“World Capitulates to Pakistan’s Supremacy After Imaginary Victory Over Bharat”
— by Staff Reporter, PakVision Global (formerly known as Reality Optional News)
ISLAMABAD, 11th May 2025 – In what is being hailed as the Greatest Geopolitical Shift Since the Conquest of Mars by the ISI, several countries have reportedly lined up to pledge allegiance to the Islamic Republic of Pakistan following its latest imaginary and thoroughly self-certified triumph over arch-rival Bharat.
The heroic standoff which began and ended entirely on Pakistani television studios, concluded with Pakistan emerging not only victorious, but also as the new de facto global superpower, according to experts wearing sunglasses indoors.
“World leaders are simply in awe of our unmatched ability to win wars without moving troops, launching missiles, or even having facts on our side,” proclaimed General Spokesperson Major Echo Chamber (Retd.), addressing the nation with visible pride and invisible evidence.
Sources close to the Ministry of National Self-Congratulations confirm that the following nations have formally written to Islamabad, requesting to be annexed immediately “for their own good”:
- Canada – Tired of maple syrup and manners, they now crave the sweet chaos of Rawalpindi.
- Algeria – Mistook Pakistan for the UAE after watching too many PSL ads.
- Denmark – Promised to rename Copenhagen as “Mini Islamabad” once the paperwork clears.
- Greenland – Thought they were signing up for better Wi-Fi.
- New Zealand – Confused by time zones, accidentally declared loyalty during a cricket match.
- Malaysia – Their PM swears he was hacked after forwarding the request via WhatsApp.
“This is just the beginning,” claimed the Foreign Office. “Soon, even the United Nations will operate from Murree.”
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