Would you change your wife's surname?

[minamino]

I would not because my mom did not change her name either so I wouldn't want my wife name to be changed and my name isn't one which would look good as a surname.

 

[world cup captain]

One can express the desire to have it changed but does not actually have the authority to do it themselves. It's a backward tradition that reminisces the trading of women like they are property.

 

[imrankhannsu]

I gave my wife the option, she offered to accept it. I just think it looks more nice on wedding cards: Mr and Mrs. Khan

 

[uberkoen]

I gave my wife the option, she offered to accept it. I just think it looks more nice on wedding cards: Mr and Mrs. Khan

So, the only reason you changed your wives second name is that it would look good on wedding cards that you receive?

 

[andy0204]

Btw I don't have any surname.

 

[Robert]

My wife’s name didn’t used to be Mrs Robert.

 

[Itachi]

I won't. It's a headache where her names in certificates before marriage and after marriage will be different and hence, many verification including jobs, and other applications will be troublesome where I will have to go to court for affidavits.

Changing surname isn't important for me or for her. So I insisted in not changing it.

 

[imrankhannsu]

So, the only reason you changed your wives second name is that it would look good on wedding cards that you receive?

So, you didnt read properly what I wrote?

 

[Pakistanian]

It's up to her.

 

[Pakistanian]

One can express the desire to have it changed but does not actually have the authority to do it themselves. It's a backward tradition that reminisces the trading of women like they are property.

That makes no sense, the concept of women's virginity arose because women were considered property.

 

[Ronaldo7]

depends if she wants to do it or not.

actually, i'll just marry a woman with the same surname as me so this doesn't become an issue lol

 

[Justcrazy]

Its a personal choice.

 

[AdamM97]

My mother changed her surname after her marriage, and so did my sister after marrying.

I will ask my future wife to change her surname to mine - but if she refuses, then it’s fine. I’m not going to force anyone to bear my surname if they don’t want to lol.

 

[Sirris]

As someone raised in a Pakistani culture I don't care about the wife's surname.

Changing the wife's surname is a European tradition. Surprisingly I have found that young European men still find this tradition to be important. Many of my non-married friends of European decent feel like if they were to marry their wife should take their family name. It's only natural.

Traditionally in Pakistan there isn't a concept of surnames rather the clan/tirbe/braadari/ethnic association is more relevant and important. This association is what is passed down to generations while there is no particular family name. Hence the wife gets to keep her maiden name.

From a Pakistani perspective the equivalent question would be will you marry a women from a different braadari/tribe. Which remains a controversial issue even to this day.

 

[Sirris]

Btw I don't have any surname.

Makes sense. Surname is foremost a traditional European concept.

While in our part of the the word you have tribal associations like jatt, gujar, yousafzai, balochi, Shinwari etc. as a way to preserve the family heritage.

Typically when people from Pakistan migrate to a western country that's the first time they have to choose an artificial surname. Most often the last name of the first male who migrated.

 

[msaaim89]

I won't. It's a headache where her names in certificates before marriage and after marriage will be different and hence, many verification including jobs, and other applications will be troublesome where I will have to go to court for affidavits.

Changing surname isn't important for me or for her. So I insisted in not changing it.

Also did not insist to change. Don't think most people realise the hassle with additional forms/verification which is due to come.

 

[troodon]

Never asked her to change. Its a waste of time.

 

[sweep_shot]

I think wife and husband should have a common surname. It makes things easier.

 

[ElRaja]

no, i think your family name is a mark of where u are from and getting married doesn't change that.

 

[The_KING]

No, I wouldn't. I find it really unfair that a woman is expected to change her last name after marriage. I personally would want my wife to keep her family name.

 

[Abdul]

No, I wouldn't. I find it really unfair that a woman is expected to change her last name after marriage. I personally would want my wife to keep her family name.

This. Women changing their family surname after marriage is a disgusting norm and reeks of patriarchy.

 

[MenInG]

In Islam - woman is not required to change her name - she is always known as daughter of ... (bint-e-...)

 

[MP2011]

I didn't.

 

[Pakistanian]

In Islam - woman is not required to change her name - she is always known as daughter of ... (bint-e-...)

That's actually an Arab tradition that predates Islam, Christian and pagan Arabs do the same. Every culture has it's own naming convention, it just so happens that Islam originated in Arabia thus people conflate their culture with Islam.

 

[aloo paratha]

No. Needless tradition.

 

[aukhan]

No. I haven't.

Its pointless. Why would you wanna get into the hassle of changing name in all her documents.

 

[MenInG]

That's actually an Arab tradition that predates Islam, Christian and pagan Arabs do the same. Every culture has it's own naming convention, it just so happens that Islam originated in Arabia thus people conflate their culture with Islam.

No

It's a tradition that my Prophet PBUH had and I follow that. If he followed that tradition, then it has to be right for me.

 

[Green Patriot]

Would you want your wife to change her surname.
The choice is hers. You can only express the desire.

Also, it is not an Islamic practice.

 

[IAJ]

A wife leaves everything behind; her family, her home and even her country. So in my opinion she should keep her original surname and I believe Islam also encourages that.
If you are hell-bent on attaching your name to her, let it be joined with her surname, if she accepts of course.

 

[Syed1]

When I was getting married, I spoke to my wife about it. She gave a very logical reason. If she changes her name now, she will have to get it changed on all her degrees, drivers licences, professional licences etc etc. It just seemed a whole lot of work and we are lazy people.

 

[Waseem]

A wife leaves everything behind; her family, her home and even her country. So in my opinion she should keep her original surname and I believe Islam also encourages that.
If you are hell-bent on attaching your name to her, let it be joined with her surname, if she accepts of course.

I didn't change my wife's name for the same reason, she left everything behind, at least let her keep father's name which will keep giving her sense of connectivity.

 

[Pakpak]

Too much hassle and she loves her father who sacrificed a lot for her so so why would I have asked her to anyway.

 

[Shaddy86]

My wife was hell bent on changing her name, I never asked nor expected it, it was all her. There's no right or wrong either way, each to their own.

 

[Pakistanian]

I don't plan to, i would like to marry someone with their own identity.

 

[Shaddy86]

I don't plan to, i would like to marry someone with their own identity.

Don't worry name changing is just a facade, they well and truly keep their identity. It'll be your identity she'll be changing

 

[Bilal7]

That's actually an Arab tradition that predates Islam, Christian and pagan Arabs do the same. Every culture has it's own naming convention, it just so happens that Islam originated in Arabia thus people conflate their culture with Islam.

It became Islamic tradition once the Prophet and his wives implemented it. Muslims of all cultures have implemented it since. There are plenty of pre-Islamic, Arab traditions that were rejected by the Prophet and so, they remained just that.