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What type of marriage is most likely to succeed?

What type of marriage is most likely to succeed?

  • Total voters
    24
MenInG

MenInG

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Our elders and parents (some) would say an arranged marriage is most likely to succeed but we all know that its not always true; Younger generation are more likely to find their own partners but does that mean longer marriages?
 
The marriage that is meant to succeed. An arranged marriage or a love marriage will not succeed if it is not meant to be.
 
I am a firm believer that opposites attract. Doesn't matter how you meet your spouse (which the options elude to), the main thing is that you have something in common, and uncommon.
 
i believe that arrange marriages have more success than love marriages. I have witness more than 6 love marriages ended up in divorce in last 2 years.
 
Depends on what your definition of a successful or failed marriage is. If a successful marriage is just not getting divorced then obviously arranged marriages win on that regard. But if it is how loving the couple are and how much they enjoy being with each other, then Im not sure.

pakistanisgreat said:
i believe that arrange marriages have more success than love marriages. I have witness more than 6 love marriages ended up in divorce in last 2 years.
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People who couldn't take the decision to find who they can marry certainly do not have the courage to end that marriage.
 
Love marriage because you can never get that connection with an arranged marriage. An arranged marriage may last longer cause of practical reasons/familial pressure however it can never give you the high of a marrying someone of your own choice.
 
Slog said:
Depends on what your definition of a successful or failed marriage is. If a successful marriage is just not getting divorced then obviously arranged marriages win on that regard. But if it is how loving the couple are and how much they enjoy being with each other, then Im not sure.



People who couldn't take the decision to find who they can marry certainly do not have the courage to end that marriage.
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not necessarily, i have seen many people married twice both as a arrange marriage and one guy married three time (all arrange). on top of that i meet few people who did love marriage then latter did arrange marriage, living with both wives.
 
The marriages within extended families are the toughest to bear. The only ones which are successful are the ones where the husband and wife go their own way after the marriage rather than staying with the boys family. Of course this mainly applies to non arranged marriages
 
Down2Earth said:
The marriages within extended families are the toughest to bear. The only ones which are successful are the ones where the husband and wife go their own way after the marriage rather than staying with the boys family. Of course this mainly applies to non arranged marriages
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Not really my brother had an arranged marriage, mum made him rent a house before his marriage so they can live separate ways
 
Depends on the individuals.

I know of happily married couples who never said a word to each other until their wedding day.

But I also know of couples who were arranged and had horrific marriages.
 
You can have love marriage or arrange marriage but the main thing is to uphold it.
 
miandadrules said:
Depends on the individuals.

I know of happily married couples who never said a word to each other until their wedding day.

But I also know of couples who were arranged and had horrific marriages.
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Agreed to this. It doesn't matter it is loved or arranged. It will depend upon both the individual.
 
A marriage works better if:
- the inlaws dont put in their nose too often
- If the spouses expectations are reasonable of the other
- If spouses learn to sacrifice for the other
 
imrankhannsu said:
A marriage works better if:
- the inlaws dont put in their nose too often
- If the spouses expectations are reasonable of the other
- If spouses learn to sacrifice for the other
Click to expand...

Just to add to your excellent points:
-constant compromise towards all the internal/externals factors which can't be or hard to change.

To OP: I voted arranged marriage. Because your parents and the other party's parents or matchmakers know you and with their good will and wisdom make the rishta. Compatibility is the key aspect.
 
imrankhannsu said:
A marriage works better if:
- the inlaws dont put in their nose too often
- If the spouses expectations are reasonable of the other
- If spouses learn to sacrifice for the other
Click to expand...

I agree with the last 2 points, as far as the first point is concerned, sometimes it is a necessary evil. For e.g. if the son in law is emotionally abusing and constantly misbehaving and belittling the wife and sending her into deep depression and lack of confidence then you bet the inlaws have the right to interfere to put things straight.
 
Lol at all the marriage experts or wanna be marriage experts. Why can't someone just be honest and admit there is no magic formula for marital success and it all depends on what is preordained from the highest power above?
 
It all depends on how much a pair is scared of getting a divorce when things take the wrong turn.

Love Marriage - The couple have to take all the blame as they knew each other very well before wedding.
Arranged - Elders from both parties who fixed the wedding have to take the blame.

Basically it depends on case by case basis and how open the society is towards getting a divorce.
 
troodon said:
It all depends on how much a pair is scared of getting a divorce when things take the wrong turn.

Love Marriage - The couple have to take all the blame as they knew each other very well before wedding.
Arranged - Elders from both parties who fixed the wedding have to take the blame.

Basically it depends on case by case basis and how open the society is towards getting a divorce.
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So, are most marriages destined to end in divorce?

A very nihilistic but somewhat valid point of view :yk
 
WhenSultansBowled said:
So, are most marriages destined to end in divorce?

A very nihilistic but somewhat valid point of view :yk
Click to expand...

Yes. Most couple will have incidents in their life where they feel enough is enough. But they do not dare to take the ultimate step for the fear of society, religion, culture etc.

Usually one of the wife or husband calm down and say sorry(whether it is their mistake or not). In the West, they do not do that. They get a divorce quickly.
 
Best marriage is surely where everyone agree's. Other then the couple the consent of parents is also essential. I always feel the blessing of parents and loved ones is required.
 
Wonder if the people who answered arranged marriage are ones who are already married (had arranged marriages!)
 
now a days couple talk to each other on phone before even getting married. they get to know each other very well. so its kind of love marriage as well even though parents do everything.
 
My nani used to say “ Shaadi ka naam hai Samjhota”. So basically two individuals that are ready to compromise , their marriages are successful.
 
i would say none, but then again im not married so what do i know

i have seen alot of people cheat with their partner. Doesnt matter if your male or female, arranged marraige or love marriage. Eventually one of them decides to look for love somewhere else, probably because love dies down or maybe one of them has too much lust.

Alot of divorces happens because of one cheating on the other, but they never tell this to anyone
 
Savak said:
Lol at all the marriage experts or wanna be marriage experts. Why can't someone just be honest and admit there is no magic formula for marital success and it all depends on what is preordained from the highest power above?
Click to expand...

you mean soulmates?

I dont think thats really a thing, tried to research on it from an islamic point of view. THere isn't any concept of two people being destined to be marreid together
 
Savak said:
Lol at all the marriage experts or wanna be marriage experts. Why can't someone just be honest and admit there is no magic formula for marital success and it all depends on what is preordained from the highest power above?
Click to expand...

Could I enquire who "preordains" the successful marriages amongst atheists? Atheists like me & my wife, my sister & her husband, my brother & his wife, my father & mother, my father-in-law & mother-in-law as well as 2 of my wife's grandparents. Those are the ones I am sure about. There may have been more atheists in my extended family that I don't know about.

Returning to the original point - ALL of the above were "love" matches which appear to have been happy and continue to be so amongst the participants who are still alive.
 
Savak said:
Lol at all the marriage experts or wanna be marriage experts. Why can't someone just be honest and admit there is no magic formula for marital success and it all depends on what is preordained from the highest power above?
Click to expand...

Khud ki shaadi ko do din nahi hue hai aur janaab khud shaadi expert ban gaye hai. :srt
 
It really depends. Many love marriages survive for long just like many arranged marriages do.

Question is, which marriage has more blessing? Answer is probably arranged marriage.
 
Simple answer - a marriage will work if the couple is mature enough to make it work on their own without anybody’s interference. Doesn’t really matter whether it is an arranged or a love marriage.
 
Last edited:
MenInG said:
Would you have done it different if given more options as today's youngsters have?
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honestly speaking i had the option to pick for myself. but decide not to go that route. I let parents/elder to decide because of their experience.
 
pakistanisgreat said:
honestly speaking i had the option to pick for myself. but decide not to go that route. I let parents/elder to decide because of their experience.
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Any regrets? Would you advise same for your children?
 
MenInG said:
Any regrets? Would you advise same for your children?
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no regrets. I am glad i made that decision.
Yes i will give my kids the same options that i was given. if you like/love someone let us know we will speak to his/her parents.
 
pakistanisgreat said:
no regrets. I am glad i made that decision.
Yes i will give my kids the same options that i was given. if you like/love someone let us know we will speak to his/her parents.
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Very noble! In a sense, kids finding their own life partners takes a big burden off the heads of parents so maybe for our generation its a blessing in disguise.
 
Nowadays, no type of marriage is successful.

so many divorces nowadays, from both arranged and love marriages
 
Marriages where you have tolerance/patience,understanding and compromise will survive. It could be arrange, love or whatever.
 
Mark Twain’s quote on marriage really captures its reality.

Most people get married and have kids for the wrong reason (it’s exactly what you are thinking it is).
 
In Pakistan if you are living in remote areas,arrange marriage is most likely to succeed. In bigger cities Love marriage.
In west its all about money, if you have money, marriage is most likely to succeed otherwise DEJAWO
 
Ryw said:
In Pakistan if you are living in remote areas,arrange marriage is most likely to succeed. In bigger cities Love marriage.
In west its all about money, if you have money, marriage is most likely to succeed otherwise DEJAWO
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In the West marriage seems to be an outdated institution!
 
MenInG said:
In the West marriage seems to be an outdated institution!
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No marriage is still looked upon as the ultimate goal in a relationship, people are taking thier time for sure but not a lot of people will say hey we are living together but in the end I don't wanna marry you and I am certain the institution of marriage will never end any where in the world but the laws are just making it harder (like what happened to Bezos) governments are making it harder to get married but the people anywhere in the world would want to marry cause that just makes the relationship legit.
 
I think any type of marriage can work.

It is all down to the couples though. You have to be firm on not letting others interfere in your matters/decisions, both must be willing to compromise and adjust to each other.
 
So many divorces nowadays, i am scared. I don't want to get married. Also Bangladeshi girls play a lot of mental games, they are like match fixers :butt
 
Time for another look at this question.
 
Ashraful_Rox said:
So many divorces nowadays, i am scared. I don't want to get married. Also Bangladeshi girls play a lot of mental games, they are like match fixers :butt
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Divorces are inevitable, it will continue to rise because society as a whole is against the institution of marriage
 
half of my friends are divorced, its just too easy now. a few even lost chunky bits of their estates. seems like a massive gamble these days.
 
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