How should finances be handled in marriage, if your wife makes more money?

[Anwar_194]

Guys,
I have a friend and he is earning pretty good money,he is dating someone who makes even more than him. He is not stingy but also Don't want her to take advantage of this situation. He doesn't mind taking care of the house but his savings will be nothing if he start pitching 50/50. She also want Prenup before marriage and he is just unsure how to work around it.

I thought to ask people here, what is the best way to do this?

 

[Black Zero]

do not marry, if both parties are mainly thinking about finances.

 

[www787]

I think your friend needs to find a better business partner.

 

[troodon]

If your friend will have nothing in savings after taking care of the house, then he is not ready for marriage.

You need to be able to have at least 30-40% of your salary in savings after you pay for living expenses to be on safe side.

 

[Anwar_194]

The girl he is dating says that she doesnt want to lose everything in case she get divorced.

 

[Gabbar Singh]

TBH it sounds like you, sorry your friend, should find someone else more suitable. This sounds more like a business arrangement than a potential marriage.

 

[Vegitto1]

The girl is right. More and more marriages end up in divorce nowadays therefore having an agreement in place for when things don't work out is the way forward, and would lead to an amicable parting of ways.


1. House - Both should put forward 50% of the deposit amount. The mortgage repayment should be split 50/50. Have an agreement in place that states that the house is not going to be a family home. Therefore, if you unfortunately divorce - The house will be sold and profit split equally.

2. Car - Have your own cars according to your budget

3. Accessories/Jewelries - Buy your own - If you give something to her, or she to you, as a gift then don't expect it back.

4. Household bills - Split 50/50

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Don't be too concerned about savings - your house will leave you a good amount of equity. If you are still worried then get a better job or a second job.

PS: Use of 'You' should be read as 'your friend'

 

[Anwar_194]

The girl is right. More and more marriages end up in divorce nowadays therefore having an agreement in place for when things don't work out is the way forward, and would lead to an amicable parting of ways.


1. House - Both should put forward 50% of the deposit amount. The mortgage repayment should be split 50/50. Have an agreement in place that states that the house is not going to be a family home. Therefore, if you unfortunately divorce - The house will be sold and profit split equally.

2. Car - Have your own cars according to your budget

3. Accessories/Jewelries - Buy your own - If you give something to her, or she to you, as a gift then don't expect it back.

4. Household bills - Split 50/50

-----------------------------

Don't be too concerned about savings - your house will leave you a good amount of equity. If you are still worried then get a better job or a second job.

PS: Use of 'You' should be read as 'your friend'

She got divorced before and back than she didnt have anything. She worked hard and got her few things and do not want it to be an issue moving forward where they split and lose everything.

 

[troodon]

She got divorced before and back than she didnt have anything. She worked hard and got her few things and do not want it to be an issue moving forward where they split and lose everything.

That explains her prenup.

 

[TahirFan]

How should finances be handled in marriage, if your wife makes more money?

She should pay the restaurant bills

 

[Stewie]

If your friend will have nothing in savings after taking care of the house, then he is not ready for marriage.

You need to be able to have at least 30-40% of your salary in savings after you pay for living expenses to be on safe side.

Most important advice right there. If you think after getting married, contributing 50% of your household expenses will leave you with nothing, it means you are barely scraping by as a single person at the moment as well.

Getting married is probably not a good idea unless you and your partner have an understanding where finances don't matter at all. If she wants a prenup, it sounds like there is no trust st the moment, which implies you don't have that understanding, thereby potential for a messy union in future.

 

[Stewie]

I would say ideally both contribute equally to ongoing expenses/other savings/retirement etc. whatever is leftover, should be up to the individual to decide how to spend. My wife and I end up spending on the house or something for the kid anyway so it's never an issue.

But in order to avoid problems, it's better for both to share equally.

 

[Savak]

My POV is there should be complete understanding and unanimity on financial matters, spending habits before marriage with your partner. The last thing you want is for one partner to be a saver and the other partner to be a complete spend thrift. I personally know of one guy who had to cancel his joint accounts with his spouse to curtail her spending habits and it led to massive rifts, fights in their marriage.

 

[Savak]

Lol at people saying don't get married, they don't understand the society we live in, even guys don't have it easy anymore. Try being 30 plus, not being settled jobwise, career wise and dealing with taunts from elders, relatives "Tumharee Umar nikaltee jaa rahee hai", "Ab Koi dhan kee larkee nahin mile gee tumhay", "Bas Shaadi karlo, Larki khud rizq le kar aaye gee".

 

[Anwar_194]

The thing is what is the best way to handle this? I personally thing prenup is a bad choice, it gives one person not care about leaving a marriage knowing, I will have all my stuff so whocares, I will find someone else.

 

[TalentSpotterPk]

Lol at people saying don't get married, they don't understand the society we live in, even guys don't have it easy anymore. Try being 30 plus, not being settled jobwise, career wise and dealing with taunts from elders, relatives "Tumharee Umar nikaltee jaa rahee hai", "Ab Koi dhan kee larkee nahin mile gee tumhay", "Bas Shaadi karlo, Larki khud rizq le kar aaye gee".

But if you are (from showbiz) 32 years old Muneeb Butt than you can get engaged with 19 years old Aimam Khan.


But than again in Showbiz divorce rate of celebrities is high and there are some who bear every act of their partner and just want their marriage to last in any case whereas if you are not from industry and are even slightly practicing in your faith than you cannot and won't tolerate those acts of your partner.


So yaar koi kisi haal mein bhee khush nai hai.


Khushi, Success all are relative.

 

[Musakhel]

Lol at people saying don't get married, they don't understand the society we live in, even guys don't have it easy anymore. Try being 30 plus, not being settled jobwise, career wise and dealing with taunts from elders, relatives "Tumharee Umar nikaltee jaa rahee hai", "Ab Koi dhan kee larkee nahin mile gee tumhay", "Bas Shaadi karlo, Larki khud rizq le kar aaye gee".

Actually it is a good idea to stay single, the law system favours women too much, marriage is a bad deal in the west.

In Pakistan it's different feminism is non existent for the most part.

 

[kingusama92]

What do you do if your wife makes more money?

 

[kingusama92]

In all seriousness, if words like "unsure" or "taking advantage" are being used, it starts coming across as some type of business deal.

Might be time to reconsider that relationship.

 

[confused_amoeba]

Not a bad problem to have honestly. But the man needs to understand his role and expectations. If he approaches this relationship with a typical patronizing way that most desi men approach marriage than it will end up in disaster. I know a few men in similar situations. They know their role, they are comfortable in their skin and have no hang ups about the wife earning more than them. If your friend can do that than proceed forward. With the divorce rate being so high nowadays, not a bad idea to have prenup. The girl in this relationship is very smart. Your friend should be happy to have find a smart person to be with.

 

[CricketCartoons]

Gus Fring: What does a man do, Walter? A man provides for his family.

Gus Fring: And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.

 

[TalentSpotterPk]

Actually it is a good idea to stay single, the law system favours women too much, marriage is a bad deal in the west.

In Pakistan it's different feminism is non existent for the most part.

Refer to me a video of your Sect where Your Aalim discusses Pre-Nup from Islamic Point of View.

 

[kaayal]

Guys,
I have a friend and he is earning pretty good money,he is dating someone who makes even more than him. He is not stingy but also Don't want her to take advantage of this situation. He doesn't mind taking care of the house but his savings will be nothing if he start pitching 50/50. She also want Prenup before marriage and he is just unsure how to work around it.

I thought to ask people here, what is the best way to do this?

Marriage cannot survive without trust. Whether there is prenup or not, ask your friend to trust his wife and to work on his relationship. In the end, everything is for them....