How many of you are misfits in your family in a particular aspect?

[street cricketer]

While we all love our respective families, we all might not necessarily be on the same wavelength with the rest of the family members in certain aspects. It is not uncommon to see a misfit in a family in a particular aspect. Sometimes you see one guy taking up sports or extracurricular activities in a family full of scholars or a lone vegetarian in a family of meat eaters and things like that.

In my case, all my family members are very religious and disciplined when it comes to religious matters. I never was overly religious even as a child but used to do the prayers. I then moved to a boarding school and probably got influenced by one or two friends with rationalist ideas and that along with the questions in my own head probably pushed me towards agnoism. My family knows I'm not a very religious guy and hardly ever visit the temples on my own. Yet I visit the temples when we visit it as a family and do the prayers on festivals so as not to disappoint them, even if I don't follow the religious customs like the rest of my family members who follow it diligently. They advise me every now and then on the virtues of religion but they deep inside know that I won't ever be as religious as them.

So any of you guys are misfits in your family in any particular aspect? What's your story of it?

 

[Slog]

I'm sure the 'not being as religious as parents and family' aspect is a common theme everywhere

With me I guess my family and some Pakistani friends don't how and why I became involved in activities such as rowing and skiing which are virtually unheard of in Karachi and not even remotely tried by anyone in the family whereas I'm at a good level in both

 

[Nostalgic]

With me I guess my family and some Pakistani friends don't how and why I became involved in activities such as rowing and skiing which are virtually unheard of in Karachi and not even remotely tried by anyone in the family whereas I'm at a good level in both

Same here, except in my case they comment on my woodworking. It is unheard of, in Pakistani upper-middle class households, for anyone to indulge in such a hobby. They've only ever bought furniture, or had it custom built, and they can't fathom anyone wanting to do it themselves. My relatives in the US are appreciative, but the ones in Pakistan actually make snide remarks about it, the insinuation being that I'm so much worse off than I was in Pakistan that I've had to resort to making things myself, because I can't afford to buy them anymore.

 

[Syed1]

Being less religious than parents is a common trait amongst desi families, similarly your children will be even less religious than you. It is an inevitable process, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which way you look at it).


My family is a bit different in the sense that all three of my siblings and I believe in the basic tenets of Islam but do not pray regularly and skip a few fasts during Ramzaan based on work or academic requirements.

My mother is very religious and prays five times a day and we have to beg her to miss a fast if her health isn't permitting to keep one (she doesn't do hijab or abaya though).

Our father on the other hand is completely agnostic and he is usually the guy that gives the old skid-a-roo to the Tablighi types and you would find him having a laugh when he attends a Darz where the Maulvi shahab emphasizes on the more "magical" aspects of Islam. We have to tell him "Aba your are embarrassing us"

Thankfully, the kids lie somewhere in between of those two extremes.

 

[Slog]

Same here, except in my case they comment on my woodworking. It is unheard of, in Pakistani upper-middle class households, for anyone to indulge in such a hobby. They've only ever bought furniture, or had it custom built, and they can't fathom anyone wanting to do it themselves. My relatives in the US are appreciative, but the ones in Pakistan actually make snide remarks about it, the insinuation being that I'm so much worse off than I was in Pakistan that I've had to resort to making things myself, because I can't afford to buy them anymore.

Did you start this hobby in US or did you have an interest in Pakistan aswell?

Yes quite a few people do it and they actually had it as classes in elementary and middle school where they had this interest. In Pakistan you would exactly get the response you allude to if someone picked woodworking or similar activities as a hobby

In Pakistan no kid would even ever be exposed to it (unless as a profession) or other activities so even finding hobbies and interests such as these is virtually impossible. Rowing I started in Karachi but through a friend whose father had started it in states and skiing was in US.

 

[Nostalgic]

Did you start this hobby in US or did you have an interest in Pakistan aswell?

Yes quite a few people do it and they actually had it as classes in elementary and middle school where they had this interest. In Pakistan you would exactly get the response you allude to if someone picked woodworking or similar activities as a hobby

In Pakistan no kid would even ever be exposed to it (unless as a profession) or other activities so even finding hobbies and interests such as these is virtually impossible. Rowing I started in Karachi but through a friend whose father had started it in states and skiing was in US.

I had an interest in Pakistan too, but like you said it is well nigh impossible to actually do it. Even if I had, I would've been ridiculed. I only started doing it in the US, after I had a garage with room for the workbench and the tools.

I do it because of a love for wood. It is earthy, it is organic, there are so many species with vastly differing characteristics and colors and figures, and after staring at computer screens for hours on end, the hobby gives one the satisfaction of fashioning something the old-school way: with one's hands.

 

[AlphaFighter]

In a highly conservative, ultra religious family i am the most open minded and liberal which is turning out to be a huge headache for me now.

 

[The_KING]

I'm also not as religious as the rest of my family. I also don't identify with the Pakistani culture anymore unlike my parents. I hate it when my parents tell me about how things happen in Pakistan. Well I don't live in Pakistan so I don't care about how people view things or do things in Pakistan. I live in England that's my country now. Unfortunately my parents don't understand that and that makes me quite frustrated.

 

[IAJ]

Same here, except in my case they comment on my woodworking. It is unheard of, in Pakistani upper-middle class households, for anyone to indulge in such a hobby. They've only ever bought furniture, or had it custom built, and they can't fathom anyone wanting to do it themselves. My relatives in the US are appreciative, but the ones in Pakistan actually make snide remarks about it, the insinuation being that I'm so much worse off than I was in Pakistan that I've had to resort to making things myself, because I can't afford to buy them anymore.

So in words you've become 'tarkhaan'

On a serious not as long as you do that as a hobby I don't think family will mind, but if I had started that for a living my bigger family in Pakistan would have begun their talks, but why can't a jatt (in my case) start working as a plumber forn instance without listning to those talks?, we live in 21st century but still stuck in the zaat chaos.

 

[Nostalgic]

So in words you've become 'tarkhaan'

On a serious not as long as you do that as a hobby I don't think family will mind, but if I had started that for a living my bigger family in Pakistan would have begun their talks, but why can't a jatt (in my case) start working as a plumber forn instance without listning to those talks?, we live in 21st century but still stuck in the zaat chaos.

Exactly, "tarkhaan," "mistri," and "lakarhaara" were all words they used. "Oh, so you've become a tarkhaan? Do you ship to Pakistan? We want to order a dining table set," followed by some comment about it not behooving a martial race Rajput to indulge in such a thing. They don't really frown on my being an engineer, so the tarkhaan comment has much to do with the old village zameendar mentality of looking down on those other professions/castes.

 

[Mamoon]

I tend to disagree with my father and brother a lot. We have conflicting views on most things, including religion, politics etc.

On a lighter note, my immediate family's interest in cricket is zero.

 

[Rayyman]

I am quite arrogant. I think I am better than everyone in my family. Hopefully I fix this flaw of mine though.

 

[Thivagar]

I'm also not as religious as the rest of my family. I also don't identify with the Pakistani culture anymore unlike my parents. I hate it when my parents tell me about how things happen in Pakistan. Well I don't live in Pakistan so I don't care about how people view things or do things in Pakistan. I live in England that's my country now. Unfortunately my parents don't understand that and that makes me quite frustrated.

In reality, Pakistan now is probably much different than it was during your parents time. If your parents were to go back and live there for a while, they too will find that i has changed.

 

[TalentSpotterPk]

I tend to disagree with my father and brother a lot. We have conflicting views on most things, including religion, politics etc.

On a lighter note, my immediate family's interest in cricket is zero.

You are a good Baaghee

 

[Pakistanian]

I'm different from my fam and extended fam cause there's very little culturally Pakistani about me. I grew up with white and Hispanic people, have white roommates, mostly watch American movies and listen to American music except for the occasional streak of Pak music. I don't eat desi food at all, haven't had biryani in a year, It's been so long since I've had a nice Pakistani dinner that I can now just tell somebody is desi by their odor cause I only eat American food so that scent is more noticeable to me now.

My ideas on marriage are also pretty controversial but I'd rather not talk more about it

 

[Pakistanian]

I also have like the thickest southern accent in my entire family except for an uncle of mines, I sound a bit like a younger version of Bill Clinton when I speak.

 

[Belawal2014]

Only my father and I have an interest in Cricket in our family.

 

[aloo paratha]

More religious than my siblings, gets awkward when I say no to watching a movie like 10 times in a row. Not as smart, at least so far, dad, brother and sister were all good in school so pressure on me, get the usual "your brother did this when he was in grade 9"

 

[WhenSultansBowled]

Nobody in my family likes/understands cricket, barring my father who used to follow it in the 80s/90s (The man rates IK, Miandad, Zaheer, Gavaskar and SRT very high). He dislikes Afridi: "his wild slogs are the reason why Pak have lost so many games over the last few years".

 

[Zak_Fan]

My family is extremely gregarious, they keep inviting people to the house and it gets annoying. I am not the same. There is a very small group of people in my life that I look forward to spending time with.

 

[DW44]

Let me be the four millionth person on this thread to say I'm not as religious as my family though it's a bit more extreme because I'm not religious, period. I find it strange that people think it's common in Pakistan to be less religious than your family because from what I've observed, people from my generation (older millenials, born in the late 80s and early 90s) tend to be far more religious than previous generations especially our parents' generation (gen Xers) who are almost tolerable with their religiosity, something that can't be said for subsequent generations. While I can't speak for Karachi or the south in general, up north it's pretty much the norm for kids to be more religious than their parents (as opposed to less, as suggested here). A slightly more unique way in which I'm a misfit in my family is that I, along with my sisters, am one of three people in my entire family(relatives etc. included) who don't speak Pushto though mine (think Inzamam's English but not as bad) isn't as bad as the other two (zero working knowledge of the language).