Should a woman marrying a second time after divorce be culturally acceptable?

[InziRules]

In our culture, a woman divorcing is seen as a bad thing. And any woman who divorces has a stigma attached to her.

I was wondering if remarrying after divorcing for a small reason should be seen as a good thing and what you would think about any woman who does this. Since this is the Premier Pakistani Forum, I think we can get a good approximate of how many people think remarrying after divorce for a woman is okay

 

[irfan]

what's wrong with it? if the woman wants to get married again she should. It seems to be a Pakistani or SC Muslim cultural stigma issue, many Arab women getting married again after divorce without such stigma.

 

[InziRules]

what's wrong with it? if the woman wants to get married again she should. It seems to be a Pakistani or SC Muslim cultural stigma issue, many Arab women getting married again after divorce without such stigma.

I agree with you, but society at large does not, which is why I was curious what people here thought

 

[sweep_shot]

Second marriage is fine. I don't see any issue. It is fine legally and it is also fine in Islam.

Culture is overrated.

I think second marriage is going to be more common because there are more divorces now compared to before.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

It shouldn't just be considered acceptable, it should be encouraged. Why should a woman's family life be over because her marriage didn't work out first time? I remember seeing a program about Hindu women who had to shave their heads and basically stay locked away in their homes if their husbands died. I wonder if this is a cultural hangover from those days? I don't think divorce was even recognised in Hindu culture traditionally.

 

[GoUgandaCranes]

Most of the social constructs that are followed add nothing to the life of individual and just are chains that curtail the well-being of people.

 

[troodon]

Why would this be even a question?

 

[Green Patriot]

Hell yes. Why is this even a question?

 

[in_cutter]

It’s not a big problem as it is being made out to be tbh. Majority of divorced women are openly accepted.

 

[irfan]

because there is a great deal of stigma around divorced women in Pakistani cultures; my aunt divorced and she took on this stigma unfortunately as part of her identity, she shunned & turned down a few second marriage proposals as she didn't want to further 'shame' her family. She is now in her 60s but she should've got married again and led a life she was supposed to instead of feeling her life was over in her 30s.

Conversely, as I believe it's a generational issue, I have a couple female cousins whose first marriage ended but they got married again and have thrived, it should be encouraged in all cases.

 

[pakistanisgreat]

There is nothing wrong with it. That's there right to do so.

I get your point what you trying to say. I hate that in our culture if a girl gets divorced people think so bad about that girl. That's the mentality needs to change. Of course people needs to separate if they can not get along rather than fighting all the time.

 

[pakistanisgreat]

because there is a great deal of stigma around divorced women in Pakistani cultures; my aunt divorced and she took on this stigma unfortunately as part of her identity, she shunned & turned down a few second marriage proposals as she didn't want to further 'shame' her family. She is now in her 60s but she should've got married again and led a life she was supposed to instead of feeling her life was over in her 30s.

Conversely, as I believe it's a generational issue, I have a couple female cousins whose first marriage ended but they got married again and have thrived, it should be encouraged in all cases.

agree with that. our culture and mentality needs to change. I have known few women did not get remarried because they were under the impression that if second marriage may not succeed then what would people think.

 

[Green Patriot]

It’s not a big problem as it is being made out to be tbh. Majority of divorced women are openly accepted.

Not really. It's still not accepted that widely. If women suffer abuse at the hands of their in-laws/husbands even they are told to deal with it because if they get divorced then it is harder to remarry. I personally know of someone who was potentially getting hitched through an arranged marriage and everything was fine but then the (to-be) groom's family got to know that her sister (not even her,mind you) was divorced and they backed off because they were like 'bari behen ghar nai chala saki to iska kya pata kal ko akar'.

The situation might be better than some 50-60 years ago but its still not there yet especially in middle class/lower class circles. Such a rubbish mentality though. It has no place in an educated world and isn't acceptable Islamically either. The Prophet(PBUH)'s daughters were divorced too and remarried.

The question however should be 'why isn't it acceptable', rather than 'should it be acceptable.'
And btw what is a small thing even. Who defines a 'small issue?'

 

[from_da_lost_dim3nsion]

In our culture, a woman divorcing is seen as a bad thing. And any woman who divorces has a stigma attached to her.

I was wondering if remarrying after divorcing for a small reason should be seen as a good thing and what you would think about any woman who does this. Since this is the Premier Pakistani Forum, I think we can get a good approximate of how many people think remarrying after divorce for a woman is okay

Since when did this become our culture ? . I understand that there is a stigma attached to divorcee's in our society but nothing about remarrying .

 

[ManFan]

There is 100% a stigma in Pakistani society that is purely culture based.

But ultimately, the woman has to stand up for herself if no one else will.

 

[KingKhanWC]

There is 100% a stigma in Pakistani society that is purely culture based.

But ultimately, the woman has to stand up for herself if no one else will.

I think its more vital the men get out of this nonsense of a woman not being worthy to marry again. So many poor women are living in hell with wrong un husbands who know she will not divorce due to this unjust stigma.

 

[moghul]

Unfortunately divorce is a stigma for both men and women. A person I know well, nice guy , well settled but having hard time finding a women to marry him as he is a divorcee.

But getting married after a divorce is a good thing for men and women both. Socially also it considered good thing.

 

[ManFan]

I think its more vital the men get out of this nonsense of a woman not being worthy to marry again. So many poor women are living in hell with wrong un husbands who know she will not divorce due to this unjust stigma.

Yes but their power over the women comes from the latter’s parents who have taught her it is better to suffer under one than explore a second.

 

[Salma_T]

It is cultural for sure many women suffered the stigma. It is is reducing in my family atleast where divorced women have remarried and on a few occasions to men who were marrying for the first times.

Divorce and death of partner shouldn't mean a woman should stay single for ever.

 

[Pakistanian]

Yes of course.

 

[Ashraful_Rox]

The divorce rate has gone up very high in Bangladesh, everyone is into their second marriage. I have a few friends who are divorced, they always had abusive husbands. I respect them and all are socially accepted, it's quite normal nowadays. Women in their second marriage are respected and should be respected but someone breaking another woman's marriage should be dealt with Singham Style

 

[sweep_shot]

The divorce rate has gone up very high in Bangladesh, everyone is into their second marriage. I have a few friends who are divorced, they always had abusive husbands. I respect them and all are socially accepted, it's quite normal nowadays. Women in their second marriage are respected and should be respected but someone breaking another woman's marriage should be dealt with Singham Style

Women in Bangladesh are becoming too demanding. Feminism may well be a reason.

I am sorry, brother. But, I don't think it is the issue with husbands always. Wives can be faulty too.

A lot of people who go for second marriage may marry more times after that. Some of them tend to have low tolerance levels.

 

[Ashraful_Rox]

Women in Bangladesh are becoming too demanding. Feminism may well be a reason.

I am sorry, brother. But, I don't think it is the issue with husbands always. Wives can be faulty too.

A lot of people who go for second marriage may marry more times after that. Some of them tend to have low tolerance levels.

Yeah fault lies in both parties, no argument there. Women have more power nowadays, they talk about equal rights but still wouldn't split the bill. And then people ask decent people about fixing matches

Women is the main cause of match fixing

 

[Salma_T]

Women can leave marriages as they have financial independence. That is the reason for divorce rates increasing anywhere in the world

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

This is not a problem in urban areas anymore. The stigma is gone, at least for the middle class and above population.

 

[AdamM97]

This is not a problem in urban areas anymore. The stigma is gone, at least for the middle class and above population.

Nah it’s still there to a certain extent. I’ve got relatives who live in DHA and Gulberg and a woman getting divorced is still a taboo to a lot of people who live there. I know women who are still in abusive marriages because of ’log kya kahenge’ and financial dependancy.

The stigma is slowly fading away though, which is good news.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

Nah it’s still there to a certain extent. I’ve got relatives who live in DHA and Gulberg and a woman getting divorced is still a taboo to a lot of people who live there. I know women who are still in abusive marriages because of ’log kya kahenge’ and financial dependancy.

The stigma is slowly fading away though, which is good news.

OK that's unfortunate. I live in the West and women here are financially independent so its not a really issue here for current generation. Alot of Pakistani girls here are even marrying non Muslims.

 

[desi_boy]

In our culture, a woman divorcing is seen as a bad thing. And any woman who divorces has a stigma attached to her.

I was wondering if remarrying after divorcing for a small reason should be seen as a good thing and what you would think about any woman who does this. Since this is the Premier Pakistani Forum, I think we can get a good approximate of how many people think remarrying after divorce for a woman is okay

I will not speak for other cultures or societies but Islam has given women the right to Marry after divorce given a certain amount of time has passed to see if pregnancy has occurred from dissolved marriage (AKA Idat). Therefore "cultural appropriateness" has no role in Islamic countries simply because what right does the society/culture have to stop a woman from remarrying when Allah has given women the right to do so. Anyone denying them that right should ask themselves whether or not they are Muslim. If they still have an issue then they can change their religion and do whatever they want!

 

[desi_boy]

I'd also like to add divorce is one the most disliked things by Allah, yet Allah has allowed it for ALL believing men and women. It means Marriage and divorce should not be turned into a game where you divorce and marry every 6 months or so. It should be done after careful consideration and first priority should be given to reconciliation, if that fails then there should be no shame in divorce.

 

[aloo paratha]

Yes. Obviously.

That being said though, people should be careful when marrying divorced people, whether it be a divorced man or woman. Everybody will claim that their ex was the reason for the divorce, but it could've just been them.