Anyone here who held a very very simple wedding?

[Savak]

My parents and i in principal agreed that we would hold the remaining wedding functions with spouse with absolute simplicity. I personally don't believe in blowing extravagent sums of money but i do like the fact that people get to socialize, catch up, family members and friends get an opportunity to meet up and ofcourse enjoy the food.

But because of various reasons i.e. Covid, the fact that my mother's health and physical state is so bad that we now feel uncomfortable exposing her to family members and friends who will get upset, ask a million probing questions and also the fact that the last wedding we held, we spent a lot of money and the marriage ended up to be a disaster.

It looks like we will just do 1-2 functions with not more than 30-40 people attending. I don't personally mind to be honest as i am now beyond the age of celebrating my wedding with fanfare at the age of 36.

But just wanted to know from people who have done the same whether people have any regrets later on in life?

 

[sweep_shot]

Big wedding ceremony is a complete waste of money. What if marriage doesn't work out? You are throwing away the money then.

Small ceremony is good.

 

[Slog]

From what I understand and have seen, it’s the wife who really cares for a grand wedding so as long as she is fine then honestly it shouldn’t be an issue.

Also sure that your parents must be thinking of log kya kahenge and why such small wedding. I really don’t get desi culture (which I am part of obv). Why are so many of our decisions driven to hold certain reputation and image in front of relatives we don’t even like in the first place?

In your case specifically you have a ready made excuse in covid to hold a small wedding and not have people question

 

[GoUgandaCranes]

No regrets. Absolutely the best thing that was ever done.

Go for it. Wedding isn't important, marriage is.

 

[Nadeemp]

I never had a wedding. My partner is from Spain. BringOmg two extended families together was a big task. We decided to travel for two years with the money we would have saved. BEST DECISION EVER. Also I can’t stand desi wedding.

 

[Savak]

From what I understand and have seen, it’s the wife who really cares for a grand wedding so as long as she is fine then honestly it shouldn’t be an issue.

Also sure that your parents must be thinking of log kya kahenge and why such small wedding. I really don’t get desi culture (which I am part of obv). Why are so many of our decisions driven to hold certain reputation and image in front of relatives we don’t even like in the first place?

In your case specifically you have a ready made excuse in covid to hold a small wedding and not have people question

My wife is very simple and traditional. She doesn't want a grand wedding either but at least wants to ensure that the traditional pashtun traditions are respected.

 

[Varun]

Simpler the better.

You didn't save and benefit from the power of compounding to hand it on a platter to:

1) A marriage hall owner.
2) The catering guy.
3) The wedding card maker.

All 3 scumbags should be banned.

 

[MenInG]

Due to Covid - we recently hosted my son's wedding which consisted of 20 people. Simple Nikah and some refreshments. Sunnah of the Prophet PBUH achieved and the couple have started their lives.

The same money we would have spent on a lavish wedding will now be used for other useful things.

 

[Energy]

Covid has given everyone the perfect excuse to go for simple weddings. Get hitched while you have the chance.

As much as we like to think that wedding planning is totally in our hands, in reality it is not. The social pressure of inviting all relatives to the wedding ceremony is what parents have to go through, whether they like it or not. Fair enough the younger generation doesn't give two cents, but the same cannot be said about our parent's generation. Yes, there are cases where weddings are show-offs (wrong, obviously) but in the other cases there is absolutely no way in which your parents can take a call on which relatives to invite and which ones to not, especially if they come from large families. That's how you get grand/large gatherings on weddings.

 

[Major]

Covid has given everyone the perfect excuse to go for simple weddings. Get hitched while you have the chance.

As much as we like to think that wedding planning is totally in our hands, in reality it is not. The social pressure of inviting all relatives to the wedding ceremony is what parents have to go through, whether they like it or not. Fair enough the younger generation doesn't give two cents, but the same cannot be said about our parent's generation. Yes, there are cases where weddings are show-offs (wrong, obviously) but in the other cases there is absolutely no way in which your parents can take a call on which relatives to invite and which ones to not, especially if they come from large families. That's how you get grand/large gatherings on weddings.

I dont think the problem is the large gatherings. Infact, its good to have a very large family gathering where everyone meets up after a long time.

I think the issue is the functions that are held.
Mhendi, barat and walima. For three days you see the same people, and while the females enjoy the male just sit on the round table checking their phones bashing or praising imran khan.

Infact, nowadays, celebrations go on for a whole week. There is upton function, maeyoo function, seperate walima for bride and seperate walima for groom. There is a fucntion where you have to give a ceremonial bath to the groom.

As for wasting money, if you go lahore side they do special horse dance on your barat.

In pindi/islamabad, elite and upple class families have started a new trend of doing nikkah at faisal masjid. Just a dramaybazi where you travel From one city to other city for a masjid nikkah that could had been done at your local masjid.

 

[Major]

I dont think the problem is the large gatherings. Infact, its good to have a very large family gathering where everyone meets up after a long time.

I think the issue is the functions that are held.
Mhendi, barat and walima. For three days you see the same people, and while the females enjoy the male just sit on the round table checking their phones bashing or praising imran khan.

Infact, nowadays, celebrations go on for a whole week. There is upton function, maeyoo function, seperate walima for bride and seperate walima for groom. There is a fucntion where you have to give a ceremonial bath to the groom.

As for wasting money, if you go lahore side they do special horse dance on your barat.

In pindi/islamabad, elite and upple class families have started a new trend of doing nikkah at faisal masjid. Just a dramaybazi where you travel From one city to other city for a masjid nikkah that could had been done at your local masjid.

Sorry, meant seperate mhendi function.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

With Corona this is the perfect change to go for a simple wedding.....Normally its hard to have a simple wedding as if you dont invite extended family they might be offended. Like if you invite one cousin and not the other, that's just asking for problems. However now you have the perfect excuse.

 

[UP]

My sister got married 2 weeks ago. The nikkah ceremony was a very simple one. A total of 25 people were invited (groom and bride’s family members were 9) the rest were very close family or friends. No naach gana or shodapan. Nikkah started at 1:30 and we were done by 6. I have been to lots of weddings and this by far was the most simplest. Both parties saves a lot of money. Their wedding cost was a mere $5000. Before Covid we were looking at a price tag of $50,000 plus.

 

[Greenstorm]

I dont think the problem is the large gatherings. Infact, its good to have a very large family gathering where everyone meets up after a long time.

I think the issue is the functions that are held.
Mhendi, barat and walima. For three days you see the same people, and while the females enjoy the male just sit on the round table checking their phones bashing or praising imran khan.

Infact, nowadays, celebrations go on for a whole week. There is upton function, maeyoo function, seperate walima for bride and seperate walima for groom. There is a fucntion where you have to give a ceremonial bath to the groom.

As for wasting money, if you go lahore side they do special horse dance on your barat.

In pindi/islamabad, elite and upple class families have started a new trend of doing nikkah at faisal masjid. Just a dramaybazi where you travel From one city to other city for a masjid nikkah that could had been done at your local masjid.

That horse dance thing happens in most villages where groom has to exhibit horse riding skills.

In most villages of KP and Punjab, a wedding without aerial firing via half a dozen AK-47 s and 'marriage bombs' exploding after regular intervals is considered a dull affair.

 

[Justcrazy]

Its pure wastage of money to show off in weddings.