What have been some of your life's unpleasant experiences?

[mominsaigol]

In the UK, we have a computer test (theory test) and then a practical driving test.

Driving test in Canada seems harder than the one in UK.

Yeah. More bureaucracy/red tapes in Canada.

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

 

[psyoptica]

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

Depends where in Canada. I have seen test centers run by indians who will pass anyone with atrocious driving skills. Brampton is one example.

 

[sweep_shot]

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

I see.

Did she give the test in Toronto (or another major city)? It is generally harder to pass in big cities because roads are super-busy.

One strategy for passing is to give the test outside of big cities. I gave my test in a small city called Peterborough. It is easier there and I passed.

 

[mominsaigol]

Depends where in Canada. I have seen test centers run by indians who will pass anyone with atrocious driving skills. Brampton is one example.

I see.

Did she give the test in Toronto (or another major city)? It is generally harder to pass in big cities because roads are super-busy.

One strategy for passing is to give the test outside of big cities. I gave my test in a small city called Peterborough. It is easier there and I passed.

In Toronto yes. Or I assume so, her husband lived in Toronto before marriage and currently she is on a spouse visa but will eventually transition to a passport. They married recently like 5 months ago.

So I assume their still in Toronto

 

[sweep_shot]

Being broke and starving. Being dumped by someone i thought i was gonna marry.

I have come a long way.

In year 2017, I was close to personal bankruptcy. I had a student loan of $55K, credit card loan of $11.5K, car loan of $10.5K, and around $6K of other loans. I was contempleting bankruptcy.

However, I managed to clear all of my debts by 2023 by the grace of Allah (SWT). I have been debt-free since January of 2023.

I also got rejected by my high school crush. I was attracted to her for 6-8 years. At that time, I wasn't very religious. Anyway, the rejection doesn't hurt me anymore because I have become religious and she doesn't wear any hijab. I am not sure if she prays 5 times; if the lady doesn't pray, I don't want her.

Death of my grandmother and grandfather who i was deeply attached to. I fell into a depression and took me a while to recover.

I experienced this.

While I wasn't depressed like you, I felt bad and I regularly pray for my deceased paternal grandparents. Probably the only 2 relatives who I genuinely care about.

 

[LordJames]

there is a great book called Barakah effect where the main point is to attain barakah rather than aim for salary, ( of course salary is important) but basically a job can be a form of worship when approached with the right intentions and mindset. Striving to do the best for your employer will give you barakah

Podcast with the Author

 

[sweep_shot]

I want to share another unpleasant experience.

I know this one Bangladeshi auntie in Toronto. She runs an organization. She once asked for some clerical help. So, I helped.

Since then, she has been constantly asking me to do similar clerical things for her organization. LOL. Very annoying.

I asked her to give me a professional reference. She refused.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have offered to help. I ended up doing many hours of free work. She even doesn't want to give me a reference.

I don't think I will be helping another middle-aged Bangladeshi auntie again.

 

[BouncerGuy]

I want to share another unpleasant experience.

I know this one Bangladeshi auntie in Toronto. She runs an organization. She once asked for some clerical help. So, I helped.

Since then, she has been constantly asking me to do similar clerical things for her organization. LOL. Very annoying.

I asked her to give me a professional reference. She refused.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have offered to help. I ended up doing many hours of free work. She even doesn't want to give me a reference.

I don't think I will be helping another middle-aged Bangladeshi auntie again.

These freeloaders should be dealt with some anger... Pathetic stuff

 

[sweep_shot]

These freeloaders should be dealt with some anger... Pathetic stuff

Agree.

Nobody should work for free. Time is very valuable.

There has to be payment or something in return (for example, a recommendation letter or a reference).

Some people are very entitled I guess.

 

[BouncerGuy]

Agree.

Nobody should work for free. Time is very valuable.

There has to be payment or something in return (for example, a recommendation letter or a reference).

Some people are very entitled I guess.

yes... letter of recommendation is the least they can do..

 

[LordJames]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

 

[sweep_shot]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

Nice story.

It is good when people accept their mistakes and apologize.

At my last job, there was this one coworker who was rude to me. I also suspect she was gossipping and spreading fake news about me. I ended up leaving the job and I now work somewhere else. Very glad I do not have to deal with that trashy lady any more.

I try to forgive people and I forgive people 99% of the time. However, there are times when I may not forgive and I may make duas against those people. One such person who I never want to forgive is one of my uncle's wives. She has caused damage to my reputation and caused conflicts in my family and also my mother's side of family. May she receive God's punishment both in this world and next world (proportional to what she has done). No forgiveness for this wicked lady even if she apologizes now. Do the crime, do the time.

 

[sweep_shot]

Another unpleasant experience was due to Trump.

His tariff war and stupid tweets caused a crypto crash which caused me to suffer financial losses.

Can't wait for this madman to leave office so that things can return to normalcy (hopefully).

 

[psyoptica]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

 

[psyoptica]

Another unpleasant experience was due to Trump.

His tariff war and stupid tweets caused a crypto crash which caused me to suffer financial losses.

Can't wait for this madman to leave office so that things can return to normalcy (hopefully).

Oh man. Crypto investment is very risky. You should have taken that into consideration.
I trust US economy to do well and always bounce back from a crash and I invest in US index funds but Trump is making these choices very difficult. I’m having to redistribute my shares to lean on international stocks.

 

[sweep_shot]

Oh man. Crypto investment is very risky. You should have taken that into consideration.
I trust US economy to do well and always bounce back from a crash and I invest in US index funds but Trump is making these choices very difficult. I’m having to redistribute my shares to lean on international stocks.

Yeah. Cryptos are risky but some people have made money.

It was going along nicely till Trump messed it up in October. Things have gone downhill since then.

Anyway, I still hold a bit of cryptos. However, I have converted most of my crypto holdings into gold. I think gold is always the safest investment.

 

[psyoptica]

Yeah. Cryptos are risky but some people have made money.

It was going along nicely till Trump messed it up in October. Things have gone downhill since then.

Anyway, I still hold a bit of cryptos. However, I have converted most of my crypto holdings into gold. I think gold is always the safest investment.

You should have held on and waited for them to rise again.

 

[sweep_shot]

You should have held on and waited for them to rise again.

It kept on dipping. LOL. I didn't want to lose everything. So, took a loss. Hopefully gold will help me recover some of those losses. Gold's price keeps on rising.

I still hold XRP and HBAR. Didn't sell those.

From the Epstein files, I learned that Bitcoin was apparently backed by Epstein. So, I don't want to own this coin any further. I may get a bit of Ethereum again but not now.

 

[hks222]

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

Most of pak girls are cringe

 

[LordJames]

Nice story.

It is good when people accept their mistakes and apologize.

At my last job, there was this one coworker who was rude to me. I also suspect she was gossipping and spreading fake news about me. I ended up leaving the job and I now work somewhere else. Very glad I do not have to deal with that trashy lady any more.

I try to forgive people and I forgive people 99% of the time. However, there are times when I may not forgive and I may make duas against those people. One such person who I never want to forgive is one of my uncle's wives. She has caused damage to my reputation and caused conflicts in my family and also my mother's side of family. May she receive God's punishment both in this world and next world (proportional to what she has done). No forgiveness for this wicked lady even if she apologizes now. Do the crime, do the time.

Well, people can say sour grapes or whatever but when I reflect back she wasn't compatible with me but because she was the only person with Hijab I sort of gravitated towards her with hormones raging and whatnot.

Short Term:

I felt hurt, humiliated, angry and despondent. I felt like a loser and everything...

Long Term:

Allah Ta'ala saved me because it probably wouldn't have worked.

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

Send a box of...

 

[sweep_shot]

Well, people can say sour grapes or whatever but when I reflect back she wasn't compatible with me but because she was the only person with Hijab I sort of gravitated towards her with hormones raging and whatnot.

Short Term:

I felt hurt, humiliated, angry and despondent. I felt like a loser and everything...

Long Term:

Allah Ta'ala saved me because it probably wouldn't have worked.


May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

Send a box of...

Yes.

Compatability is very important.

Religiosity and compatability.

 

[Rajdeep]

Once, I was travelling from Hyderabad to Bangalore on an overnight Volvo bus. I was a teenager back then. A few rowdy-looking guys were sitting behind me...the typical “mafia-type” appearance.

As the bus left the city and entered the darkness of the highway, I tried to recline my seat to sleep. One of them told me not to recline it because they wanted more leg space. I didn’t argue and simply obliged.

However, a middle-aged man sitting next to me seemed to feel sympathetic and started arguing with them in Kannada. Many passengers were already fed up with those men by now as they were drinking alcohol, making noise, and playing loud music. Before I could even process what was happening, the man next to me slapped one of them for not allowing me to recline my seat. A full-blown brawl broke out, and the man who defended me got beaten badly. The bus driver eventually intervened and threatened to call the police if the chaos continued. Somehow, things calmed down.

About an hour later, the bus stopped at a service station. Those men started speaking loudly on the phone, saying there are “two guys” and that their people should be ready at the Bangalore bus station in the morning to “take care of them.” One of them even patted my shoulder and said, “Tomorrow morning, be ready for an a** whipping.”

I was terrified and didn’t know what to do.

Around 1 a.m., when most passengers were asleep, I went to the driver and told him I wanted to get off. He said it wasn’t safe in the middle of the highway but could drop me at a small village bus stop a few kilometers ahead. I agreed.

I got down from the bus. It was the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where to go. Then I heard someone calling me. To my surprise it was the same middle-aged man who had fought for me. He had also gotten off the bus, fearing for his own safety. Seeing him gave me some confidence. At least I wasn’t alone, and he could speak the local language.

From that small bus stop, we caught a roadside bus back to Hyderabad. Since both of us urgently needed to reach Bangalore, we later went to the airport, booked a Kingfisher Airlines flight (paying three to four times the bus fare), and finally reached Bangalore safely.

To this day, I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t gotten off that bus. What would have been the reaction of those guys next morning when they couldnt find us? There was also another passenger who had argued with them but didn’t leave the bus. I still wonder what might have happened to him.

Even today, this remains one of the scariest incidents of my life.