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My cousin got victimised by a fraud marriage

Anwar_194

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Guys,
One of my younger cousins got married to a guy and later after a day of marriage they found out that the guy lied about education, job and past. He has been arrested for drug usage and have no education.

I want to know what is that one can do in such situation? is there anything can be done beside just a divorce? I want to penalize this person as much as I can..Any criminal charges?
 
Guys,
One of my younger cousins got married to a guy and later after a day of marriage they found out that the guy lied about education, job and past. He has been arrested for drug usage and have no education.

I want to know what is that one can do in such situation? is there anything can be done beside just a divorce? I want to penalize this person as much as I can..Any criminal charges?

A civil case can be filed for sure if you have the means and resources. Have heard of horror stories of girl and guys getting married and hiding HIV. I too be honest don't blame parents for insisting on a full thorough background investigation, plenty of scam artists and people with nefarious intentions who exploit loneliness.
 
That’s brutal. How old is she? Didn’t you guys researched about this guy? Like going to his work place and asking people about this guy?

How did you all find about his truth prior to his arrest?
 
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They did talk to him but I guess the guy is a con artist..They found out the next day caz she saw pics on his phone.
 
I'm more amazed that you guys married off the poor girl without doing a thorough background check of the guy. Bechari


I hope she is able to safely extract herself from this predicament, her family is probably of zero help because they weren't smart enough to not see what the guy was about in the first place. My sister is getting married soon, even though she has known the guy for two years he still went through a severe whetting from me and older brother. Still we are apprehensive. Larki ki shaadi mazaq nahi hoti.


Here you guys married her off to a total loser. Poor girl. This thread made me angry at how callous people can be.
 
I'm more amazed that you guys married off the poor girl without doing a thorough background check of the guy. Bechari


I hope she is able to safely extract herself from this predicament, her family is probably of zero help because they weren't smart enough to not see what the guy was about in the first place. My sister is getting married soon, even though she has known the guy for two years he still went through a severe whetting from me and older brother. Still we are apprehensive. Larki ki shaadi mazaq nahi hoti.


Here you guys married her off to a total loser. Poor girl. This thread made me angry at how callous people can be.

I agree. And on top of that, even now, the primary motive seems to be revenge ( how he could fool US!!!!) rather than putting the sanity of the girl in the first place.
 
Should’ve at least talked to the guy’s neighbors to get an idea of who he is etc, also ask him to show his diploma and whatnot.

That’s how you weed out the charsis.
 
How could her family have gotten her married off without doing a thourough background check on the guy as this is presumably an arranged marriage where the girl hasn't known the guy before.
I mean job and education etc are such basic things,you can just ask around and anybody would have told you guys about it.
All i can say is just get her out of this mess A.S.A.P.
I dont know if he can be legally punished though.
The level people can stoop to :facepalm:
 
Curiuos to know where do your cousin and her spouse live? Was it a love or arranged marriage?
 
Sorry dude, your family should have been a lot more vigilant. It's not easy to get away with lies like that these days.

Did she not talk to him before getting married? Someone like that can be clocked.
 
Most of the posts are berating the family for not being careful. Just stop with your moral science and give him a solution that he is asking for.
 
Best option is to Annul the Marriage. I don't think its illegal to lie about your job, or education. But you can keep track of his social media and if you find out he is going to get remarried let the family know about him so they can avoid it.
 
Most of the posts are berating the family for not being careful. Just stop with your moral science and give him a solution that he is asking for.

The OP hasnt posted any details of how they found the boy, whether the girls still loves him and she may also be carrying his child by now. Its like they picked some chap of the street married him into the family and then thought to ask questions or investigate who he is. Makes no sense.
 
The OP hasnt posted any details of how they found the boy, whether the girls still loves him and she may also be carrying his child by now. Its like they picked some chap of the street married him into the family and then thought to ask questions or investigate who he is. Makes no sense.

This has happened to a couple of girls in my family. Its not uncommon. If you ask around in your extended family, im sure you will have one family who either this has happened to, or they know someone who this has happened too.
 
This has happened to a couple of girls in my family. Its not uncommon. If you ask around in your extended family, im sure you will have one family who either this has happened to, or they know someone who this has happened too.

Its never happened in my family.

If you dont mind, please detail what took place in your family, who were the boys, how did the family meet them and why no real reserach was done to confirm who they are ?
 
Its never happened in my family.

If you dont mind, please detail what took place in your family, who were the boys, how did the family meet them and why no real reserach was done to confirm who they are ?

One girl's thought she was marrying an engineer, turned out the guy was working a minimum wage job.
One girl's got divorced as soon as the guy got British Citizenship, i think it might have been a few days max after.
One girl's husband was gay.

These were people that were introduced i believe through matchmakers. Well i think people trusted each other more before, but obviously now any marriage that takes place in my family, they really research the guy. These were cases from years ago.
 
One girl's thought she was marrying an engineer, turned out the guy was working a minimum wage job.
One girl's got divorced as soon as the guy got British Citizenship, i think it might have been a few days max after.
One girl's husband was gay.

These were people that were introduced i believe through matchmakers. Well i think people trusted each other more before, but obviously now any marriage that takes place in my family, they really research the guy. These were cases from years ago.

I guess you cannot forsee a persons inentions if they only want the passport, yes its not uncommon. The same with being gay, it's impossible to really know.

But the guy who was supposed to be an engineer how did he fraud the family? Did they visit his house, speak to his parents who usually pull out the graduation photo? Was he intelligent , well spoken, well dresssed, nice car, nice house etc?

I know finding a husband for many girls is difficult, I have a friend who is pretty, wealthy and in her late 20's but cant find a husband.
 
I guess you cannot forsee a persons inentions if they only want the passport, yes its not uncommon. The same with being gay, it's impossible to really know.

But the guy who was supposed to be an engineer how did he fraud the family? Did they visit his house, speak to his parents who usually pull out the graduation photo? Was he intelligent , well spoken, well dresssed, nice car, nice house etc?

I know finding a husband for many girls is difficult, I have a friend who is pretty, wealthy and in her late 20's but cant find a husband.

He lived abroad, and went to Pakistan to get a wife. His parents had a house there, the girls parents just believed that they were telling the truth since his parents were educated. This was I believe 15 years ago.
 
He lived abroad, and went to Pakistan to get a wife. His parents had a house there, the girls parents just believed that they were telling the truth since his parents were educated. This was I believe 15 years ago.

Makes sense now. People need to be very careful marrying off their daughters to someone they dont know. Just because someone is from abroad doesn't mean he is a good catch, if anything lads in Pakistan from well respected and well educated families are a much better choice. Or even somone poor with no eduction but has morals is a better choice. The amount of girls which have come over and are suffering because their foriegn husband plays around or treats them as a house maid only good for cooking ,cleaning etc is very distrubing. Im sorry to say but imo most men today are not good husband material, it'st the age we live in.
 
The sort of frauds one hears about these days are simply chilling. We had a close call in our family just a couple of years ago.

There was a proposal for my sister-in-law, that seemed imminently reasonable: the parents looked like they were decent, not to mention religious; the “boy,” as prospective grooms are known, was an engineer based in the gulf; and there was a sister who was widowed, with a child of about five.

After the initial visit from their side to ours, my in-laws went to visit them. Nothing seemed untoward, and while my father-in-law was going to find out everything about them from his more influential friends, it certainly looked like the match would take place.

At this stage, my wife thought it would be a good idea for me and her to talk to that family as well, since we were overseas and weren’t there when the visits had taken place. We talked, and since I’m an engineer myself, I asked the boy what turned out to be rather pointed questions. It emerged that he had studied under my graduate advisor, and while he really did work overseas, some of his senior colleagues were coursemates of mine. I even ended up sending him a LinkedIn invite.

A few hours after our phone call, my in-laws received a rather panicked phone call from the boy’s father, claiming that they had performed an “istikhara,” and that the istikhara recommended not going through with the match.

My in-laws were initially bitterly disappointed, but then we all put two and two together. They broke the match off mere hours after talking to me and my wife. The call had made them suspect we were on to them, or would find out about the scam they had going.

Sure enough, there was more to them than was apparent at first glance. The parents weren’t really the boy’s parents, just his partners in crime. The widowed sister was actually his first wife. The orphaned nephew was actually his son. And the four of them had engaged in previous frauds, hoodwinking well-off girls into marriage, revealing the truth afterwards, and then keeping the dowries and whatnot after the girls inevitably escaped back to their parents’.

A case was filed with the police, but I don’t know if anything became of it.
 
The sort of frauds one hears about these days are simply chilling. We had a close call in our family just a couple of years ago.

There was a proposal for my sister-in-law, that seemed imminently reasonable: the parents looked like they were decent, not to mention religious; the “boy,” as prospective grooms are known, was an engineer based in the gulf; and there was a sister who was widowed, with a child of about five.

After the initial visit from their side to ours, my in-laws went to visit them. Nothing seemed untoward, and while my father-in-law was going to find out everything about them from his more influential friends, it certainly looked like the match would take place.

At this stage, my wife thought it would be a good idea for me and her to talk to that family as well, since we were overseas and weren’t there when the visits had taken place. We talked, and since I’m an engineer myself, I asked the boy what turned out to be rather pointed questions. It emerged that he had studied under my graduate advisor, and while he really did work overseas, some of his senior colleagues were coursemates of mine. I even ended up sending him a LinkedIn invite.

A few hours after our phone call, my in-laws received a rather panicked phone call from the boy’s father, claiming that they had performed an “istikhara,” and that the istikhara recommended not going through with the match.

My in-laws were initially bitterly disappointed, but then we all put two and two together. They broke the match off mere hours after talking to me and my wife. The call had made them suspect we were on to them, or would find out about the scam they had going.

Sure enough, there was more to them than was apparent at first glance. The parents weren’t really the boy’s parents, just his partners in crime. The widowed sister was actually his first wife. The orphaned nephew was actually his son. And the four of them had engaged in previous frauds, hoodwinking well-off girls into marriage, revealing the truth afterwards, and then keeping the dowries and whatnot after the girls inevitably escaped back to their parents’.

A case was filed with the police, but I don’t know if anything became of it.
Holy crap. That’s scary.
 
It happens way too often because of the conservative mind set of our people. I remember my sister once getting a very sketchy proposal (they were very religious, or atleast pretended to be), the guy's family wanted everything done fast and when I spoke to him to ask him what he did and where he worked, he vaguely said 'bank' so I asked him for the address and went to visit but couldn't find him lol. Needless to say, rishta vetting is a very tough thing to go through, you just never know.
 
Treating marriage like something that should be gotten over with as soon as possible, especially with girls will get you this.

Staying with your potential life partner for a period of time till you feel confident enough that you want to take it to the next level is arguably better because then you have time to actually know the person.

Whether the official union works out or not in the long term is another issue but at least it would have been the persons choice and not one forced upon them.
 
The sort of frauds one hears about these days are simply chilling. We had a close call in our family just a couple of years ago.

There was a proposal for my sister-in-law, that seemed imminently reasonable: the parents looked like they were decent, not to mention religious; the “boy,” as prospective grooms are known, was an engineer based in the gulf; and there was a sister who was widowed, with a child of about five.

After the initial visit from their side to ours, my in-laws went to visit them. Nothing seemed untoward, and while my father-in-law was going to find out everything about them from his more influential friends, it certainly looked like the match would take place.

At this stage, my wife thought it would be a good idea for me and her to talk to that family as well, since we were overseas and weren’t there when the visits had taken place. We talked, and since I’m an engineer myself, I asked the boy what turned out to be rather pointed questions. It emerged that he had studied under my graduate advisor, and while he really did work overseas, some of his senior colleagues were coursemates of mine. I even ended up sending him a LinkedIn invite.

A few hours after our phone call, my in-laws received a rather panicked phone call from the boy’s father, claiming that they had performed an “istikhara,” and that the istikhara recommended not going through with the match.

My in-laws were initially bitterly disappointed, but then we all put two and two together. They broke the match off mere hours after talking to me and my wife. The call had made them suspect we were on to them, or would find out about the scam they had going.

Sure enough, there was more to them than was apparent at first glance. The parents weren’t really the boy’s parents, just his partners in crime. The widowed sister was actually his first wife. The orphaned nephew was actually his son. And the four of them had engaged in previous frauds, hoodwinking well-off girls into marriage, revealing the truth afterwards, and then keeping the dowries and whatnot after the girls inevitably escaped back to their parents’.

A case was filed with the police, but I don’t know if anything became of it.

I have heard of these scams very often. I was experimenting with these matrimonial sites to see what was out there. I found plenty of cat fishers, age liars and the final straw for me was when i got briefly interested in this girl who claimed to from a prestigious highly ranked school in Jeddah but after a 2 week period she was sending me suspicious pics, i video called her and she refused to show me her face citing shyness and her accent was plainly Urdu Medium. I tried to convince my parents to atleast lets meet them once and they flat out refused fearing that the girl and her family just looked shady. I couldn't find for her because i myself was not convinced about her or the family and we decided to move on after honestly talking about the situation.

I have heard that on matrimonial websites, there are some people who pretent to be a family but they are actually independent con-artists. Have deleted all my accounts now and now appreciate the fact that knowledge of family, background is extremely necessary and cannot be compromised upon.
 
I have heard of these scams very often. I was experimenting with these matrimonial sites to see what was out there. I found plenty of cat fishers, age liars and the final straw for me was when i got briefly interested in this girl who claimed to from a prestigious highly ranked school in Jeddah but after a 2 week period she was sending me suspicious pics, i video called her and she refused to show me her face citing shyness and her accent was plainly Urdu Medium. I tried to convince my parents to atleast lets meet them once and they flat out refused fearing that the girl and her family just looked shady. I couldn't find for her because i myself was not convinced about her or the family and we decided to move on after honestly talking about the situation.

I have heard that on matrimonial websites, there are some people who pretent to be a family but they are actually independent con-artists. Have deleted all my accounts now and now appreciate the fact that knowledge of family, background is extremely necessary and cannot be compromised upon.

Having observed the travails of numerous families looking to set up a match, it is obvious that this arena is a veritable minefield. Apparently, it really helps to have a wide social circle, so any prospective match can easily be verified: the old know-someone-who-knows-someone chain of connections. Total strangers invariably end up being frauds, and there are far too many horror stories doing the rounds these days.
 
On a lighter note, I recall the time an uncle of mine was getting engaged. The girl’s family showed up with various old aunts in tow. One of these aunts went into every room in our house, switched the lights on, and peered into the closets and bathrooms.

I found that very intrusive, but I noticed that the adults in our household were apparently perfectly comfortable with this. I later realized that lady had been looking for telltale signs of a prior marriage: clothes, toothbrushes and whatnot. I guess one cannot be too careful these days, although people who are intent on defrauding others are likely to cover their tracks when it comes to such obvious signs of a prior marriage.
 
On a lighter note, I recall the time an uncle of mine was getting engaged. The girl’s family showed up with various old aunts in tow. One of these aunts went into every room in our house, switched the lights on, and peered into the closets and bathrooms.

I found that very intrusive, but I noticed that the adults in our household were apparently perfectly comfortable with this. I later realized that lady had been looking for telltale signs of a prior marriage: clothes, toothbrushes and whatnot. I guess one cannot be too careful these days, although people who are intent on defrauding others are likely to cover their tracks when it comes to such obvious signs of a prior marriage.

The biggest red flag apparently is when there is no family history or no-one in the neighborhood knows any background or anything about a family. Biggest sign of someone covering their tracks.
 
I agree. And on top of that, even now, the primary motive seems to be revenge ( how he could fool US!!!!) rather than putting the sanity of the girl in the first place.
Yea imagine what the girl must be going through right now
 
even though she has known the guy for two years he still went through a severe whetting from me and older brother.

You probably meant vetting.

For a while I was picturing the poor guy being rubbed vigorously with a whetstone...
 
it was totally arranged marriage, the guy family also lied...It was just a BIG LIE
 
it was totally arranged marriage, the guy family also lied...It was just a BIG LIE

They duped you guys. Now your ego is hurt and want revenge cause you got fooled, other than annuling the marriage you can't do anything else. Just a lesson for everybody else: don't be stupid.
 
BRO what is wrong with you? Your and your family's primary concern should be to give support to your cousin and to get her out of that hell hole situation. Instead you're busy trying to take revenge?
 
Guys,
One of my younger cousins got married to a guy and later after a day of marriage they found out that the guy lied about education, job and past. He has been arrested for drug usage and have no education.

I want to know what is that one can do in such situation? is there anything can be done beside just a divorce? I want to penalize this person as much as I can..Any criminal charges?

You should check with a lawyer
 
Poor girl. What must she be going through?

The result of arranged marriages. Hope she gets out of this mess.
 
The sort of frauds one hears about these days are simply chilling. We had a close call in our family just a couple of years ago.

There was a proposal for my sister-in-law, that seemed imminently reasonable: the parents looked like they were decent, not to mention religious; the “boy,” as prospective grooms are known, was an engineer based in the gulf; and there was a sister who was widowed, with a child of about five.

After the initial visit from their side to ours, my in-laws went to visit them. Nothing seemed untoward, and while my father-in-law was going to find out everything about them from his more influential friends, it certainly looked like the match would take place.

At this stage, my wife thought it would be a good idea for me and her to talk to that family as well, since we were overseas and weren’t there when the visits had taken place. We talked, and since I’m an engineer myself, I asked the boy what turned out to be rather pointed questions. It emerged that he had studied under my graduate advisor, and while he really did work overseas, some of his senior colleagues were coursemates of mine. I even ended up sending him a LinkedIn invite.

A few hours after our phone call, my in-laws received a rather panicked phone call from the boy’s father, claiming that they had performed an “istikhara,” and that the istikhara recommended not going through with the match.

My in-laws were initially bitterly disappointed, but then we all put two and two together. They broke the match off mere hours after talking to me and my wife. The call had made them suspect we were on to them, or would find out about the scam they had going.

Sure enough, there was more to them than was apparent at first glance. The parents weren’t really the boy’s parents, just his partners in crime. The widowed sister was actually his first wife. The orphaned nephew was actually his son. And the four of them had engaged in previous frauds, hoodwinking well-off girls into marriage, revealing the truth afterwards, and then keeping the dowries and whatnot after the girls inevitably escaped back to their parents’.

A case was filed with the police, but I don’t know if anything became of it.

That last paragraph was something I was not expecting...
 
No:danish
I don't think that counts as a paragraph, or at least it wouldn't in school :inzi

Technically, a paragraph consists of one or more sentences, so a single-sentence paragraph is as much a paragraph as a multi-sentence one.

Anyhow, yes, the penultimate paragraph was shocking, in that my in-laws had had prior experiences where people had lied about the prospective groom’s age or education, but this was fraud on another level altogether.
 
Technically, a paragraph consists of one or more sentences, so a single-sentence paragraph is as much a paragraph as a multi-sentence one.

Anyhow, yes, the penultimate paragraph was shocking, in that my in-laws had had prior experiences where people had lied about the prospective groom’s age or education, but this was fraud on another level altogether.

Yeah I was not expecting there to be such an elaborate plan.
 
There was a proposal for my sister-in-law, that seemed imminently reasonable: the parents looked like they were decent, not to mention religious

Not sure why, but I felt let down by this, coming from a poster like you.

Not your problem, probably mine.
 
Not sure why, but I felt let down by this, coming from a poster like you.

Not your problem, probably mine.

The apparently superfluous mention of their visible piety, or the fact that I needed to comment on the prospective parents-in-law at all? If it’s the former, in our society it plays a role in how people are perceived, hence the comment. That may also explain why they chose to adopt visibly pious personas in the furtherance of the con: I’m sure they were aware of how it would help their case.
 
The apparently superfluous mention of their visible piety, or the fact that I needed to comment on the prospective parents-in-law at all? If it’s the former, in our society it plays a role in how people are perceived, hence the comment. That may also explain why they chose to adopt visibly pious personas in the furtherance of the con: I’m sure they were aware of how it would help their case.
The former.
Ok. Interpreted it as you nodding approvingly.
 
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