They don't play fair because that's exactly what they should be doing. The onus is not on them to play fair, it's on the countries they do business with to make sure of that and even then only the developing ones. None of the developed countries played fair to get here, you simply can't do that. Britain literally colonized half the world to create markets for it's manufacturers. It's not their fault the host countries are more interested in easy short term money than their long term prospects. India and Pakistan's eye watering deficits with China are entirely their own fault. China's job is to secure their economic interests, which they did beautifully. It was India and Pakistan's job to secure theirs, something they failed at miserably, Pakistan much more so than even India which is no mean feat.
I've commented on this previously, no it's not entirely our fault & no not all money ends up in China.
The trade deficit is mainly on account of electronic goods, the telecom manufacturers like Huawei or ZTE revenues (for network equipment) dwarf in comparison to the other high(er) end goods India imports.
The biggest components is x86 & mobile phones, followed by consumer durables. In x86 China just assembles Intel, AMD, Nvidia products through Hon hai or Pegatron. The actual profit, vast majority, ends up in the US or Taiwan.
For mobile phones, depending on who you talk to, the Chinese have an iron grip on South Asian market. Though 90% of profits again end up with Apple or Samsung, Huawei has only recently emerged as a highly profitable venture in this field. Though again Hon hai & Pegatron assemble a vast majority of them.
Consumer durables like TV, refrigerator, washing machine et al are also manufactured in India, though the latest tech comes from the likes of Samsung, LG, Haeir etc. We can eaisly replace Chinese goods, but the costs might go higher.
Then as I pointed out earlier, heavy engineering & other high tech (electrical) equipment, we have Germany or domestic suppliers to fulfill all of that demand. China is preferred only when it's really cheap &/or they're bribing our officials.
Automobiles, we;re way ahead of anything made by China i.e. Chinese homegrown firms. The same goes for pharma or IT/services industry.
In that sense if we play our cards well, we won;t be as dependent on China in the future as we are now. Make in India is a step in that direction but we need more Indian firms manufacturing stuff for India & then exports.