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BY NADEEM F. PARACHA ON AUGUST 18TH, 2011 | COMMENTS (102)
PTI supporter accuses Imran for his hemorrhoids
ISLAMABAD, August 16: A supporter of Imran Khan’s Pakistan Thereek-i-Insaaf (PTI) has accused Imran for the flaring up of his hemorrhoids (piles) problem. Talking to the media, Anjum Ahmed, a 22-year-old student of LUMS in Lahore, said that he has taken part in almost all protest sit-ins (dharnas) called by Khan.
“All that sitting for hours has given me a bad case of piles,” Anjum complained. He warned that if Khan continues to call these long sit-ins, very few of his supporters would be able to vote for him in the next elections because by then almost all of them would be suffering from painful hemorrhoids.
Anjum claimed that though he is now unable to sit or walk without feeling pain, he is still a PTI supporter. However, he appealed to Imran to stop urging his supporters to get off their backsides in their drawing rooms only to come out and place their backsides on pavements and streets.
He also asked PTI to distribute cushions during the sit-ins.
Responding to Mr. Anjum’s claims, PTI leader, Dr. Shireen Mazari, said that it was sad that PTI supporters like Anjum are shying away from pain.
“Revolutions require sacrifices,” she said. “I’ve been sitting for years for this moment, so much so that I have now evolved into becoming a human cushion myself,” explained Mazari, proudly adding that her leader, Imran Khan, once mistook her for being a sofa.
When some media men raised Anjum’s case with Imran, the charismatic PTI chairman sympathised with all those young PTI supporters suffering from piles but said the sit-ins will continue. He did add that he has asked a leading supporter of his, Dr. Alvi, to instruct PTI supporters to sit in a way that would avoid giving them piles. When some reporters reminded him that Dr. Alvi was actually a dentist, Imran said, “For PTI he (Alvi) is ready to give up dentistry and become a Sufi yoga instructor.”
When media men approached Dr. Alvi, they found him sitting with his eyes closed in a meditative pose. He claimed his body was 5.1 centimeters above the ground. Just as the reporters were trying to substantiate Dr. Alvi’s claims, Ms. Mazari was heard screaming at a local reporter. She accused him of attempting to assault her. The bewildered reporter was heard mumbling: “But I thought I was sitting on a sofa … I swear it was a sofa. It .. it .. just came alive!”
The reporter was later handed over to ISI offices in Abpara