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- Oct 2, 2004
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A lovely heart-warming post on a difficult topic - Congratulations to [MENTION=142169]PakLFC[/MENTION] for this and thanks for sharing your experience.
My Ammiji died of breast cancer when I was 17 that was a terrible time for me. We'd been told she wouldn't make it, waiting for her to go made it doubly difficultWe would take turns to be with her sharing responsibility then the neighbours would help out as well. We had extremely kind Sikh neighbours at the time, they were a great help and comfort to us even bringing food for us seeing how upset we were that no one wanted to cook. Men can only do certain things for their Mum or a very ill lady like we can't change, dress or take a lady to the toilet that could only be done by my sis, lady relatives, family friends and neighbours ladies. In that state my Mum became very argumentative, grumpy and even abusive complaining about anything although we did not tell her that the doctor's couldn't do anything more for her. Things were incredibly difficult for me as I am the youngest of four kid's and was the closest to Ammiji. I did whatever I was told never arguing with her or making a fuss about anything at all knowing it would only upset her further. Often I didn't know if I should enter my Mum's bedroom with tears rolling down my eyes so would wear shades to hide them and not speak coz the voice gives away that the person is crying as well. I think Ammiji figured out that she was going but knowing the situation chose not to say anything so not to upset us further. A person on the brink of death does not need to be told anything. I am so glad now that I took time of my studies to take care of my Mum after all heaven is under a Mum's feet. I showed incredible patience and love to my Mum doing all she instructed me to at the time without ever questioning anything. There is nothing more we can do for a loved one on the verge of leaving us.
