What have been some of your life's unpleasant experiences?

[mominsaigol]

In the UK, we have a computer test (theory test) and then a practical driving test.

Driving test in Canada seems harder than the one in UK.

Yeah. More bureaucracy/red tapes in Canada.

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

 

[psyoptica]

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

Depends where in Canada. I have seen test centers run by indians who will pass anyone with atrocious driving skills. Brampton is one example.

 

[sweep_shot]

My cousin recently got married and moved to Canada.

She failed her driving test

I see.

Did she give the test in Toronto (or another major city)? It is generally harder to pass in big cities because roads are super-busy.

One strategy for passing is to give the test outside of big cities. I gave my test in a small city called Peterborough. It is easier there and I passed.

 

[mominsaigol]

Depends where in Canada. I have seen test centers run by indians who will pass anyone with atrocious driving skills. Brampton is one example.

I see.

Did she give the test in Toronto (or another major city)? It is generally harder to pass in big cities because roads are super-busy.

One strategy for passing is to give the test outside of big cities. I gave my test in a small city called Peterborough. It is easier there and I passed.

In Toronto yes. Or I assume so, her husband lived in Toronto before marriage and currently she is on a spouse visa but will eventually transition to a passport. They married recently like 5 months ago.

So I assume their still in Toronto

 

[sweep_shot]

Being broke and starving. Being dumped by someone i thought i was gonna marry.

I have come a long way.

In year 2017, I was close to personal bankruptcy. I had a student loan of $55K, credit card loan of $11.5K, car loan of $10.5K, and around $6K of other loans. I was contempleting bankruptcy.

However, I managed to clear all of my debts by 2023 by the grace of Allah (SWT). I have been debt-free since January of 2023.

I also got rejected by my high school crush. I was attracted to her for 6-8 years. At that time, I wasn't very religious. Anyway, the rejection doesn't hurt me anymore because I have become religious and she doesn't wear any hijab. I am not sure if she prays 5 times; if the lady doesn't pray, I don't want her.

Death of my grandmother and grandfather who i was deeply attached to. I fell into a depression and took me a while to recover.

I experienced this.

While I wasn't depressed like you, I felt bad and I regularly pray for my deceased paternal grandparents. Probably the only 2 relatives who I genuinely care about.

 

[LordJames]

there is a great book called Barakah effect where the main point is to attain barakah rather than aim for salary, ( of course salary is important) but basically a job can be a form of worship when approached with the right intentions and mindset. Striving to do the best for your employer will give you barakah

Podcast with the Author

 

[sweep_shot]

I want to share another unpleasant experience.

I know this one Bangladeshi auntie in Toronto. She runs an organization. She once asked for some clerical help. So, I helped.

Since then, she has been constantly asking me to do similar clerical things for her organization. LOL. Very annoying.

I asked her to give me a professional reference. She refused.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have offered to help. I ended up doing many hours of free work. She even doesn't want to give me a reference.

I don't think I will be helping another middle-aged Bangladeshi auntie again.

 

[BouncerGuy]

I want to share another unpleasant experience.

I know this one Bangladeshi auntie in Toronto. She runs an organization. She once asked for some clerical help. So, I helped.

Since then, she has been constantly asking me to do similar clerical things for her organization. LOL. Very annoying.

I asked her to give me a professional reference. She refused.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have offered to help. I ended up doing many hours of free work. She even doesn't want to give me a reference.

I don't think I will be helping another middle-aged Bangladeshi auntie again.

These freeloaders should be dealt with some anger... Pathetic stuff

 

[sweep_shot]

These freeloaders should be dealt with some anger... Pathetic stuff

Agree.

Nobody should work for free. Time is very valuable.

There has to be payment or something in return (for example, a recommendation letter or a reference).

Some people are very entitled I guess.

 

[BouncerGuy]

Agree.

Nobody should work for free. Time is very valuable.

There has to be payment or something in return (for example, a recommendation letter or a reference).

Some people are very entitled I guess.

yes... letter of recommendation is the least they can do..

 

[LordJames]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

 

[sweep_shot]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

Nice story.

It is good when people accept their mistakes and apologize.

At my last job, there was this one coworker who was rude to me. I also suspect she was gossipping and spreading fake news about me. I ended up leaving the job and I now work somewhere else. Very glad I do not have to deal with that trashy lady any more.

I try to forgive people and I forgive people 99% of the time. However, there are times when I may not forgive and I may make duas against those people. One such person who I never want to forgive is one of my uncle's wives. She has caused damage to my reputation and caused conflicts in my family and also my mother's side of family. May she receive God's punishment both in this world and next world (proportional to what she has done). No forgiveness for this wicked lady even if she apologizes now. Do the crime, do the time.

 

[sweep_shot]

Another unpleasant experience was due to Trump.

His tariff war and stupid tweets caused a crypto crash which caused me to suffer financial losses.

Can't wait for this madman to leave office so that things can return to normalcy (hopefully).

 

[psyoptica]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

 

[psyoptica]

Another unpleasant experience was due to Trump.

His tariff war and stupid tweets caused a crypto crash which caused me to suffer financial losses.

Can't wait for this madman to leave office so that things can return to normalcy (hopefully).

Oh man. Crypto investment is very risky. You should have taken that into consideration.
I trust US economy to do well and always bounce back from a crash and I invest in US index funds but Trump is making these choices very difficult. I’m having to redistribute my shares to lean on international stocks.

 

[sweep_shot]

Oh man. Crypto investment is very risky. You should have taken that into consideration.
I trust US economy to do well and always bounce back from a crash and I invest in US index funds but Trump is making these choices very difficult. I’m having to redistribute my shares to lean on international stocks.

Yeah. Cryptos are risky but some people have made money.

It was going along nicely till Trump messed it up in October. Things have gone downhill since then.

Anyway, I still hold a bit of cryptos. However, I have converted most of my crypto holdings into gold. I think gold is always the safest investment.

 

[psyoptica]

Yeah. Cryptos are risky but some people have made money.

It was going along nicely till Trump messed it up in October. Things have gone downhill since then.

Anyway, I still hold a bit of cryptos. However, I have converted most of my crypto holdings into gold. I think gold is always the safest investment.

You should have held on and waited for them to rise again.

 

[sweep_shot]

You should have held on and waited for them to rise again.

It kept on dipping. LOL. I didn't want to lose everything. So, took a loss. Hopefully gold will help me recover some of those losses. Gold's price keeps on rising.

I still hold XRP and HBAR. Didn't sell those.

From the Epstein files, I learned that Bitcoin was apparently backed by Epstein. So, I don't want to own this coin any further. I may get a bit of Ethereum again but not now.

 

[hks222]

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

Most of pak girls are cringe

 

[LordJames]

Nice story.

It is good when people accept their mistakes and apologize.

At my last job, there was this one coworker who was rude to me. I also suspect she was gossipping and spreading fake news about me. I ended up leaving the job and I now work somewhere else. Very glad I do not have to deal with that trashy lady any more.

I try to forgive people and I forgive people 99% of the time. However, there are times when I may not forgive and I may make duas against those people. One such person who I never want to forgive is one of my uncle's wives. She has caused damage to my reputation and caused conflicts in my family and also my mother's side of family. May she receive God's punishment both in this world and next world (proportional to what she has done). No forgiveness for this wicked lady even if she apologizes now. Do the crime, do the time.

Well, people can say sour grapes or whatever but when I reflect back she wasn't compatible with me but because she was the only person with Hijab I sort of gravitated towards her with hormones raging and whatnot.

Short Term:

I felt hurt, humiliated, angry and despondent. I felt like a loser and everything...

Long Term:

Allah Ta'ala saved me because it probably wouldn't have worked.

Pakistani women living in the west (also arabs) are some of the most obnoxious people. I’m about to marry someone with a Pakistani background and she’s very nice but in general, working class independent Pakistani girls have the worst attitude.

May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

Send a box of...

 

[sweep_shot]

Well, people can say sour grapes or whatever but when I reflect back she wasn't compatible with me but because she was the only person with Hijab I sort of gravitated towards her with hormones raging and whatnot.

Short Term:

I felt hurt, humiliated, angry and despondent. I felt like a loser and everything...

Long Term:

Allah Ta'ala saved me because it probably wouldn't have worked.


May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

Send a box of...

Yes.

Compatability is very important.

Religiosity and compatability.

 

[Rajdeep]

Once, I was travelling from Hyderabad to Bangalore on an overnight Volvo bus. I was a teenager back then. A few rowdy-looking guys were sitting behind me...the typical “mafia-type” appearance.

As the bus left the city and entered the darkness of the highway, I tried to recline my seat to sleep. One of them told me not to recline it because they wanted more leg space. I didn’t argue and simply obliged.

However, a middle-aged man sitting next to me seemed to feel sympathetic and started arguing with them in Kannada. Many passengers were already fed up with those men by now as they were drinking alcohol, making noise, and playing loud music. Before I could even process what was happening, the man next to me slapped one of them for not allowing me to recline my seat. A full-blown brawl broke out, and the man who defended me got beaten badly. The bus driver eventually intervened and threatened to call the police if the chaos continued. Somehow, things calmed down.

About an hour later, the bus stopped at a service station. Those men started speaking loudly on the phone, saying there are “two guys” and that their people should be ready at the Bangalore bus station in the morning to “take care of them.” One of them even patted my shoulder and said, “Tomorrow morning, be ready for an a** whipping.”

I was terrified and didn’t know what to do.

Around 1 a.m., when most passengers were asleep, I went to the driver and told him I wanted to get off. He said it wasn’t safe in the middle of the highway but could drop me at a small village bus stop a few kilometers ahead. I agreed.

I got down from the bus. It was the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where to go. Then I heard someone calling me. To my surprise it was the same middle-aged man who had fought for me. He had also gotten off the bus, fearing for his own safety. Seeing him gave me some confidence. At least I wasn’t alone, and he could speak the local language.

From that small bus stop, we caught a roadside bus back to Hyderabad. Since both of us urgently needed to reach Bangalore, we later went to the airport, booked a Kingfisher Airlines flight (paying three to four times the bus fare), and finally reached Bangalore safely.

To this day, I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t gotten off that bus. What would have been the reaction of those guys next morning when they couldnt find us? There was also another passenger who had argued with them but didn’t leave the bus. I still wonder what might have happened to him.

Even today, this remains one of the scariest incidents of my life.

 

[ElRaja]

When I was younger, I worked with a Pakistani woman I was interested in because she was a practicing Muslim and I thought she might be someone I could consider for marriage. I tried to start conversations with her a few times, probably a bit awkwardly.

At one point, she publicly humiliated and insulted me in front of the whole office, which really hurt and stayed with me for years.

Much later, after she had left the job, she contacted me to apologize, she looked up my home phone number and called at home. She was terminally ill and said the way she treated me had weighed on her conscience all that time.

I accepted the apology, but the experience left a lasting impact on me and public embarrassment and absolute anger in what she did to me.

There were plenty of women around me and I never paid attention to any of them but only considered her because she wore a Hijab.

@sweep_shot @ElRaja​

sounds like you dodged a bullet bro, if she was willing to embarras someone who was essentially complimenting her, or being nice to her, imagine how she treated those who she disliked or had a problem with. perhaps the way life turned out made her evaluate her life choices, and credit where its due that not only did she realise her mistake, but also followed through and reconciling with you.

i too was once rejected by a girl i used to work with. turns out she showed everything i messaged her to all her friends, but i never messaged her anything i would be embarassed about, if anything her friends read it and made the case to her in my favour, lol. to her credit though she rejected me in a very mature and respectful manner and never made it an issue whenever our paths crossed after.

 

[sweep_shot]

sounds like you dodged a bullet bro, if she was willing to embarras someone who was essentially complimenting her, or being nice to her, imagine how she treated those who she disliked or had a problem with. perhaps the way life turned out made her evaluate her life choices, and credit where its due that not only did she realise her mistake, but also followed through and reconciling with you.

i too was once rejected by a girl i used to work with. turns out she showed everything i messaged her to all her friends, but i never messaged her anything i would be embarassed about, if anything her friends read it and made the case to her in my favour, lol. to her credit though she rejected me in a very mature and respectful manner and never made it an issue whenever our paths crossed after.

Many females have serious attitude issues. It is because they are never held accountable. They are spoiled and entitled.

Anyway, there are also many amazing women. May we all get lovely and friendly spouses.

 

[sweep_shot]

Once, I was travelling from Hyderabad to Bangalore on an overnight Volvo bus. I was a teenager back then. A few rowdy-looking guys were sitting behind me...the typical “mafia-type” appearance.

As the bus left the city and entered the darkness of the highway, I tried to recline my seat to sleep. One of them told me not to recline it because they wanted more leg space. I didn’t argue and simply obliged.

However, a middle-aged man sitting next to me seemed to feel sympathetic and started arguing with them in Kannada. Many passengers were already fed up with those men by now as they were drinking alcohol, making noise, and playing loud music. Before I could even process what was happening, the man next to me slapped one of them for not allowing me to recline my seat. A full-blown brawl broke out, and the man who defended me got beaten badly. The bus driver eventually intervened and threatened to call the police if the chaos continued. Somehow, things calmed down.

About an hour later, the bus stopped at a service station. Those men started speaking loudly on the phone, saying there are “two guys” and that their people should be ready at the Bangalore bus station in the morning to “take care of them.” One of them even patted my shoulder and said, “Tomorrow morning, be ready for an a** whipping.”

I was terrified and didn’t know what to do.

Around 1 a.m., when most passengers were asleep, I went to the driver and told him I wanted to get off. He said it wasn’t safe in the middle of the highway but could drop me at a small village bus stop a few kilometers ahead. I agreed.

I got down from the bus. It was the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where to go. Then I heard someone calling me. To my surprise it was the same middle-aged man who had fought for me. He had also gotten off the bus, fearing for his own safety. Seeing him gave me some confidence. At least I wasn’t alone, and he could speak the local language.

From that small bus stop, we caught a roadside bus back to Hyderabad. Since both of us urgently needed to reach Bangalore, we later went to the airport, booked a Kingfisher Airlines flight (paying three to four times the bus fare), and finally reached Bangalore safely.

To this day, I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t gotten off that bus. What would have been the reaction of those guys next morning when they couldnt find us? There was also another passenger who had argued with them but didn’t leave the bus. I still wonder what might have happened to him.

Even today, this remains one of the scariest incidents of my life.

Wow!

It was a good decision to get off the bus I guess. I probably would've done the same or called cops.

Your story reminded me of one of my distant relatives. He was abducted as a child by a child abductor. He escaped from the house after getting himself free somehow.

 

[ElRaja]

Many females have serious attitude issues. It is because they are never held accountable. They are spoiled and entitled.

Anyway, there are also many amazing women. May we all get lovely and friendly spouses.

it takes two to tango in my experience, a lot of men are very insecure, the flip flop between being simps and wanabee rude boys depending on whether a women gives them attention or not.

if you have a strong sense of self respect, women will respect you too, and if they do reject you, its their choice, its your choice to choose not to engage with them further, which is the best way. too many times guys chase girls who reject them, which then builds that sense of entitlement. women rarely act entitled with men who they know will not tolerate that behaviour.

 

[finalfantasy7]

Once, I was travelling from Hyderabad to Bangalore on an overnight Volvo bus. I was a teenager back then. A few rowdy-looking guys were sitting behind me...the typical “mafia-type” appearance.

As the bus left the city and entered the darkness of the highway, I tried to recline my seat to sleep. One of them told me not to recline it because they wanted more leg space. I didn’t argue and simply obliged.

However, a middle-aged man sitting next to me seemed to feel sympathetic and started arguing with them in Kannada. Many passengers were already fed up with those men by now as they were drinking alcohol, making noise, and playing loud music. Before I could even process what was happening, the man next to me slapped one of them for not allowing me to recline my seat. A full-blown brawl broke out, and the man who defended me got beaten badly. The bus driver eventually intervened and threatened to call the police if the chaos continued. Somehow, things calmed down.

About an hour later, the bus stopped at a service station. Those men started speaking loudly on the phone, saying there are “two guys” and that their people should be ready at the Bangalore bus station in the morning to “take care of them.” One of them even patted my shoulder and said, “Tomorrow morning, be ready for an a** whipping.”

I was terrified and didn’t know what to do.

Around 1 a.m., when most passengers were asleep, I went to the driver and told him I wanted to get off. He said it wasn’t safe in the middle of the highway but could drop me at a small village bus stop a few kilometers ahead. I agreed.

I got down from the bus. It was the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where to go. Then I heard someone calling me. To my surprise it was the same middle-aged man who had fought for me. He had also gotten off the bus, fearing for his own safety. Seeing him gave me some confidence. At least I wasn’t alone, and he could speak the local language.

From that small bus stop, we caught a roadside bus back to Hyderabad. Since both of us urgently needed to reach Bangalore, we later went to the airport, booked a Kingfisher Airlines flight (paying three to four times the bus fare), and finally reached Bangalore safely.

To this day, I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t gotten off that bus. What would have been the reaction of those guys next morning when they couldnt find us? There was also another passenger who had argued with them but didn’t leave the bus. I still wonder what might have happened to him.

Even today, this remains one of the scariest incidents of my life.

honestly sounds like your a proper coward, you couldnt even stand up for yourself,

really does seem like no one likes you, your not liked in India or UK ( as you got kicked out from UK, recently) and even netizens dont like you on here.


i bet those 2 guys were just 120lbs - stick insects - the usual indian guy body shape (with a delhi belly, ofcourse) = how can you be scared of that???


you need some boxing lessons, honestly look, if the above happened to a palestinian granny, she would have taken those 2 guys on ( this would even be in israel), where the police would just shoot her dead....


yet it still haunts you = till this day, honestly you wont be able to handle the west....... any migrant kid brought up in england in any decase experiences that = in any decade, even ask @KingKhanWC @Mas-LFC = am i right?

honestly i have no respect for you, you can never be scared of any indian,

 

[LordJames]

it takes two to tango in my experience, a lot of men are very insecure, the flip flop between being simps and wanabee rude boys depending on whether a women gives them attention or not.

if you have a strong sense of self respect, women will respect you too, and if they do reject you, its their choice, its your choice to choose not to engage with them further, which is the best way. too many times guys chase girls who reject them, which then builds that sense of entitlement. women rarely act entitled with men who they know will not tolerate that behaviour.

The issue is that when men are young, they are often awkward and clumsy and women are generally more mature so I have seen a lot of young guys who are just socially awkward, its much later in life when you develop certain social skills.

 

[hks222]

Getting married

 

[BouncerGuy]

Seeing things happening right in front of my eyes, but could not find a solution to them.

 

[LordJames]

Getting married

May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

 

[Rajdeep]

Seeing things happening right in front of my eyes, but could not find a solution to them.

Is it too much stress moderating @Devadwal

 

[Rajdeep]

honestly sounds like your a proper coward, you couldnt even stand up for yourself,

really does seem like no one likes you, your not liked in India or UK ( as you got kicked out from UK, recently) and even netizens dont like you on here.


i bet those 2 guys were just 120lbs - stick insects - the usual indian guy body shape (with a delhi belly, ofcourse) = how can you be scared of that???


you need some boxing lessons, honestly look, if the above happened to a palestinian granny, she would have taken those 2 guys on ( this would even be in israel), where the police would just shoot her dead....


yet it still haunts you = till this day, honestly you wont be able to handle the west....... any migrant kid brought up in england in any decase experiences that = in any decade, even ask @KingKhanWC @Mas-LFC = am i right?

honestly i have no respect for you, you can never be scared of any indian,

Can anyone make sense of this post and translate it for me? Looks like english straight out of Bradford high school

 

[sweep_shot]

One time, I bought this unique t-shirt. The shirt had image of solar system/space in it. It became my favorite t-shirt.

Anyway, I dropped it somewhere. Couldn't wear it even for a day. Money down the drain.

 

[finalfantasy7]

Can anyone make sense of this post and translate it for me? Looks like english straight out of Bradford high school

why did it take you around 10 hrs to write that weak minded sentence, i saw the unhappy emojo around early morning today.....

when you wrote ur post at 102 = where you shivering in fear,

your embarrasing

 

[sweep_shot]

I once received poor customer service from an attitude-filled female.

Anyway, I gave them a nasty review online and store representative apologized to me.

Next time I went there, I didn't see her. Maybe she got fired or she left.

 

[hks222]

May Allah Ta'ala give you both happiness, success in this world and into the hereafter (Ameen).

We already divorced three years ago.

Apparently she married her ex a couple of years back.

 

[sweep_shot]

We already divorced three years ago.

Apparently she married her ex a couple of years back.

Looks like you dodged a bullet.

This is why I don't like the idea of marrying ladies who have ex-boyfriends. There is always this possibility she may start missing her ex and it can go downhill from there.

May Allah (SWT) give us lovely, friendly, and righteous spouses.

 

[Champ_Pal]

Most unpleasant experiences for me was to go through episodes of hypochondriasis aka health anxiety. It is something I have fought through out my life. Extremely unpleasant when a person has to live like there is an impending doom for several months.

 

[Stewie]

One time ate at this Mexican taqueria in the middle of Texas, and the aftermath did not allow me to write home about ..

cuz the hands were too busy cleaning up and such.

 

[Stewie]

Most unpleasant experiences for me was to go through episodes of hypochondriasis aka health anxiety. It is something I have fought through out my life. Extremely unpleasant when a person has to live like there is an impending doom for several months.

That does explain quite a bit of you ask me. You seem to be on edge most of the time but I hope PP is providing a good alternative medicine treatment for you.

 

[Suleiman]

Most unpleasant experiences for me was to go through episodes of hypochondriasis aka health anxiety. It is something I have fought through out my life. Extremely unpleasant when a person has to live like there is an impending doom for several months.

I know you said you’re not religious but some sort of meditative or contemplative practice can help a lot.

Easier said than done, but it allows your brain to process a lot of those rampant fears and anxieties in a safe and contained space without overrunning your life.

If you’ve already overcome it, then no need to rekindle those thoughts ofc.

All the best.

 

[Champ_Pal]

I know you said you’re not religious but some sort of meditative or contemplative practice can help a lot.

Easier said than done, but it allows your brain to process a lot of those rampant fears and anxieties in a safe and contained space without overrunning your life.

If you’ve already overcome it, then no need to rekindle those thoughts ofc.

All the best.

Thanks man for your kind words.

Religion or faith in general can only put temporary bandage to anxiety in general. The real solution is recognizing the symptoms as anxiety and nothing more.

It’s easier to say stop feeling anxious or ignore the symptoms or have faith in God etc. The real reason is a sensitized nervous system. It keeps misfiring and every little thing will appear as a life threatening condition even when doctors cleared it.

I am seeking therapy from a group started by a Palestinian American. His way of handling all kinds of anxiety and depression is amazing. I have tried many therapies before and nothing worked. Finally I am able to get into grips of identifying what I am suffering from is just anxiety. It’s a practice to stay grounded.

One thing i observed in that group is there are so many people from various backgrounds that participate in group therapies. I have seen Pakistanis, Afghanis, Asians, whites, Indians…. All suffering from similar issues. Makes us realize no matter how much animosity or trolling or hatred we have for people coming from various backgrounds for various reasons, at the core of every human, we are so much similar than what our external appearance says.

The whole world should come together to end human suffering instead of fighting over cultural and religious differences. Anyways, it’s not going to happen.

 

[Bhaijaan]

It's not in my nature to recall my sob stories. I move on as a man. Everythign i am today is because those moments shaped me to the person i have become. A resilient champion of justice and as like to call myself in my langauge - Haq Ka Sipahi.

So, i don't have a sob story to share but i share myself as a person to inspire humanity.

 

[Suleiman]

unpleasant for me is a temporary sensation, immediately after certain experiences I work on integrating the experience into my conscious mind and deriving lessons from it instead of letting it have agency over me and dictate my peace.

The only way you reclaim agency over it is when you mentally confront it, sit in it, absorb it and learn from it so it becomes a part of expanding your presence instead of subtracting from it… a lot of “woo woo” words but idk how else to describe it since this is all an experience anyway- and describing an experience is hard since it’s not something tangible or quantifiable, it’s abstract (a lot of times but not always) and open to interpretation by whoever is experiencing it.

 

[Suleiman]

Thanks man for your kind words.

Religion or faith in general can only put temporary bandage to anxiety in general. The real solution is recognizing the symptoms as anxiety and nothing more.

It’s easier to say stop feeling anxious or ignore the symptoms or have faith in God etc. The real reason is a sensitized nervous system. It keeps misfiring and every little thing will appear as a life threatening condition even when doctors cleared it.

I am seeking therapy from a group started by a Palestinian American. His way of handling all kinds of anxiety and depression is amazing. I have tried many therapies before and nothing worked. Finally I am able to get into grips of identifying what I am suffering from is just anxiety. It’s a practice to stay grounded.

One thing i observed in that group is there are so many people from various backgrounds that participate in group therapies. I have seen Pakistanis, Afghanis, Asians, whites, Indians…. All suffering from similar issues. Makes us realize no matter how much animosity or trolling or hatred we have for people coming from various backgrounds for various reasons, at the core of every human, we are so much similar than what our external appearance says.

The whole world should come together to end human suffering instead of fighting over cultural and religious differences. Anyways, it’s not going to happen.

Glad you found a healthy outlet man, hypnotherapy is something I dived very deep into learning about psychology and neuroscience years ago, as well as many other practices outside of that- funnily enough that’s how I eventually found my way back to faith.

Would love to know what grounding practice you use for this btw- if you feel comfortable sharing it ofc.

 

[JaDed]

I thought this thread was about being vulnerable why are you guys being judgmental.

 

[hks222]

Looks like you dodged a bullet.

This is why I don't like the idea of marrying ladies who have ex-boyfriends. There is always this possibility she may start missing her ex and it can go downhill from there.

May Allah (SWT) give us lovely, friendly, and righteous spouses.

I had no idea about it even when we separated. This was an arranged marriage.

Only came to know about it later.

 

[BouncerGuy]

CAN WE NOT MAKE PERSONAL REMARKS HERE...

STAY ON TOPIC

 

[TM Riddle]

Went through a pretty bad breakup. Took me around 2 years to get over. Worst phase of my life.
Screwed with my brain in ways that I don't think I would ever be able to heal properly.

 

[BouncerGuy]

CAN WE NOT MAKE PERSONAL REMARKS HERE...

STAY ON TOPIC

AGAIN

 

[Rajdeep]

I had no idea about it even when we separated. This was an arranged marriage.

Only came to know about it later.

That is sad indeed. One of my friend, who is now divorced, also had a similarish story. His wife wanted a kid but my friend was like lets wait for few more years. One day his wife came home with baby in hand saying she has done IVF. Later after divorce he found from sime friend circle that the kid was from her secretive bf and not ivf.

My friend, after divorce, rather than looking to find another homely girl and get settled down went into indiscipline path. Regular parties, nightlife, random hook ups, regular STD tests...now his life become mess. The fact that after so many years he is still single and lonely, he also got anxiety issues where he sees demons. Taking medication for anxiety etc.

I wish you all the best man. Just remember, divorce is a part and parcel of life. However, dont go into a wrong path thinking about your past etc. Maybe someone better waiting for you.

 

[DeadlyVenom]

That is sad indeed. One of my friend, who is now divorced, also had a similarish story. His wife wanted a kid but my friend was like lets wait for few more years. One day his wife came home with baby in hand saying she has done IVF. Later after divorce he found from sime friend circle that the kid was from her secretive bf and not ivf.

Bro what the heck he missed the fact that he has to give sperm donation for IVF and missed the 9 month pregnancy and just accepted a random IVF baby?

Seems a bit fishy.

 

[Rajdeep]

Bro what the heck he missed the fact that he has to give sperm donation for IVF and missed the 9 month pregnancy and just accepted a random IVF baby?

Seems a bit fishy.

Good point. But that is the story he narrated to me. One possibility could be, he and his wife were living in different countries. My frnd was in Hong Kong and his wife here in UK. Later when he moved to UK, his wife came back home with IVF baby.

Then again, I dont have a kid yet as I am still young and lack of experince in that department

 

[DeadlyVenom]

Good point. But that is the story he narrated to me. One possibility could be, he and his wife were living in different countries. My frnd was in Hong Kong and his wife here in UK. Later when he moved to UK, his wife came back home with IVF baby.

Then again, I dont have a kid yet as I am still young and lack of experince in that department

If his story is true I believe deep down he knew he was being cheated on but just tricked himself into believing it. It's sad what some men go through

 

[hks222]

That is sad indeed. One of my friend, who is now divorced, also had a similarish story. His wife wanted a kid but my friend was like lets wait for few more years. One day his wife came home with baby in hand saying she has done IVF. Later after divorce he found from sime friend circle that the kid was from her secretive bf and not ivf.

My friend, after divorce, rather than looking to find another homely girl and get settled down went into indiscipline path. Regular parties, nightlife, random hook ups, regular STD tests...now his life become mess. The fact that after so many years he is still single and lonely, he also got anxiety issues where he sees demons. Taking medication for anxiety etc.

I wish you all the best man. Just remember, divorce is a part and parcel of life. However, dont go into a wrong path thinking about your past etc. Maybe someone better waiting for you.

Mhm. Being single and alone is true - which does give you anxiety issues like I can't sleep for weeks sometimes. It becomes more of an issue on certain times of the year like lets say its ramadan - so having meals alone has a very depressing vibe itself.

Thankfully, I haven't gone astray. Like I'm still super hardworking and ambitious. But yeah I've prioritized uplifting life alot, eating/driving/wearing super posh and have casually dated alot in last couple of years.

 

[Rajdeep]

Mhm. Being single and alone is true - which does give you anxiety issues like I can't sleep for weeks sometimes. It becomes more of an issue on certain times of the year like lets say its ramadan - so having meals alone has a very depressing vibe itself.

Thankfully, I haven't gone astray. Like I'm still super hardworking and ambitious. But yeah I've prioritized uplifting life alot, eating/driving/wearing super posh and have casually dated alot in last couple of years.

All the best bro....go good.

 

[LordJames]

Mhm. Being single and alone is true - which does give you anxiety issues like I can't sleep for weeks sometimes. It becomes more of an issue on certain times of the year like lets say its ramadan - so having meals alone has a very depressing vibe itself.

Thankfully, I haven't gone astray. Like I'm still super hardworking and ambitious. But yeah I've prioritized uplifting life alot, eating/driving/wearing super posh and have casually dated alot in last couple of years.

May Allah Ta'ala unite you with someone who is a comfort for you (Ameen). Keep looking...

Most unpleasant experiences for me was to go through episodes of hypochondriasis aka health anxiety. It is something I have fought through out my life. Extremely unpleasant when a person has to live like there is an impending doom for several months.

I pray that you are granted the strength to deal with it (Ameen). Even if faith provides you temporary bandage, it is better then no bandage.

@Rajdeep I am sure you know that I am messing around you. I hope that you don't have to endure such hardship again (Ameen).