The best excuses thread

[Saj]

What's the best excuses you've heard?

What was the situation and what was the excuse?

 

[Abdul]

Family issues, just say it's personal.

No questions asked whatsoever.

 

[Muhammad10]

"Your country (or country of origin) has issues, so you don't have the right to criticise mine."

Standard cop out in order to deflect criticism aimed at one's country.

 

[sjahmed23]

Food poisoning aka diarrhea. Always works and no one asks for further details.

 

[Suleiman]

Next time you have a flat tire, take a picture of it. Easily reusable excuse for when you are late / not coming, just send the pic as proof and you're done.

Obviously works once per place you work in, otherwise people will get a little suspicious that the exact same tire in the exact same setting was punctured.

Life hacks 101.

 

[Slog]

In Pakistan blaming a VIP movement (of politicians generally) is always a safe excuse as to why you were late

 

[Little Master]

Food poisoning aka diarrhea. Always works and no one asks for further details.

Lol, when I was working with a big 4, I came up with that excuse once and whatsapped the Director (the guy I was reporting to) that I am suffering from food poisoning so won't be coming in to work. He calls me up and asks how I am doing and whether the issue is through the mouth or bottom (his exact words, I kid you not). Followed by awkard silence from my side and then I say I am ******** my *** out. He is like ok, take care. Just wanted to check how you were doing.

 

[big_gamer007]

1. Didn't go to work on Monday and when boss called and asked in afternoon told him I thought its Sunday.. He didn't have any words after listening to this..

2. Took 10 days leave telling boss that my "mama (mothers brother) is lost so I'm going to find him".. Again no one knows how to respond to this..

But ultimately your boss will have his say during appraisal time..

 

[Suleiman]

1. Didn't go to work on Monday and when boss called and asked in afternoon told him I thought its Sunday.. He didn't have any words after listening to this..

2. Took 10 days leave telling boss that my "mama (mothers brother) is lost so I'm going to find him".. Again no one knows how to respond to this..

But ultimately your boss will have his say during appraisal time..

) If I was the boss I would've given you 10 days more whether it was true or not.

 

[Justcrazy]

1. Didn't go to work on Monday and when boss called and asked in afternoon told him I thought its Sunday.. He didn't have any words after listening to this..

2. Took 10 days leave telling boss that my "mama (mothers brother) is lost so I'm going to find him".. Again no one knows how to respond to this..

But ultimately your boss will have his say during appraisal time..

Boss must be a fool to accept such excuses.

 

[Abdul]

It wasn't me.

 

[Yossarian]

When working on a government related project in Saudi, I was informed that all those employees (both Saudi's and foreigners) who were directly contracted to the parent organisation of the project were entitled to upto 10 days compassionate leave in any given year in addition to their normal holiday leave allocation (which varied according to the post held and/or nationality).

A colleague told me that one of his Saudi employees had put in a request for 10 days compassionate leave starting on a specific date in two months time.

Unfortunately he forgot to tell me the reason given for the compassionate leave request.

(Perhaps a pending execution of a close relative?)

 

[Abdullah719]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Missing money was "swallowed by snake," claims a Nigerian official accused of pocketing 36 million naira ($100,000; £72,000). <br><br>What's the worst excuse you've heard? <a href="https://t.co/SWXShJOefe">https://t.co/SWXShJOefe</a> <a href="https://t.co/jPcvbxj84y">pic.twitter.com/jPcvbxj84y</a></p>— BBC Africa (@BBCAfrica) <a href="https://twitter.com/BBCAfrica/status/963084062343737344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 12, 2018</a></blockquote>
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