What's new

Do you ever feel discriminated against by Desis because of how you sound??

A

AmirFutureWasim

Tape Ball Star
Joined
Mar 18, 2015
Runs
703
This is a question for the Desis with 100% fluency when it comes to speaking English.
---------------------------------------------
For some context, I grew up in Ontario and spent a lot of my time from when I was born to when I was 12 away from my family. Dad was weird, and he knew it so he was okay with it. Had "very stereotypically Canadian" neighbours who were "good people" as my dad says. They had two kids, and one was the same age as me. So basically his life was playing hockey, watching hockey, playing some more hockey, going to the park, etc. - very stereotypical.

Problem is I only associated with this kid and his friends because I had terrible social skills so naturally I spoke/speak (I've worked on it but it's still a work in progress) in a very stereotypical "Canadian hockey kid" manner - which is sort of a different language. When I went to Pakistan for a year (was 12), I was always told "ziada angrazi na jhaar" etc. etc. but that was understandable. I started trying to integrate a lot more desi culture into my life ever since. Since I got back, I've noticed the biggest issue has always been in my interactions with fellow desis in Canada.
---------------------------------------------
Every conversation I try to have with friends I'm told about how "white" I sound even for a guy who's been here his whole life and how they wouldn't be able to tell I was desi over the phone. I find this pretty insulting because although I'm not a patriot per say (I find savagely arguing about pieces of land immature), I still identify as a Pakistani and that's what I tell people if they ever ask. To top it off, my parents believe I am too "whitewashed" (or as you british folks call it apparently, "burger") and need to have more desi friends.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? I'm working on speaking with a very slight accent so people can stop accusing me of being whitewashed. It's tough to adopt it though. Even at Masjids if I speak too much people sometimes give me weird looks so I try to say very little or speak very quietly. How do any of you in a similar situation deal with this?
 
For what it's worth, I briefly served as a lecturer in Pakistan before moving to the U.S. My colleagues and students later got to work with my classmates and friends.

I later heard that the other lecturers and the students all complained that I used too much English. The exact phrase was "Angrezi bohot maarta hai." I don't think they meant it as a double entendre, just that the implication was that I was trying to show off, which I wasn't. The textbooks were in English, as were the exams, and the medium of instruction was officially English, so I used it.

On the other hand, here on PP they think I use too much Urdu to show off my prowess in that language.
 
AmirFutureWasim said:
This is a question for the Desis with 100% fluency when it comes to speaking English.
---------------------------------------------
For some context, I grew up in Ontario and spent a lot of my time from when I was born to when I was 12 away from my family. Dad was weird, and he knew it so he was okay with it. Had "very stereotypically Canadian" neighbours who were "good people" as my dad says. They had two kids, and one was the same age as me. So basically his life was playing hockey, watching hockey, playing some more hockey, going to the park, etc. - very stereotypical.

Problem is I only associated with this kid and his friends because I had terrible social skills so naturally I spoke/speak (I've worked on it but it's still a work in progress) in a very stereotypical "Canadian hockey kid" manner - which is sort of a different language. When I went to Pakistan for a year (was 12), I was always told "ziada angrazi na jhaar" etc. etc. but that was understandable. I started trying to integrate a lot more desi culture into my life ever since. Since I got back, I've noticed the biggest issue has always been in my interactions with fellow desis in Canada.
---------------------------------------------
Every conversation I try to have with friends I'm told about how "white" I sound even for a guy who's been here his whole life and how they wouldn't be able to tell I was desi over the phone. I find this pretty insulting because although I'm not a patriot per say (I find savagely arguing about pieces of land immature), I still identify as a Pakistani and that's what I tell people if they ever ask. To top it off, my parents believe I am too "whitewashed" (or as you british folks call it apparently, "burger") and need to have more desi friends.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? I'm working on speaking with a very slight accent so people can stop accusing me of being whitewashed. It's tough to adopt it though. Even at Masjids if I speak too much people sometimes give me weird looks so I try to say very little or speak very quietly. How do any of you in a similar situation deal with this?
Click to expand...

First world problems !

Or to make you feel a little better , pehli dunia ke masaail .
 
I have a friend who is in a similar position as you OP. He was born in the US, and then lived in the middle east for about 18 years, so he pretty much spoke English 24/7, even with his parents. As a result he spoke broken urdu. He was my best friend so naturally I teased him about it, but it was all just good fun. Sometimes he'd even ask me for the english to urdu translation of certain words when he was trying to flirt with a Pakistani/Indian girl over text. He was comfortable in his own skin and knew the teasing of his urdu skills by his friends was just teasing and not an attack on his character.

Alhamdullilah for me, I have the best of both worlds. Spent few years in Pakistan, and even when I went abroad, ammi and abba are urdu medium, so my urdu skills got honed on their own. Of course watching the odd quality drama on TV helped too. Then ofc since I was enrolled in an international school, had to be a decent to good English speaker too. Had a terribly thick accent whenever I was in grade 6 and had just moved from Pakistan, but then eventually shed that accent and can sound "white" as you put it.

Only shortcoming of mine is, while I can speak urdu fluently, even throwing in all sorts of muhavare in day to day talk, I can't write urdu except for my name and have difficulty reading it. Completely exposed on that front...
 
Suleiman said:
I have a friend who is in a similar position as you OP. He was born in the US, and then lived in the middle east for about 18 years, so he pretty much spoke English 24/7, even with his parents. As a result he spoke broken urdu. He was my best friend so naturally I teased him about it, but it was all just good fun. Sometimes he'd even ask me for the english to urdu translation of certain words when he was trying to flirt with a Pakistani/Indian girl over text. He was comfortable in his own skin and knew the teasing of his urdu skills by his friends was just teasing and not an attack on his character.

Alhamdullilah for me, I have the best of both worlds. Spent few years in Pakistan, and even when I went abroad, ammi and abba are urdu medium, so my urdu skills got honed on their own. Of course watching the odd quality drama on TV helped too. Then ofc since I was enrolled in an international school, had to be a decent to good English speaker too. Had a terribly thick accent whenever I was in grade 6 and had just moved from Pakistan, but then eventually shed that accent and can sound "white" as you put it.

Only shortcoming of mine is, while I can speak urdu fluently, even throwing in all sorts of muhavare in day to day talk, I can't write urdu except for my name and have difficulty reading it. Completely exposed on that front...
Click to expand...

Which international school is that?
 
I speak Urdu with an american accent and have felt discriminated in Pakistan, but now I've toned down my accent.
 
I speak Urdu with an american accent and have felt discriminated in Pakistan, but now I've toned down my accent.
 
The English accent of Pakistanis is fine and never irritating. Most Pakistanis don't sound like they are artificial. However the English accent of Indians is hilarious and irritating. Sounds artificial.
 
What I hate the most is when older desis think you don't know Urdu and that your whitewashed. All assumption. They start talking in English even when you know Urdu. I have what you can call the typical west coast accent. In Pakistan people are more accustomed to British English so they find the American accent a bit funny (just experience). It's funny cause my British cousins make fun of my accent too and how we say words like mom and hella.
 
m3nation said:
What I hate the most is when older desis think you don't know Urdu and that your whitewashed. All assumption. They start talking in English even when you know Urdu. I have what you can call the typical west coast accent. In Pakistan people are more accustomed to British English so they find the American accent a bit funny (just experience). It's funny cause my British cousins make fun of my accent too and how we say words like mom and hella.
Click to expand...

Hella nice post, dude. Like, totally rad.
 
me myself is Punjabi, but I think Punjabis are most racist people and have a lot of problems if you answer the Punjabi question in Urdu or cant speak Punjabi.

Anyways I love Urdu (I also like Punjabi as a language) and speak urdu if even a single person in group cannot speak Punjabi.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I'm a Brit. I'm an urban Londoner. I'm a Brightonian. Every environment has a socially constructed dialect.

Now when you're an ethnic minority, the thing to remember is that you're a part of multiple communities. One key skill I've truly understood over the last 3-5 years through experimentation is that we are bilingual and adaptable. We don't actually realise just how many traits and nuances we gather from the influence of the people we surround ourselves with regularly.

When I speak Urdu, regardless of the accuracy of my vocabulary and pronounciation, my accent completely gives away my London upbringing. Yet, through pronounciation, you can avoid sounding like a typical Englishman trying to speak Urdu while using exactly the same vocal chords they use to speak English. Adapting your vocal chords to the normality of the language is a key ingredient.

Now, I don't know how many people are aware of this, but in urban areas of London there is a subculture that's heavily influenced by American slums and Jamaican culture which has created its own dialect and language. It's street language ultimately and is very prevalent in people born and bred among urban London youth. It's not standard English. The reason I bring this up is that I've been heavily subjected to this style of discourse over many years (being from East London), but ended up going to University in a different city entirely where people from all over the world were attending. At this point I actually went through a strange old confusing struggle to understand that it was time to well and truly leave that subculture behind.

One of the things that I remembered was that as a British born Pakistani, I'm already happy to be a part of multiple communities and it was now time to add one more to it. The next challenge was bringing my true personality into standard English and embracing it with pure natural class and positivity. I felt this was key to bringing about my best and most well-rounded social experiences here in Sussex and can hopefully hold me in good stead for the rest of my life.

So in regards to the original post in this thread, my simple anecdote is to say that adapting to all your different environments and sounding different in each when doing so is completely part and parcel of the process. It's a natural thing and is the only way you can comfortably transfer between from one language (or sub language) to another. You are still being yourself but you are simply transforming for the audience. Don't use the exact same chords to speak a different language. Try to understand the audience tones and make a few changes yourself. You will feel very positive doing so too. After I did it, I felt like I could befriend the entire international spectrum.

Anyone who looks at your approach negatively from there has simply not got to that stage where they've even spoken to enough different nationalities and backgrounds of people to realise this. Or they could just be plain ignorant in their ways lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

sweep_shot
As you grow older, do you become more fearless?
Replies
13
Views
167
Bhaijaan
Bhaijaan
Slim
Ethnic enclaves in the west poisoning the society
Replies
13
Views
445
iPakistani
iPakistani
mominsaigol
Pakistan Fans, Honest Question: How would you feel if Babar Azam & Mohammad Rizwan were to make their return to the Pakistani side?
2
Replies
119
Views
3K
mominsaigol
mominsaigol
sweep_shot
How do you deal with rude co-workers?
Replies
24
Views
754
The Bald Eagle
The Bald Eagle
The Bald Eagle
"Win is a win, no matter who you win against, if we lose to these teams, then we get criticized too": Hassan Ali
Replies
21
Views
1K
ravisurya
R
Back
Top