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Depression

I know some people who suffer from clinical depression.They don't talk much,don't react to people/incidents normally,and often prefer to be alone.
 
Honestly the last couple of weeks have made feel terrible. I've had a sizeable drop in academic success and doing work for hours on end only for it to be completely redundant and useless really destroys morale and gets rid of any last bit of confidence. You start to feel that there isn't any point in doing this as you just don't improve and where everyone else basically effortlessly does better it crushes self esteem. I can relate to some posters here and I guess I have to hope and keep on working harder. Teachers don't really seem to care which is frustrating, they don't say good luck, ask how well you're doing or even try to figure out what's happening. They'll just sit there and rant about how the class got lower than "they expected".
 
LOL at the comment along the lines of 'I have never known a Muslim suffer from a mental illness, ever' and using it as some kind of advertisement.

Talk about adding absolutely nothing to a mature discussion. Anyone can suffer from mental ill health.
 
Not sure if i am suffering from depression, probably not but this is definately a very unhappy and frustrating time period in my life where its very hard to see too many positives

1) Being 32 years old and on the receiving end of relatives taunting me for being single and with constant comments like "You have aged out for a good arranged marriage", "No parent will give their beautiful daughter to you", "Your options are only limited to the reject pool now" and using every tactic in the book to promote 28-32 plus girls in their families, friends circle too my parents

2) My decision to immigrate to Canada in 2012 when i was 27 years old turned out to be a bad one personally, professionally

3) My decision to change my field to Accounting in Canada has turned out to be a bad one

4) My peers moving ahead in their lives personally, professionally compared to me while i am still struggling and because 99% of my friends, peers are living outside Canada, it is very hard for me to explain to them the issues, environment and problems an immigrant faces in Canada. Also hard to admit to them that one is struggling in Canada i.e. greener pastures

5) Being 32 years old, unemployed

6) Have feelings for a girl who is in a relationship with a guy but her folks disapprove of her current boyfriend and have refused to accept him. It is hard for me to let go of her but at the same time i respect her feelings and relationship with the guy and am being a silent observer seeing how things go. My attitude is i am not desperate for marriage for the sake of marriage, i am interested in this girl only for now, but i will kill myself if it turns out that things didn't work out bw her and her current bf and then someone else came into the picture and beat me to it while i missed out due to my innocent naive nature

7) I used to be very conscious of my fitness, health. Have completely only focused on studies and work during the last 6 years of my pursuit of a career in accounting due to which i put excercising on a back seat and am so out of shape, suffer from low self esteem. I want to get back into shape and be more confident again.
 
6) Have feelings for a girl who is in a relationship with a guy but her folks disapprove of her current boyfriend and have refused to accept him. It is hard for me to let go of her but at the same time i respect her feelings and relationship with the guy and am being a silent observer seeing how things go. My attitude is i am not desperate for marriage for the sake of marriage, i am interested in this girl only for now, but i will kill myself if it turns out that things didn't work out bw her and her current bf and then someone else came into the picture and beat me to it while i missed out due to my innocent naive nature
Read more at http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showthread.php?252568-Depression/page2#ibIqFeHjfksf63wq.99

you cant always get what you want. Life sucks
 
Not sure if i am suffering from depression, probably not but this is definately a very unhappy and frustrating time period in my life where its very hard to see too many positives

1) Being 32 years old and on the receiving end of relatives taunting me for being single and with constant comments like "You have aged out for a good arranged marriage", "No parent will give their beautiful daughter to you", "Your options are only limited to the reject pool now" and using every tactic in the book to promote 28-32 plus girls in their families, friends circle too my parents

2) My decision to immigrate to Canada in 2012 when i was 27 years old turned out to be a bad one personally, professionally

3) My decision to change my field to Accounting in Canada has turned out to be a bad one

4) My peers moving ahead in their lives personally, professionally compared to me while i am still struggling and because 99% of my friends, peers are living outside Canada, it is very hard for me to explain to them the issues, environment and problems an immigrant faces in Canada. Also hard to admit to them that one is struggling in Canada i.e. greener pastures

5) Being 32 years old, unemployed

6) Have feelings for a girl who is in a relationship with a guy but her folks disapprove of her current boyfriend and have refused to accept him. It is hard for me to let go of her but at the same time i respect her feelings and relationship with the guy and am being a silent observer seeing how things go. My attitude is i am not desperate for marriage for the sake of marriage, i am interested in this girl only for now, but i will kill myself if it turns out that things didn't work out bw her and her current bf and then someone else came into the picture and beat me to it while i missed out due to my innocent naive nature

7) I used to be very conscious of my fitness, health. Have completely only focused on studies and work during the last 6 years of my pursuit of a career in accounting due to which i put excercising on a back seat and am so out of shape, suffer from low self esteem. I want to get back into shape and be more confident again.

Is this the same cousin (or your bhabi's cousin) you were trying to talk to over facebook?
 
I have been quite depressed lately.I don't like the career I am currently in and would like to go for something else which has been a dream of mine since childhood but just can't seem to gather enough strength and determination to study hard consistently for a year and then wait for a miracle to get selected as a lot of luck factor is involved too in that exam.
My social life is almost non existent.I have cut down on drinking but it isn't helping at all and I find myself staring at the computer screen all day leaving the bedroom for washroom only.
Its as if everything is over and I just wanna sleep and never wake up again.
Life sucks.
 
i have been depressed since my break up. its been 18 months now. i still call her sometimes which i surely shud not do. i do have good friends and get respect ,love . but i am not able to do committed to any other girl right now whenever she asks for commitment.
My whole world crushed at that day when her parents forcefully or dnnow know whatever arranged her marriage. I still get dreams at night about us. i wish i get out of this completly .
Women are the most dangerous beings .
 
Carry out surveys and polls of large enough sample sizes of the population to get a general idea of how happy and/or satisfied people in general are with their lives. For more on the methodology and results, refer to these links:

http://worldhappiness.report/
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/03/16/travel/worlds-happiest-countries-united-nations/
http://www.forbes.com/pictures/mef45ejmi/the-worlds-happiest-and-saddest-countries-2/#30d9487755a3

These are perception-based, subjective polls - which makes me suspicious. Do they account for control variables?
 
I have been quite depressed lately.I don't like the career I am currently in and would like to go for something else which has been a dream of mine since childhood but just can't seem to gather enough strength and determination to study hard consistently for a year and then wait for a miracle to get selected as a lot of luck factor is involved too in that exam.
My social life is almost non existent.I have cut down on drinking but it isn't helping at all and I find myself staring at the computer screen all day leaving the bedroom for washroom only.
Its as if everything is over and I just wanna sleep and never wake up again.
Life sucks.

I hope things get better for you mate.

Have you considered taking some time out to travel? Travelling around the world for a few months can help you energise and become motivated again.
 
i have been depressed since my break up. its been 18 months now. i still call her sometimes which i surely shud not do. i do have good friends and get respect ,love . but i am not able to do committed to any other girl right now whenever she asks for commitment.
My whole world crushed at that day when her parents forcefully or dnnow know whatever arranged her marriage. I still get dreams at night about us. i wish i get out of this completly .
Women are the most dangerous beings .

How is she getting on? Does she feel down like you?
 
I have been quite depressed lately.I don't like the career I am currently in and would like to go for something else which has been a dream of mine since childhood but just can't seem to gather enough strength and determination to study hard consistently for a year and then wait for a miracle to get selected as a lot of luck factor is involved too in that exam.
My social life is almost non existent.I have cut down on drinking but it isn't helping at all and I find myself staring at the computer screen all day leaving the bedroom for washroom only.
Its as if everything is over and I just wanna sleep and never wake up again.
Life sucks.

Work out. Take care of your health. Set some fitness goals. Your life will change.
 
i have been depressed since my break up. its been 18 months now. i still call her sometimes which i surely shud not do. i do have good friends and get respect ,love . but i am not able to do committed to any other girl right now whenever she asks for commitment.
My whole world crushed at that day when her parents forcefully or dnnow know whatever arranged her marriage. I still get dreams at night about us. i wish i get out of this completly .
Women are the most dangerous beings .

Never be too dependent (both physically and emotionally) on anybody. Be it parents and your loved ones. One day we all will be alone. There will be no one with us except us (and Allah ofcourse for me).

I know it's easy to preach and very difficult to implement. Still we can prepare for ourselves.:)
 
Never be too dependent (both physically and emotionally) on anybody. Be it parents and your loved ones. One day we all will be alone. There will be no one with us except us (and Allah ofcourse for me).

I know it's easy to preach and very difficult to implement. Still we can prepare for ourselves.:)

Do you mean after death?
 
Ofcourse that's also true but here I meant that i don't expect my (future) kids to be with me when i get old/bedridden.

Firstly you dont know if you will live to be old and even if you do, you have hopefully had a good life. Its different to someone starting their life. And im sure your kids, grandkids will be around you.
 
Firstly you dont know if you will live to be old and even if you do, you have hopefully had a good life. Its different to someone starting their life. And im sure your kids, grandkids will be around you.

Everything depends on if's and but's. I just concentrate on trying my best and keeps my expectation's low.
 
How is she getting on? Does she feel down like you?

Dnnow i rarely contact her like once or twice in a month. She is not married yet. Her engagement is done only.She will get married by the end of this year i guess to the same guy choosen by her parents. Her family is convervative and there are many family issues in her family.
Dnnow about her but i think she is ok now. And i just want to move on completly. I am ok though but i am not able to get in relation or trust any other girl right now.
It hurts alot when you sacrifice alot for someone and it tears you apart when in return you get only loneliness because of all the memories....
 
Dnnow i rarely contact her like once or twice in a month. She is not married yet. Her engagement is done only.She will get married by the end of this year i guess to the same guy choosen by her parents. Her family is convervative and there are many family issues in her family.
Dnnow about her but i think she is ok now. And i just want to move on completly. I am ok though but i am not able to get in relation or trust any other girl right now.
It hurts alot when you sacrifice alot for someone and it tears you apart when in return you get only loneliness because of all the memories....

I assume it wasn't her choice for an arranged marriage? If this is the case, then she should tell her parents to marry her to you. If she would rather keep her parents happy, then tbh she probably doesn't love you properly in the first place.
 
Never be too dependent (both physically and emotionally) on anybody. Be it parents and your loved ones. One day we all will be alone. There will be no one with us except us (and Allah ofcourse for me).

I know it's easy to preach and very difficult to implement. Still we can prepare for ourselves.:)

You are right but now i rarely depend or care for anyone.Dnnow is it good or bad but it hardly matters to me. I never ever thought i would behave like devdas or senti you cud say for someone.
I just pray and hope that i wud be alright on the day of her marriage.i am strong but i dnnow how i only trusted or get attached to that person and sacrificed my time ,my friends ,health, career for her. i dnt blame her. i blame myself only. Afterall every individual has right to choose . And the most difficult part is you have to pretend in front of everyone that you are ok and it doenst matter to you.
God has been kind to me though. God has given me everything but i still complaint and get depressed for the only thing which i am not able to get or get over from that.
 
I assume it wasn't her choice for an arranged marriage? If this is the case, then she should tell her parents to marry her to you. If she would rather keep her parents happy, then tbh she probably doesn't love you properly in the first place.

Her family is her first priority always. Its okk it happens. she doesnt have father and there are relatives and many other things as well.So i dnt blame her fully. But yeah i still think that if she was little bit more bold we cud have made it.Its okk it happens.
what else we can do. we should not try to manupulate sometimes or convince you cud say and leave it to the other person and gotta respect that person decision by wishing good luck and move on.
 
Her family is her first priority always. Its okk it happens. she doesnt have father and there are relatives and many other things as well.So i dnt blame her fully. But yeah i still think that if she was little bit more bold we cud have made it.Its okk it happens.
what else we can do. we should not try to manupulate sometimes or convince you cud say and leave it to the other person and gotta respect that person decision by wishing good luck and move on.

Yes, I suppose once someone has made up their mind, there isn't much else to do but wish them the best for the future.
 
You are right but now i rarely depend or care for anyone.Dnnow is it good or bad but it hardly matters to me. I never ever thought i would behave like devdas or senti you cud say for someone.
I just pray and hope that i wud be alright on the day of her marriage.i am strong but i dnnow how i only trusted or get attached to that person and sacrificed my time ,my friends ,health, career for her. i dnt blame her. i blame myself only. Afterall every individual has right to choose . And the most difficult part is you have to pretend in front of everyone that you are ok and it doenst matter to you.
God has been kind to me though. God has given me everything but i still complaint and get depressed for the only thing which i am not able to get or get over from that.

That's a normal thing that everyone feels at one point of their life and it's ok. Now don't fall in this love trap again except for your future wife. It's time to take care of yourself.
 
That's a normal thing that everyone feels at one point of their life and it's ok. Now don't fall in this love trap again except for your future wife. It's time to take care of yourself.

yapp thanks.You are right.
 
Clinical depression isn't the same thing as people use say it in normal life. I missed my class now i am depressed or something like that. NO, you are not depressed. Depression is serious mental disorder and can be diagnosed by using DSM criteria ( DSM 5 is the latest one, can find it on google). The screening question for depression are low mood for more than two weeks and loss of interest after that you should have atleast 5/9 sign and symptoms.
One of the reasons for depression is low level of dopamine(neurotransmitter) in the brain, then there can be role of genetics, not just depression in the family but also other mental disorders like bipolar or shizophrenia etc.
Depression is usually treated with drugs but psycotherapy helps alot. Therapy doesn't just include the patient but also the whole family.
 
These are perception-based, subjective polls - which makes me suspicious. Do they account for control variables?

The very concept of happiness is subjective so that shouldn't come as a surprise. What would the control variables in a survey of self reported happiness even be?
 
https://www.theguardian.com/comment...ont-cure-epidemic-depression-we-need-strategy

Drugs alone won't cure the epidemic of depression. We need strategy

Mark Rice-Oxley

It’s become as inevitable as the rise and rise of global temperatures or the perennial high-water mark of examination grades: another year, another record number of antidepressants dispensed by doctors up and down the country. This is one of those trends that should be both celebrated and castigated in equal measure. Celebrated, because at last we found something that can help some people deal with an insidious, depleting, often ruinous clinical condition. Castigated because if antidepressants are the answer, we’re not asking the right question.

First, the good bit. Contrary to what detractors may say, antidepressants are not addictive and there is no tolerance effect. They are not like benzodiazapines or opioids – you don’t need more and more of them to obtain the same level of relief. Theoretically, you can sit quite comfortably on the same dose for ever, though it should also be noted that there is little research into long-term usage of these medicines. And while it’s true that science still doesn’t quite know how they work, it is clear that they have helped a great number of people, and certainly saved lives.

But, but, but ... They are also overprescribed, the first and often only resort of the busy healthcare professional to deal with the bewildered person sitting in front of them. They don’t work for everyone. They take weeks, even months, to kick in – and the early side-effects can be awful. They should be reserved for cases of moderate to severe depression, but seem to enjoy an ever wider distribution list. And most crucially they treat symptoms, not causes, meaning that sufferers may never properly confront what has made them unwell in the first place – a vital step in order to achieve sustainable recovery.

So what are the alternatives? In my own odyssey through this valley of shadows I have mulled over three approaches.

Pals, not pills
In the dismal, early reaches of clinical depression, the sufferer wants reassurance. They may actually relish the first meetings with the GP, because they think there will be answers. There are none. Even GPs who know plenty about clinical depression have no idea how it will pan out.

The people who do are the ones who’ve been there before. Fellow travellers.

If a register could be established, GPs could prescribe hour-long buddy sessions, rather than pills, where appropriate
When children go to new schools, they are often paired up with a “buddy”, someone senior who can show them the ropes, tell them what to expect, how to play it all, the dos and don’ts. We need this for newcomers to the dark underworld of depression. We should build, perhaps in partnership with Mind or the Samaritans, a nationwide volunteer system of “buddies”, available, say, for one hour a week to coach new victims through the worst stretches, reassure them that, yes, most people recover, but that it will be very up and down.

That face to face contact, that reassurance, that human interaction would be hugely beneficial to both parties. If a functional register could be established, GPs could prescribe hour-long buddy sessions, rather than pills, where appropriate. I’d be the first to sign up.

Prevention, not cure

We make the case of prevention not cure with other illnesses: don’t smoke, you’ll get cancer. Keep fit – it will do your heart good. Eat well, don’t drink too much, wrap up warm, it’s cold outside, take your coat off, you won’t feel the benefit.

But we’re only starting to realise that the same precautions can work for mental illness. People need to know there is a serious epidemic out there, but that there are a handful of things you can do to mitigate risk: don’t try so hard, lower expectations a little, stop judging yourself, change your relationship with your thoughts. Take proper holidays, nurture your friendships, try not to worry so much about things beyond your control.

Fledgling prevention strategies have popped up in the City and in some schools, but like so much else the UK, it’s piecemeal, ad hoc, patchwork. There is no strategy, no roll-out, no universality – and there is unlikely to be a cohesive plan now that our short-termist political class is preoccupied with problems of their own making.

Back to school
I can’t help but think that this new depression epidemic is partly down to inflated expectations, to untrammelled individualism and the culture of winner takes all. The pressure to “succeed”, the urgency to validate our short lives with obvious and unambiguous “achievement”: show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser, they say. No, how about show me a winner and I’ll show you someone on the verge of cracking up.

Show me a winner and I’ll show you someone on the verge of cracking up
Of course it starts in schools, in homes, where instead of teaching our children to be flexible easygoing people, agreeable and comfortable in their own skin, we urge them to outperform, to qualify, to succeed, intoxicated by the notion of their future glory, terrified of what “failure” might mean, ignorant that overachievement brings with it very considerable risks too. Instead, we should value effort not achievement, attitude not outcome. So why not add that as a qualitative mark to a set of exam results? Instead of expending huge effort changing them from letters to different letters to numbers. After all, psychological flexibility is the best qualification a young adult could leave school with.

Of course, mental illness takes many forms and there will always be a place for medication (declaration of interest: I have taken antidepressants for several years). But the current “system” clearly doesn’t work, the drugs are just an expensive way of treading water and the costs of properly facing our mental health crisis would bankrupt the NHS several times over. We need new approaches.
 
Been there... pills, tabs, won't work. The proper cure is Salat...Islamic prayer, if your a muslim. Trust me. Been there...

Some natural remedies can help but depression won't go away completely without the help of the creator, without seeking his help by performing continues salat.

Some natural ways, are: going for early morning walks, going to green places like a nice park, mountain, waterfront/lakeside, be around people socialise with a group of close friends or people you know, drinking lots of water, take early sleep, exercise or take part in a sport, don't stay alone quiet all the time, watch comedy shows on tv with fam members around dont be in your room too much alone thinking about things obsessively. But, amongst them one of the best stress/depression reliever I've had in my experience is listening to the recitation of Holy Quran... the heart soothes, becomes soft and tranquil. One of the sayings of Hazrat Ali (ra) 4th Caliph of Islam, "The words of Allah are the medicine of the heart". It's a big remedy to clear/relief depression, if you ask me. But of cause if your non muslim, follow it if you want or if not, do the things mentioned at top going early morning walks, green places, activity/exercise, don't stay alone too much in room, etc
 
Been there... pills, tabs, won't work. The proper cure is Salat...Islamic prayer, if your a muslim. Trust me. Been there...

Some natural remedies can help but depression won't go away completely without the help of the creator, without seeking his help by performing continues salat.

Some natural ways, are: going for early morning walks, going to green places like a nice park, mountain, waterfront/lakeside, be around people socialise with a group of close friends or people you know, drinking lots of water, take early sleep, exercise or take part in a sport, don't stay alone quiet all the time, watch comedy shows on tv with fam members around dont be in your room too much alone thinking about things obsessively. But, amongst them one of the best stress/depression reliever I've had in my experience is listening to the recitation of Holy Quran... the heart soothes, becomes soft and tranquil. One of the sayings of Hazrat Ali (ra) 4th Caliph of Islam, "The words of Allah are the medicine of the heart". It's a big remedy to clear/relief depression, if you ask me. But of cause if your non muslim, follow it if you want or if not, do the things mentioned at top going early morning walks, green places, activity/exercise, don't stay alone too much in room, etc

Beautiful.

The quicker more and more people realize this, the better.
 
I have been quite depressed lately.I don't like the career I am currently in and would like to go for something else which has been a dream of mine since childhood but just can't seem to gather enough strength and determination to study hard consistently for a year and then wait for a miracle to get selected as a lot of luck factor is involved too in that exam.
My social life is almost non existent.I have cut down on drinking but it isn't helping at all and I find myself staring at the computer screen all day leaving the bedroom for washroom only.
Its as if everything is over and I just wanna sleep and never wake up again.
Life sucks.

TM Bro, Check this out.;-)

 
Has anybody suffered from depression? Did you find a cure?

Depression was the reason why I got into bodybuilding. Used to have suicidal thoughts and nightmares before.

If anything, I found that practicing religion worsened my depression.

I also got lucky because I had amazing friends who supported me through all this. I consider them more than family.
 
Depression was the reason why I got into bodybuilding. Used to have suicidal thoughts and nightmares before.

If anything, I found that practicing religion worsened my depression.

I also got lucky because I had amazing friends who supported me through all this. I consider them more than family.

Good for you man.

I been experiencing similar things but for me just motivating myself to go to the gym or even staying focused while at the gym is a challenge, it's like I'm going through the motions not gaining anything out of it. This wasn't the case 4-5 years ago.

Also it's interesting you say religion got you more depressed, I feel like for me my depression coincided with with me getting less religious and kinda losing my faith. It's like nothing has purpose anymore and you're just own your own.
 
Good for you man.

I been experiencing similar things but for me just motivating myself to go to the gym or even staying focused while at the gym is a challenge, it's like I'm going through the motions not gaining anything out of it. This wasn't the case 4-5 years ago.

Also it's interesting you say religion got you more depressed, I feel like for me my depression coincided with with me getting less religious and kinda losing my faith. It's like nothing has purpose anymore and you're just own your own.

You'll start liking the gym once you start seeing the progression. I don't like talking about religion just because it's a sensitive topic, hopefully, you can see where I'm going with this.
 
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You'll start liking the gym once you start seeing the progression. I don't like talking about religion just because it's a sensitive topic, hopefully, you can see where I'm going with this.

Appreciate the help and motivation. Your progress is quite inspiring.

I know what you mean about religion but for me losing faith was liking motivation and I guess for many that belief in a higher power/ personal G-d is was what keeps them going or like somebody said, it's opium for the masses.

Anyhow I appreciate your advice.
 
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My wife got depression the first time she moved over to US with me. She was a practicing doctor back home, and living all alone at home was too much for her initially. She recovered immediately when she could start work.

Idle mind does great harm. It's best to keep yourself engaged in something meaningful.
 
Nobody can explain the depressive feelings. Not even the person who experiences it. A lot of times you dont even know what is causing it.

The people who experience it know what it does to them. The people who dont experience it, well some of them say they understand how it feels (they really dont) and some of them say it's effects are exaggerated by the sufferer which isnt true in genuine cases.
 
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