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The Lame Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Big Daddy
- Start date
Chasing Cars
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This one is specially for fawad_bhai 
There are two muffins sitting in a very hot oven. One muffin says "Boy, it sure is hot in here". The other one looks at it and says "Holy cow! A talking muffin!"
Made me laugh the first time I heard it
There are two muffins sitting in a very hot oven. One muffin says "Boy, it sure is hot in here". The other one looks at it and says "Holy cow! A talking muffin!"
Made me laugh the first time I heard it
Boi
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I know this is quite long but....
There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down to the bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friends huddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat.
Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So, he asked them, "What's the Purple Wombat?"
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the children exclaimed disgustedly. For the rest of the morning, they would not go near Billy, always standing far away and staring at him. Then the bus came. Billy, confused, got on the bus along with the rest of the children.
"Hey, Mister Bus Driver!" one of the chldren shouted. "Billy doesn't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
The bus driver turned around abruptly. "You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" he said in disbelief. He ordered Billy to sit in the very back of the bus, all by himself.
Eventually, they got to school, and Billy got off the bus and went to class. Class proceeded normally; the students did the Pledge of Allegiance and worked on their multiplication tables for a while. Then the teacher led them into a unit on geography. Billy was not really paying attention, but he heard the teacher mention something about the Purple Wombat.
Billy's hand shot up, and, when the teacher called on him, Billy asked, "Teacher, what's the Purple Wombat?"
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the teacher cried in alarm, "Get yourself to the principal's office right now, young man. No, no buts -- march!"
So, Billy headed down the long, dark, frightening hallway to the principal's office. He slowly opened the large, heavy door, and timidly entered the room behind it. There, at a large, imposing desk, sat the principal. The principal was a hulking man, balding, with a thin mustache. He spoke in a deep baritone voice. He was enough to frighten little boys like Billy who had been sent to his office almost to tears.
"Well, Billy," he began slowly. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Mr. Principal, I just don't know what's going on today. Everyone's been acting weird, and they're all treating me really badly. Like teacher just sent me to you and stuff."
"Now, Billy, I'm here to help you. I'm the princi-Pal, after all. Heh heh. Can you tell me why everyone's acting so strangely?"
"It's because I don't know what some stupid Purple Wombat is."
"What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is? That's it. I am calling your mother, young man. Consider yourself suspended."
The principal threw Billy out of his office and told him to go home. Billy, crying, began the long walk home. When he got there, his mother was standing in the doorway waiting for him.
"Billy!" she called, sobbing, "I was so worried about you! What happened?"
"Mom," Billy cried, "Everyone was being mean to me and I had to sit in the back of the bus all by myself and the teacher sent me to the principal's office and the principal suspended me, all because I don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
"What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" Billy's mother shrieked. "Go to your room this minute. Go! Just wait until your father gets home!"
So, Billy marched up the stairs and into his room. He collapsed on the bed, crying. After some amount of time, he heard a car pull in and some doors shutting. His father was home. He could hear his parents talking downstairs but didn't know what they were saying. Then he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and his door opened.
"Billy," his father began in that lecturing-father tone, "Your mother says you've been acting badly lately. Would you like to tell me what you've done?"
"Dad, I haven't done anything! I just don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
"You...don't know what the Purple Wombat is. Well, in that case, you can just stay in this room all night, mister. And forget about dinner!"
Billy's father slammed the door and stormed off. Billy collapsed on his bed, crying his eyes out. He spent the next several hours that way -- lying there, crying, wishing he would wake up.
Then, in the middle of the night, he heard a voice. It said: "Billy. I am the Purple Wombat, Billy."
Billy sat up with a start. He looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice, but he could not.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Find me, Billy."
It was coming from out the window. So Billy got up, put his shoes on, opened the window, and climbed out on to the roof.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat."
Billy jumped down off the roof and followed the voice down the road. He got to the edge of a wood.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Follow me, Billy."
The voice was coming from inside the wood. It was very dark and very frightening, but Billy didn't care. He had to find out what the Purple Wombat was. So, bravely, he entered the wood.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Keep going, Billy."
Billy kept going into the wood. He could hardly see anything, and he kept falling down and walking into things and hurting himself. But, he kept going, driven by a need to find this enigma that kept calling his name.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. This way, Billy."
Eventually, Billy emerged from the wood. He was on the shore of the town lake.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. I'm out here, Billy."
It was coming from out across the lake. Billy got one of the small rowboats from the dock, untied it, and rowed out. Since he was only a small boy, it was very difficult. But, he had to find out what the Purple Wombat was.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Row, Billy."
The voice was coming from across the lake. Billy doubled his effort, and the boat began to move a little faster. When he was about half way across the lake, he heard: "Billy, I am the Purple Wombat. I'm up here, Billy."
It was coming from directly above him. Billy stopped rowing and stood up to look for it. The boat tipped over, dumping him in the lake. Billy didn't know how to swim, so he drowned.
:younis
There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down to the bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friends huddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat.
Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So, he asked them, "What's the Purple Wombat?"
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the children exclaimed disgustedly. For the rest of the morning, they would not go near Billy, always standing far away and staring at him. Then the bus came. Billy, confused, got on the bus along with the rest of the children.
"Hey, Mister Bus Driver!" one of the chldren shouted. "Billy doesn't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
The bus driver turned around abruptly. "You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" he said in disbelief. He ordered Billy to sit in the very back of the bus, all by himself.
Eventually, they got to school, and Billy got off the bus and went to class. Class proceeded normally; the students did the Pledge of Allegiance and worked on their multiplication tables for a while. Then the teacher led them into a unit on geography. Billy was not really paying attention, but he heard the teacher mention something about the Purple Wombat.
Billy's hand shot up, and, when the teacher called on him, Billy asked, "Teacher, what's the Purple Wombat?"
"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the teacher cried in alarm, "Get yourself to the principal's office right now, young man. No, no buts -- march!"
So, Billy headed down the long, dark, frightening hallway to the principal's office. He slowly opened the large, heavy door, and timidly entered the room behind it. There, at a large, imposing desk, sat the principal. The principal was a hulking man, balding, with a thin mustache. He spoke in a deep baritone voice. He was enough to frighten little boys like Billy who had been sent to his office almost to tears.
"Well, Billy," he began slowly. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Mr. Principal, I just don't know what's going on today. Everyone's been acting weird, and they're all treating me really badly. Like teacher just sent me to you and stuff."
"Now, Billy, I'm here to help you. I'm the princi-Pal, after all. Heh heh. Can you tell me why everyone's acting so strangely?"
"It's because I don't know what some stupid Purple Wombat is."
"What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is? That's it. I am calling your mother, young man. Consider yourself suspended."
The principal threw Billy out of his office and told him to go home. Billy, crying, began the long walk home. When he got there, his mother was standing in the doorway waiting for him.
"Billy!" she called, sobbing, "I was so worried about you! What happened?"
"Mom," Billy cried, "Everyone was being mean to me and I had to sit in the back of the bus all by myself and the teacher sent me to the principal's office and the principal suspended me, all because I don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
"What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" Billy's mother shrieked. "Go to your room this minute. Go! Just wait until your father gets home!"
So, Billy marched up the stairs and into his room. He collapsed on the bed, crying. After some amount of time, he heard a car pull in and some doors shutting. His father was home. He could hear his parents talking downstairs but didn't know what they were saying. Then he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and his door opened.
"Billy," his father began in that lecturing-father tone, "Your mother says you've been acting badly lately. Would you like to tell me what you've done?"
"Dad, I haven't done anything! I just don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"
"You...don't know what the Purple Wombat is. Well, in that case, you can just stay in this room all night, mister. And forget about dinner!"
Billy's father slammed the door and stormed off. Billy collapsed on his bed, crying his eyes out. He spent the next several hours that way -- lying there, crying, wishing he would wake up.
Then, in the middle of the night, he heard a voice. It said: "Billy. I am the Purple Wombat, Billy."
Billy sat up with a start. He looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice, but he could not.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Find me, Billy."
It was coming from out the window. So Billy got up, put his shoes on, opened the window, and climbed out on to the roof.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat."
Billy jumped down off the roof and followed the voice down the road. He got to the edge of a wood.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Follow me, Billy."
The voice was coming from inside the wood. It was very dark and very frightening, but Billy didn't care. He had to find out what the Purple Wombat was. So, bravely, he entered the wood.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Keep going, Billy."
Billy kept going into the wood. He could hardly see anything, and he kept falling down and walking into things and hurting himself. But, he kept going, driven by a need to find this enigma that kept calling his name.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. This way, Billy."
Eventually, Billy emerged from the wood. He was on the shore of the town lake.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. I'm out here, Billy."
It was coming from out across the lake. Billy got one of the small rowboats from the dock, untied it, and rowed out. Since he was only a small boy, it was very difficult. But, he had to find out what the Purple Wombat was.
"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Row, Billy."
The voice was coming from across the lake. Billy doubled his effort, and the boat began to move a little faster. When he was about half way across the lake, he heard: "Billy, I am the Purple Wombat. I'm up here, Billy."
It was coming from directly above him. Billy stopped rowing and stood up to look for it. The boat tipped over, dumping him in the lake. Billy didn't know how to swim, so he drowned.
:younis
AZ
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that's just terrible.
Xohaib
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***
Any what is a wombat
Any what is a wombat
AZ
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What? You don't know what a Wombat is? log off immediately and go clean the garage!
Chasing Cars
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I don't know bhaiHuZi said:
What is the difference between salman butt and a fish? 
Kray_jackson7
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a man walked off the plank of a ship on got killed by sharks.
the cleaner asked the captain " why did he do that?"
the captain replied " he is suicidal"
the cleaner asked the captain " why did he do that?"
the captain replied " he is suicidal"
Wazeeri
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A man was desperate to have a son but him and his wife couldn't conceive.
After years of trying they found a doctor who had a miracle cure. The doctor told them that they will have the baby but it will not be as they wished.
The man told the doctor "I don't care I just want a baby"
So the doctor gave them the medicine and surely enough the couple had a baby and as the doctor had warned them the baby was not complete he was only a head, no arms no legs and no torso.
The man said to himself "I don't care I am going to look after him and love him like a regular kid" and he did.
Years went by and the boy turned 18. The father took the head in his arms and said boy you are 18, you can legally drink and I as your father would like to share your first drink with you.
So he takes him to the pub and orders a pint of beer. He picks up the glass and lets the boy drink. As soon as the boy takes a few sips he starts trembling violently. His eyes turn red, the head starts to sweat and suddenly a neck and a torso appear under neath him.
The dad can't believe it, Drink, Drink some more he tells his child, so the child takes a few more sips and same reaction, now he has arms.
The dad gets a few more pints and the boy drinks them all until he has a whole body.
The dad is so happy he gets up and raises him arm and asks his son to hug his dad for the first time.
The son gets up walks towards his dad but loses his balance, fumbling around all over the place the boy ends up outside the pub and as soon as he gets out a truck goes by and runs him over, killing him in the process.
The bartender looks at the dad and says
"He should have quite, while he was a head"
After years of trying they found a doctor who had a miracle cure. The doctor told them that they will have the baby but it will not be as they wished.
The man told the doctor "I don't care I just want a baby"
So the doctor gave them the medicine and surely enough the couple had a baby and as the doctor had warned them the baby was not complete he was only a head, no arms no legs and no torso.
The man said to himself "I don't care I am going to look after him and love him like a regular kid" and he did.
Years went by and the boy turned 18. The father took the head in his arms and said boy you are 18, you can legally drink and I as your father would like to share your first drink with you.
So he takes him to the pub and orders a pint of beer. He picks up the glass and lets the boy drink. As soon as the boy takes a few sips he starts trembling violently. His eyes turn red, the head starts to sweat and suddenly a neck and a torso appear under neath him.
The dad can't believe it, Drink, Drink some more he tells his child, so the child takes a few more sips and same reaction, now he has arms.
The dad gets a few more pints and the boy drinks them all until he has a whole body.
The dad is so happy he gets up and raises him arm and asks his son to hug his dad for the first time.
The son gets up walks towards his dad but loses his balance, fumbling around all over the place the boy ends up outside the pub and as soon as he gets out a truck goes by and runs him over, killing him in the process.
The bartender looks at the dad and says
"He should have quite, while he was a head"
SpiritOf1903
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one's a fisher, the other the victim ?HuZi said:
Poison
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makaveli786 said:
) This is gold
mindless slogging
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Gujar said:
) ) All the 'lame' was condensed in this one post. 
saeed-sohail
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Sardar rajinder singh joins BNP.He becomes foreign secretary when BNP get into power now he lives in ludyana.
Poison
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
Poison
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A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender realizes how silly this is, and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over and tells his wife about it, who ignores him. He begins to silently cry, knowing that his marriage is falling into shambles.
AZ
Hall of Famer
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lol, at least have a friggin' punchline.
Poison
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?
The holocaust.
The holocaust.
Poison
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Ahmed Zulfiqar said:
Anti-humour, mere dost, is the best type of humour
Kray_jackson7
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i man walks home. when he arrives they is no dinner on the table. as a result of this he divorced his wife.
Kray_jackson7
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Poison said:
) ) ) it is debateable though
Poison
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A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school.
On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday."
The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls.
The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!"
But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request.
Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son.
"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation."
The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls.
The father once again was confused, and a bit angry.
"Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!"
But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request.
Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren.
One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family."
Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls.
Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!"
And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father.
Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived.
"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!"
His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-"
And then he died.
On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday."
The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls.
The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!"
But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request.
Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son.
"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation."
The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls.
The father once again was confused, and a bit angry.
"Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!"
But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request.
Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren.
One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family."
Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls.
Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!"
And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father.
Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived.
"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!"
His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-"
And then he died.
AZ
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gripping story...I hate a sad ending though.
Poison
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Keeps you interested till the very end A man walks into a bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. Later that night, he goes home alone and reflects on the poor decisions he's made in life.
Chasing Cars
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HuZi said:a fish stinks after it's death
butt saab stinks all the time
LAME ISN't IT !!! ;;pp
Haha. Quite
Kray_jackson7
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a man crossed the road. after crosses he realised he was going the wrong way so he walked into the post office and purchased a map.
Wassixpakistani
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Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
Wassixpakistani
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"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
Wassixpakistani
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What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
JeeraBlade
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Gujar said:
sorry to hear that Gujar.
Bublu Bhuyan
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If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions:
• Where are you going?
• With whom?
• Why?
• How are you going?
• To discover what?
• Why only you?
• What do I do when you are not here?
• Can I come with you?
• When will you be back?
• Would you have dinner at home?
• What would you bring for me?
• You deliberately made this plan without me, didn't you?
• You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately...
• Answer me why?
• I want to go to my mothers house.
• I want you to drop me there.
• I don't want to come back ever!
• What do you mean, OK?
• Why aren't you stopping me?
• I don't understand what this whole discovery thing is about.
• You always do things like this.
• Last time you also did the same thing!
• Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff.
• I still don't understand what else is left to be discovered!
• Where are you going?
• With whom?
• Why?
• How are you going?
• To discover what?
• Why only you?
• What do I do when you are not here?
• Can I come with you?
• When will you be back?
• Would you have dinner at home?
• What would you bring for me?
• You deliberately made this plan without me, didn't you?
• You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately...
• Answer me why?
• I want to go to my mothers house.
• I want you to drop me there.
• I don't want to come back ever!
• What do you mean, OK?
• Why aren't you stopping me?
• I don't understand what this whole discovery thing is about.
• You always do things like this.
• Last time you also did the same thing!
• Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff.
• I still don't understand what else is left to be discovered!
Mohsin
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My grandmother''s from Peshawar...
i have a Peshwari nan!
i have a Peshwari nan!
hasanb
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Gujar said:
I reckon youve got that the wrong way round...
saj001
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Dad to Son : Beta , What kind of Girl you want to marry?
Son to Dad: Dad , Like a moon
DAd to son: Why ?
Son to Moon: Comes in the Night , goes in the morning
some people call it lame some call it funny
Son to Dad: Dad , Like a moon
DAd to son: Why ?
Son to Moon: Comes in the Night , goes in the morning
some people call it lame some call it funny
hasanb
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saj001 said:Dad to Son : Beta , What kind of Girl you want to marry?
Son to Dad: Dad , Like a moon
DAd to son: Why ?
Son to Moon: Comes in the Night , goes in the morning
some people call it lame some call it funny
lol
Chasing Cars
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Mohsin said:My grandmother''s from Peshawar...
i have a Peshwari nan!
) ) ) ) ) ) ROFLCOPTER
d0gers
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Lame joke alert:
Two sardarjis were playing chess.
A moment later two more showed up and said "Let's play doubles!"
Two sardarjis were playing chess.
A moment later two more showed up and said "Let's play doubles!"
Boi
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What happened to the 5 year old who fell off a 6 foot wall?
...He was admitted into hospital and at 4:55pm was pronounced dead due to severe head injuries.
...He was admitted into hospital and at 4:55pm was pronounced dead due to severe head injuries.
Last edited:
Boi
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DM said:
) DM was hilarious. I wish he comes back one day.
saeed-sohail
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Banta singh was watching a **** film suddenly he realized that it was his wife in the film.He switches the film off fuming with anger. He is waiting for his wife. The story takes another twist when puts the film back on with a huge smile on his face.
After watching the film he rings his best mate santa telling him the whole episode. He says to him*yaar main te preshan hi ho gya si par fair main sochya film hi hai Koi real life te nai.*
After watching the film he rings his best mate santa telling him the whole episode. He says to him*yaar main te preshan hi ho gya si par fair main sochya film hi hai Koi real life te nai.*
One woman was visibly happy sitting in a bus's front seat , the man seated next to her after observing her asked in curiosity about her reason behind the cheer . She said after 6 years of struggle and medication she is finally pregnant . The man was a farmer , so he told her that he had a similar problem with his chickens in his farm two years back . Woman said what did he do to cure them ? . Man said " I changed the cocks" . Woman Replied bluntly " I did the same thing " .
Radiance Of Australis
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Mohsin said:My grandmother''s from Peshawar...
i have a Peshwari nan!
) ) )
Rana
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this cannot be called the lame jokes thread because the jokes are hilarious!
pakmania
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Cheer up fellas !
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Pakistani Innings.
*
Where do Pakistani batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
*
When would Rana-Naveed have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
*
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Pakistani batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
*
How to increase the chances of Pakistani batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two overs to begin with, then try three and so on.
*
What is the Pakistani version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
*
What is the height of optimism ?
Inzi coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
*
Phone Call for Inzi:
Pakistan Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife :"Can I talk to Inzi, this is his wife."
Pakistan Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"
Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Pakistani Innings.
*
Where do Pakistani batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
*
When would Rana-Naveed have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
*
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Pakistani batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
*
How to increase the chances of Pakistani batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two overs to begin with, then try three and so on.
*
What is the Pakistani version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
*
What is the height of optimism ?
Inzi coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
*
Phone Call for Inzi:
Pakistan Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife :"Can I talk to Inzi, this is his wife."
Pakistan Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"
Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
Sohaib-789
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Lol some great jokes in this thread
Chasing Cars
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Why can't tennis players love?
Because love means nothing to them
Because love means nothing to them
Radiance Of Australis
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Why did Afridi eat the ball?
Because he couldnt drink it!
Because he couldnt drink it!
Chasing Cars
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ahahaha now that is truly LAMESuper Sixer said:
You win!!
) ) ) )
d0gers
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After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man. "Observe!"
And he began strikng the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied,
"but his face rings a bell."
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man. "Observe!"
And he began strikng the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied,
"but his face rings a bell."
Keith
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A teenage boy had just got his driver's license and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
Then we'll talk about the car.'
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't got your hair cut..'
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?'
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
Then we'll talk about the car.'
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't got your hair cut..'
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?'
Radiance Of Australis
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d0gers said:
) ) ok this one's really good!
PerfectionPersonified
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The WagonWheel said:
hilarious waisay Bkra doodh nai deta Bakri deti hay...lol
boom-boomx6
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why do pakistani players fix matches?
coz thats the only thing they can fix
coz thats the only thing they can fix
its.raja
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Sardar to his friend: wo jo saamne wali table par moonch wala aadmi baitha hai wo mera bohat bara dushman hai.
His friend: par udhar to 4 log baithe hain aur charon ki moonch hai.
Sardar: wo jo white shirt pehna hua hai wo wala
His friend: par white shirt to charon ne pehni hui hai
Sardar got mad, stands up, takes his gun out and shoots 3 ppl and said...... wo jo bach gaya hai wo mera bohat bara dushman hai main usko nahi choroo ga...........
His friend: par udhar to 4 log baithe hain aur charon ki moonch hai.
Sardar: wo jo white shirt pehna hua hai wo wala
His friend: par white shirt to charon ne pehni hui hai
Sardar got mad, stands up, takes his gun out and shoots 3 ppl and said...... wo jo bach gaya hai wo mera bohat bara dushman hai main usko nahi choroo ga...........
Radiance Of Australis
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Boi said:
) ) ) Hahahhaa seriously its funny imagining lol
Boi
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How many kangaroos does it take to fix a leaky water main?
None, a kangaroo has neither the intelligence nor dexterity to do any kind of plumbing work. At best it could try to locate the source of the leek by jumping around, but even then it would be hard pushed to actually do anything about it.
None, a kangaroo has neither the intelligence nor dexterity to do any kind of plumbing work. At best it could try to locate the source of the leek by jumping around, but even then it would be hard pushed to actually do anything about it.
Boi
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Three Donkeys walk into a large bar and order a pint each.
The first Donkey says, "I bet I can drink this faster than you guys,"and with that gulps down the entire bottle in six seconds flat.
The second Donkey not wishing to be outdone says, " I'll take that bet" and immediately gulps the bottle down, this time in 5 seconds.
The third Donkey sees this and asks the bar man, "Is the smoking ban effecting business much?"
"Not really, we've got the old heaters outside so we're doing alright. Things will pick up again now in May or so," says the barman.
"They will I suppose" says the third Donkey, nodding in agreement.
The first Donkey says, "I bet I can drink this faster than you guys,"and with that gulps down the entire bottle in six seconds flat.
The second Donkey not wishing to be outdone says, " I'll take that bet" and immediately gulps the bottle down, this time in 5 seconds.
The third Donkey sees this and asks the bar man, "Is the smoking ban effecting business much?"
"Not really, we've got the old heaters outside so we're doing alright. Things will pick up again now in May or so," says the barman.
"They will I suppose" says the third Donkey, nodding in agreement.
Boi
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Easa said:
) ) ) ) Some amazing ones in this thread.
A little boy goes to his
dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let
me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the
family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the
administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care
of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will
consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother,
we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and
see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes
off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night,! he
hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby
has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes
to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her,
he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks
in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the
little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the
concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good,
son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all
about.'
The little boy replies,
'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the
Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep
crap.'
dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let
me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the
family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the
administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care
of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will
consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother,
we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and
see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes
off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night,! he
hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby
has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes
to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her,
he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks
in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the
little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the
concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good,
son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all
about.'
The little boy replies,
'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the
Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep
crap.'
krunk_senior
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Name the two days in a week that starts with "T"?
Tuesday and Thursday?
No
The right answer is Today and Tomorrow
Tuesday and Thursday?
No
The right answer is Today and Tomorrow
Poison
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krunk_senior said:
Some legendary posts up there Boi
Hari Sombar
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This thread is absolutely legendary
Paradox
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sillyfan )
)
Hari Sombar
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Now this thread has gone down ...
Hari Sombar
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sillyfan said:So you are saying mine where not lame jokes but truth???
Thought i was making LAME jokes!
if you wanna talk about truth then lets talk about batting, and more importantly ... winning ...
But lets not go off topic here
krunk_senior
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Boi said:
) ) krunk_senior
Debutant
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DM said:
U have lost ur respect in front of me. I have never read worse jokes. But for some reason i still laugh at the stupidity of your jokes. I think i have lost 20 minutes of my life reading your jokes.
Here is a joke that you will love. This is how jokes are suppose to be.
One there was a Pakistani guy, an Indian guy, and a Bangladeshi guy. They were all residing in United States. They all applied for their Green card but they never heard back from the Immigration. So they all decided to write a letter to the immigration.
Pakistan wrote: - " Dear respected sir, I have applied for my green Card 3 years and 10 months ago but never received a reply from you. May you please look in to this matter"
Indian wrote: - "This is Singh Patel. I am still waiting for my green card that i applied 6 months ago. Please look in to my case"
Bangladeshi wrote: - " I am from Bangladesh and i applied for my green card 10 months ago and received no answer from you. May you please give me my Green Card."
Right after immigration received these letters they got concerned. So they looked in to these cases. After a week all 3 of them got their Green Card. All 3 of them celebrated their Green Card and then visited their families back home.
Now thats what you call a joke.
sohaibsyed
Local Club Regular
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So once a Sadar Ji was laying down on a beach and a girl walked by and said Relaxing?
He said no no My name is Ganda Singh.
He said no no My name is Ganda Singh.
sohaibsyed
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I remember the best joke about Kamran Akmal a few summers ago when he was struggling.
Commentator 1: Its about time Karan Akmal catches a bus home
Commentator 2: He will probably drop that too.
Commentator 1: Its about time Karan Akmal catches a bus home
Commentator 2: He will probably drop that too.
Poison
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krunk_senior that was a terrible attempt at anti-humor.
krunk_senior
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Poison said:
I can only try. The king will always DM.
What happened after Afridi smashed the ball?
The ball traveled at a rate of 200mph and went over the stadium hitting a motorcyclist. The ball fractured his jaw from 2 different places which resulted him loosing the balance of his bike and he ran in to a train which was traveling at a rate of 150mph. The tire of the bike got stuck in the train engine then caught on fire and the train came off the tracks. This incident killed 268 passengers. Then the riots started to happen and everyone blamed each other. The next day newspaper stated "Zardari is the new president"
Poison
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