"My daughters are not going to be competing in public sporting activities" : Shahid Afridi

[giri26]

Pakistan cricket superstar Shahid Afridi says his four daughters will not be allowed to play sport outdoors.

In his just-released biography Game Changer, Afridi wrote that he'd made that ruling 'for social and religious reasons'.

The veteran all-rounder, who has played 398 one-day internationals for Pakistan and holds the record for most sixes in ODI history, has four daughters – Aqsa, Ajwa, Asmara and Ansha.

"Aqsa is in the 10th grade, Ansha is in the ninth. They're both great at sports and even better in academics," Afridi wrote.

"Ajwa and Asmara are the youngest and love to play dress-up. They have my permission to play any sport, as long as they're indoors. Cricket? No, not for my girls. They have permission to play all the indoor games they want, but my daughters are not going to be competing in public sporting activities.

"It's for social and religious reasons that I've made this decision and their mother agrees with me. The feminists can say what they want; as a conservative Pakistani father, I've made my decision," Afridi wrote.

The Pakistan women's cricket side, coached by New Zealand's Mark Coles, is currently playing an ICC World Championship series in South Africa and won their opening ODI after dismissing the hosts for just 63.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/crick...di-says-his-daughters-wont-play-outdoor-sport

 

[JattMaula]

Pakistan cricket superstar Shahid Afridi says his four daughters will not be allowed to play sport outdoors.

In his just-released biography Game Changer, Afridi wrote that he'd made that ruling 'for social and religious reasons'.

The veteran all-rounder, who has played 398 one-day internationals for Pakistan and holds the record for most sixes in ODI history, has four daughters – Aqsa, Ajwa, Asmara and Ansha.

"Aqsa is in the 10th grade, Ansha is in the ninth. They're both great at sports and even better in academics," Afridi wrote.

"Ajwa and Asmara are the youngest and love to play dress-up. They have my permission to play any sport, as long as they're indoors. Cricket? No, not for my girls. They have permission to play all the indoor games they want, but my daughters are not going to be competing in public sporting activities.

"It's for social and religious reasons that I've made this decision and their mother agrees with me. The feminists can say what they want; as a conservative Pakistani father, I've made my decision," Afridi wrote.

The Pakistan women's cricket side, coached by New Zealand's Mark Coles, is currently playing an ICC World Championship series in South Africa and won their opening ODI after dismissing the hosts for just 63.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/crick...di-says-his-daughters-wont-play-outdoor-sport

I'm a big fan of Lala but ..

 

[greatest]

What does he mean by indoor sports? Ludo? Snake & Ladders?..or does he mean sports which are not physically demanding for women? Or sports which are played without any spectators? Lala's autobiography is confusing as the man himself.

First he says "They're both great at sports and even better in academics". Then he mentions religion and social reasons...plus will he let them go outside and work or will it be indoor work?

Can anyone clarify on this...

 

[Madplayer]

What was the need to mention it in his book? He has written what countless fathers from subcontinent feel. However, you have to be absolutely brainless to write something like this in your book. But then again, its Afridi we are talking about.

 

[greatest]

What was the need to mention it in his book? He has written what countless fathers from subcontinent feel. However, you have to be absolutely brainless to write something like this in your book. But then again, its Afridi we are talking about.

Whatever he says even if it makes no sense or sounds crazy, we will keep on loving and admiring him. I'm wondering after this autobiography, what's next...a T.V show or a movie? He loves the limelight!

 

[Angrez Pakistani]

I see that LALA is going Kanye West lane post-retirement.

 

[Technics 1210]

First of all I think the only people who can understand where Afridi is coming from are parents with daughters themselves. Any singles or married couples without kids commenting, well, your opinion is worthless.

Secondly, being a child of someone famous has its own challenges. Constantly being in the spotlight, under scrutiny, in the news, etc etc.

 

[Gabbar Singh]

He's not a fan of women playing public sport full stop, it's not just his own daughters.

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[Zahid87]

First of all I think the only people who can understand where Afridi is coming from are parents with daughters themselves. Any singles or married couples without kids commenting, well, your opinion is worthless.

Secondly, being a child of someone famous has its own challenges. Constantly being in the spotlight, under scrutiny, in the news, etc etc.

Firstly, Afridi has not said the reason he wont allow them to play sports outdoors is to do with his fame at all - its because he is "a conservative Pakistani father", and for "social and religious reasons." So don't play that card here to defend him.

Secondly, of course people are entitled to have an opinion - he made the information public. He didn't have to. He did. That opens himself up to judgement from everyone.

As someone who believes that gender empowerment is important for any country, let alone Pakistan, to progress...his views are a bit depressing. He is a role model, there will be some uneducated, illiterate folk who will look to him as an example to follow. When they could produce someone who could earn their family some fame and money by being a professional female cricket player, they instead will be confided indoors.

 

[Technics 1210]

Firstly, Afridi has not said the reason he wont allow them to play sports outdoors is to do with his fame at all - its because he is "a conservative Pakistani father", and for "social and religious reasons." So don't play that card here to defend him.

FAME comes under SOCIAL.

 

[Zahid87]

FAME comes under SOCIAL.

I think you are clutching at straws here...his views about women, and where he thinks they belong have been cited previously.

If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, and say he means to protect his children from the press and media...fine...but I don't really buy it.

 

[Technics 1210]

Secondly, of course people are entitled to have an opinion - he made the information public. He didn't have to. He did. That opens himself up to judgement from everyone.

Yes people are entitled to an opinion, but unless they are father's with daughter's their opinions are worthless. 2 very different aspects.

As someone who believes that gender empowerment is important for any country, let alone Pakistan, to progress...his views are a bit depressing. He is a role model, there will be some uneducated, illiterate folk who will look to him as an example to follow. When they could produce someone who could earn their family some fame and money by being a professional female cricket player, they instead will be confided indoors.

The bold part is just an assumption on your part.

Sometimes parents realise their field of work may not be suited for their children. I know doctors who advise their kids to avoid the industry, I know bankers who say their working environment is fulled by drugs, booze, and women, and would never want their daughters to work in such environments. Afridi's comment have squat to do with gender empowerment.

 

[Technics 1210]

I think you are clutching at straws here...his views about women, and where he thinks they belong have been cited previously.

If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, and say he means to protect his children from the press and media...fine...but I don't really buy it.

Well you agree with me then.

Like I said, you will never understand until you have daughters of your own.

Why don't you just say what you believe? Afridi is a misogynist? Islam doesn't favour women well? Go on, this is what you really mean.

 

[Sachin136]

First of all I think the only people who can understand where Afridi is coming from are parents with daughters themselves. Any singles or married couples without kids commenting, well, your opinion is worthless.

Secondly, being a child of someone famous has its own challenges. Constantly being in the spotlight, under scrutiny, in the news, etc etc.

You do not have to be a parent to point out obvious misogyny.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

You do not have to be a parent to point out obvious misogyny.

It's obvious to those of us who were brought up in the west, in Pakistan they don't even recognise the concept of misogyny. It's right there in the OP where he says the feminists can say what they like, he's a conservative father and the girls mother agrees with him.

 

[troodon]

He said indoor sports. Tennis, Cricket and many other sports can be played in big indoor stadiums.

Whatever Afridi says has deeper meaning to it. He just does not want his daughters to get exposed to bad UV rays from the Sun.

 

[troodon]

You do not have to be a parent to point out obvious misogyny.

I remember Afridi not shaking the hand of a female during post match presentation. He is following his religion. Its his decision.

 

[Rinnegan Sasuke]

Pathetic comments from a below average player. Unfortunatley many will echo the same sentiments in this country, so not surprised. I wonder where we'd be had we not supressed the other fifty percent of our species.

 

[dhump]

This is a reality of 90% of Pakistani fathers for many valid and invalid reasons, unfortunately. I don't see this changing any time soon either I am pro female sports myself, but then I don't live in Pakistan.

 

[The_Odd_One]

I would call it child abuse. Holding back your kids from achieving big things in life just because your religion/culture told you so.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I would call it child abuse. Holding back your kids from achieving big things in life just because your religion/culture told you so.

What would you call actual child abuse then?

 

[Savak]

To be honest i dont mind Afridi taking on these ultra modern highly educated femi nazi's head on

 

[Pakistanian]

I knew a guy from Afridi's tribe that believed women shouldn't drive or go to school.

 

[from_da_lost_dim3nsion]

I can respect his opinion as long as he can respect the opinion of "Pakistani Conservative Fathers" who are cool with their daughters participating in public sports . I mean i do not agree with him but he has the right to raise his kids with his values as long as he is a loving father and providing for them.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I knew a guy from Afridi's tribe that believed women shouldn't drive or go to school.

Everyone knows that these tribes are very conservative. It won't just be Afridi's tribe either, the old NWFP province was notoriously conservative when it came to women's freedom. I would guess Imran Khan's Niazi tribe are not that much different once you get away from the major cities.

When Musharaff was PM he tried to lay down cable TV in those tribal areas and the locals kicked up a massive fuss which led to it being abandoned.

 

[The_Odd_One]

What would you call actual child abuse then?

Because these parents hold back their kids from achieving big things in life. There may be a future Steffi Graf somewhere in Pakistan who will never be able to fulfill her dream because her parents thought playing tennis is prohibited in their religion. There may be a future Marie Curie who will never win a Nobel prize.

As a parent, your responsibility is not just to feed and dress your kids as well. It extends to nurturing them, opening their minds, giving them opportunities and confidence to compete with the best, making them self-independent.

Consistently telling them what they can and they cannot do, crushing their dreams, emotional blackmailing based on parent-child relationship/culture/religion is nothing but child abuse.

 

[Hermoine Green]

Everyone is entitled to his or her views. In Pakistan there is no bright future for female sports. So as a father, i wont want my daughters to do something like this.

 

[CricketDon]

Another brain dead individual stuck I. The stone ages. Sums up Pakistani mentality

 

[from_da_lost_dim3nsion]

Because these parents hold back their kids from achieving big things in life. There may be a future Steffi Graf somewhere in Pakistan who will never be able to fulfill her dream because her parents thought playing tennis is prohibited in their religion. There may be a future Marie Curie who will never win a Nobel prize.

As a parent, your responsibility is not just to feed and dress your kids as well. It extends to nurturing them, opening their minds, giving them opportunities and confidence to compete with the best, making them self-independent.

Consistently telling them what they can and they cannot do, crushing their dreams, emotional blackmailing based on parent-child relationship/culture/religion is nothing but child abuse.

This is called parenting and yes its may sound crude but not "anyone" can do "anything" .As much and you'd like to believe that .Not every kid is gonna be a winner neither do they need to be .

 

[Junaid_ahmed]

It wouldn't be a surprise if he arrange a marriage of one of his daughter after a year or two. But this is part of the culture & traditions which he belong.

 

[KingKhanWC]

It wouldn't be a surprise if he arrange a marriage of one of his daughter after a year or two. But this is part of the culture & traditions which he belong.

You’d prefer a man making sure his daughters find boyfriends at 12 & have a intimate relationships at 13, maybe a child at 15 with the baby father nowhere to be seen ? This is also culture norm prob where you belong .?

 

[marlonbrowndo]

I see that LALA is going Kanye West lane post-retirement.

Don’t insult Ye like that. While I strongly disagree with Kanye’s current political views he is the best at what he does

 

[Junaid_ahmed]

You’d prefer a man making sure his daughters find boyfriends at 12 & have a intimate relationships at 13, maybe a child at 15 with the baby father nowhere to be seen ? This is also culture norm prob where you belong .?

No never, both are extremes & shouldn't be followed in any society. But there is also a thing 'balance'. Where girls do whatever they wants within the circle of social norms.
Furthermore I didn't criticize him, I just say what is normal in his tribe and as long as these traditions are within legal boundaries I & no one should have problem.

 

[The_Odd_One]

This is called parenting and yes its may sound crude but not "anyone" can do "anything" .As much and you'd like to believe that .Not every kid is gonna be a winner neither do they need to be .

This is the mentality that has made sure that Muslim world does not produce leaders who can change the world.

 

[Technics 1210]

No never, both are extremes & shouldn't be followed in any society. But there is also a thing 'balance'. Where girls do whatever they wants within the circle of social norms.
Furthermore I didn't criticize him, I just say what is normal in his tribe and as long as these traditions are within legal boundaries I & no one should have problem.

You think a career in sports is a social norm? Who defines the social norm?

Plus Afridi didn't forbid his daughters from playing sports, he wouldn't mind them playing indoor sports. A decision made by both him and his wife - this is balance.

 

[Technics 1210]

False equivalence. That's very different from wanting to play sports.

Nonsense. You lot are having a go at Afridi because he has set boundaries on his daughter's careers in conjunction with his wife's agreement - and call him backwards for it.

You either accept that parents apply boundaries, or they do not, and a daughter is free to do as she pleases, or is not. You cannot have it both ways.

 

[Savak]

I read a famous anecdote of a senior high ranking executive in Coca Cola who happened to be a female desi. She used to spend a lot of time at work and come home relatively late and apparently her mother admonished her and didn't care a damn about her title or life achievements. Her attitude was like "I don't care what you achieve in the outside world, when you come home you are a wife, a mother, a daughter and you should not forget your responsibilities at home".

Modern Femi Nazi's will be splits on this

 

[Sachin136]

Nonsense. You lot are having a go at Afridi because he has set boundaries on his daughter's careers in conjunction with his wife's agreement - and call him backwards for it.

You either accept that parents apply boundaries, or they do not, and a daughter is free to do as she pleases, or is not. You cannot have it both ways.

You can certainly have it both ways. For example, parents can force their kids to not eat chocolate, but can't keep them unfed.

 

[Technics 1210]

You can certainly have it both ways. For example, parents can force their kids to not eat chocolate, but can't keep them unfed.

No, what you mean is, parents can forbid chocolate, but children can still eat chocolate when their parent's are not around - like at school!

 

[Savak]

Women downplay the social benefit and how big of a role they play in society as mothers, supportive wives, housewives, looking after the house and kids in their husband's absence and working part time.

 

[from_da_lost_dim3nsion]

This is the mentality that has made sure that Muslim world does not produce leaders who can change the world.

Hhahaha ok bud!

 

[Sachin136]

No, what you mean is, parents can forbid chocolate, but children can still eat chocolate when their parent's are not around - like at school!

Not sure what that has to do with anything. You said that parents must either allow their kids to do anything (such as work in the sex industry), or restrict them however they want. But such a dichotomy doesn't exist. You can restrict your kids in certain ways (e.g. from eating chocolate), and can't in others (e.g. keeping them unfed).

Women downplay the social benefit and how big of a role they play in society as mothers, supportive wives, housewives, looking after the house and kids in their husband's absence and working part time.

However you do not get to decide what role they get to play. They may want to work full time, play a sport professionally, not have children, etc. It should be left up to them.

 

[Technics 1210]

We've already witnessed one user make a complete hash of his feeble argument by comparing love with respect.

The reality is some users see this as an opportunity to critisize Islam. This has nothing to do with Islam what so ever, but more to do with unconditional love of a daughter and their responsible upbringing.

If the comment in the OP was made by a Western Atheist/Christian, or an Eastern Hindu, then the reaction would be along the lines of - they are parents - they know best. But no, since it's a Muslim making this comment, Islam is at fault!

Why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when say Amitabh and his wife advised their daughter not to become an actress? Sticking with the Bachan's, why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when he AND his son were against Ash Rai from acting after their marriage? The list is endless.

It's downright pathetic to pin Afridi's decision on Islam.

 

[Technics 1210]

Not sure what that has to do with anything. You said that parents must either allow their kids to do anything (such as work in the sex industry), or restrict them however they want. But such a dichotomy doesn't exist. You can restrict your kids in certain ways (e.g. from eating chocolate), and can't in others (e.g. keeping them unfed).

You mentioned Chocolate. Your example is nonsensical. Keeping them unfed? We all need to eat; chocolate or no chocolate.

However you do not get to decide what role they get to play. They may want to work full time, play a sport professionally, not have children, etc. It should be left up to them.

Are you a parent? I assume not. When you are a parent, come back and I will posit the same point.

Parents can only advise, guide, lead by example, and educate their children. All Afridi said was he does not want his children to have a career in outdoor sports and you lot have a pop at him.

 

[from_da_lost_dim3nsion]

We've already witnessed one user make a complete hash of his feeble argument by comparing love with respect.

The reality is some users see this as an opportunity to critisize Islam. This has nothing to do with Islam what so ever, but more to do with unconditional love of a daughter and their responsible upbringing.

If the comment in the OP was made by a Western Atheist/Christian, or an Eastern Hindu, then the reaction would be along the lines of - they are parents - they know best. But no, since it's a Muslim making this comment, Islam is at fault!

Why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when say Amitabh and his wife advised their daughter not to become an actress? Sticking with the Bachan's, why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when he AND his son were against Ash Rai from acting after their marriage? The list is endless.

It's downright pathetic to pin Afridi's decision on Islam.

Truth bombs !

 

[troodon]

We've already witnessed one user make a complete hash of his feeble argument by comparing love with respect.

The reality is some users see this as an opportunity to critisize Islam. This has nothing to do with Islam what so ever, but more to do with unconditional love of a daughter and their responsible upbringing.

If the comment in the OP was made by a Western Atheist/Christian, or an Eastern Hindu, then the reaction would be along the lines of - they are parents - they know best. But no, since it's a Muslim making this comment, Islam is at fault!

Why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when say Amitabh and his wife advised their daughter not to become an actress? Sticking with the Bachan's, why is it not India's/Hinduism's fault when he AND his son were against Ash Rai from acting after their marriage? The list is endless.

It's downright pathetic to pin Afridi's decision on Islam.

He knew his daughter Shweta Nanda is ugly and will never survive in Bollywood.

 

[Savak]

Even Sanjay Dutt refused to allow his daughters from pursuing Bollywood as a career because he knows how tough it is, he already did the hard work and has the resources to support them into doing something else.

Its like legendary boxers. They took the punches, damage in the ring so that their future generations don't have too and with their wealth, inheritence they have the means to pursue other noble fields.

 

[Thomaskutty]

It's downright pathetic to pin Afridi's decision on Islam.

He's specifically mentioned he won't let his daughters play for religious reasons unlike Amitabh Bachhan.

 

[Technics 1210]

He's specifically mentioned he won't let his daughters play for religious reasons unlike Amitabh Bachhan.

He also mentioned social reasons, and permission to play indoor games too.

Let's not miss out the pertinent points here.

Fact is the net effect is the same, a father applying boundaries to their children.

 

[PakLFC]

Afridi is going to force his brand of Islam on the girl's. He would have no problems if he had a son who played Cricket or was admired by ladies like he was. He fails to understand that all if not any of his daughters may not be religious.

 

[slipcatch]

Absolutely nothing wrong in playing cricket or any sports as a Pakistani female.

Poor comment and thinking.

 

[FreakCricket]

Lala is okay with getting donations from these feminists lol

 

[kingusama92]

Hilarious coming from a guy like Afridi.

 

[giri26]

To be really frank restricting your kids from what they love is barbaric. No matter what spin you put on it. It seems it is very easy to escape any questions if religion word is thrown around any of your decisions. I feel sorry for those girls. They might agree and respect what their father decides for them but the disappointment and regret will always be there.

 

[giri26]

All keep the discussions to only the topic at hand. No personal remarks or insults will be tolerated.

 

[DeadBall]

New studies show that females do not need as much oxygen as their male counterparts and indoor sports is the best way to go, also the extra wrapping around a 10 year olds head traps the oxygen bubbles and helps their brain develop better into dealing with their mysoginstic fathers. If anything Mr Afridi is a pioneer.

It's all very scientific.

 

[Sirris]

It's easy to judge Afridi and call him out.

The real issues as always is not his inability to get with modern times and just copy paste external belief systems. The real issue is a lack of proper education and liberation of mind. Yes he is popular and has the fame but that's not enough to fight ignorance. Hence Afridi's opinion is nothing but a reflection and glimpse of the culture and society he grew up in.

Instead of attacking and ridiculing Afridi, the effort should go in on how to address these double standards in a closed society in such a way that the critic to some degree seems authentic and has a foundation in the local culture.

Like one could mention to Afridi and the society at large which shares his sentiment that the Prophet Muhammad held outdoor sport activities with his wives. Be it horse riding or a sprinting contest. Therfore Afridi's and the societies mindset at large is misguided. Instead of being lazy he should provide female sport opportunities and infrastructure which are inline with local culture and where the female volleyball players for example don't have to wear tank tops.

By ridiculing Afrid or pointing fingers at him is only cause those who agree with his mindset to get in defense mode and defend the ego, pride and self-esteem. This way no real reflection upon the current belief system takes place amd the whole discussion amd debate becomes a waste of effort and energy.

At the same time I'd like open minded people to reflect upon the fact that certain sports like Tennis and volleyball have a specific dress code and curiously the women's dress code is always pretty minimalist when compared to the males in these kind of things. Such a double-standard and rigid structure will no doubt scare off societies with a closed minded view to begin with.

 

[Pakistanian]

Afridi is just a product of his environment.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

He's specifically mentioned he won't let his daughters play for religious reasons unlike Amitabh Bachhan.

Indeed. But in the subcontinent religion is just another method of exerting male control. That is why India is still mired in misogyny despite apparently having relatively little religious reason for it.

Afridi's views are just a reflection of his society's views on gender.

 

[BreadPakoda]

Fathers have full right over their daughter's lifestyle and future. And wife/wive's too.

Not sure what's so surprising.

 

[Savak]

I think evidence will show that parents who were strict, firm with their daughters from childhood and raised them to be on the right path will 9 times out of 10 raise exemplary daughters with excellent characters, good marriage material girls whereas parents who gave a khulli chutti, haath, liberties to their daughters will have ended up raising absolute party animals, girls with questionable morals, corrupted and not very marriage material.

Ofcourse the same also applies to men too.

 

[IMMY69]

I think evidence will show that parents who were strict, firm with their daughters from childhood and raised them to be on the right path will 9 times out of 10 raise exemplary daughters with excellent characters, good marriage material girls whereas parents who gave a khulli chutti, haath, liberties to their daughters will have ended up raising absolute party animals, girls with questionable morals, corrupted and not very marriage material.

Ofcourse the same also applies to men too.

So in that case I've raised a party animal with questionable morals who is studying medicine at Uni..

 

[Pakistanian]

I think evidence will show that parents who were strict, firm with their daughters from childhood and raised them to be on the right path will 9 times out of 10 raise exemplary daughters with excellent characters, good marriage material girls whereas parents who gave a khulli chutti, haath, liberties to their daughters will have ended up raising absolute party animals, girls with questionable morals, corrupted and not very marriage material.

Ofcourse the same also applies to men too.

This is why you aren't married with that mentality. What are questionable morals? Maybe I'm too Americanized for this forum but I don't think dating or partying makes a woman not "marriage material", and a little experience isn't a bad thing.

 

[Green Patriot]

Fathers have full right over their daughter's lifestyle and future. And wife/wive's too.

Not sure what's so surprising.

Well here's a surprise for you.

They dont

 

[Green Patriot]

For the sake of his daughters i hope they dont aspire to be sportswomen anyways.

Parents forcing their choices on children in their life matters can really give rise to messed up children. Advising is one thing and controlling is another.

 

[Pakistanian]

Fathers have full right over their daughter's lifestyle and future. And wife/wive's too.

Not sure what's so surprising.

They don't and they shouldn't.

 

[Savak]

So in that case I've raised a party animal with questionable morals who is studying medicine at Uni..

This is why you aren't married with that mentality. What are questionable morals? Maybe I'm too Americanized for this forum but I don't think dating or partying makes a woman not "marriage material", and a little experience isn't a bad thing.

I am talking about the girls you find in High Schools like Lahore Grammar School, Karachi Grammar School, the Pakistani girls who go the elite Pakistani Universities or Western Universities and party like mad, who openly drink and party and flaunt their 5-6-7 bf's in 1-2 years in public. These are definately a minority but a clear example of what can happen to girls if they are given complete freedom from childhood. I have had plenty of experience with these women, these women cleverly play the female feminism card and exploit their gender whenever it suits them and then take all sorts of liberties with men whenever it suits them and ideally they want a world where a guy is powerless and women have all the rights, liberties to do whatever they want and get away with it.

In the vast majority of cases where you find Pakistani girls in Pakistan and the West to be completely free from these ills, to be well grounded, down to earth, educated but family oriented, you will find that a strict or hands on upbringing by their parents played a vital role.

My khala married her American boyfriend against her family wishes and gave complete freedom to her daughter to do whatever she wanted. End result is a completely westernized girl who doesn't even identify with her Islamic and Pakistani background and is more or less a gori girl and a mother who is traumatized, depressed and who wishes she could go back 20-25 years ago and marry a Pakistani guy even if she wasn't in love with him as long as she ended up raising an acceptable Pakistani daughter.

Those criticizing Afridi for his desire to raise his daughters as per his own cultural, religious values with boundaries do not know what they are talking about.

 

[Pakistanian]

I am talking about the girls ... ....

I know a lot of girls that were raised by strict conservative Islamic parents that were never allowed any freedoms and were constantly monitored by their parents and those same girls ended up being some of the wildests, they just found a good way at hiding what they did. A lot of "conservative families" have skeletons in their closets, they're just good at duplicity. It is extremely common for "good girls" to rebel once they hit their youth.

 

[BaankeJi]

Pathetic attitude but expected of him.
He doesn't have respect for females( admitted abusing others using female relations), so he thinks world is unsafe for them. Figures.

 

[troodon]

I am talking about the girls you find in High Schools like Lahore Grammar School, Karachi Grammar School, the Pakistani girls who go the elite Pakistani Universities or Western Universities and party like mad, who openly drink and party and flaunt their 5-6-7 bf's in 1-2 years in public. These are definately a minority but a clear example of what can happen to girls if they are given complete freedom from childhood. I have had plenty of experience with these women, these women cleverly play the female feminism card and exploit their gender whenever it suits them and then take all sorts of liberties with men whenever it suits them and ideally they want a world where a guy is powerless and women have all the rights, liberties to do whatever they want and get away with it.

In the vast majority of cases where you find Pakistani girls in Pakistan and the West to be completely free from these ills, to be well grounded, down to earth, educated but family oriented, you will find that a strict or hands on upbringing by their parents played a vital role.

My khala married her American boyfriend against her family wishes and gave complete freedom to her daughter to do whatever she wanted. End result is a completely westernized girl who doesn't even identify with her Islamic and Pakistani background and is more or less a gori girl and a mother who is traumatized, depressed and who wishes she could go back 20-25 years ago and marry a Pakistani guy even if she wasn't in love with him as long as she ended up raising an acceptable Pakistani daughter.

Those criticizing Afridi for his desire to raise his daughters as per his own cultural, religious values with boundaries do not know what they are talking about.

Letting Girls play sport = Drinking and having 5-6 boyfriends?

Every person has the right to bring up their kids according to their culture, but playing sport has nothing to do with what you typed.

 

[Savak]

Letting Girls play sport = Drinking and having 5-6 boyfriends?

Every person has the right to bring up their kids according to their culture, but playing sport has nothing to do with what you typed.

Sorry i digressed, i was addressing some posters who were saying women should be given khulli chutti to do as they wished which is always a recipe for disaster in the long run. Women can play sports but if their parents are uncomfortable with it then they can't revolt against them and disrespect them.

 

[mustang]

Indeed. But in the subcontinent religion is just another method of exerting male control. That is why India is still mired in misogyny despite apparently having relatively little religious reason for it.

Afridi's views are just a reflection of his society's views on gender.

Religion is a method of exerting control throughout the world period, not just subcontinent. Show me a female pope and I will happily take this statement back.

 

[slipcatch]

Pathetic attitude but expected of him.
He doesn't have respect for females( admitted abusing others using female relations), so he thinks world is unsafe for them. Figures.

Is it not?

 

[mustang]

I know a lot of girls that were raised by strict conservative Islamic parents that were never allowed any freedoms and were constantly monitored by their parents and those same girls ended up being some of the wildests, they just found a good way at hiding what they did. A lot of "conservative families" have skeletons in their closets, they're just good at duplicity. It is extremely common for "good girls" to rebel once they hit their youth.

Pretty much THIS - spot on comment I would say. I have observed similar data points (across multiple social groups). Kids (and humans in general) need a responsible level of freedom of thoughts and actions. By denying them this, we would get #1 - a conservative clone of ourselves (best case I would say) or #2 - someone with repressed feelings and issues thanks to artificial controls in early childhood or #3 - someone who went bonkers all the way to the crazy wild side of things once they have their own independence in life (thus also destroying their lives).

 

[mustang]

I am talking about the girls you find in High Schools like Lahore Grammar School, Karachi Grammar School, the Pakistani girls who go the elite Pakistani Universities or Western Universities and party like mad, who openly drink and party and flaunt their 5-6-7 bf's in 1-2 years in public. These are definately a minority but a clear example of what can happen to girls if they are given complete freedom from childhood. I have had plenty of experience with these women, these women cleverly play the female feminism card and exploit their gender whenever it suits them and then take all sorts of liberties with men whenever it suits them and ideally they want a world where a guy is powerless and women have all the rights, liberties to do whatever they want and get away with it.

In the vast majority of cases where you find Pakistani girls in Pakistan and the West to be completely free from these ills, to be well grounded, down to earth, educated but family oriented, you will find that a strict or hands on upbringing by their parents played a vital role.

My khala married her American boyfriend against her family wishes and gave complete freedom to her daughter to do whatever she wanted. End result is a completely westernized girl who doesn't even identify with her Islamic and Pakistani background and is more or less a gori girl and a mother who is traumatized, depressed and who wishes she could go back 20-25 years ago and marry a Pakistani guy even if she wasn't in love with him as long as she ended up raising an acceptable Pakistani daughter.

Those criticizing Afridi for his desire to raise his daughters as per his own cultural, religious values with boundaries do not know what they are talking about.

oh man, this post has so many questions from me but I will keep it concise to the bolded part. Also - I agree with you about some of the extreme feminists (especially here in California) but these to me are a minority and my questions below still remain

1. What are your thoughts about men flaunting multiple GFs, promising marriages to women and ditching them? How are they dealt with if the society continues to be on unequal gender footing? Is that considered acceptable for men but a total horror if women do that?

2. What is wrong with a girl being social, and having some drinks? (having drinks is NOT the same is getting drunk which is a problem)? Would you not want an independent free thinking person as your peer instead of someone raised in a totally controlled environment? I'm actually wondering if our cultural differences are coming into play here as I type this question.

My above 2 questions being said, I know what you mean by women who selectively play gender card but exploit men as needed. These are wretched individuals but even here in the US they are only a minority.

 

[mustang]

He's not a fan of women playing public sport full stop, it's not just his own daughters.

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I do not speak Urdu/Hindi well and from what little I can understand, is he saying that women can cook well and should stick to it? If that is right, then it is a douchey male dominated condescending response that is circumventing the actual question. But again - if he thinks it is normal because that is the society he grew up in, then is he at fault or his society?

 

[Savak]

oh man, this post has so many questions from me but I will keep it concise to the bolded part. Also - I agree with you about some of the extreme feminists (especially here in California) but these to me are a minority and my questions below still remain

1. What are your thoughts about men flaunting multiple GFs, promising marriages to women and ditching them? How are they dealt with if the society continues to be on unequal gender footing? Is that considered acceptable for men but a total horror if women do that?

Don't agree with any person committing to someone and then ditching them. Men should not flaunt multiple girlfriends in public either and those who do so are clearly showing that they are not serious. But to be honest, men will sadly get away with some social leeway in comparison to women. At the same time, women are taken care off and preserved at a higher level in our society compared to guys. For e.g. my dad is very particular about my sisters needs being met first way before the brothers. For some reason i feel more protective towards girls in my family in comparison to guys who i feel can fend for themselves.

2. What is wrong with a girl being social, and having some drinks? (having drinks is NOT the same is getting drunk which is a problem)? Would you not want an independent free thinking person as your peer instead of someone raised in a totally controlled environment? I'm actually wondering if our cultural differences are coming into play here as I type this question.

In an ideal world, i want someone who looks like Iman Ali, Sana Javed, Mila Kunis i.e. dresses like them, looks like them, has style like them but with pure home making, house wife attributes and qualities. Sadly this world is not perfect and you cannot end up with the complete package, compromises will have to be made.

Sadly my elders are extremely religious and conservative and any girl who even touches a sip of Alcohol becomes unacceptable. Besides i don't drink myself so how can i accept a girl who drinks.

There is a fine line between a girl being indepedent free thinking person and someone who is downright rebelious, feminist, competitive, unsympathetic and someone who just feels is superior too you. Sadly i have come across plenty of highly educated, high achieving women who look down and denigrate their husbands if they are not as successful as them or don't earn as much as them and then these women take digs at the guys masculinity and the fact that she is wearing pants in the house in comparison to him. Sometimes highly educated women like to argue about each and everything with their husbands and defy their wishes because they just stubbornly want their own way leading to a lot of problems and unhappiness in the family. I have seen close to home that women now days have openly started demanding divorces in comparison to the past and this modern highly educated femi nazi brigade which is hell bent on 24/7 man hating is to blame for this.

I have more or less come to the conclusion that marriage at the end of the day is a very practical exercise and in the long run a guy will be extremely lucky fortunate if his spouse gives him marital bliss, peace, tranquility at home in terms of looking after the house, kids, looking after the domestic affairs at home while the husband can give his full undivided attention to earning the maximum amount of income to provide for his family and dedicate 10-12 hours in the day towards this purpose without having to worry about things at home or the kids.

One of my friends in Canada married his first cousin. Initially i was like what the hell but now when i look at their relationship, i actually really envy him big time. She is a pure house wife while he is now on the verge of becoming a Partner in a Mid sized accounting firm. He has 4 kids and she without complaint looks after everything at home, the house, the kids, his parents, does all the grocery shopping, chores, she is an excellent cook and he is able to give his full 100% attention at work and then towards his private consultancy over the weekend. She allows him to leave the house at late night to hang out with friends for coffee, tea, dinner, shisha. He at the same time doesn't exploit this and gives time to his wife and kids but i absolutely envy this friend of mine and the arrangement he has and this is how ideally it should be between a guy and his wife.[/QUOTE]

My above 2 questions being said, I know what you mean by women who selectively play gender card but exploit men as needed. These are wretched individuals but even here in the US they are only a minority.

These are the type of women i despise the most and to be honest i would actually encourage most men to be badtameez and crude with these type of women to put them in their place.

 

[Savak]

I do not speak Urdu/Hindi well and from what little I can understand, is he saying that women can cook well and should stick to it? If that is right, then it is a douchey male dominated condescending response that is circumventing the actual question. But again - if he thinks it is normal because that is the society he grew up in, then is he at fault or his society?

What Afridi said was in a very loving way. These modern highly educated feminists will ignore that part. According to Islam, it is the mother who plays a predominant role in shaping up the personality of the kids and providing martial bliss at home, looking after the house. This is not to say that men should not contribute at home and should play an equal role but the primary responsibility is off the woman as a wife and mother.

Sadly these modern highly educated rebelious feminists have now started propogating and promoting that mothers should play less of a role and fathers should play more of a role in the house and with the kids. What these women need is a strict aggressive chauvenistic dude who will give them the danda to put them straight. Then i will see how real their femi nazism is against a powerful chauvenistic guy

 

[PakPremi]

I respect Afridi more now for doing his best for his girls to keep them close to their religion and roots, despite living in a high profile family. Parents good upbringing shows in their mannerism.

 

[CricketCartoons]

It is not misogyny to protect your women in third world countries by restricting their movement. Patriarchal yes, but nothing wrong with it.