My mother encouraged me to leave and find a better future. I would do the same for my children.

Remember that ALLAH SWT zameen is huge. You can probably look after your parents better where you can earn more and also where you can also look after your own children better

Pretty much, good post.

 

[Pakpak]

There's that. But I think its a little bit okay if the person leaving does not happen to be the only sibling, however, if an only son leaves then that to me is completely wrong because no parent should be left in a society like ours alone without a son to rely on especially as they get older.

If they're older and helpless they could always move in. But a lot of people on PP, their parents moved away for their kids. Everyone will do ANYTHING for their kids.

 

[Syed1]

Mughay tou force karke bheja tha parhne LOL

 

[adil_909]

I grew up in Saudi Arabia, where at the time they only had school in English until 9th grade. When kids finished 9th grade, families either sent their kids to boarding school, or retired and went back to their home countries. At age 15, I flew half way around the world to California by myself, having previously never been on a flight longer than the 3 hour flight from Dammam to Islamabad. I had gotten a scholarship at a boarding school near Los Angeles. Since then, I have been fortunate to finish high school, college, medical school, and residency in the US. Each step of the way, I was told that there is no way a Pakistani international student could ___. But now, 16 years later, I am a practicing physician and am proud of my accomplishments. It was a very difficult decision to leave home that young. I still remember turning around at Dammam airport that night to see my mom crying when I was leaving. But that decision helped me get to where I am today, and I can now easily take care of my parents and my family, and am looking for projects to do medical relief work in Pakistan. Moral of the story is that with humility, hard work, and prayers of our families, impossible is nothing. You just have to have the courage to take the first step.

 

[TalentSpotterPk]

I am the only Son of my Parents. Until my Undergrad throughout I lived with my parents. My Parents have worked very very hard for their children's happiness and bright future. Alhamdoulillah they have been great role models wrt religious aswell as worldly Life.

I always wanted to do my Masters and Phd from top university. This was my personal goal and my Parents supported me.

It was very very difficult for me to leave them for my studies abroad.

When your parents are around 60 although in good health Alhamdoulillah than as a Muslim you feel alot of responsibility. When you think about all those 20 plus years when they have done so so much for you and raised you in the best possible manner than even if they require nothing from you and just want your bright future you still feel that you need to be with them in their old age and do every possible " Khidmatt " of your parents as much as it may be possible for you and koi " Kohtahee " " Kami " reh na jaey. You feel its their " Haq " their right.

You also have a fear that you never know when there time is up and they leave you as nobody knows when they may leave you suddenly furthermore Life expectancy in our place is quite less. So you do not want them to leave you with you having a huge Moral Loan burden on you for the rest of your Life.


Hazur Pbuh said that Unlucky is the Person who found his Parents in Old Age and missed out on Jannat.

I wish & pray for my parents health and long life. May Allah help and bless me to give them happiness and comfort. Aameen. I plan to live with them InshAllah.


Moiza if I am not wrong you are an Accountantcy student. So inshaAllah you will have excellent Job prospects in Pakistan or abroad. Incase you want to settle abroad than you can opt for Immigration and than your parents can live with you as your dependents. So may be you can wait for few years in Pakistan otherwise it may require you many years to be able to call them to live with you permanently.

If not than people do make sacrifices and in life your every wish isn't fulfilled.

 

[TalentSpotterPk]

I grew up in Saudi Arabia, where at the time they only had school in English until 9th grade. When kids finished 9th grade, families either sent their kids to boarding school, or retired and went back to their home countries. At age 15, I flew half way around the world to California by myself, having previously never been on a flight longer than the 3 hour flight from Dammam to Islamabad. I had gotten a scholarship at a boarding school near Los Angeles. Since then, I have been fortunate to finish high school, college, medical school, and residency in the US. Each step of the way, I was told that there is no way a Pakistani international student could ___. But now, 16 years later, I am a practicing physician and am proud of my accomplishments. It was a very difficult decision to leave home that young. I still remember turning around at Dammam airport that night to see my mom crying when I was leaving. But that decision helped me get to where I am today, and I can now easily take care of my parents and my family, and am looking for projects to do medical relief work in Pakistan. Moral of the story is that with humility, hard work, and prayers of our families, impossible is nothing. You just have to have the courage to take the first step.

MashaAllah great to know about you.

Inspirational for all teenagers.

May Allah help bless and reward you further. Aameen.

 

[Moiza]

I am the only Son of my Parents. Until my Undergrad throughout I lived with my parents. My Parents have worked very very hard for their children's happiness and bright future. Alhamdoulillah they have been great role models wrt religious aswell as worldly Life.

I always wanted to do my Masters and Phd from top university. This was my personal goal and my Parents supported me.

It was very very difficult for me to leave them for my studies abroad.

When your parents are around 60 although in good health Alhamdoulillah than as a Muslim you feel alot of responsibility. When you think about all those 20 plus years when they have done so so much for you and raised you in the best possible manner than even if they require nothing from you and just want your bright future you still feel that you need to be with them in their old age and do every possible " Khidmatt " of your parents as much as it may be possible for you and koi " Kohtahee " " Kami " reh na jaey. You feel its their " Haq " their right.

You also have a fear that you never know when there time is up and they leave you as nobody knows when they may leave you suddenly furthermore Life expectancy in our place is quite less. So you do not want them to leave you with you having a huge Moral Loan burden on you for the rest of your Life.


Hazur Pbuh said that Unlucky is the Person who found his Parents in Old Age and missed out on Jannat.

I wish & pray for my parents health and long life. May Allah help and bless me to give them happiness and comfort. Aameen. I plan to live with them InshAllah.


Moiza if I am not wrong you are an Accountantcy student. So inshaAllah you will have excellent Job prospects in Pakistan or abroad. Incase you want to settle abroad than you can opt for Immigration and than your parents can live with you as your dependents. So may be you can wait for few years in Pakistan otherwise it may require you many years to be able to call them to live with you permanently.

If not than people do make sacrifices and in life your every wish isn't fulfilled.

You always post very good answers for the threads I make. I have no idea why or how but I have no inclination towards going out of Pakistan. You are right, Im an accountancy student and the side of accountancy I am in has quite decent opportunities around the world so leaving Pakistan wouldnt be much of an issue but I dont think I will even consider it provided halat dont get very bad. The reason for not considering such a move are highlighted in the answer you wrote.

I asked this question after seeing my grandparents. My mamo was the only child and he moved abroad after completing his bachelors and I have seen my grandparents suffer everyday from the day he left 12 years ago. He visits quite often and they get happy again but when it time for him to leave again (which is tomorrow ) you see the color of their face change and the depression starts to kick in. The cycle repeats every year. I would never wish that happen to anyone's parent. It also is different from person to person, many parent will live happily, some suffer. Seeing this has really put the whole abroad thing into a negative light for me.

 

[Moiza]

My mother encouraged me to leave and find a better future. I would do the same for my children.

Remember that ALLAH SWT zameen is huge. You can probably look after your parents better where you can earn more and also where you can also look after your own children better

I dont hear that quite often. Such cases are perfectly fine. Would you have gone if your mother was against it? I have seen many people fight and leave Pakistan zabardasti and to me that feels completely wrong.

 

[Mamoon]

Never. I don't want to and even if I did, my family situation is such that I can't do anything of this sort without feeling guilty.

 

[Moiza]

Never. I don't want to and even if I did, my family situation is such that I can't do anything of this sort without feeling guilty.

Same boat as you.

 

[Mamoon]

Same boat as you.

My worst fear is my parent(s) dying without me by their side. I have seen this in my life quite a few times. A cousin of mine is a doctor in the UK and his father died back home. His flight got delayed and he couldn't even see his face.

It is a heartbreaking situation. Career and money is not everything. The pleasure that you derive from doing something for your parents is far greater than adding zeroes to your bank balance.

However, I do have great respect for people who move out in order to earn bread and do a lot of hardships. A lot of people are forced to do so and I'm not talking about them. Of course you cannot do anything when you are forced to leave your parents in order to sustain them and your other family members. These people are the real heroes.

 

[DW44]

My parents have made their peace with the fact that at some point I'll leave the country though they're still open to the possibility of joining me if and when I leave. They were opposed to the idea when I first started thinking about it but after seeing how unhappy I have been here these last four years despite having every material comfort, they changed their mind and now that I've cooled off on the idea somewhat, they're the ones pushing me to keep on it and keep trying. Only issue is that they want me to get married before I leave, an arranged marriage no less, which is out of the question so that could create some friction. Ultimately, I don't see myself living here for too long anyway but I keep delaying the process because I keep getting the yips at the thought of when the time to leave finally comes.

 

[ExpressPacer]

Personally, never in a million years and the sole reason for that would be the fact my parents are Alhamdulilah established despite not being from exorbitant backgrounds. They've both worked hard in their own personal fields and excelled and that gives inspiration to me. It shows me that you can be just as successful as anyone in the world living in Pakistan or where ever you're from. Now, I'm not criticizing anyone who has had move abroad. Everyone is in a different situation. Sometimes, you're forced to. It's the best option that you have.

However, frankly speaking, I've grown up in Pakistan and I've seen so many people from my family and parents friends who started with extremely humble backgrounds but have made a name for themselves and found success just by working hard, with honesty. On the other hand, people who have moved abroad (people I know) don't really find of the peace of mind despite having made a lot of money. They work two jobs sometimes, have to live in small apartments, have a lot loans with interest and the worst, go through racism. So, I would stay but anyone chooses not to isn't wrong either. In the end its a matter of what we think is best. Some people just want to be able to spend time with their parents in old age, others want other things in life.

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

My parents have made their peace with the fact that at some point I'll leave the country though they're still open to the possibility of joining me if and when I leave. They were opposed to the idea when I first started thinking about it but after seeing how unhappy I have been here these last four years despite having every material comfort, they changed their mind and now that I've cooled off on the idea somewhat, they're the ones pushing me to keep on it and keep trying. Only issue is that they want me to get married before I leave, an arranged marriage no less, which is out of the question so that could create some friction. Ultimately, I don't see myself living here for too long anyway but I keep delaying the process because I keep getting the yips at the thought of when the time to leave finally comes.

May I ask why if you don't mind?

 

[DW44]

May I ask why if you don't mind?

This was around the time I became, shall we say, "less religious". Should be easy to connect the dots from there keeping in mind Pakistani society and culture. I was always a liberal individualist in a deeply conservative, conformist collectivist society so it was never a good fit for me to begin with but religion was really the straw that broke the camel's back because it was the one thing that connected me with the world around me despite all the differences and once that was gone, I was basically a fish out of water.

 

[Slog]

I don't really know.

I did miss my parents, especially my mother, a lot when I was abroad for 6 or so years.

They wouldn't mind but I'm not sure whether I personally want to make that jump again and leave them especially as they get older

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

This was around the time I became, shall we say, "less religious". Should be easy to connect the dots from there keeping in mind Pakistani society and culture. I was always a liberal individualist in a deeply conservative, conformist collectivist society so it was never a good fit for me to begin with but religion was really the straw that broke the camel's back because it was the one thing that connected me with the world around me despite all the differences and once that was gone, I was basically a fish out of water.

I guessed so but just wanted to confirm. Maybe expected some more masala juicy details.

Anyways, do what's good for you mate.

 

[Donal Cozzie]

Topic thats kinda scary.

Always saw myself in life as being able to move around a bit, see the world etc.

But when I embarked on Erasmus and my parents dropped me off at my small town bus stop at 3am to get the bus to the airport, and I turned around and saw my mother crying it got me a little. Seeing the car drive off and leave me waiting for the bus it just kinda hit me how hard this is for people, and mine is only temporary, couldnt imagine doing it for years on end.

Anyway, one of the benefits of living on a small island is that as long as I hold a job here in one of the main cities I should never be more than 1-3 hours from a weekend visit home if i desired.

I'd try and avoid moving abroad for work, but if I had to I guess i'd have no choice would I. Mans gotta earn money

 

[Moiza]

I don't really know.

I did miss my parents, especially my mother, a lot when I was abroad for 6 or so years.

They wouldn't mind but I'm not sure whether I personally want to make that jump again and leave them especially as they get older

Aren't you in a uni?

 

[Slog]

Aren't you in a uni?

Nah been graduated for a while

Haha why do you get this idea

 

[Moiza]

Nah been graduated for a while

Haha why do you get this idea

There was this uni thread in which you used to write a lot so I assumed you were in uni

 

[Tera Gawaandi]

In North India, it used to be 'bacho ki shaadi karke tension free ho jaaoo', these days it's 'bacho ko baahar bhej ke tension free ho jaaoo, apna humsafar khud dhoond lenge waha pay', In my colony, 95% households have kids abroad, parents alone, only exception is single child or drug addiction.