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Funniest cricket quotes you have heard

brute

brute

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Joined
Apr 24, 2015
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167
Brian Johnston :

There’s Neil Harvey standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle

Richie Benaud

There are a lot of hookers around the world
That slow motion replay doesn’t show how fast the ball was travelling.

Rameez Raja

Misbah looked cool from exterior, don’t know about interior.

Those throbbing balls are below 115

Praveen Kumar has an experienced hand

Hafeez is pushing smoothly. His partner Jamshed is satisfied today


Brian Lara has just been hit in the box by a Steve Waugh delivery. David Gower picks up the commentary before the next ball.
“Brian Lara faces Steve Waugh…one ball left”
 
Rameez again :

A very good package, Virat Kohli.

These two showed how to do it safely! This partnership is an example of how to do it safely.

Mike Haysman :
That's a awkward position to be in".

Brad Hogg was bowling well, and we know he is crafty with his tongue actions in a match. The female commentator:

"When he bowls well his tongue usually goes everywhere... "

When Billy Bowden gave out with his usual crooked finger, Commentator (Mark Nicholas I think) says - Bowden is never Erect, I have always wondered what is the reason behind that bend :)

There were 3 cheer girls playing some small games by clapping, holding their hands (fingers)etc, during their resting time.

Sunil gawaskar : murali karthik, what are they playing ?
Danny morrison : why are u asking him ?
Sunil gawaskar : bcoz he is a spinner, he is good at playing with his fingers.
 
Rahul Dravid and Shoiab Akhtar commentating in hindi

Akhtar : "Pakistan ab Afridi pe dependant hai"

Dravid : "Bahut kharab situation hai agar aap Afridi pe dependant hai toh"
 
Harsha Bhogle on Misbah ul Haq after shoaib akhtar and his countrymen criticized him:
I find this criticism of misbah very strange, its like a family of ten complaining that the sole breadwinner is not doing enough.

Harsha again:

Misbah is rated far higher outside Pakistan than within. Afridi is rated far higher in Pakistan than outside!
 
Ahmed Shehzad is more talented than Sachin - Razzaq.

Lol.
 
brute said:
Rahul Dravid and Shoiab Akhtar commentating in hindi

Akhtar : "Pakistan ab Afridi pe dependant hai"

Dravid : "Bahut kharab situation hai agar aap Afridi pe dependant hai toh"
Click to expand...

Dravid may have a boring voice but he is definitely one of the most humorous cricketers.

He even managed to troll SRK by making fun of KKR :P
 
i remember that Misbah one, and that was a really big indirect insult to Shoaib Akhtar and other Pakistani Commies
 
From [MENTION=190]OZGOD[/MENTION]s post in the Shane Watson thread :)))

Watson was interviewed by ABC Grandstand's Jim Maxwell after stumps today.

"You were looking good. What happened?" asks Jim Maxwell.

"I got out again," says Shane Watson.
 
Major said:
i remember that Misbah one, and that was a really big indirect insult to Shoaib Akhtar and other Pakistani Commies
Click to expand...
Haye!

U and ur obsession. I wonder what would HV happened had u been a girl, ohh wait.... R u?
 
Any Imran Khan quote related to the talent in Pakistan.
 
Mamoon said:
Any Imran Khan quote related to the talent in Pakistan.
Click to expand...

No mamoon, not again.
Leave the old man, he may not be smart at politics but he doesn't deserve this hate for what he has provided this country on his own inititative
 
brute said:
Rahul Dravid and Shoiab Akhtar commentating in hindi

Akhtar : "Pakistan ab Afridi pe dependant hai"

Dravid : "Bahut kharab situation hai agar aap Afridi pe dependant hai toh"
Click to expand...

This made me laugh, funny but 100% bona fide.
 
axl100mph said:
No mamoon, not again.
Leave the old man, he may not be smart at politics but he doesn't deserve this hate for what he has provided this country on his own inititative
Click to expand...

Not hating. It's a thread about funny cricket related quotes and I find those funny.
 
Rameez has the most interesting and memorable use of adjectives.

He once called Shafiq an 'organized article'. :raja
 
Mamoon said:
Rameez has the most interesting and memorable use of adjectives.

He once called Shafiq an 'organized article'. :raja
Click to expand...

He really works hard at trying to get those cheesy phrases together instead of focussing onwhat goes on Pakistan cricket and therefore educating the viewers with analysis.
Just a clear case of playing to the gallery. Shaving of the moustache and growing his hair r also indicattive of his aims.

I guess its worked out for him quite well, hence the IPL gigs :gayle
 
Barragan said:
:)))

The best one.
Click to expand...
Oh god I so wish it was true.

But unfortunately Brian Johnston of TMS fame never said that. The phrase came from a letter sent to Johnston, which was then read out on air.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D0a-FOoM9ms" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
honeybadger said:
Click to expand...

Ranjit Fernando :)))

I'll nominate the infamous "he couldn't get his leg over" moment between Agnew-Johnston. "Aggers for goodness sake stop it" :)))

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2aIagPztV-s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
India's 9th wicket fell, the No.11, Narendra Hirwani is
walking out to bat. The commentator (Ian Chappell)
asks Harsha whether Hirwani can bat. Harsha says:
"If you make a team with all the No.11s of all the teams, Hirwani
would still come at No.11 in the line up"
 
Bopara has been bottling run chases since 2007, very mentally weak cricketer.
 
axl100mph said:
He really works hard at trying to get those cheesy phrases together instead of focussing onwhat goes on Pakistan cricket and therefore educating the viewers with analysis.
Just a clear case of playing to the gallery. Shaving of the moustache and growing his hair r also indicattive of his aims.

I guess its worked out for him quite well, hence the IPL gigs :gayle
Click to expand...

Yes, but he is an interesting character. I personally like his commentary, people don't like him here much because he is a not a conspiracy theorist and doesn't play the victim card.
 
There is another brilliant quote but it's really obscene, can't share it. It is on the Time Pass section though. :asif
 
Jafrullah Sharafat (Bangladeshi commentator )in ICC trophy match doing commentary in Bengali: It has been a cloudy outfield and muddy sky all day long in kualalampur.
 
" I would say the difference between the two side is the fielding. England are all-round a good fielding side. I do believe that India have few...3 or 4 very good fielders and one or two donkeys in the field still " - :nasser
 
It will be fun to watch Boycott commentate on Hafeez v Anderson next summer in England . . . . roobish. :boycott
 
Inzamam-Ul-Huq, when he was the Captain, was asked, " How he mages to win so many Tosses " ?? He replied, " I practice a lot ".
 
Sadevdesai said:
Inzamam-Ul-Huq, when he was the Captain, was asked, " How he mages to win so many Tosses " ?? He replied, " I practice a lot ".
Click to expand...

After winning Man of the Series an interviewer asks a 19 year old Abdul Razzaq "Where does Abdul Razzaq go from here??"
Razzaq replies with "Ummm....Lahore??"
 
Mohammad Akram- thats right Fawad give the strike to Razzaq. Said it in a really creepy tone it was in the 2010 SA ODI series in UAE.
 
Rod Marsh to Ian Botham: How is your wife and my kids ?
Ian Botham to Rod Marsh : Wife is fine, but the kids are retarded
 
Shastri: "If you can play well as you can talk, you wouldn't be the 12th man" :yk2
 
Major said:
learn to type properly, or dont post at all
Click to expand...

Too bad that u r still fixated at that kindergarten level.


Do u also tell ur friends, 'IF ANY', to not text u in cyber language or do u tell them to write u letters? :wg:don
 
He shouldn't be allowed to officiate in school cricket - Bob Willis about Daryl Harper.
 
axl100mph said:
Too bad that u r still fixated at that kindergarten level.


Do u also tell ur friends, 'IF ANY', to not text u in cyber language or do u tell them to write u letters? :wg:don
Click to expand...

Pakpassion doesnt all such vocabulary dont you know the rules around here?
 
Markhor said:
Oh god I so wish it was true.

But unfortunately Brian Johnston of TMS fame never said that. The phrase came from a letter sent to Johnston, which was then read out on air.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D0a-FOoM9ms" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Click to expand...

It was basically a joke by someone and LOL at the person who wrote it.
 
McGrath to Edo Brandes;

McGrath: why are you so fat?

Brandes: Because everytime I F**k your wife, she gives me a biscuit.


Tony Cozier and Geoff Boycott discuss Carl Hooper getting out LBW without offering a shot.

Boycs: He's just lazy

Cozier: He just slept a lot as a child.

Boycs: His mother might tell him that but I won't.

Ranatunga's reply to being labelled fat by Shane Warne;

"I come from a civilisation that is 5000 years old, we all know where they come from."
 
Another 20 days and you can apply for citizenship.

MS Dhoni sums up India's four-month long stay in Australia

I am happy they [England] gave us [India] the game of cricket, which they can't play very well, and the English language, which I can't speak very well.

Former India captain Kapil Dev gets cheeky after receiving a lifetime achievement award at the House of Lords from the Indo-European Business Forum
 
James Ormond came out to bat in a match with Australia. Mark Waugh, at slip, let rip: "What are you doing out here? You're too sh*t to play for England!" Ormond replied: "Maybe so, but at least I'm the best player in my family".
:bumble2
Needless to say the drinks had a lot of ice to cool down the burn
 
Ian Botham once returned from a Pakistan tour derogatorily saying that it was a place where "you'd want your mother in law to go"

When Botham faced Pakistan and was dismissed, Aamer Sohail came up to him and said "Who's next - your mother in law ?"

:))
 
Markhor said:
Ian Botham once returned from a Pakistan tour derogatorily saying that it was a place where "you'd want your mother in law to go"

When Botham faced Pakistan and was dismissed, Aamer Sohail came up to him and said "Who's next - your mother in law ?"

:))
Click to expand...
Hilarious lol
 
During an ODI match between India and Australia a naked man runs streaking on the field.
Richie Benaud: "we don't know yet if it is a boy or a girl streaker"
Mark Nicholas: "It was a male Rich"
2 balls later.
Mark Nicholas:" How about these games of cricket. You can't keep your eyes off for a single ball"
Benaud: "In that case...I'll take your word for it. It was a male."
 
In a test match between England and Pakistan a new ball is given to the fielding Pakistan team.
Holding: "I always like to have the option of having 2 balls..............cricket balls that is.."
 
Some good ones from Sidhu -

Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!

This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain T&T "Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands."


The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.


There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over.


This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados."Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope."


Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide


Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
 
A few days after his marriage Umar Gul is playing his first International match. After a couple of overs Umar Gul started limping.
Mohammad Akram in the commentary box:
Gul has just got married recently so it wont be a surprise if he is cramping this quickly....for obvious reasons
 
Some Harsha quotes -

1. Geoffrey Boycott once said Sachin may be a great batsman but he never got his name at the Lord's honours boards.....
So whose loss is it ? Sachin’s or the honour’s board

2. Explaining how Cheteshwar Pujara is a fine Test player but the T20 format doesn't suit him.......
Pujara is a classical musician in the era of Yo Yo Honey Singh

3. When Michael Clarke got caught at slip but was still waiting for the umpire’s decision......
I think he is waiting for tomorrow’s newspaper to declare him out

4. When India's 11th man, Varun Aaron, was coming into bat..............
Cricket is the only sport in the world where you are absolutely horrible at something and you still need to go out and do it

5. While co-commentating with Rahul Dravid in a Test match that India was losing to England...
The only man who can save the match is the one sitting next to me.

6. After a diving Kieron Pollard could not take a catch…
If pollard cant reach it, then its not a catch

7. After Joe Root attempted a reverse sweep and got out.......
This is the new disease in ODIs called reversesweepitis

8. When Naseer Hussain tried to take a dig at India not playing at the FIFA World Cup...........
Well nasir, our boys decided not to participate in the world cup instead of getting knocked out in the first round without winning a game.

10. When Sachin was coming in to bat in a Test match...........
Eruption of joy at a fall of an Indian wicket would mean only one thing..
 
Chris Gayle is batting and smacking the bowlers to all parts, hitting six after six.. then one gets caught by a spectator... the commentator (I think it was Danny Morrison) says:

"Goodness gracious me, its times like this when the fielders become the spectators and the spectators become the fielders!! " :)
 
India vs WI 92 WC.

Indian bowling attack was taken to the cleaners.
Prabharkar was brought into the attack and he was smacked all over the place as well.
Kapil walks up to him and having a word in utter confusion. The commentator (I think it was Benaud) goes,

**** "I am not sure if Kapil is giving advice or taking one?" ****


Mbangwa's electrying reaction when Afridi hit that six to Tsotsobe.

** "OH, Goodness me! Where did that go? IT'S OUT OF BLOMFENTIEN" ***


Ian Smith (Who I think is THE BEST commentator today) to his fellow commentator, I think it was Simon Douall, who was having sort of racial and very basied rant.

*** You got stones in your head. ****

And then obviously, Sidhu has some memorable ones.

A few of my favorites are:

** Statistics are like mini skirts, they reveal more than what they hide. **

** Deep Das Gupta is as confused as child is in a topless bra. **

** He (Tendulkar) is like a one legged man in bum kicking competition. **

** Kumble's bowling at the moment is as flat as a dosa. **

** Sri Lankar score is running like an Indian Taxi meter. **

** There is a light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over. **
 
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