Does a father-in-law have a place to argue on how you raise your children?

[HussainRx8]

Discuss.

Just to give you a bit of a context, I had a conversation with my father in law and it took an oddly personal turn. It was mostly suggestive but he appeared to have lectured me on namaz (lack thereof) and questioned my ability to raise children because of it.

Without debating the merits of the topic, I felt this was completely uncalled for.

 

[LongHorn]

Depends.

What is the dynamics like between your mother and your wife? Does your mom similarly lecture her on her shortcomings?

If yes, then you can let it pass. Otherwise, I would answer back to FIL (though prayers are important)

And what is your wifes take on her father lecturing you?

Some wives have thins thing where they raise a tantrum if their mother in law says something to them claiming it is "interference". But when their own parents do it, it is "because they care for us:

 

[Pakistanian]

no

 

[Suleiman]

Your decision to perform prayer has nothing to do with your ability to raise kids. Your kids are the responsibility of you and your wife.

Even if you go down the Islamic route, the Prophet's uncle never accepted Islam yet he did a pretty fantastic job raising a good, honest man. What does that say?

 

[Itachi]

Depends. Two people can have opposing views yet they can mutually respect each other. The father in law disagreed and voiced his opinion. You listened to the suggestion and sometimes you apply it, sometimes you won't.

As long as mutual respect is there, there wouldn't be a sense of insecurity regarding "interference". When there is lack of, it will creep in where you will start to draw territory.

 

[j_kazmi]

Whether you pray or not is not something that effects your ability to raise kids properly.

I don’t really think grand parents should have that much input in the up bringing of your child but I do think it’s not a bad idea to take pointers from them.

How ever your relationship with your father in law is, you have to remember that he also has the same relationship to your child as your own parents so it’s expected that he will have things to say about the way you raise your kids from time to time.

 

[troodon]

Everyone lectures. But it is up to you whether to follow the advise or ignore it.

 

[Hitman]

What has a person praying or not got anything to do with how good of a father he is? I suppose your father-in-law meant to question whether you will be able to influence Islam on your kids since you personally don't pray.

 

[Yossarian]

Grandparents, whether from the father's or mother's side, care about their grandchildren, and thus, within certain limits, should have some rights. But those rights do not override your rights to bring up your child as you wish. For the sake of the child if nothing else, relationships between yourself and the child's grandparents should remain cordial.

As [MENTION=101410]LongHorn[/MENTION] says above, your father-in-law and mother-in-law should be given the same rights over the child as the rights your own mother and father have over the child. As grandparents, they are entitled to equal rights over the child as enjoyed by your own parents.

 

[MenInG]

The father part in the 'father in law' rishta is important.

If you can accept that from your father, then your wife's father is just as important.

Listen to him with reverence, think about it, but do what is best for both of you.

 

[PakLFC]

It has very little to do with him. He should worry about his own grown up kid's.