The variety of cultural wedding conditions in the Subcontinent

[DeadlyVenom]

I have a family wedding coming up and was talking with some elders about how weddings in the UK have differed from traditional Punjabi weddings. Traditonally, the bride was bashful and quiet, whereas now in the UK Brides are fully involved looking happy and dancing etc too. It is nice that they get to enjoy their day rather than acting sad. We also have weird things where boys side will hire cars to show off here, and new cultural things obviously influenced by British such as concept of first dance and bride being given away by her father is common now here.

It got me thinking about the wide traditions across the subcontinent, some we know about as they are common, but some are unique to specific areas of people. For example, I have seen in bangladesh that grooms family visits the bride and gifts a fish to symbolise good luck, and I have seen in India that a mother breastfeeds her son before the wedding to symbolise their eternal bond. We also do weird things like hide the grooms shoes and demand money for it, I'm not sure if it is common across the subcontinent or Punjab only. There was also a video I saw that some Indian cultures through tomatoe at grooms family.

It would be interesting to learn more about these little quirks and traditions.

 

[DeadlyVenom]

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Here is a video of some interesting traditions i mentioned above

 

[sweep_shot]

For example, I have seen in bangladesh that grooms family visits the bride and gifts a fish to symbolise good luck

Never seen this in Bangladesh. It definitely doesn't happen in Dhaka. I don't know if it is a thing in other parts.

Bangladeshi weddings in Dhaka are often way too long (like 5-6 events for a single wedding). I personally don't like long weddings.

 

[DeadlyVenom]

Never seen this in Bangladesh. It definitely doesn't happen in Dhaka. I don't know if it is a thing in other parts.

Bangladeshi weddings in Dhaka are often way too long (like 5-6 events for a single wedding). I personally don't like long weddings.

It may be a uK Bangladeshi thing only. I have seen many videos. Its a sweet tradition.

All subcontinent weddings are very long. They can be fun but I think ladies enjoy them more.

 

[sweep_shot]

It may be a uK Bangladeshi thing only. I have seen many videos. Its a sweet tradition.

All subcontinent weddings are very long. They can be fun but I think ladies enjoy them more.

It is possible.

Many UK Bangladeshis are from a region known as "Sylhet". They are different than Dhaka people in terms of customs.

Anyway, I personally wouldn't gift a fish (or anything else) for good luck. Isn't that shirk? Here's what Dr. Bilal Phillips said:

Saying "It's my good luck" is an expression of shirk (idolatry). There is no such thing as good luck or bad luck, it is only Allah's Qadar (Destiny) which may be, relative to us, "good" or "bad". However, as I explained, even "bad” fate is potentially good for us, depending on how we handle it. When I was asked about how what we consider to be bad fate can be good, I reminded the questioner about the "hole in the boat" story mentioned in Soorah al-Kahf (Chapter of The Cave - 18 ). - Dr Bilal

Source: https://www.facebook.com/DrBilalPhi...atry-there-is-no-such-thin/10158567198959089/.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Not going to lie, learning that it is tradition in some parts of India to breast feed their sons before the wedding was an eye opener. But ok.

 

[KingKhanWC]

I went to a wedding a few days ago. Quality venue with great seating and excellent food. It was clear it was a high value venue where the hosts paid a lot of money.

The people present were selected as family or friends not anyone random from the area. They were civilised and polite to all esp the waiters.

One of the things which is annoying to see at Pak weddings is middle aged men abusing waiters, demanding quicker service etc. If they are so hungry, stay home and eat lol.

 

[JaDed]

Never knew about breast feeding custom, must be a massive rural and weird thing.

 

[JaDed]

One of the things which is annoying to see at Pak weddings is middle aged men abusing waiters, demanding quicker service etc. If they are so hungry, stay home and eat lol.

This is common in North Indian Hindu weddings as well, the entitlement!

 

[KingKhanWC]

This is common in North Indian Hindu weddings as well, the entitlement!

Where does the Mehndi concept come from? I know its not Islamic, a mix of Hindu and Bhuddist?

 

[JaDed]

Where does the Mehndi concept come from? I know its not Islamic, a mix of Hindu and Bhuddist?

It was brought to subcontinent from Arab/Persians.

South Indian Hindu weddings as these were not affected by Islamic culture overall don’t have mehendi at all.

South or North Indian Muslims do have it , North Indian Hindus also do it.

 

[KingKhanWC]

It was brought to subcontinent from Arab/Persians.

South Indian Hindu weddings as these were not affected by Islamic culture overall don’t have mehendi at all.

South or North Indian Muslims do have it , North Indian Hindus also do it.

Interesting thanks, I always thought it was Hindu culture, as never seen anything related to Islamic weddings.

Are all Hindu weddings very similar? Ie. Do they all circle the fire, not sure if its 7 times?

 

[JaDed]

Interesting thanks, I always thought it was Hindu culture, as never seen anything related to Islamic weddings.

Are all Hindu weddings very similar? Ie. Do they all circle the fire, not sure if its 7 times?

Majorly All Hindus follow that but i have seen weddings in South that don’t have that especially among some Malayalees. @Romali_rotti can correct me if i’m wrong.

Henna is not a Hindu thing overall , atleast not originally, it’s more of a cultural thing that was incorporated and now is a big deal, Henna was made popular by Arabs/Persians.

 

[sweep_shot]

@DeadlyVenom

Many Bangladeshi weddings follow one weird custom. For example, gaye holud (putting turmeric on the body). I think Indians call it "Haldi".

I don't know why Bangladesh has this tradition involving turmeric; its root is in India. It shouldn't be present in a Muslim wedding but many Bangladeshis sadly do this.

I prefer a proper Islamic wedding. I condemn gaye holud. It is a complete waste of turmeric.

 

[DeadlyVenom]

@DeadlyVenom

Many Bangladeshi weddings follow one weird custom. For example, gaye holud (putting turmeric on the body). I think Indians call it "Haldi".

I don't know why Bangladesh has this tradition involving turmeric; its root is in India. It shouldn't be present in a Muslim wedding but many Bangladeshis sadly do this.

I prefer a proper Islamic wedding. I condemn gaye holud. It is a complete waste of turmeric.

I dont mind these things bro, it is a nice way to spread joy and happiness. Even though we are all muslims we have our individual cultures, as long as people don't include it as part of the religion I think its ok.

 

[sweep_shot]

I dont mind these things bro, it is a nice way to spread joy and happiness. Even though we are all muslims we have our individual cultures, as long as people don't include it as part of the religion I think its ok.

It is a waste of turmeric. Why waste turmeric? People should be intelligent enough to abandon silly traditions.

Also, it probably has root in Hinduism. It is absurd for any Muslim wedding to have this. Sadly, some ignorant Bangladeshis participate in this.

Another thing I dislike is many wasted foods. People should not waste foods unnecessarily; it is just very wrong.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

It is a waste of turmeric. Why waste turmeric? People should be intelligent enough to abandon silly traditions.

Also, it probably has root in Hinduism. It is absurd for any Muslim wedding to have this. Sadly, some ignorant Bangladeshis participate in this.

Another thing I dislike is many wasted foods. People should not waste foods unnecessarily; it is just very wrong.

It's a wedding ritual, unless there's something specifically Hindu about turmeric, what is the harm in it? It's not really food either, it's a spice. Considering the amount of money usually lavished on a wedding I doubt anyone is going to count the costs for wastage.

 

[sweep_shot]

It's a wedding ritual, unless there's something specifically Hindu about turmeric, what is the harm in it? It's not really food either, it's a spice. Considering the amount of money usually lavished on a wedding I doubt anyone is going to count the costs for wastage.

It is a spice. Yes.

You can make healthy drinks with it. You can put it in food. Why waste it in weddings?

Haldi ceremony has root in Hinduism. Here is from Google:

The Haldi ceremony's origin lies in ancient Vedic traditions and the sacred significance of turmeric (haldi) in South Asian culture for its purifying, protective, and auspicious qualities. The vibrant yellow color symbolizes the sun's life-giving energy and positivity, representing blessings for fertility and prosperity. Historically, the paste was applied to purify the bride and groom's bodies, minds, and souls, sanctifying them for marriage and warding off the evil eye.

So, yeah. I don't think Muslim weddings should have this. Many Bangladeshis sadly do this. They are probably ignorant about the origin.

 

[LordJames]

I have a family wedding coming up and was talking with some elders about how weddings in the UK have differed from traditional Punjabi weddings. Traditonally, the bride was bashful and quiet, whereas now in the UK Brides are fully involved looking happy and dancing etc too. It is nice that they get to enjoy their day rather than acting sad. We also have weird things where boys side will hire cars to show off here, and new cultural things obviously influenced by British such as concept of first dance and bride being given away by her father is common now here.

It got me thinking about the wide traditions across the subcontinent, some we know about as they are common, but some are unique to specific areas of people. For example, I have seen in bangladesh that grooms family visits the bride and gifts a fish to symbolise good luck, and I have seen in India that a mother breastfeeds her son before the wedding to symbolise their eternal bond. We also do weird things like hide the grooms shoes and demand money for it, I'm not sure if it is common across the subcontinent or Punjab only. There was also a video I saw that some Indian cultures through tomatoe at grooms family.

It would be interesting to learn more about these little quirks and traditions.

What???

 

[LordJames]

Pushtun Ghairat!

@sweep_shot @Suleiman @Justcrazy @DeadlyVenom @KingKhanWC

This guy started practicing Islam at university and wanted to absolutely follow "Sunnah" on his wedding day.

A friend of mine went and got married in Pakistan about 20 years ago. The video/camera guy came into the room and wanted to take pictures of his wife, so he told them "No".

They said, it will only take a minute, Sir.

He said, "It will only take a minute for me to rearrange your face, if you look at my wife"...leave this room! Feeling pleased with his performance, he felt happy.

He discovered years later, there are tons of wedding pictures which his wife kids got (from somewhere) and kept which he knew nothing about!

Now, that is his memory of his wedding day.

No matter how hard you try to resist culture and practises, (both) families ground down all your resistance!​

 

[KingKhanWC]

Pushtun Ghairat!

@sweep_shot @Suleiman @Justcrazy @DeadlyVenom @KingKhanWC

This guy started practicing Islam at university and wanted to absolutely follow "Sunnah" on his wedding day.

A friend of mine went and got married in Pakistan about 20 years ago. The video/camera guy came into the room and wanted to take pictures of his wife, so he told them "No".

They said, it will only take a minute, Sir.

He said, "It will only take a minute for me to rearrange your face, if you look at my wife"...leave this room! Feeling pleased with his performance, he felt happy.

He discovered years later, there are tons of wedding pictures which his wife kids got (from somewhere) and kept which he knew nothing about!

Now, that is his memory of his wedding day.

No matter how hard you try to resist culture and practises, (both) families ground down all your resistance!​

Maybe this is for questions in Islam thread, but what is an Islamic wedding, acc to the Sunnah?

 

[sweep_shot]

Pushtun Ghairat!

@sweep_shot @Suleiman @Justcrazy @DeadlyVenom @KingKhanWC

This guy started practicing Islam at university and wanted to absolutely follow "Sunnah" on his wedding day.

A friend of mine went and got married in Pakistan about 20 years ago. The video/camera guy came into the room and wanted to take pictures of his wife, so he told them "No".

They said, it will only take a minute, Sir.

He said, "It will only take a minute for me to rearrange your face, if you look at my wife"...leave this room! Feeling pleased with his performance, he felt happy.

He discovered years later, there are tons of wedding pictures which his wife kids got (from somewhere) and kept which he knew nothing about!

Now, that is his memory of his wedding day.

No matter how hard you try to resist culture and practises, (both) families ground down all your resistance!​

Looks like someone or some people took those pictures secretly.

I think it is not right to secretly take pictures. If someone doesn't want photos to be taken, that should be respected.

 

[Romali_rotti]

Majorly All Hindus follow that but i have seen weddings in South that don’t have that especially among some Malayalees. @Romali_rotti can correct me if i’m wrong.

As far as I am aware you are correct.

 

[Theanonymousone]

Weddings are meant to tie two people together through cultural rituals but now a days I see people losing the true purpose. My personal experience is that, if one follows the cultural and religious rituals to the book, it will be very exhausting.

I am more than happy to forgo few of the rituals if I can take a bit more time to enjoy the moments with my partner and my family. Spiritually, I believe that God intends us to live our lives truthfully and peacefully with good intentions. So, if we can do that, missing few rituals will not make us sinners in his eyes.

So, I don't believe there is any harm if we include celebrations like Haldi / Mehendhi irrespective of their origins be it Hindu / Muslim cultures as part of our wedding rituals if we are sincere and comfortable. Our intentions will be know to God and he will bless us.


My only complaint is people spend lavishly taking loans infact taking unnecessary financial burden. This needs to stop. Weddings are supposed to be a beautiful union of two people but not a showbiz which throws them / their families into debt.

 

[Theanonymousone]

Hindu weddings in South India doesn't typically have non-veg food items as killing during a wedding is not considered auspicious.

People may jot know here but in Andhra / Telangana, the major part of the ritual is Jeelakarra-Bellam : literally translates to ‘cumin-jaggery’, involves the couple placing a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other’s heads. This ritual is performed during an auspicious muhurtham and it signifies the couple’s union and their promise to support each other throughout their lives.

Exploring Jeelakarra-Bellam: A Traditional Telugu Wedding Ritual - An Award Winning Wedding Venue - Bangalore

Every South Indian state has its unique way of celebrating weddings and so do ‘Telugu Weddings’ as they are called. Telugu weddings are from regions of Telangana and Andhra Pradesh and are known for their ornate ceremonies. Earlier Telugu weddings lasted for about 16-19 days and yes, it was an...

www.thetamarindtree.in

 

[DeadlyVenom]

Hindu weddings in South India doesn't typically have non-veg food items as killing during a wedding is not considered auspicious.

People may jot know here but in Andhra / Telangana, the major part of the ritual is Jeelakarra-Bellam : literally translates to ‘cumin-jaggery’, involves the couple placing a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other’s heads. This ritual is performed during an auspicious muhurtham and it signifies the couple’s union and their promise to support each other throughout their lives.

Exploring Jeelakarra-Bellam: A Traditional Telugu Wedding Ritual - An Award Winning Wedding Venue - Bangalore

Every South Indian state has its unique way of celebrating weddings and so do ‘Telugu Weddings’ as they are called. Telugu weddings are from regions of Telangana and Andhra Pradesh and are known for their ornate ceremonies. Earlier Telugu weddings lasted for about 16-19 days and yes, it was an...

www.thetamarindtree.in

That's very interesting. Don't think I have met many ( or even any) people from those areas. It seems similar to the other traditions mentioned - using some paste for good luck.

 

[JaDed]

Hindu weddings in South India doesn't typically have non-veg food items as killing during a wedding is not considered auspicious.

People may jot know here but in Andhra / Telangana, the major part of the ritual is Jeelakarra-Bellam : literally translates to ‘cumin-jaggery’, involves the couple placing a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other’s heads. This ritual is performed during an auspicious muhurtham and it signifies the couple’s union and their promise to support each other throughout their lives.

Exploring Jeelakarra-Bellam: A Traditional Telugu Wedding Ritual - An Award Winning Wedding Venue - Bangalore

Every South Indian state has its unique way of celebrating weddings and so do ‘Telugu Weddings’ as they are called. Telugu weddings are from regions of Telangana and Andhra Pradesh and are known for their ornate ceremonies. Earlier Telugu weddings lasted for about 16-19 days and yes, it was an...

www.thetamarindtree.in

Majority North Indian Hindu weddings don't keep meat either, only Sikhs do that too not all.