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Cousin Marriages [Discussion Thread]

I don't mind cousins marrying occasionally but when it becomes the norm which it has in Pakistan, I find it disturbing. And these cousin marriages have nothing to do with Islam but the fact we still haven't moved on from the idiotic tribal mindset.
 
I have a cousin who is my grandest crush of all crushes. I am really confused whether to proceed ahead and tell her. Frankly speaking, I have never wanted to marry anyone from cousins. But I can't help with this one. I know from bottom of my heart that i want her and her alone. All other women no longer interest me.
 
xSAADx said:
I have a cousin who is my grandest crush of all crushes. I am really confused whether to proceed ahead and tell her. Frankly speaking, I have never wanted to marry anyone from cousins. But I can't help with this one. I know from bottom of my heart that i want her and her alone. All other women no longer interest me.
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If you really want her that badly, then tell her as soon as possible, before someone gets her, if she agrees then tell your parents,that I want her to be my soul mate and I can't imagine my life without her.
 
The risk is higher by 1-2% for genetic disorders if first cousins marry I don't think it is a problem if you marry your 3rd or 4th cousin.
 
Can't believe people still do this in this day and age. Highly disturbing.
 
My friend's brother in law who is only 19 is dating his first cousin, I saw them holding hands together and I asked the kid 'hey kid isn't that your cousin?' and he said 'she is my gf first then sister' I said 'astagfirullah' :moyo

Marrying your own cousin gives me shivers, how can you marry your own sister? Spread the love outside family, dear brothers :amla
 
One of the most famous muslim love stories involve the prophets pbuh first daughter Zainab and her cousin Al-aaa ibn rabee who only became a Muslim very late on

There is also the other Zainab, bint Jahsh, the prophet's pbuh cousin who he married after her divorce from Zayd bin haritha
 
chacha kashmiri said:
One of the most famous muslim love stories involve the prophets pbuh first daughter Zainab and her cousin Al-aaa ibn rabee who only became a Muslim very late on

There is also the other Zainab, bint Jahsh, the prophet's pbuh cousin who he married after her divorce from Zayd bin haritha
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chacha kashmiri said:
Other famous cousin marriages involved Mary and Joseph

And also Victoria and Albert
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Were there children disabled
 
This practice didn't exist in SL for a long time, it came in the 60s and nearly disappeared since 2000 but i still hear of cousin marriages :facepalm:.
 
Article in daily mail should be taken as warning not insult.
Medical advise is very important for well being of future generation.
 
loves_cricket said:
Article in daily mail should be taken as warning not insult.
Medical advise is very important for well being of future generation.
Click to expand...

The article in the Daily Mail was crafted to appeal to the middle aged white readership, just a glance at the foam flecked responses in the reader comments should confirm that.
 
After a life time of my folks opposing inter family marriages, my folks suggested I should consider marrying my 20 year old first cousin.
 
xSAADx said:
I have a cousin who is my grandest crush of all crushes. I am really confused whether to proceed ahead and tell her. Frankly speaking, I have never wanted to marry anyone from cousins. But I can't help with this one. I know from bottom of my heart that i want her and her alone. All other women no longer interest me.
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Both of you should have genetic test to make sure your kids will not have any health. If all come fine. go ahead.
 
Mahira Khan’s Saba is madly in love with her cousin Irtiza (Humayun Saeed). But he fails to register her hints and on a trip to the US, promptly proceeds to fall in love with another cousin, Saman (Armeena Rana Khan)
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Plot of Pakistan's newest film release

:)))
 
Well if Mahira Khan was my cousin I'd reconsider my views about cousin marriages tbf
 
I am not sure about other cultures but we just grow up like brothers and sisters. It is just impossible to even have that thought. All my cousins are kind of same as my own brothers and sisters


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
So if you do marry a cousin what are some of the things you can do to get yourself checked to see if your children will be healthy.
 
chacha kashmiri said:
Apparently the offspring of Victoria and Albert had a mutant gene for haemophilia
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Haemophilia is passed down through women. It usually skips a generation and it it only impacts the male. It kind of exist in my dads's side none of them married their cousins or relatives.
 
PetroDollars said:
So if you do marry a cousin what are some of the things you can do to get yourself checked to see if your children will be healthy.
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That is like saying "if you smoke, you will get lung cancer". While it is not 100% wrong, it is not advisable.
 
I think cousin marriages are becoming less and less common these days.. specially in the middle-upper class families..
 
Not sure whether you have seen this article.
http://www.thenews.com.pk/Todays-News-9-160665-First-cousin-marriages
First-cousin marriages by Dr A Q Khan
Random thoughts

Last year I wrote on the topic of thalassaemia, to which I received many positive reactions. Because of the importance of this disease and its relationship to first-cousin marriages, I am venturing to give some more information on the topic. Please keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor and write merely for the general public’s information.

In our society first-cousin marriages are very common. A result of this is that many genetic disorders are passed on from one generation to the next. And this causes a difficult life for the children stricken by thalassaemia as a result. At the same time, the parents go through a lot of mental agony, to say nothing of the financial consequences they must face in the form of treatment for the children. Marriages between first cousins and close family members is a largely ignored subject and one which many do not want to face or even talk about.

Though a lot of technical literature is available, as well as general information from Wikipedia and many other electronic sites, newspapers are still the cheapest and most readily available source of dissemination. Here I would like to discuss some of the articles that I have found or that have been sent to me.

1. There was a very useful and informative article in a Pakistani newspaper last year, in which the writer, Mozaffir Ali, pointed out the dangers and serious repercussions of marriages between cousins. This custom seems to be taking ever deeper roots in conservative communities and the number of children afflicted with genetic disorders has grown.

He quoted the research done by Dr M Aslam Khan of the University of Health Sciences, Lahore. This indicates that there is a more than a 50 percent higher risk of inherited disorders like thalassaemia, deafness, blindness, mental disorders, diabetes and muscular disorders in children born to first cousins. Though more common in first-cousin partners, marriages within the same community also carry a higher risk.

According to Dr Aslam Khan’s research, more than 80 percent of all parents in Pakistan are first cousins, seven percent are related by blood, about six percent belong to the same caste and only about four percent marry outsiders. In many countries, first-cousin marriages are forbidden and children of these marriages stand at 20 percent risk of having genetic problems.

Dr Aslam Khan carried out his research in Lahore, Gujranwala, Sialkot and Shaikhupura districts, in which 9,503 parents were involved. Of these, 44.1 percent were first cousins, 14.7 percent were relatives and 41.2 percent were unrelated. He found that, in the case of thalassaemia, 44 percent of the afflicted children were from first-cousin marriages. Of the 206 families interviewed in Lahore, 89 percent were first cousins. Out of the 720 children born to them, 318 were afflicted with thalassaemia. Many of those who don’t have the disease are carriers and can pass it on to their offspring.

Considering these figures, it seems imperative that a law be enacted to make pre-marriage screening of couples compulsory in order to indicate what risk they carry of passing on defective genes and what precautions they should take. To this end, Sen Abdul Haseeb Khan is working hard at getting such legislation passed by the Sindh Assembly (with the help of Dr Saghir Ahmad, the provincial minister of health) and by the National Assembly.

2. Another important article was published by Rebecca Lefort in The Daily Telegraph on Feb 12. She carried out research in the Pakistani community in the United Kingdom. She found that more than 700 children were born with genetic diseases every year to parents who were first cousins.

These children were ten times more likely to inherit disorders than the general population. These included infant mortality, birth defects, learning difficulties, blindness, hearing problems and metabolic disorders. Unfortunately, despite mounting evidence, the Pakistani community was not willing to acknowledge the risk, take preventative measures or, sometimes, even discuss the issue.

3. In response to my columns on thalassaemia, Dr Gul Rahman, chairman of the Breast and Children Cancer Institute in Peshawar, sent me an excellent article on thalassaemia, in particular on its relevance to Pakistan. He pointed out the serious dangers involved in first-cousin and intra-family marriages. I owe him an apology for not having reacted earlier to his email, which I received on June 28, 2012.

4. In an article this month, Shahid Hussain, quoting Dr Tahir S Shamsi, writes that thalassaemia is the most common genetic disorder in Pakistan and a major public-health problem. With medical advances and improving medical facilities, children with the disease live longer now than they did in the past, and more problems develop as they get older.

There are many informative and useful articles available on this subject and I believe that, if reproduced in a booklet and freely and widely distributed, public awareness on how to control thalassaemia and other genetic disorders could be greatly enhanced.

Mian Shahbaz Sharif has taken a highly commendable step for the eradication of thalassaemia by setting up a task force under Programme Coordinator Dr Muhammed Navid Tahir, under the Punjab Thalassaemia Prevention Programme (PTPP tel. 042-99238926). They offer the following free services:

a) Awareness programme; b) Extended family screening of carriers; c) Genetic counselling; d) Pre-natal screening; e) Prenatal diagnosis

Currently the PTPP is active in 16 districts in Punjab and this service will be extended to the whole of the province within three years. They currently have offices at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Lahore; Holy Family Hospital, Rawalpindi; Children’s Hospital, Multan; Victoria Hospital, Bahawalpur; DHQ Hospitals in Shaikhupura; and in Gujranwala, Faisalabad, Vehari, Khanewal, Lodhran, Muzaffargarh, Jhelum and Toba Tek Singh.

In addition to the PTPP, the following are some of the organisation active in health care and often offering free services:

a) Pakistan Thalassaemia Welfare Society, Rawalpindi (telephone: 051-5780749); b) The thalassaemia Federation of Pakistan/Kashif Iqbal Thalassaemia Centre, Karachi (telephone: 021-34981190); c) Al-Mustafa Welfare Society, Karachi, where free treatment (including blood transfusions) is available for thalassaemia patients. It is run by former federal minister Haji Hanif Tayyab.; d) The Pakistan National Heart Association (Panah), Rawalpindi (telephone: 051-9270642); e) Seyal Medical Centre, Multan (telephone: 061-4782499). Dr Abdul Rashid Seyal, the head of the centre, is a US-trained specialist who can be contacted by email at arseyal@gmail.com; f) Medical Centre, Bahria Town, Rawalpindi; g) Thanks to the activities of a large number of free medical centres run by the Memon, Chinnioti, Punjabi Saudagaran, Bohri, Ismaili and other communities, millions of poor and less well-off patients are receiving medical care all over the country.

May Allah shower His blessings on all these people for the noble work they are doing. Ameen.
 
People should be free to marry whoever they want however when you start to put children at risk of contracting illnesses or being born with disabilities etc as a direct result of the actions of the parents then it's a sad state of affairs.



London borough finds one in five child deaths caused by parents being related
Children of consanguineous couples accounted for 19 per cent of child death cases in Redbridge between 2008 and 2016, report shows
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http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...kistani-families-council-report-a7741146.html
 
Gabbar Singh said:
People should be free to marry whoever they want however when you start to put children at risk of contracting illnesses or being born with disabilities etc as a direct result of the actions of the parents then it's a sad state of affairs.





http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...kistani-families-council-report-a7741146.html
Click to expand...

True here is another shocking example

We obtained our figures through FoI requests, asking children’s hospitals to break down the number of patients they have seen with genetic disorders by ethnicity.

In Glasgow, the proportion is about 18 per cent, even though Pakistanis account for 3.8 per cent of the local population.



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...c-taboo-costs-NHS-millions.html#ixzz4hQJw8mZe
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
 
1st cousin never, 2nd maybe, 3rd+ no issue whatsoever. This idea of cousin marriage is entirely up to who is getting married....providing it's not first cousin marriage due to birth defects risks.

Me personally? I wouldn't though.
 
Some of my friends married their cousins or are planning to marry their cousins and I can't help but make fun of them :kanye:

some of them were arranged when they were 2-3 years old. Have seen some cousin marriages really turn ugly because the girl and the guy are very different people.
 
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This is a quality of life matter. Personally I wouldn't. I feel that we should move forward from marrying cousins and look to broaden our horizon. We have enough scientific evidence that there are consequences to this, and we need to educate ourselves and others of this matter.

It would be interesting to see how much cousin marriages are a result of a 'segregation of males and females'. I feel that a lot of Muslim males and females aren't as exposed to each other as other cultures. I understand this is linked to a 'lowering your gaze' aspect, but it's no surprise that people resort to first cousin marriages when choices are limited.

By segregation I mean, whether it be in school, sports clubs, social clubs, etc. Could mean more however, mostly pointing towards mitigating any social interaction between makes and females.
 
Should be outlawed in my opinion. It is not ethical and is just disgusting in general. But having studying some medicine and biology the effects this has on future generations is the main concern. Needs to be rooted out of Pakistani society.
 
Do all religions except Islam consider cousin marriages not exceptable? And has this always been the case? For example has this always been the practice amongst Jews, Hindus, Christians?
 
gazza619 said:
Do all religions except Islam consider cousin marriages not exceptable? And has this always been the case? For example has this always been the practice amongst Jews, Hindus, Christians?
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There's no law in judaism or christainity that forbids it or even discourages it, even to this christians in the middle east practice consanguineous marriages while I believe jews used to practice it in the past (Einstein married his cousin) and maybe Hasidic/Orthodox jews engage in it as well.
 
gazza619 said:
Do all religions except Islam consider cousin marriages not exceptable? And has this always been the case? For example has this always been the practice amongst Jews, Hindus, Christians?
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Why even stop at religions? Many in nations such as the US indulge in incest when they claim to be of no religion.
 
I find it disturbing that people still practice cousin marriage. What's even more disturbing is that no efforts are being made in Pakistan to educate people on the harmful effects of it. In Pakistani tv drams, they tend to censor a lot of things and ban a lot of content, but they still show cousin marriage in a normal or even positive light, that seriously needs to stop.
 
gazza619 said:
Do all religions except Islam consider cousin marriages not exceptable? And has this always been the case? For example has this always been the practice amongst Jews, Hindus, Christians?
Click to expand...

It was there among Tamil Hindus before but not anymore,with education and seeing issues with it , people have stopped.

Same Caste marriages are still there though..looks like education can't still take out discrimination.
 
First cousin marriages in my family

Me having Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning disability and my baby sister learning disability

My cousin too has Autism Spectrum Disorder and his brother is severely Autistic

So yes science has proven that first cousin marriages must be avoided at all costs though I do sympathize with the exceptional circumstances where two first cousins are madly in love
 
Savak said:
First cousin marriages in my family

Me having Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning disability and my baby sister learning disability

My cousin too has Autism Spectrum Disorder and his brother is severely Autistic

So yes science has proven that first cousin marriages must be avoided at all costs though I do sympathize with the exceptional circumstances where two first cousins are madly in love
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Totally..!!
 
They need proper sex education in Pakistan. They're doing it too much and with the wrong person. It's a taboo subject there, but if they want to control the overpopulation and disabled kids from these type of relationships then they must educate.
 
It's because of keeping wealth in the family. In cultures where marriage is done out rather than within, other issues arise.

Oh for a welfare state.
 
Savak said:
First cousin marriages in my family

Me having Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning disability and my baby sister learning disability

My cousin too has Autism Spectrum Disorder and his brother is severely Autistic

So yes science has proven that first cousin marriages must be avoided at all costs though I do sympathize with the exceptional circumstances where two first cousins are madly in love
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I know learning disabilities are due to cousin marriages but have not heard of the link of ASD and cousin marriage. The only reason associated with ASD and that vaguely is older age of the father.
 
Devilsadvokat said:
No wonder Pakistan does not prosper as it could.
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Suleiman said:
They need proper sex education in Pakistan. They're doing it too much and with the wrong person. It's a taboo subject there, but if they want to control the overpopulation and disabled kids from these type of relationships then they must educate.
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Not just in Pakistan. Cousin marriages were rampant in the UK amongst Pakistani community. Nowadays, it is phased out. The new generation of youngsters are having none of it, thankfully.
 
Salma_T said:
I know learning disabilities are due to cousin marriages but have not heard of the link of ASD and cousin marriage.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily. There are many non-cousin couples that end up with special needs kids too. Though I agree cousin marriages is a factor.

The only reason associated with ASD and that vaguely is older age of the father.
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Eh??
 
Devilsadvokat said:
It's because of keeping wealth in the family. In cultures where marriage is done out rather than within, other issues arise.

Oh for a welfare state.
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Main reason is to keep everyone happy (apart from the couple). Selfish.
 
in_cutter said:
Main reason is to keep everyone happy (apart from the couple). Selfish.
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Happy because the wealth stays in the family. And unlike cultures where you _have_ to marry out, dowry becomes important, which raises it's own issues.

Welath in. Like royal families.
 
@Incutter fathering a child after 45 increases the chances of ASD. Yes no related couples also have children with learn disabilities but there is a higher instance where generations have inter married.
 
Salma_T said:
@Incutter fathering a child after 45 increases the chances of ASD. Yes no related couples also have children with learn disabilities but there is a higher instance where generations have inter married.
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Well, I had my first son aged 21..he is severely disabled. And two other daughters that are autistic.one severe. Not sure about the age thing.
 
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in_cutter said:
Well, I had my first son aged 21..he is severely disabled. And two other daughters that are autistic.one severe. Not sure about the age thing.
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They are just theories as no one really knows what causes autism they have not been able to isolate a gene like they have so many other conditions
 
My parents are cousins, my mums siblings married their cousins too, their children and myself have no disabilities, however, 1 of my mums brother has married outside of the family, and has an autistic child. My dads brother has a daughter with cerebral palsy, and he married outside of the family too.
 
YousafTheBeast said:
My parents are cousins, my mums siblings married their cousins too, their children and myself have no disabilities, however, 1 of my mums brother has married outside of the family, and has an autistic child. My dads brother has a daughter with cerebral palsy, and he married outside of the family too.
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Anecdotal fallacy?
 
In Judaism, even Uncle was allowed to marry his niece. In fact, it is considered in the Talmud to be a meritorious match (B. Yevamot 62b).


Twins share 100% same genes. Therefore, incest between twins is the most dangerous one for the children.

Parents share 50% same genes. Also brothers and sisters share 50% same genes too. Therefore, it is the 2nd most dangerous situation for the children.

Uncle/Niece, Aunti/nephew share 25% same genes. It comes at 3rd place.

First Cousins share 12.5% same genes. It comes at 4th place.

Second cousin share 6.25% same genes. It comes at 5th place.


Therefore, the best situation is when one marries even out of the extended family.

===

Incest in the Western Countries:

People in European Countries even consider cousin marriages as incest today. But still there are incidents where brothers/sisters are found in love with each other and thus indulged in incest.

In some European countries, such incest is illegal by law. While other western countries although don't bring it under criminal case, but still discourage it and send the couple to the psychologist. And at least try to convince them even if they stay together, then not to get the children, or undergo the other medical tests.

It was difficult for me to understand why don't the Western Countries unanimously call such incest as illegal.

But after discussion with them, now I could understand their point of view better.

According to them, making incest criminal according to law will not end such love relationships, but it will only make the couple to go underground and keep loving each other in private. In this situation, it will become extremely difficult to control the child birth, or to provide the couple with psychiatrist help.

In fact, when pressure increases upon such couples, and they are in fear of getting caught, then they even tend to kill their new born babies.

Thus, instead of making it illegal and criminal, they try to take it as mental illness and try to cure it this way.

That is why cousin marriages are also not included into incest in these European countries and they still allow it.
 
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pakistani_banda said:
cousin marriages is not an issue in pakistan, and also Islam does not prohibited it.
there may be some medical complications (to the offspring) when first cousins marry, but then it is in Allah's hands. all sickness and disease comes from him. there are people that i know are quite healthy despite their parents being first cousins.
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Dam. Imagine everyone had the same perception as this guy. Human race would be extinct many a moon a go.
 
I know two uncles who both have disabaled children (unfortunately).

One married in the family and the other did not.

And their parents were not related either so it really depends in most cases.
 
It can be just bad luck too read a story re a couple whose children have inherited a condition meaning they will probably die in their teens. It's because both parents carried the recessive gene and ended up with 2 children like that so you get instances like that too. It is a lottery you could marry out family/community/race and still have a child with disability. I am a strong advocate of casting the gene pool wider and staying away from cousin marriages (distance cousins are probably ok)
 
in_cutter said:
Well, I had my first son aged 21..he is severely disabled. And two other daughters that are autistic.one severe. Not sure about the age thing.
Click to expand...
Really sorry to hear. Hope things are manageable for you and your children?
 
Keep it in the family
Only one of muhammad pbuh wife’s was his cousin

Not sure how many Pakistan players have married their cousin
Shahid afridi is one
I think rashid Latif might be another
 
I would never marry my first cousin. Probably not my second cousin either.
No one in my family has married their first cousin. Not even my grandparents.

It's not forbidden in Islam but IMO it shouldn't be encouraged. The closest to marrying my cousin I could go is if I marry my third Cousin
 
Cousins are not siblings. Nothing wrong with marrying them from a social perspective. However, first cousin marriages should be avoid because of medical reasons.
 
Mamoon said:
Cousins are not siblings. Nothing wrong with marrying them from a social perspective. However, first cousin marriages should be avoid because of medical reasons.
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I don’t think it’s that straight forward. The overall risk of having for instance disabled children are very low. And if you look at all the first couzin marriages all around the World you wont see so many issues. And of course if both spises do bear a spesific gene which could cause issues then one should perhaps avoid marrying eachother.
 
I Will give suggestions to everyone to marry their cusions
Because I am fall in love with one but I am the unluckiest one, because marrying her is almost impossible because of some society bonding.
 
[MENTION=131701]Mamoon[/MENTION]
You have the answer of every question

What is love? Which we have for that one special girl

This is irrelated question to this post, but still related to marriege.
 
IAJ said:
I don’t think it’s that straight forward. The overall risk of having for instance disabled children are very low. And if you look at all the first couzin marriages all around the World you wont see so many issues. And of course if both spises do bear a spesific gene which could cause issues then one should perhaps avoid marrying eachother.
Click to expand...

The risk is low but it exists, so it should be avoided unless it is unavoidable.
 
Afhan Ali said:
[MENTION=131701]Mamoon[/MENTION]
You have the answer of every question

What is love? Which we have for that one special girl

This is irrelated question to this post, but still related to marriege.
Click to expand...

Well I don’t. I ask more questions than I answer.

I think true love cannot be romantic. True love is what parents have for their children and vice-versa, or the love you have for your siblings.

Romantic love starts with physical attraction or because of some other attributes. It is not natural.
 
IAJ said:
I don’t think it’s that straight forward. The overall risk of having for instance disabled children are very low. And if you look at all the first couzin marriages all around the World you wont see so many issues. And of course if both spises do bear a spesific gene which could cause issues then one should perhaps avoid marrying eachother.
Click to expand...

It increases the probability , but not a sure shot thing.
 
My cousins are married to each other (And to top it all their parents were related to each other too so its like a double whammy) & their second child has severe developmental issues. Everybody avoids discussing the issue, but nonetheless the intermarriage could have been a prominent factor.
 
dildilpak said:
My cousins are married to each other (And to top it all their parents were related to each other too so its like a double whammy) & their second child has severe developmental issues. Everybody avoids discussing the issue, but nonetheless the intermarriage could have been a prominent factor.
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Similar situation to someone very close to me, second and third child have severe autism while the first has mild.

The thing is the children are very close to me but I warned him not to get married to the first cousin but he had gone for Umrah and came back a changed man and suddenly wanted to get married to whomever was available first.

Now the kids have to suffer.
 
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Avoid both first and second cousin marriages.

There are enough people in the world to have to settle for that
 
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