Mother versus Wife

[KingKhanWC]

Seeing the issues Amir Khan is having atm.

Hypothetical scenario.

You are married but your wife and mother do not get along. You also have a child.

They both demand you don't speak to the other.

Who would you choose?

 

[waqar goraya]

Speak with both.

 

[Rayyman]

Both.

 

[world cup captain]

Neither, both have to come to a agreement. The mother needs to give room to her son as he is married now. There is no need to dictate his life. The wife, on the other hand, needs to understand that Amir's mother cannot disappear in the air.

 

[Suleiman]

Depends on the scenario, you can't just point blank choose sides without knowing what the issue is in the first place...

 

[IgnitedMind]

I am sorry, but from what I have seen..it is usually the mothers problem. Inability of desi parents to stop parenting is just ridiculous.

 

[Major]

depends on the scenario.

The amir's wife thing is just ridiculous. Whatever her problems her why is there a need for her to go public? THats just stupid.

there are always 2 sides towards a story.

Sometimes the wife could be wrong, sometimes the mother.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Depends on the scenario, you can't just point blank choose sides without knowing what the issue is in the first place...

Just say they are both in the wrong for whatever reason but demand you choose one?

For me I would stick with my mother. You can always find another wife....I suppose.

 

[The_KING]

I personally don't think a son should live with his parents after marriage. In our culture, it's unfortunately expected of sons to live with their parents forever even after marriage. That's why you see so many problems in desi households because the mother and the daughter-in-law never get along. Thankfully my mother is an understanding not so clingy mother so I don't think I would have to deal with this saas bahu fights.

As for the question, I would choose to stand up for the one that is right. Unfortunately majority of Pakistani men will always stand up for their mothers even if the mother is in the wrong and the poor wife is not to blame. But I'm not like that.

 

[The_KING]

Just say they are both in the wrong for whatever reason but demand you choose one?

For me I would stick with my mother. You can always find another wife....I suppose.

Wow what a pathetic thing to say. So if your mother is wrong you would still stick up for her over your wife who wasn't to blame? If that's the case then you should leave your wife because she is probably better off without you.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Wow what a pathetic thing to say. So if your mother is wrong you would still stick up for her over your wife who wasn't to blame? If that's the case then you should leave your wife because she is probably better off without you.

Relax this is a hypothetical scenario.

Also If you read above, I did state let's assume they are BOTH wrong.

It normally takes two to tango.

 

[javiersuka]

Nothing comes close to mother, she will be with her children without any selfish reason in both good as well as bad circumstance, whose feelings towards you remain same irrespective of any circumstances.

Looking at the high divorce rates and harassment that comes along with it, these same wives will dump a man when he's at the lowest level already. How many Mothers would dump their children in any circumstances?

 

[KingKhanWC]

Nothing comes close to mother, she will be with her children without any selfish reason in both good as well as bad circumstance, whose feelings towards you remain same irrespective of any circumstances.

]Looking at the high divorce rates and harassment that comes along with it, these same wives will dump a man when he's at the lowest level already. How many Mothers would dump their children in any circumstances?[\QUOTE]

Great point. A mother is loyal until the end.....regardless if her son is an angel or a devil.

 

[PakLFC]

Mum! There is only one Mum, can have two of everything else. Wife's decision is normally influenced by the interfering in laws. Way to heaven is by satisfying the Mum not Wife.

 

[The_KING]

Nothing comes close to mother, she will be with her children without any selfish reason in both good as well as bad circumstance, whose feelings towards you remain same irrespective of any circumstances.

Looking at the high divorce rates and harassment that comes along with it, these same wives will dump a man when he's at the lowest level already. How many Mothers would dump their children in any circumstances?

Yeah because high divorce rates is always the wives' fault?

 

[Major]

Mum! There is only one Mum, can have two of everything else. Wife's decision is normally influenced by the interfering in laws. Way to heaven is by satisfying the Mum not Wife.

i think thats wrong mentality.

Remember one thing, a wife leaves behind her parents to be with you.

 

[The_KING]

Relax this is a hypothetical scenario.

Also If you read above, I did state let's assume they are BOTH wrong.

It normally takes two to tango.

Yeah good luck with settling with a woman if you keep divorcing your wife everytime your wife and your mother have a fight.

 

[Waseem]

I personally don't think a son should live with his parents after marriage. In our culture, it's unfortunately expected of sons to live with their parents forever even after marriage. That's why you see so many problems in desi households because the mother and the daughter-in-law never get along. Thankfully my mother is an understanding not so clingy mother so I don't think I would have to deal with this saas bahu fights.

As for the question, I would choose to stand up for the one that is right. Unfortunately majority of Pakistani men will always stand up for their mothers even if the mother is in the wrong and the poor wife is not to blame. But I'm not like that.

That made me smile, it is a totally different story AFTER you get married especially if you live together.

More often than not, it's no one's fault so clashes are natural. It takes a lot of sacrifices from both sides to live happily and to be honest it's not entirely impossible.

 

[HussainRx8]

You have to be a statesman and engage in a lot of conflict resolution. Desi marriages are not for the faint-hearted.

 

[Noman]

Well It is NOT hard to find WHO is wrong, but you gotta be are a Real man.

 

[troodon]

A mother who loves her son very much will never come between her and his wife.

 

[Donal Cozzie]

Speak with both.

Explain how they can have their squabbles but for them to try and force you to choose between them is utmost stupidity and highlights their pettiness and selfish nature.

 

[s28]

Paradise lies at the feet of your mother
Paradise lies at the feet of your mother
Paradise lies at the feet of your mother

 

[Suleiman]

Just say they are both in the wrong for whatever reason but demand you choose one?

For me I would stick with my mother. You can always find another wife....I suppose.

I'd try not to pick sides, but if I had to it'd be my mother as well.

 

[HussainRx8]

Paradise lies at the feet of your mother
Paradise lies at the feet of your mother
Paradise lies at the feet of your mother

Sir, I suggest you also read about the rights that wives have over their husbands. Quran has set very clear parameters.

 

[HussainRx8]

Just say they are both in the wrong for whatever reason but demand you choose one?

For me I would stick with my mother. You can always find another wife....I suppose.

If that's your logic, then what's the point of having a wife in the first place? Most people marry due to the mutual love and respect they have for each other.

 

[s28]

Yes wives and husbands have separate rights/responsibilities over each other. But there is no equivalent hadith or quranic verse saying paradise lies at the feet of your spouse.

 

[Rafa]

Mother offcourse, Would prefer to be a good son anyway over a bootlicking Joru Ka Gulaam.

A woman who is not able to adjust with the mother doesn't even deserve to be in the same house.

Asking a son not to talk to his Mother? Don't know what sort of idiot would still want to continue the relationship with such a divisive woman after that.

 

[PakLFC]

i think thats wrong mentality.

Remember one thing, a wife leaves behind her parents to be with you.

Nothing "mentally wrong" about it at all. The Qur'an makes the mother's status very clear. The wife chooses to leave her parents where as a Mum puts her life on the line to bring her children in to the world. She then goes on to raise them so very unconditionally. You know your Mum since the day you come in to this world. Your wife enters your life much later on.

 

[ahmedwaqas92]

This a very strange thread....for me at least !!

I am around 24 at the moment but strangely enough my parents have directed me that the day I get married, I need to find my own place and settle down independently. Even though I am overseas at the moment and technically independent but don't you think.... Isn't this weird ??

I mean you'd expect the parents to actually enforce a joint family methodology specially for the Eldest Son but contrary to popular beliefs they want me to move out

My Dad was all like: 'Once you get married, you're invited to dine and socialize with us but I cannot allow you to be here on a permanent basis - so before you marry, please find your own domestic lodging'

- I am really contemplating on not getting married anytime soon I guess ; this kind of a move will seriously dent my income big time !!

 

[PakLFC]

You can have more then one of everything like kids, cousins, siblings, friends and even partners. But there is only Mum and Dad. In Islam a mother's status is far higher then that off the wife.

 

[Major]

Nothing "mentally wrong" about it at all. The Qur'an makes the mother's status very clear. The wife chooses to leave her parents where as a Mum puts her life on the line to bring her children in to the world. She then goes on to raise them so very unconditionally. You know your Mum since the day you come in to this world. Your wife enters your life much later on.

but that does not mean that moms are always right. We cant follow everyone blindly.

 

[PakLFC]

but that does not mean that moms are always right. We cant follow everyone blindly.

In that case we need to reason with them and make them understand. Can't leave them in old age just because we believe they are wrong. We were often wrong as kids as well but our Mum's never left us.

 

[hafeezrocks]

Mother v/s Father could have been a tough choice, this is no contest.

Mother is an inseparable, irreplaceable part of life. If it comes to an extreme point where things don't work, then the wife will be replaced with any remorse or regret.

 

[PakLFC]

A mother has great pride in herself and rightly so. She won't admit her error/s even if in her heart she believes she is wrong. Old age makes Mum similar to a baby so we need to treat her with kid gloves. Remember, we will most probably get old as well. Won't be happy to see our kids walk out on us. Need to explain to the wife that what if tomorrow you're in the position that my Mum is in today under threat of your kid's walking out on you.

 

[HussainRx8]

A mother has great pride in herself and rightly so. She won't admit her error/s even if in her heart she believes she is wrong. Old age makes Mum similar to a baby so we need to treat her with kid gloves. Remember, we will most probably get old as well. Won't be happy to see our kids walk out on us. Need to explain to the wife that what if tomorrow you're in the position that my Mum is in today under threat of your kid's walking out on you.

PakLFC, as usual, you're a voice of reason. Thank you.

 

[Dman]

Can live without a wife, but never without Mother.

 

[Syed1]

Your mom needs to realize that she isn't the main woman in your life anymore and can't boss you around.

Guys in Pakistan are far too pampered at home, their mom brings garam plate for her laal, they never have to clean up after themselves, do the dishes or the laundry and cooking food is completely out of the question. The mother handles all of these responsibilities and when the wife comes she takes over and the mom begins to feel like she is losing grip over her son, hence the constant friction with the wife.

If the men weren't too much of a sissy and were able to look after themselves then this situation won't arise.

 

[CricketCartoons]

Mom was very important to me when growing up. Now time for my wife to be the most important person.

 

[Zak_Fan]

I will definitely pick a side based on who I think is right. As for not speaking to the other person, that's not upto either one of them to decide.

 

[czar]

The primary reason why I might even contemplate about marriage is to bring someone at home who could take care of my aging parents while I'm away.

Now it's their time to rest and relax While it's my time to repay for all the sacrifices they have made throughout their lives for my wellbeing. Now, if a Wife is not able to understand that and adjust accordingly then she's not worth it.

 

[Itachi]

Generally i'll chose the wife. (one circumstance against is, if the mother has no one to support her).

In our culture, the wife leaves her home to be with you. That's a great sacrifice and you have to respect that.

If the wife is quarreling unreasonable, then get separated not because you chosed your mother but because she wasn't fit to be in the marriage.

Husband-wife relationship is no lesser than a son-mother relationship. Each has their own place.

Wife also plays many roles in life.... That of a friend, a sister, a mother, a lover, a teacher....

To all those saying, it'll be wife bootlicker, same can be said about the other one as mama's boy.

Put yourself in neutral and look from both perspective. If you are biased in the first place, then you'll look only from one perspective and that'll paint a misleading picture.

 

[HussainRx8]

The primary reason why I might even contemplate about marriage is to bring someone at home who could take care of my aging parents while I'm away.

Now it's their time to rest and relax While it's my time to repay for all the sacrifices they have made throughout their lives for my wellbeing. Now, if a Wife is not able to understand that and adjust accordingly then she's not worth it.

You've got some mythical image of what a marriage is. Why not get a caregiver or a maid to take care of your parents while you're away.

 

[kingusama92]

You choose what's best for your child. The only innocent party in all of this.

Bickering adults shouldn't decide the fate of a child/grandchild because they can't act their age.

 

[santos11]

Lol @ Mother Son relationship being equal to that of Wife Husband, considering the failure rate for the latter over petty issues and frequent changing of partners.

Who knows the Wife Husband relationship might not even survive next couple of centuries, considering the rate at which it keeps failing and how selfish, self centered, shallow it has become.

More and more number of men in the West are opting to stay unmarried, fully aware of the consequences of being in the wonderful Wife Husband relationship. Marriage is fast becoming a joke and only Asians feel that it is still compulsory to go through this outdated process which brings more harm than good.

 

[sjahmed23]

I really don't know because I haven't dealt with a situation like this before but I like peace of mind in my home and anyone that tries to destroy that is going against me, regardless of what the situation is. I hate drama and people who hold grudges, whatever you have to say, say it so we can all move with our lives.

and looking at Amir Khan's situation, his wife is a drama queen and I don't believe his mother can raise a son like Amir if she was so flawed.

 

[Major]

Your mom needs to realize that she isn't the main woman in your life anymore and can't boss you around.

Guys in Pakistan are far too pampered at home, their mom brings garam plate for her laal, they never have to clean up after themselves, do the dishes or the laundry and cooking food is completely out of the question. The mother handles all of these responsibilities and when the wife comes she takes over and the mom begins to feel like she is losing grip over her son, hence the constant friction with the wife.

If the men weren't too much of a sissy and were able to look after themselves then this situation won't arise.

Oh come on, we all love being pampered dont pretend that you dont

 

[boomboomcheema]

Mother
Mother
Mother
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Mother

No other person can be more important than the one who goes through intense pain for 9 months to bring you into this world.

 

[Indiafan]

Nothing comes close to mother, she will be with her children without any selfish reason in both good as well as bad circumstance, whose feelings towards you remain same irrespective of any circumstances.

Looking at the high divorce rates and harassment that comes along with it, these same wives will dump a man when he's at the lowest level already. How many Mothers would dump their children in any circumstances?

A father and mother look after their child. So doesn't the husband and wife then concentrate on their children too?

And so to you high divorce rate and much more harassment which happens from the husband to their wives don't count? And no, in the world mothers dump their children, abuse them, all the time.

What is funny to me is, most such opinions come from people who are not married or not even in a relationships and they have a really unhealthy view of women. They know about mother's love because they all have mothers. But until they have a wife, they cannot

I am just adding to the discussion. This is a topic where I dont think anyone should have to make a choice

 

[Indiafan]

Mother
Mother
Mother
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Mother

No other person can be more important than the one who goes through intense pain for 9 months to bring you into this world.

What if you and your wife has a kid? Then what will be your choice?

 

[PakLFC]

I have to laugh at those who put their wife before their Mum This song is for you boy's. May Allah give you lot wisdom!

 

[PakLFC]

What if you and your wife has a kid? Then what will be your choice?

Still parents first so that when I get old my kid's put me first as well. They will see how well I treated my Mum and Dad, that will be a great example to them. This is not to suggest that I will not love and care for my kid's and wife. When we get married our parents are old by then thereby depend on us like we did on them once.

 

[LongHorn]

The realities of life are such that (something a lot of unmarried guys are blissfully unaware of) is that often a conflict between a parent and spouse is actually a conflict based on the parents supporting a sibling of the guy ....

One scenario which is not uncommon in various forms: parents want married son to help out unemployed/unestablished sibling, married son is reluctant because he feels younger brother is not trying hard enough for a job, and that leads to an extended conflict between parents and wife ...

you have other permutations of this situation involving property share as well .....

 

[kingusama92]

Still parents first so that when I get old my kid's put me first as well. They will see how well I treated my Mum and Dad, that will be a great example to them. This is not to suggest that I will not love and care for my kid's and wife. When we get married our parents are old by then thereby depend on us like we did on them once.

But you'd divorce the child's mother. What are the chances the child will put you first in the future? Slim at best.

Child support and visitation hours won't mean much to the child. If the mother gets full custody (happens in many cases) you are shut right out.

Supporting one's mother is wonderful but it should be done with a clear mind knowing what the consequences are of this decision.

It's not a decision one should make lightly or with a preconceived notion of who is right.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

The primary reason why I might even contemplate about marriage is to bring someone at home who could take care of my aging parents while I'm away.

Now it's their time to rest and relax While it's my time to repay for all the sacrifices they have made throughout their lives for my wellbeing. Now, if a Wife is not able to understand that and adjust accordingly then she's not worth it.

Your wife is also presumably going to be a mother and she will also presumably make sacrifices to bring up her kids. Parents are your world when you are a child but there comes a time when you have to grow up and be responsible for your own household.

That said I would have had more sympathy with Mrs Khan if she'd dealt with her personal problems in-house. In general though I'm not a fan of married couples living with their in-laws. Yes there comes a problem when parents are ageing but that is a complex issue which affects all societies not just desis.

 

[Zak_Fan]

Mother
Mother
Mother
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.
.
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Mother

No other person can be more important than the one who goes through intense pain for 9 months to bring you into this world.

Personally, I find this kind of blind allegiance a little sad. Yes, mothers go through a lot of pain, but this doesn't turn them into pious human beings who will always be right. Some of them are just evil to their daughter-in-laws. You can't be unfair to your wife just because the person hating happens to be your mom, and vice versa.

 

[desirous of desire]

I wouldnt pick a side , tell them both that i cant live without anyone, will find a new house nearby if i can afford and ask my children not to offend both of their heavens but dont listen to them if they conspire against each other.
If I can not afford a new house, I would leave a voice recorder on at some hidden location where they are most likely to rant against each other and will check its functioning from time to time.

 

[JaDed]

Binary situation is not a SC thing so lets not get into two choices also guys should remember how would they feel if the situation reverses and it goes Dad vs Husband for the girl.

 

[Zaz]

The ideal way to deal with such a situation is to move out straightaway after marriage if u can A lttle distance n space is a great way to keep family life civil and happy because once certain things and said and done no matter how many bridges are repaired it ll never be the same as if you left on amicable terms initially

However if this isnt possible (parents are old, your the only son etc) then in any tug of war the best way to deal with such a situation is be neutral Let both sides know in private that theyve got to be understanding and patient with each other for your sake

If you see something unjust being done or said speak up about it in a calm manner Judge a situation on what you see and not what you hear but dont burn bridges

Remember your parents are your responsibility and not your wifes She shouldnt be expected to become the domestic slave whilst for eg your mum, you and your sisters put their feet

Every situation is different and should be judged accordingly but remember moving out will not ruin ur relation with ur parents but staying at home with a bickering wife and parents may well ruin both

On the flip side Make sure divorce is a very last option esp when kids are involved

 

[LongHorn]

Binary situation is not a SC thing so lets not get into two choices also guys should remember how would they feel if the situation reverses and it goes Dad vs Husband for the girl.

I have seen both situations within the same family, and desi traditional types tend to say son should follow mother blindly and girl should follow husband (because that is what "Samaaj" says)

 

[street cricketer]

This is a ubiquitous phenomenon in desi households. The boy gets married with the blessings of the parents. But then gradually the mother feels possessive about her son and fears that the daughter-in-law might take her son away from them which results in a lot of hassles. The daughter-in-law also many times fails to adapt to the different home which results in small problems getting blown out of proportions. It's all about going through that phase and managing the two which can be the most difficult job for the son.

But I find all the "mother is the best..." posts a bit funny. Because all sons say the same thing before marriage. It's actually a clichéd statement, but almost always the guys end up choosing the wife ahead of the mother when these situations arise after marriage regardless of who is at fault.

 

[Bewal Express]

I have been in the some of the scenarios suggested and it is incredibly difficult. For a start the problem is that unlike the husband, the wife and mother stay at home all day and end up living in each others pocket( and end up watching the same bloody desi dramas about the same issues) and any small problem gets magnified because time isnt there to be away from each other to let it heal, then you have the build up of these small problems and one day they just explode. From that moment onwards, everything is remembered and logged until the next time and then everything is brought up again. I feel for anybody in that situation and it gave me more stress than teaching ever did and teaching is incredibly stressful.

 

[street cricketer]

I have been in the some of the scenarios suggested and it is incredibly difficult. For a start the problem is that unlike the husband, the wife and mother stay at home all day and end up living in each others pocket( and end up watching the same bloody desi dramas about the same issues) and any small problem gets magnified because time isnt there to be away from each other to let it heal, then you have the build up of these small problems and one day they just explode. From that moment onwards, everything is remembered and logged until the next time and then everything is brought up again. I feel for anybody in that situation and it gave me more stress than teaching ever did and teaching is incredibly stressful.

Lol I feel for you.

 

[kingusama92]

I have been in the some of the scenarios suggested and it is incredibly difficult. For a start the problem is that unlike the husband, the wife and mother stay at home all day and end up living in each others pocket( and end up watching the same bloody desi dramas about the same issues) and any small problem gets magnified because time isnt there to be away from each other to let it heal, then you have the build up of these small problems and one day they just explode. From that moment onwards, everything is remembered and logged until the next time and then everything is brought up again. I feel for anybody in that situation and it gave me more stress than teaching ever did and teaching is incredibly stressful.

Husband coming home from work.

 

[Robert]

Just say they are both in the wrong for whatever reason but demand you choose one?

For me I would stick with my mother. You can always find another wife....I suppose.

In The Bible, there are at least four separate verses stating that a man must eventually leave his mother and cleave unto his wife.

 

[kaayal]

In any disputes the husband should take a stance in favour of the mother as she expects a lot from her ladla beta. Hurting her will be like killing a part of her. So don't get angry on her even if she is on the wrong side.

Being a wife i just let go off my ego in front of my in-laws but blast my husband when i get into our room. It feels free a lot after letting out all my frustrations in front of him lol.

Still better to stay away and visit and call them more often than not. They are elders, need respect and care a lot.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

In The Bible, there are at least four separate verses stating that a man must eventually leave his mother and cleave unto his wife.

Which is basically what I said in my earlier post and I've never even read the Bible. Great minds think alike.

 

[Waseem]

There is a reason men suffer lot more heart attacks than women

 

[sensible-indian-fan]

Why tension?

Better to divorce both and get a new wife.

 

[The_KING]

The primary reason why I might even contemplate about marriage is to bring someone at home who could take care of my aging parents while I'm away.

Now it's their time to rest and relax While it's my time to repay for all the sacrifices they have made throughout their lives for my wellbeing. Now, if a Wife is not able to understand that and adjust accordingly then she's not worth it.

That's the problem with Asian men. Many of them think that girl they marry is some slave who is only there to look after him and his family and has no rights of her own. Lol at that being the primary reason you will get married. If that's the case then why bot get a maid or something?

 

[Hamza_]

Wife.

 

[Mamoon]

Pray for a good wife and a good mother, and it will not become a war.

 

[Syed1]

I have been in the some of the scenarios suggested and it is incredibly difficult. For a start the problem is that unlike the husband, the wife and mother stay at home all day and end up living in each others pocket( and end up watching the same bloody desi dramas about the same issues) and any small problem gets magnified because time isnt there to be away from each other to let it heal, then you have the build up of these small problems and one day they just explode. From that moment onwards, everything is remembered and logged until the next time and then everything is brought up again. I feel for anybody in that situation and it gave me more stress than teaching ever did and teaching is incredibly stressful.

Hang in there brother. Don't lose hope

 

[Rayyman]

Pray for a good wife and a good mother, and it will not become a war.

Ameen bro.

 

[Syed1]

My dadi passed away when I was too young so I never witnessed the saas-bahu phaday between my dadi and ami. However, from what I'm told my dadi was very nonchalant and never really got in anybody's way so there wasn't any tension.

My mom and begum haven't had any friction yet (primarily because they live on opposite ends of the planet).


One way of curbing this 'phada' is having your wife go to work. When she will come home thak haar ke she won't have any himmat to pick any fights and there will be a little distance between ami and begum which will actually develop a stronger bond.


I don't want to come home from work dunya se lar lara ke aur phir ghar par bhi larai dekhoon..

 

[GLORY OF '92]

This is a ubiquitous phenomenon in desi households. The boy gets married with the blessings of the parents. But then gradually the mother feels possessive about her son and fears that the daughter-in-law might take her son away from them which results in a lot of hassles. The daughter-in-law also many times fails to adapt to the different home which results in small problems getting blown out of proportions. It's all about going through that phase and managing the two which can be the most difficult job for the son.

But I find all the "mother is the best..." posts a bit funny. Because all sons say the same thing before marriage. It's actually a clichéd statement, but almost always the guys end up choosing the wife ahead of the mother when these situations arise after marriage regardless of who is at fault.

Great post.

 

[GLORY OF '92]

Pray for a good wife and a good mother, and it will not become a war.

True but in reality no matter how much they like each other there will be issues.

Key is to stay neutral and calm. If they both love you it will be fine.

 

[GLORY OF '92]

I have been in the some of the scenarios suggested and it is incredibly difficult. For a start the problem is that unlike the husband, the wife and mother stay at home all day and end up living in each others pocket( and end up watching the same bloody desi dramas about the same issues) and any small problem gets magnified because time isnt there to be away from each other to let it heal, then you have the build up of these small problems and one day they just explode. From that moment onwards, everything is remembered and logged until the next time and then everything is brought up again. I feel for anybody in that situation and it gave me more stress than teaching ever did and teaching is incredibly stressful.

Brilliant post and closest to reality.

 

[troodon]

A working wife is always better in cases where there are daily quarrels between Mom and wife.

The less time wife and Mom spend together the better it is for both of them especially in families where Son stays with parents even after marriage and does not move out.

Another simple solution is, live separately from Parents to avoid daily dramas at home.

 

[troodon]

In any disputes the husband should take a stance in favour of the mother as she expects a lot from her ladla beta. Hurting her will be like killing a part of her. So don't get angry on her even if she is on the wrong side.

Being a wife i just let go off my ego in front of my in-laws but blast my husband when i get into our room. It feels free a lot after letting out all my frustrations in front of him lol.

Still better to stay away and visit and call them more often than not. They are elders, need respect and care a lot.

Everytime you yell at your husband after he comes from work, always remember that he is silent in front of you. But internally he is giving you choicest Galis too.

Husband silent does not mean that you can walk all over him and take out your anger on him.