Rizwan as captain
Acha boys I must give you my 10 words of wisdom.
1) When you get out, act as if you're injured, that'll cover up the embrassment.
2) if you want to be in the team, follow me on twitter and tiktok.
3) when you reach a milestone like a 50 or 100, bow and pray to Allah, because chances are with my management, you won't be getting milestones anytime soon, it'll be a once in a blue moon, so remember to thank Allah for the fluke he provides.
4) If you want to bat at a certain position, follow me on twitter and go on the media and complain, you will surely get your wish.
5) Always use 3rd umpire, it doesn't matter if you think it's out or not, we must waste reviews as much as possible.
6) Always take the game deep, that way in the next world cup, we will inshallah land in a situation where we must score 500 runs and out the opposition for 10 runs.
7) Never question the Holy grail that is no 4 in odi and opening in t20, it belongs to me and me alone.
8) Always play for yourself, when you shall do so, you will get an amazing Average and an icc rank, it shall cover up the embrassment until the next icc tournament, where we get out next reality check.
9) Always smile and joke with the opposition, so that if Pakistan hates us, atleast India will love us, make sure to give them cake too.
10) Always take runs when you hit the ball to the inner fielder and do a pose when you come to the wicket, chances are you may get run out, but someone will take a picture and hire you to audition for the next mission impossible movie.