What's new

The dreaded Friend Zone

G

Ghazinator1313

Debutant
Joined
Dec 28, 2010
Runs
138
So a "friend" of mine is in the friend/bro zone. How does said "friend" get out of this? ADVICE NEEDED! lol
 
firstly im sorry to hear.

secondly

you cant

you just have to hope that she has a sudden onset of love for you
 
Good luck. A guy i know who is very good at picking girls up always tells me you can be friends with a girl you dont love but cant be friends with a girl you love. Hopefully some experienced folks here can critique this.

I was and still am briefly interested in this girl i met in my uni in Canada, worst of all i can speak to her whenever i want, as i wish on sms/bbm but its clear based on the fact that since i am always doing most of the talking, getting no detailed interested responses from her that its pointless to entertain any further thoughts. Its upto her to open up and help me get to know her further.

I dont know her well enough to flatly proposition her first of all, second of all even if i do such a thing i know she will freak out and the end result will not be pleasant. Third we have plenty of other headaches to deal with in life so no point wasting time on something insignificant at this point.

Hence i have basically moved on, i am sure others eventually do the same once they realize things are at a dead end and not going anywhere. I must admit though that all this depends on the level of attraction as well, if it is at 10-30% then its easy to be indifferent, casual and unconcerned. But if it is at 70-95% then one is screwed. Speaking from experience.
 
Savak said:
Good luck. A guy i know who is very good at picking girls up always tells me you can be friends with a girl you dont love but cant be friends with a girl you love. Hopefully some experienced folks here can critique this.

I was and still am briefly interested in this girl i met in my uni in Canada, worst of all i can speak to her whenever i want, as i wish on sms/bbm but its clear based on the fact that since i am always doing most of the talking, getting no detailed interested responses from her that its pointless to entertain any further thoughts. Its upto her to open up and help me get to know her further.

I dont know her well enough to flatly proposition her first of all, second of all even if i do such a thing i know she will freak out and the end result will not be pleasant. Third we have plenty of other headaches to deal with in life so no point wasting time on something insignificant at this point.

Hence i have basically moved on, i am sure others eventually do the same once they realize things are at a dead end and not going anywhere. I must admit though that all this depends on the level of attraction as well, if it is at 10-30% then its easy to be indifferent, casual and unconcerned. But if it is at 70-95% then one is screwed. Speaking from experience.
Click to expand...

Oh my god, Savak. I'm so sorry to hear that. That's so sad.
 
i've been there too, and still am and it's been 5 years. you're doomed because if nothing's happened yet, then it never will.
 
Savak said:
Good luck. A guy i know who is very good at picking girls up always tells me you can be friends with a girl you dont love but cant be friends with a girl you love. Hopefully some experienced folks here can critique this.

I was and still am briefly interested in this girl i met in my uni in Canada, worst of all i can speak to her whenever i want, as i wish on sms/bbm but its clear based on the fact that since i am always doing most of the talking, getting no detailed interested responses from her that its pointless to entertain any further thoughts. Its upto her to open up and help me get to know her further.

I dont know her well enough to flatly proposition her first of all, second of all even if i do such a thing i know she will freak out and the end result will not be pleasant. Third we have plenty of other headaches to deal with in life so no point wasting time on something insignificant at this point.

Hence i have basically moved on, i am sure others eventually do the same once they realize things are at a dead end and not going anywhere. I must admit though that all this depends on the level of attraction as well, if it is at 10-30% then its easy to be indifferent, casual and unconcerned. But if it is at 70-95% then one is screwed. Speaking from experience.
Click to expand...

best thing to do is move on and not think about her ever, even though probably difficult

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX20N4Ixt_I
 
Canistani Hero said:
Oh my god, Savak. I'm so sorry to hear that. That's so sad.
Click to expand...

best thing to do is move on and not think about her ever, even though probably difficult
Click to expand...

:afridi

We live to fight another day. No worries, this was nothing serious at all compared to my previous crush. Heck even that was not even serious at all. Sometimes we have so much over protection, inexperience living in the subcontinent from the real struggles in life that we tend to overblow these small things into something really big.
 
I really think it's possible to get out of it. Just a lot of persistence and tharkipan....and none of that pouring your heart out crap...it's just a really difficult game that must be played.
 
If you really want her, you'll make her want you.

I was best friended -_-

And then..... ;-)
 
Tiger T said:
Stop paying attention to her
Click to expand...

Doesnt work. If she is not into you when you pay attention to her, she will definitely not even think about you if you start ignoring her. End conclusion is either way, not meant to be.
 
You cannot get out of this zone OP, unless the girl becomes desperate for a relationship in the future for some reason/is looking for a rebound man, etc.

Once you are in the 'friend' zone, she will not look at you as anything other than a friend from that point onwards - unless something about you drastically changes to catch her attention ($$$ - :yk).

Maybe you should treat this girl more as a 'woman' and not so much as another 'homeboy' you just joke around with, etc, that would be a start. But even then, you would have to be very subtle because you wouldn't want to come across as an old perv or something.

Best thing would perhaps be to move on. Making an attempt at a relationship may just jeopardize the current friendship that you do have.

Good luck. :akhtar
 
violet_may said:
You cannot get out of this zone OP, unless the girl becomes desperate for a relationship in the future for some reason/is looking for a rebound man, etc.

Once you are in the 'friend' zone, she will not look at you as anything other than a friend from that point onwards - unless something about you drastically changes to catch her attention ($$$ - :yk).

Maybe you should treat this girl more as a 'woman' and not so much as another 'homeboy' you just joke around with, etc, that would be a start. But even then, you would have to be very subtle because you wouldn't want to come across as an old perv or something.

Best thing would perhaps be to move on. Making an attempt at a relationship may just jeopardize the current friendship that you do have.

Good luck. :akhtar
Click to expand...

MY "friend" is gonna get out this friend zone....just watch y'all! haha
and I have seen people get start out here and work to something else...so the game is on! lol
 
one sided love is a hopeless situation to be in..i have been in one sided love always...with different girls over time.. it consumes you..your ego is such a thing that tells you how come she doesnt love me..and you want to prove to yourself that you love her a lot..love needs to be returned.. one sided love burns your own self esteem.. it is depressing to know that you love someone and she cannot love you back...

my advice..hold your emotions..unleash your love only when the other person is ready to accept it..otherwise dont waste it..no one deserves so much from you when they offer so little..and you owe it to yourself.. love yourself first...

and remember you are like a diamond ring and she is like the finger... the finger looks good if it accepts the diamond ring..but the diamond ring can dazzle just by itself..
 
hopelessbiscuit said:
one sided love is a hopeless situation to be in..i have been in one sided love always...with different girls over time.. it consumes you..your ego is such a thing that tells you how come she doesnt love me..and you want to prove to yourself that you love her a lot..love needs to be returned.. one sided love burns your own self esteem.. it is depressing to know that you love someone and she cannot love you back...

my advice..hold your emotions..unleash your love only when the other person is ready to accept it..otherwise dont waste it..no one deserves so much from you when they offer so little..and you owe it to yourself.. love yourself first...

and remember you are like a diamond ring and she is like the finger... the finger looks good if it accepts the diamond ring..but the diamond ring can dazzle just by itself..
Click to expand...

Thanks bro, some really insightful stuff.
 
You can definitely get out of the friend zone!! For all the ppl who say otherwise :facepalm:

You know the girl, she is your friend, you know her likes-dislikes, that is a great head-start. First up your friend should start flirting. Only once she starts flirting back, act arrogant. Stop with the extra attention and reduce flirting. Its a simple 2-step process but it will definitely stop her thinking about you the normal "friend" way. Its then what you make of it.

Btw dont attempt this if you are not a witty/funny guy :)
 
Those who think getting out of the friends zone is not possible, havent seen it being done.

It is most definitely possible. However, not in the lovey dovey emotional style some guys and girls dream about (which is obvious from some of the posts here)
 
If your friend does go for it, and it doesnt work out, that friendship is gone. But staying in friend zone with a girl you like, whats the point of that? Tell him to start subtly dropping hints, until she gets it, tell him to go slow ;-) :afridi
 
akamaka said:
If your friend does go for it, and it doesnt work out, that friendship is gone. But staying in friend zone with a girl you like, whats the point of that? Tell him to start subtly dropping hints, until she gets it, tell him to go slow ;-) :afridi
Click to expand...

This, there is no point in maintaining a relationship where both the parties are not on the same page. Will never end well, best go for it because in the long run its better that you are not friends either.
 
Seen and experienced cases of friendzones turning into ;-) ;-) zone despite having a sincere friendship but that didn't last long though. And the worst part is that the best-friendship/soul-twins thingy that once was, is now a very awkward and formal 'friendship'.
 
^
Lol, true :))

I just noticed, your name is not written in red anymore. Looks awkward :zoni

For those saying you can definitely get out of the friend zone - I am assuming you people were never actually in the friend zone but rather were in the 'check-out' zone.

You can definitely get out of the friend zone!! For all the ppl who say otherwise

You know the girl, she is your friend, you know her likes-dislikes, that is a great head-start. First up your friend should start flirting. Only once she starts flirting back, act arrogant. Stop with the extra attention and reduce flirting. Its a simple 2-step process but it will definitely stop her thinking about you the normal "friend" way. Its then what you make of it.

Btw dont attempt this if you are not a witty/funny guy
Click to expand...

Not really. Opposite-sex friends do occasionally 'flirt' (maybe without realizing it/unintentionally), doesn't mean anything. If the guy and girl are in that comfortable 'we can talk about anything/joke around' phase without experiencing any 'sexual tension'/attraction :akhtar, then thou shall forever remain friends.

Like I said, unless one day, the OP's friend wakes up and looks like Channing Tatum or becomes really rich or something, anything that will make the girl give that guy a second look, I doubt he will get out of the friend zone.
 
violet_may said:
^
Lol, true :))

I just noticed, your name is not written in red anymore. Looks awkward :zoni
Click to expand...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am black and beautiful.

tumblr_m59g0y6WGo1r0idt6.gif
 
I have said this earlier and i will say this again..because i have first hand experience in getting rejected.. these things you must always keep in mind..

a man and a horse never grow old.
a sword is a sword without a sheath, but a sheath is not a sheath without a sword..
an oven remains the same no matter how many cakes it bakes..but a cake once baked changes forever..

so chip up..and dont lose hope..you will find your life partner one day!
 
I once almost got out of the friend zone. I was very persistent, for a very long time, and it almost happened. But after about a week or so, she said she wanted to be just friends again. :(

As far as I know OP, there is no escape.
 
violet_may said:
^
Lol, true :))

I just noticed, your name is not written in red anymore. Looks awkward :zoni

For those saying you can definitely get out of the friend zone - I am assuming you people were never actually in the friend zone but rather were in the 'check-out' zone.



Not really. Opposite-sex friends do occasionally 'flirt' (maybe without realizing it/unintentionally), doesn't mean anything. If the guy and girl are in that comfortable 'we can talk about anything/joke around' phase without experiencing any 'sexual tension'/attraction :akhtar, then thou shall forever remain friends.

Like I said, unless one day, the OP's friend wakes up and looks like Channing Tatum or becomes really rich or something, anything that will make the girl give that guy a second look, I doubt he will get out of the friend zone.
Click to expand...

There are ways of flirting. If you have been in a relationship, you will know there are levels of flirting. Any flirting which will make her think about you when she is alone will get you there :afridi

And i can tell you I was not in the 'check-out'. What i have talked about was about a girl i was good friends with for 5 yrs before we started dating. Likewise goes for my friend who was in the friend zone for 8 years before he married this girl.

About a guy getting a style makeover i am yet to see that :21:. But a fat paycheck definitely works
 
I have managed to get out of the friend zone a couple times and it's all about YOUR attitude. Most guys who end up in the friend zone make the mistake of subconsciously bowing down to a girl or giving her too much attention which puts the girl on a pedestal.

If you focus only on YOU and dont OVER THINK what she will think, treat her as an equal, just as a human, she will get intrigued. You have to create the perception that YOU are the prize and if she turns you down, its her loss.
 
Lol, I suppose we will simply have to disagree on this. Different people have different experiences I guess!

To OP: It will take your friend at least 5-8 years to get out of the friend zone, based on Pure Evil's post.

:yk
 
BMW Power said:
I have managed to get out of the friend zone a couple times and it's all about YOUR attitude. Most guys who end up in the friend zone make the mistake of subconsciously bowing down to a girl or giving her too much attention which puts the girl on a pedestal.

If you focus only on YOU and dont OVER THINK what she will think, treat her as an equal, just as a human, she will get intrigued. You have to create the perception that YOU are the prize and if she turns you down, its her loss.
Click to expand...

+1 to this. Exactly what i should have said in my first post :D

violet_may said:
Lol, I suppose we will simply have to disagree on this. Different people have different experiences I guess!

To OP: It will take your friend at least 5-8 years to get out of the friend zone, based on Pure Evil's post.

:yk
Click to expand...

:p

Took me 5 as I was in another reln and never looked at her that way :danish
 
Treat her as a friend when in front of her(although keep your imagination running wild in your brain :p). Keep repeating in front of her that "we are just friends" at every opportunity.

Soon she'll start thinking that what is it in me that this dude doesn't want to have a relationship with me and wants to stay only as a friend? Am I not "hot" enough? Is that other b1tch hotter? etc...


Worked for me in one case. Took less than a month to come out of the zone but for that I had to keep repeating that "we are friends" sh1t to the extent that it became weird soemtimes.

It's like, her saying that she can't be in a rel with you attracts you more towards her, coz you know it's one thing in life which you can't get. Same will apply to her when you do that, plus girls are crazier - the moment she knows you don't care about her being your friend or gf, she'll start getting those insecurities.
 
Last edited:
or if you want to be really evil:

Go around with other girls, have fun. Flirt with different chicks. And don't let her know (do not boast in front of her even by mistake - might ruin your image). This way your carnal instincts will remain satisfied and you can act all friendly in front of her. And then do what was mentioned in post 38. Play the GAME.
 
one more idea..keep praising a friend in front of her..preferably an elder lady..and say how that lady is the most intelligent person you have ever known..and what a charming lady she is..

trust me..it makes girls very jealous..even if she is not that interested in you..women are like cats..you pet one cat..the other cat will start getting jealous..

i have always tried this..and every time the girl gets jealous..and ends up saying i am not interested in listening to how good your lady friend is..and i smile in my mind..bingo!!
 
yes, but never overdo the jealousy card...she'll get pissed off and gradually completely lose interest in you..
 
or you can also try this..

tell the girl how you had a bad childhood..some girls have this tendency to be a mother..when she knows you are a tortured soul..it will bring out the mother in her....if you are good at acting then you can also bring out some tears..and she will wipe your tears..and her heart will melt.. then you say that thanks for bringing happiness to my life..what would i do without you..i am really blessed that i got a friend like you..and promise never to leave me..

this will work if the girl has strong maternal instincts..
 
ok..you can try this also..

if you know the girl loves animation movies..then tell her how one scene reminds you of her..like in Madagascar 2.. when the giraffe finds that the hippo Gloria is dating Modo Modo..and the speech he gives telling Modo Modo how to keep gloria happy.. tell the girl that the scene is exactly how you feel... animation movies are very good at making people emotional..if the girl has watched the scene..she will feel...awww..this is so sweet of you..

or if not animation movies..tell her about that scene in My Sassy Girl..where the guy tells what would he have done if he had got a chance to marry that girl...basically use any emotional scene to tell her how you feel about her..

and this is not lying..because you love her anyway..and everything is fair in love..
 
Best option is to talk about the new episode of Vampire Diaries :yk It always works, it also doesn't hurt your chances if you look like Ian Somerhalder like me :)
 
hopelessbiscuit said:
one sided love is a hopeless situation to be in..i have been in one sided love always...with different girls over time.. it consumes you..your ego is such a thing that tells you how come she doesnt love me..and you want to prove to yourself that you love her a lot..love needs to be returned.. one sided love burns your own self esteem.. it is depressing to know that you love someone and she cannot love you back...

my advice..hold your emotions..unleash your love only when the other person is ready to accept it..otherwise dont waste it..no one deserves so much from you when they offer so little..and you owe it to yourself.. love yourself first...

and remember you are like a diamond ring and she is like the finger... the finger looks good if it accepts the diamond ring..but the diamond ring can dazzle just by itself..
Click to expand...

Funny but true story. Well said bro.
 
If you're good looking, no girl can dare friend-zone you but then again they won't talk to you either and just stare at you all the time. I have never been in friendzone because its pointless and I've always avoided friendships with girls cause I feel like they're going to use me. Honestly, I just won't approach a new girl ever unless she looks better than me which is not so easy or when a girl has a wonderful personality.
 
Punk27 said:
If you're good looking, no girl can dare friend-zone you but then again they won't talk to you either and just stare at you all the time. I have never been in friendzone because its pointless and I've always avoided friendships with girls cause I feel like they're going to use me. Honestly, I just won't approach a new girl ever unless she looks better than me which is not so easy or when a girl has a wonderful personality.
Click to expand...

True story bro, only good looking guys like us understand how stupid it is to fall for any girl. You need to have standards :butt
 
violet_may said:
Like I said, unless one day, the OP's friend wakes up and looks like Channing Tatum or becomes really rich or something, anything that will make the girl give that guy a second look, I doubt he will get out of the friend zone.
Click to expand...

Channing Tatum is currently filming a movie down the street from me. He's been spotted all over town :heart:

As far as OP goes, why can't people just be honest with each other? I don't understand the need for all these mind games
 
Kwremb said:
True story bro, only good looking guys like us understand how stupid it is to fall for any girl. You need to have standards :butt
Click to expand...

Yes and its funny when boys do it for girls who are no better than average.
 
hopelessbiscuit said:
or you can also try this..

tell the girl how you had a bad childhood..some girls have this tendency to be a mother..when she knows you are a tortured soul..it will bring out the mother in her....if you are good at acting then you can also bring out some tears..and she will wipe your tears..and her heart will melt.. then you say that thanks for bringing happiness to my life..what would i do without you..i am really blessed that i got a friend like you..and promise never to leave me..

this will work if the girl has strong maternal instincts..
Click to expand...

hopelessbiscuit said:
ok..you can try this also..

if you know the girl loves animation movies..then tell her how one scene reminds you of her..like in Madagascar 2.. when the giraffe finds that the hippo Gloria is dating Modo Modo..and the speech he gives telling Modo Modo how to keep gloria happy.. tell the girl that the scene is exactly how you feel... animation movies are very good at making people emotional..if the girl has watched the scene..she will feel...awww..this is so sweet of you..

or if not animation movies..tell her about that scene in My Sassy Girl..where the guy tells what would he have done if he had got a chance to marry that girl...basically use any emotional scene to tell her how you feel about her..

and this is not lying..because you love her anyway..and everything is fair in love..
Click to expand...

I just come to this thread to read your posts, thanks man you are really helpful. :)
 
So, UPDATE: told her how I felt, she took it as a joke, told her parents, her sister (lol ***).anyway it be became awkward af for the longest time. She made me out to be some creepy weirdo, but my fault for letting her do that to me. Anyway, put me on a path to become a completely different person, completely changed my aspect on life and women in general. Had a few flings, found my now wife(her family vehemently opposed, I got death threats and to this day they are trying to cause trouble, but another story for another day). Alhumdulillah all is well. The friend zone gal was even at the wedding, because our families were close. Anyway, years have gone by and wanted to update because I am sure you all were concerned 😂
 
Ghazinator1313 said:
So, UPDATE: told her how I felt, she took it as a joke, told her parents, her sister (lol ***).anyway it be became awkward af for the longest time. She made me out to be some creepy weirdo, but my fault for letting her do that to me. Anyway, put me on a path to become a completely different person, completely changed my aspect on life and women in general. Had a few flings, found my now wife(her family vehemently opposed, I got death threats and to this day they are trying to cause trouble, but another story for another day). Alhumdulillah all is well. The friend zone gal was even at the wedding, because our families were close. Anyway, years have gone by and wanted to update because I am sure you all were concerned ��
Click to expand...

Good on you dude. Friendzone is just an excuse for guys who are not sure of themselves and approach people and girls they are interested in with a half-assed approach, being interested in a relationship but not having the spine for going for what they want and being overly friendly and compensating that the girl isn't really interested.

Good that you have moved on.
 
Suleiman said:
Good on you dude. Friendzone is just an excuse for guys who are not sure of themselves and approach people and girls they are interested in with a half-assed approach, being interested in a relationship but not having the spine for going for what they want and being overly friendly and compensating that the girl isn't really interested.

Good that you have moved on.
Click to expand...

Absolutely, agreed. You only get into the friend zone if you let yourself get there with the half-assed approach contributing to it. You live and you learn, with time. Looking back, I can see everything I did wrong and how I could have approached it all better. Made sure not to repeat those mistakes.
 
It is as simple as that:

This thing works in atttaction -> comfotm -> seduction.

When yoi make girl attracted towards you first n then make her feel comfortable within her attraction. She will fall for yoi.

When you screw up this order you're done.

If seduction comes first you will come across as creep.

If comfort comes first you will be friendzoned. N attraction doesnt spark in friendzone


If you are already in friendzone it means she is comfortable with you. Girls feel comfortable when ypu become predictible.

Start being little bit unpredictible. Create some mystery around you. Make her think abt you n your mystery in your abcense. Flirt with other girls hotter than her in frontt of her. Or discuss how this girl's hair drive you crazy etc.

Friend zone can definitely be broken
 
I have friendzoned a lot of girls in my life. They cant friendzone you if you friendzone them first :genius:
 
oneindia said:
It is as simple as that:

This thing works in atttaction -> comfotm -> seduction.

When yoi make girl attracted towards you first n then make her feel comfortable within her attraction. She will fall for yoi.

When you screw up this order you're done.

If seduction comes first you will come across as creep.

If comfort comes first you will be friendzoned. N attraction doesnt spark in friendzone


If you are already in friendzone it means she is comfortable with you. Girls feel comfortable when ypu become predictible.

Start being little bit unpredictible. Create some mystery around you. Make her think abt you n your mystery in your abcense. Flirt with other girls hotter than her in frontt of her. Or discuss how this girl's hair drive you crazy etc.

Friend zone can definitely be broken
Click to expand...
[MENTION=134809]sensible-indian-fan[/MENTION] think we have your successor! :p
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Lol friend zone is still much better than the ignore, lack of acknowledgement or worst case scenario creep zone, speaking from experience.

No bigger hurt and pain when you give someone a special place in your ♥ and she doesn't even deem you worthy of acknowledging your presence, existence, talking to you or responding to your initiative.
 
Ghazinator1313 said:
So, UPDATE: told her how I felt, she took it as a joke, told her parents, her sister (lol ***).anyway it be became awkward af for the longest time. She made me out to be some creepy weirdo, but my fault for letting her do that to me. Anyway, put me on a path to become a completely different person, completely changed my aspect on life and women in general. Had a few flings, found my now wife(her family vehemently opposed, I got death threats and to this day they are trying to cause trouble, but another story for another day). Alhumdulillah all is well. The friend zone gal was even at the wedding, because our families were close. Anyway, years have gone by and wanted to update because I am sure you all were concerned ��
Click to expand...

Congratulations to you for coming out of it as a "Ghazi".
 
If a member of opposite sex finds you attractive - you will never be friendzoned. Its that simple.
 
UP said:
If a member of opposite sex finds you attractive - you will never be friendzoned. Its that simple.
Click to expand...

This is true! Mutual attraction is so important. People are only friend zoned due to their looks or even personality.
 
Savak said:
Lol friend zone is still much better than the ignore, lack of acknowledgement or worst case scenario creep zone, speaking from experience.

No bigger hurt and pain when you give someone a special place in your ♥ and she doesn't even deem you worthy of acknowledging your presence, existence, talking to you or responding to your initiative.
Click to expand...

Thats not the biggest pain. Thats just humiliation in a way.

The biggest pain is when both of you love each other but still cant be together. You know a life long relationship is there for the taking but due to unavoidable circumstances it cant happen. This kind of a regret stays with you forever.
 
Madplayer said:
Thats not the biggest pain. Thats just humiliation in a way.

The biggest pain is when both of you love each other but still cant be together. You know a life long relationship is there for the taking but due to unavoidable circumstances it cant happen. This kind of a regret stays with you forever.
Click to expand...

The biggest pain is when you are together but don't love each other.
 
Madplayer said:
Thats not the biggest pain. Thats just humiliation in a way.

The biggest pain is when both of you love each other but still cant be together. You know a life long relationship is there for the taking but due to unavoidable circumstances it cant happen. This kind of a regret stays with you forever.
Click to expand...
This same tragedy is happening with me right now because of ** reasons. Fear of losing her forever. There’s still a tiny hope maybe I will get her one day.
 
Last edited:
UP said:
This same tragedy is happening with me right now because of ** reasons. Fear of losing her forever. There’s still a tiny hope maybe I will get her one day.
Click to expand...

May I ask the reason?
 
Madplayer said:
Thats not the biggest pain. Thats just humiliation in a way.

The biggest pain is when both of you love each other but still cant be together. You know a life long relationship is there for the taking but due to unavoidable circumstances it cant happen. This kind of a regret stays with you forever.
Click to expand...

Why can you not be together? Family opposition? I
 
Itachi said:
May I ask the reason?
Click to expand...
Two families not getting along with each other. And obviously ego problems. It has become a mess and also log kya kahen gey. Outside interference. She has given up but I have not. Going on for 4 years.
 
Last edited:
UP said:
Two families not getting along with each other. And obviously ego problems. It has become a mess and also log kya kahen gey. Outside interference. She has given up but I have not. Going on for 4 years.
Click to expand...

I went through the exact same thing last year before my wedding. My family was supportive but hers was not at all. Every Male member of her family was giving me death threats(father, brothers, uncles,cousins), making up rumors about my parents, just overall total jahalat. She landed in the ER twice due to mental torture. At the end of the day, it's about the couple. If you two want to be together, take the necessary steps. If they still have not come around after 4 years, inaction on your part is typically seen as weakness and they will never come around. Of course, he safe in whatever you do and evaluate any REAL dangers of your actions, but don't fall victim to perceived threats or bullying.
 
Ghazinator1313 said:
I went through the exact same thing last year before my wedding. My family was supportive but hers was not at all. Every Male member of her family was giving me death threats(father, brothers, uncles,cousins), making up rumors about my parents, just overall total jahalat. She landed in the ER twice due to mental torture. At the end of the day, it's about the couple. If you two want to be together, take the necessary steps. If they still have not come around after 4 years, inaction on your part is typically seen as weakness and they will never come around. Of course, he safe in whatever you do and evaluate any REAL dangers of your actions, but don't fall victim to perceived threats or bullying.
Click to expand...

Good advice. My thoughts exactly.
 
Ghazinator1313 said:
Why can you not be together? Family opposition? I
Click to expand...

I was not talking about myself. But this is something that i dread. Three friends of mine have gone through this. One was a simple case of family not agreeing. He was with a girl since God knows how many years and eventually the same crappy family drama that we see so often meant that they couldnt be together. And another one was when a friend of mine fell in love Online with a girl from another country and after being together for 2 years, they were both scared to take the next step. The third case was when my friend was in a relationship with a girl and her family began looking for a guy for her. My friend was unemployed at that time and hence he couldnt dare to talk to her family in such a weak position. His gf used to tell me how hopeful she was for a positive outcome. She used to look for signs that she and my friend were meant to be together like for example her family couldnt find a guy for her in 2 months and she told me that this meant something. When i used to hear this it used to break my heart because as a person looking at it from a neutral position i knew how impractical and petty she sounded. Alas, it was love and love makes one see things. She is now married to another guy, her true feelings burried under the soil of a new relationship.

All of these friends of mine are extremely unhappy now and it scares me when i look at their condition. The big thing in such cases remains that both the sides were in love, were willing to spend the rest of their lives together but the circumstances were tough to overcome.
 
CricketCartoons said:
The biggest pain is when you are together but don't love each other.
Click to expand...

If both dont love each other, there is always the easy option of separation. A lot of times it is in control. However, same is not the case when both are willing to be together and an insurmountable mountain stands in the way.
 
UP said:
This same tragedy is happening with me right now because of ** reasons. Fear of losing her forever. There’s still a tiny hope maybe I will get her one day.
Click to expand...

Kick a## bro. If you have a job, just freaking move out of your house if they dont like you making life choices for yourself. Dont ruin your life for stupid reasons which they give you. Take your mother into confidence though. Thats all you would need as moral support even if it is secretly that she supports you.
 
Maybe start by asking yourself what is about you that would make someone else want to be in a relationship with you.
 
Haroon786 said:
[MENTION=134809]sensible-indian-fan[/MENTION] think we have your successor! :p
Click to expand...

Haha....

Don't think I held any mantle. :p

But that post does have some excellent advice to break friendzone.

As long as people take a principle-based approach and then include tactics instead of the other way around....things will eventually work out. :p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

hassan918
[VIDEOS/PICTURES] Imam-ul-Haq's wedding celebrations
Replies
17
Views
617
Asad T
Asad T
P
Eid gift dilemma in the office
Replies
33
Views
835
offstump
offstump
The Bald Eagle
  • Poll
Which football league do you fancy as the best in the world?
Replies
40
Views
331
KingKhanWC
KingKhanWC
Hitman
Matthew Perry passes away at age 54
Replies
31
Views
1K
BouncerGuy
B
KingKhanWC
Defrauded by Employer
Replies
14
Views
899
KingKhanWC
KingKhanWC
Back
Top