The Lame Jokes Thread

[Keith]

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now", said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees".

The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our Admin girls has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads indicating "no".

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the Admin chick?"

A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool!!!!! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and Supervisors and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually works!!!!"

 

[ace4rmspace]

LOL Keith!

Patient: "Doctor, I have gas in my stomach"

Doctor: " Consider yourself lucky! If you had oil in your stomach, America would have invaded your ****!!"

 

[ITGuy]

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

-Roamin' Catholic.

 

[ITGuy]

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

- He got a little 'behind' in his work.

 

[ace4rmspace]

To be fair even if the gentleman had been querying the colour of his testicles, the procedure used by the nurse to verify said colour was highly dubious to say the least.

A very wise, learned and experienced man you are Mr Gujar. A visual inspection would have sufficed under normal circumstances as sight is usually the sense one uses to determine the coulor of an object. It is quite rare that an alternative sensory skill is used to determine an attribute of an object for which another sensory organ is dedicated to the perception of. Some exceptions do however prove the rule

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

A girl dialed her own number from her boyfriend's cell to see her name saved in list like Doll or sweetie.

She was shocked to see
.
....
.
.
.






hameed plumber

 

[jheenga]

A girl dialed her own number from her boyfriend's cell to see her name saved in list like Doll or sweetie.

She was shocked to see
.
....
.
.
.






hameed plumber

ok . you are making these up now . stop . tu peshavari wale vidz post kar bas .

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

ok . you are making these up now . stop . tu peshavari wale vidz post kar bas .

lol:ahmed

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

pakistani tharkis letter to his gf

I Will only stop loving you when
a mute guy tells a deaf guy
that a blind guy saw a legless guy
walk on water

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Lost your pen = no pen
No pen = no notes
No notes = no study
no study = fail
fail = no diploma
no diploma = no work
no work = no money
no money = no food
no food = you get skinny
skinny = then you get ugly
ugly = no lover
no lover = no marriage
no marriage = no children
no children = alone
alone = depression
depression = sickness
sickness = death
lesson: Don't loose your pen.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

yo, i'm hungary.
why don't you czech the fridge?
okay, i'm russian to the kitchen.
hm, maybe you'll find some turkey.
yeah, i have some, but its nasty cause its covered in a layer of greece. yuck!
yeah, i know. i think i'll just settle for a can of chile.
that sounds good, i think i'll have a canada chile as well.
denmark your name on the can.
kenya do it for me?
okay, i'm ghana do it.
thanks, i'm so tired.
iran 2 kilometers to the store today.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

massage to PP
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later saying "LOL"... Are you asking to be punched?

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Angel: What do you want??

Boy: A beautiful Girl...

Angel: If you are Muslim, I'll give you Katrina.
......If you are Hindu, I'll give you Kareena.
and If you are Christian, I'll give you Angelina.
Whats your name?

Boy: Sheikh Vinod Paul.


Angel: Give him MEERA for trying to be Over Smart

 

[Ambi]

Belive In Love !
Love Has A Great Power !
It Can "Remove" Misunderstanding..
#
Worries..
#
Doubts..
#
Fears..
#
Tears..
#
T-Shirts..
#
Jeans..
#
Pantys..
#
Underwears.. etc; etc;..!

Sardar: Main Bada Hokar Air Force Mein Jaunga..
Mother: Mujhe Kaise Pata Chalega KeYeh Mere Bete Ka Plane Hain.?
Sardar: Main Guzarte Waqt Ghar Par BOMB Fhek Dunga..!

 

[Ambi]

Wife To Husband: Aeji Sunte Ho.. Aate Waqt Condom Ka Packet Lete Aana, Khatam Ho Gaya Hain..
Naukrani: Memsaab.. Aap Ne Mere Mooh Ki Baat Chhen Li..!

 

[Ambi]

Santas father died
Woh Bahut Roya..
Fhir Uski Behan Ka Phone Aya.. Woh Fhir Roya..
Banta: Ab Kiya Huwa.?
Santa: Meri Behan Ka Baap Bhi Murr Gaya..!

 

[Gujar]

This thread is now a dead horse and UAF and Ambi are lashing it like there's no tomorrow.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

This thread is now a dead horse and UAF and Ambi are lashing it like there's no tomorrow.

me and AMBI will fight till the last drop of blood to keep this thread alive

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

 

[Gujar]

Cringe-o-meter currently going crazy.

 

[jheenga]

A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

is ko ban kar do - he is making a mess of dis thread

 

[ITGuy]

To: All Company Employees
Date: July 4th, 2011
Subject: Retirement of Aged People Early

As a result of automation, as well as a declining workload, all departments must, of necessity, take steps to reduce the work force. A "Reduction in Force" plan has been developed which appears to be the most equitable method under the circumstances.

Under the "Reduction in Force" plan, older employees will be placed on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of employees who represent the future of the department.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via early retirement will be placed into effect immediately. This program shall be known as R.A.P.E., (Retire Aged People Early).

All employees who are RAPED will be given the opportunity of seeking lesser positions within the department, provided that while they are being RAPED they request a review of their employment status before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation is called S.C.R.E.W., (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

As a further step in the program, all employees who have been RAPED and SCREWED may also apply for a final employment review. This review is to be referred to as S.H.A.F.T., (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Corporate policy dictates that employees may be RAPED once and SCREWED twice but may receive the SHAFT as many times as the department deems necessary and appropriate.

To clarify this a little further, an Aged Employee is one who has four or more years of service with the company.

Signed: The Management
cc: All Department Heads and Section Managers

 

[chaiwala]

When does chaiwala sign out of PP?








When he has to go PP.

 

[LethalSami]

^^thats Not lame dawg.................thats SWEEEEEEEET

 

[waqar_ahmad]

A girl dialed her own number from her boyfriend's cell to see her name saved in list like Doll or sweetie.

She was shocked to see
.
....
.
.
.






hameed plumber

This is such a lame joke. Yet I am laughing at this Dont know why

 

[Geordie Ahmed]

A man was awoken suddenly one morning by something flapping around his room. He realised a bird had somehow flew in through the window and bolted out of the room, in a cold sweat, slamming the door shut behind him.

Later that day the man was taking a shower when out of no where the bird flew in again through the window. The gentleman almost fell out of the shower, forgetting his towel on the hook on the door, just managing to slam the door shut again, before the bird (which was almost definitely an eagle or falcon of some sort) could cause him any physical harm.

A few hours later, after regaining his breath, the man drifted off to sleep in front of the TV. Whilst asleep he had a vision that the bird was trying to communicate a message to him. He jolted into conciousness and plucked up the courage to enter the bathroom. He opened the door to find a tiny little blue t1t sitting on the tap. As he got closer he could sense that he was receiving some sort of psychic message. As he edged closer his mum shouted up at him to come and eat roti and the bird flew out of the window.

A man was walking his dog in a tribal area of Afghanistan one day. His dog decided to relieve himself whilst the owner watched without a care in the world. They were suddenly spotted by a Taliban insurgent. Both owner and dog were killed immediately as the dog excrement landed and activated a landmine planted by the American army. The Taliban insurgent tried valiantly to save the pair but unfortunately he lacked the relevant medical training and facilities to even have any hope of salvaging life.

A man was celebrating his 21st birthday so his friends took him to the local pub. As they put in their drinks order, the barman overheard it was the birthday for one of them.

'Your drink is on the house!' he told the young man.

A few minutes later there was a huge crashing noise outside the pub. As the locals rushed out to see what had happened they saw a body lying there motionless. It was the young man whose birthday it was. He had fallen from the roof of the pub. He suffered from Aspergers so had a habit of taking things too literally.

An elderly man is driving home from visiting his son one night when he seems to get himself lost. Attempting to find the right route he joins the Motorway. As he joins, he suddenly has to dodge what seems like dozens of cars all travelling down the wrong side of the Motorway coming straight towards him, all at high speed. He pulls over and grabs his phone to report the incident to the police.

The elderly gentleman was later honoured in the local paper and given a £10,000 reward for helping bring down one of the most illegal thrill seeking gang of all time.

A man visits his doctor one day.

'Doctor doctor! I feel like a rabbit!'

'Why do you say that?'

'Well i've been having strong urges and i've been going at it non-stop with my wife for the last week!'

'Your wife has AIDS sir. She has been battling heroine addiction for the last six months and we gave her the results to her blood test two weeks ago. Unfortunately due to patient confidentiality we were unable to break the news earlier.'

A man is showering one morning and does a routine check up on himself and discovers a lump. He gets out of the shower anxiously, gets dressed and heads out to work, with the thought of the lump in the back of his head.

Later that day his family receive a phonecall from the hospital, informing them that he's been admitted to hospital in emergency. The family rushes to hospital where the doctor informs them of what's happened.

"I'm afraid it's the big C," he tells them, "It fell of the top of Currys and hit him in the head whilst he was doing his job as a road sweeper. It has been really windy lately and Currys insurance is investigating how the C became detached from the other letters."

(Not all material used in the making of this joke was original)

A man comes home one night and finds his wife in bed with another man. He then remembers that he is gay and has never had feelings for women. Furthermore due to his Attention Deficit Disorder he has forgotten that he is attempting to burgle the house. Before he can gather his thoughts he is struck over the head with a baseball bat by the irate husband and he falls in a heap on the floor.

How many short attention spanned people does it take to change a light bulb?

Generally just the one is sufficient providing there is at least one able minded individual with him to keep reminding him why he is there and to generally help keep him focussed during the course of the procedure.

A man dies one day and goes to heaven. When he gets there he is met by an angel who takes him to hell, because he used to disrespect his mum and never repent.

Little Jimmy went to school one morning, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

When he got to his history class, his teacher asked everyone to hand their homework in. Everyone handed theirs in, all except for Jimmy.

'Jimmy, where's your homework?' asked the teacher.

'Ermmm... My dog ate it,' replied Jimmy.

'Are you sure Jimmy? Did your dog really eat it?' queried the teacher further.

'Noooo! It never!' exclaimed Jimmy breaking down in tears. 'I was lying! I ate it! Ever since my dad lost his job he hasn't been able to provide for the family. I've been eating paper for the last two weeks and sharing it with my two younger sisters.'

I went to the butcher's yesterday and bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. I was arrested and given 50 lashes for gambling in an Islamic state.

Absolute legend

) ) )

 

[Ambi]

"Happy Father's Day:::
News Paper Message From: Dipu, Munni, Pappu, Payal, Guddi, Raju, Pintu, Munni, Sheela, Kapil..
From: G.B.ROAD, DELHI.
Dear DADDY,
Where Are You.? We Never Saw You ! And Mom Is Confused.. Reply Soon On099 69 36 2* 36..!

 

[Ambi]

After An Emotional Hug..
Girlfriend: If You Hug Me One More Time, I Will Be Yours ForEver..
Boyfriend: Thanks For The WARNING..!!

 

[chaiwala]

What did Peter's wife say to him after he hurt his back?


"Oh peet, you're hurt!"

 

[Ambi]

me and AMBI will fight till the last drop of blood to keep this thread alive

yeah together we can

 

[ace4rmspace]

me and AMBI will fight till the last drop of blood to keep this thread alive

How ironic ...

 

[Inzy's Aloo]

Did you hear about the sardar who accidently snorted curry powder?

He ended up in Korma

 

[Saqs]

Cringe-o-meter currently going crazy.

Haha my word it is.

Some of your anti-jokes have been brilliant I must say.

Some of these lame jokes are wayyyy too lame.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

 

[WithLoveFromCanada]

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

) oh lord!!!!!

 

[W63L35]

Two nuts were walking down the street and one of them was assaulted.

 

[Fireworks11]

Little Jimmy went to school one morning, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

When he got to his history class, his teacher asked everyone to hand their homework in. Everyone handed theirs in, all except for Jimmy.

'Jimmy, where's your homework?' asked the teacher.

'Ermmm... My dog ate it,' replied Jimmy.

'Are you sure Jimmy? Did your dog really eat it?' queried the teacher further.

'Noooo! It never!' exclaimed Jimmy breaking down in tears. 'I was lying! I ate it! Ever since my dad lost his job he hasn't been able to provide for the family. I've been eating paper for the last two weeks and sharing it with my two younger sisters.'

An airline introduced a special Package for Business men.
Buy ur Ticket get ur wife's Ticket free.

After great success' the company sent letters to all the Wives asking how was the trip.
All of them gave a same relpy:

"Which Trip?"

Meera to shopkeeper: Aapke pas calculator hai?

Shopkeeper: Casio??

Meera: Mai theek hon.. aap sunaen?

) Seriously epic stuff here.

 

[SAF]

Angel: What do you want??

Boy: A beautiful Girl...

Angel: If you are Muslim, I'll give you Katrina.
......If you are Hindu, I'll give you Kareena.
and If you are Christian, I'll give you Angelina.
Whats your name?

Boy: Sheikh Vinod Paul.


Angel: Give him MEERA for trying to be Over Smart

massage to PP
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later saying "LOL"... Are you asking to be punched?

yo, i'm hungary.
why don't you czech the fridge?
okay, i'm russian to the kitchen.
hm, maybe you'll find some turkey.
yeah, i have some, but its nasty cause its covered in a layer of greece. yuck!
yeah, i know. i think i'll just settle for a can of chile.
that sounds good, i think i'll have a canada chile as well.
denmark your name on the can.
kenya do it for me?
okay, i'm ghana do it.
thanks, i'm so tired.
iran 2 kilometers to the store today.

Lost your pen = no pen
No pen = no notes
No notes = no study
no study = fail
fail = no diploma
no diploma = no work
no work = no money
no money = no food
no food = you get skinny
skinny = then you get ugly
ugly = no lover
no lover = no marriage
no marriage = no children
no children = alone
alone = depression
depression = sickness
sickness = death
lesson: Don't loose your pen.

pakistani tharkis letter to his gf

I Will only stop loving you when
a mute guy tells a deaf guy
that a blind guy saw a legless guy
walk on water

A girl dialed her own number from her boyfriend's cell to see her name saved in list like Doll or sweetie.

She was shocked to see
.
....
.
.
.






hameed plumber

LOL Keith!

Patient: "Doctor, I have gas in my stomach"

Doctor: " Consider yourself lucky! If you had oil in your stomach, America would have invaded your ****!!"

Brilliant! ) ) The Meera one had me roflmao

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

sardar ji suffering from diabetis goes to a doctor who tells him to loose some weight by playing sports .that way his health with improve

next day sardar ji bought ps2 and started playing BRAIN LARA CRICKET 2009 for 2 hrs in the morning 2 in the afternoon and 1 hr in the evening after dinner

 

[Ambi]

One word
some one who bans you from clapping your hands ?

Answer : Taliban

 

[mastermind_quad]

Patni mobile
Pati simcard
Dono mile to
hua recharge
Beta hua to incoming
Beti hui to outgoing
Twins hue to
Bonus Talktime.
Kuch na hua to
NetWork problem.

 

[mastermind_quad]

Nurse:Apke judwaBete huye hain

Snta:Ye to hona hi tha Progrm hi aise dekhti thi
KBC2
INDIAN IDOL2
NACH BALIYE2
DHOOM2

Nurse-Acha hua delhi6 nhi dekha..!

 

[mastermind_quad]

What a married man says after years of marriage:-
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding
she doesn't Trust me & I don't Understand her.

 

[mastermind_quad]

1 LUHAR Ki BIWI KO 101 LADKIYA THI.
MEDIA WALE UNKE GHAR PAHUNCH GAYE

REPORTER : BEHEN KYA YE 101 LADKIYAN AAP KI HAI..?

AURAT : NAHI..100 SUNAR KI 1 LUHAR KI.

 

[mastermind_quad]

Microsoft Error Message

No keyboard is connected
Press F1 to continue .

..

 

[mastermind_quad]

Santa k match teacher ki death hogayi phir bhi wo har roz apne maths teacher ko phone lagata Hai
Teacher ki wife:Kitni baar kaha wo mar gaye hai,baar-2 phone Q karte ho

Santa: sun ke accha lagta hai .

 

[Pure Evil]

Jack has a dog. One day when he takes the dog out for a stroll, he accidentally steps on dog ****. What does Jack become now??
.
.
.
.
.
Think Think
.
.
.
Su-par-Man

 

[Pure Evil]

In a village there is a deaf and dumb boy. He works in a brick kiln and walks through the village square every day to reach his workplace. Along the way the kids in the village call him "Bhola" and tease him. Why do they do that??
.
.
.
.
.
.
The boys name is Bhola

P.S.: All my jokes are more awesome when converted to Hindi

 

[Abdullah22]

Kid : Mummy Mummy today on my way to school I found $10 note lying on the ground.
Mom : Did you pick it up?
Kid: No it was fake!!
Mom: How could you tell?
Kid: It was obvious. Everyone knows that $10 note doesn't have two zeros printed on it!!!

 

[Geordie Ahmed]

Rupert Murdoch walks into a bar.

The barman says,"hey Rupert,don't worry about it. We haven't got Sky either!"

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Private sch00l k bchay zoo mn :
Look da monkey iz sleeping, lets not disturb him
G0vt. school k bchay :
O vekh tera peyo sutta peya a, leya onu watta mariye

 

[Abdullah22]

Son-Camel to mama-camel:

Son: Mummy mummy why do we have humps?
Mom: It's to reserve food so that we don't starve in the desert.
Son: And why do we have such big eyelashes?
Mom: To guard our eyes from the sand of the desert.
Son: And why do we have such a sturdy mouth?
Mom: To be able to chew thorny desert plants.
Son: And why do we have such long legs?
Mom: To prevent us from sinking in the sand of the desert.
Son: So what are we doing in a Zoo then???? :shabbir

 

[SAF]

Teacher:- TAJ MAHAL Kisne Banaya Tha?

Sardar:- Ji, KARIGAR Ne

Teacher:- Mera Matlab Hai Banvayan Kisne Tha?

Sardar:- Ji, THEKEDAAR Ne..

 

[SAF]

What Is FACEBOOK ?

Its A Place Where Boy Posts
Joke, Gets No Response...
And
If Girl Posts The Same Joke,
She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments
& 60 Friends Requests

 

[SAF]

A very touching story

A little boy on his way 2 home,
he saw a cute puppy.

...he went near . .

& touched it , again touched it

and again he touched it , and again he touced it...........









































Wow! what a touching story!

 

[RX]

This thread needs Gujar or Ace4rmspace ASAP to restore its level of brilliance it once had

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Wife hint to husband for a new car....

Dear! Buy me something that goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds when I am on it...
Husband giftted her:
.
..
...
....
A "weight Machine"

 

[Fawad_Bhai]

wife hint to husband for a new car....

Dear! Buy me something that goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds when i am on it...
Husband giftted her:
.
..
...
....
A "weight machine"

) ) )

 

[Markhor]

An Englishman,an Irishman and a Scotsman walks into a bar.

The bar-keeper says ''Is this some kind of joke ?''

 

[ace4rmspace]

An Englishman,an Irishman and a Scotsman walks into a bar.

The bar-keeper says ''Is this some kind of joke ?''

Apparently not.

 

[Markhor]

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now."

Bob Monkhouse.

 

[ace4rmspace]

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now."

Bob Monkhouse.

Hahahaha!! Very well quoted Markhor Mian!

 

[Gujar]

A man walks into a bar. He later leaves on a stretcher after a heavy night of drinking results in an eight man brawl culminating in him being bottled.

 

[Gujar]

Growing up as a young man, Michael was convinced that he had magical powers. He felt that he had the ability to silence anything just by touching, if he really believed in himself. He had never confided in anyone about his supposed powers for fear of being labelled as crazy or as a freak.

Years had past since Michael had last tested his magical abilities. One night he was laying in bed when he suddenly heard a crashing noise at his front door followed by what sounded like a stampede. Michael got up from his bed and opened his bedroom door. He was wrestled to the ground by what seemed like half a dozen men.

Michael was later sentenced to life imprisonment after a huge investigation by the Metropolitan police linked eight murders, dating back nearly twenty years prior, to Michael, all by asphyxiation. Michael's fingerprints were found on the necks and mouths of all the victims.

 

[Gujar]

An Englishman, an Irishman, a South African and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar. 'Drinks are on the house boys', the barman tells them, 'Well done for beating India'.

 

[Saqs]

Gujar with the heat!

Nice additions.

 

[violet_may]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because all of you were telling lame jokes on his side of the road.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

In a park sardar & his lover eatng chips by lookng each others eyes
Girl: Dear What r u thinking at this moment?

Sardar:"ur eatng more chips than me".

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes to china to find meaning of his friends last words.
It is "You are standing on the oxygen tube"

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

Teacher: What do u wish to do in future?

Tom: I want to be a Doctor...

Paul: I want to be a Lawyer..
...
Sarah: I want to be a Mother...

John: I just want to help Sarah to be a
"Mother

 

[Gujar]

Oh I get it, John wants to be a midwife.

 

[UmarAkmals-fan]

A Man Received D Phone
From Emergency Room Of Hospital

Doctor: Your Wife Was In A Fatal Car
Accident & I've Bad N Good News.
The Bad News Is,
She Has Lost Both Arms N Legs N
Will B On A Respirator D Rest Of Her Life.

Man: 0h My God, Whats The Good
News?

Doctor: I'm Kidding, She Is Dead

 

[Poison]

I lol'd at Santa's wife joke

 

[ace4rmspace]

Oh I get it, John wants to be a midwife.

Makes sense.

 

[ace4rmspace]

There were two white Christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed in a desert. Luckily, they survived unharmed. As they travelled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly saw a mosque ahead. "Muslims? They might help us if we say we are Muslim" said Adam. Jack replied "No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm going to be honest".

So, thirsty and starved, they walked to the mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab. Upon enquiring, Jack said "My name is Jack". Adam quickly thought of a Muslim name and said "My name is Muhammad".

The Arab man said "Hello Jack" and directed some men to take Jack and give him some food and drink. The Arab then turned to Adam and said "Hello Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak!"

 

[Gujar]

What did Shaggy say when he was arrested by the police for rioting?

At first he denied it, but after being shown CCTV footage he accepted all charges and pleaded guilty. He later added that it was the decline in his music career that had driven him to the wrong path.

 

[Namak_Halaal]

India - slow starters!

)

 

[USIND]

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes to china to find meaning of his friends last words.
It is "You are standing on the oxygen tube"

Meera to shopkeeper: Aapke pas calculator hai?

Shopkeeper: Casio??

Meera: Mai theek hon.. aap sunaen?

)...Lol...too good.

I went to the butcher's yesterday and the butcher shop was closed so i came

)..Lol..I have no clue,why this one is making me laugh so much.)

 

[ace4rmspace]

So I asked my Welsh Mate how many female partners he's had over the years.

He started counting and fell asleep.