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The complexity of getting married

Any updates? Waiting with bated breath.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
See the sequence below.

Take out everything in red and you should be fine. :yk

"Hi, its um Mamoon. XYZ's son.

Okay listen, this is extremely awkward for me and please don't ask me how I got your number. I wanted to contact you for long and I couldn't develop the guts. Many times I have wanted to talk to you face to face but I always end up feeling shy :D

I started thinking about you when you came over to my house in February 2010, when we had a barbecue when my uncle came over from England. I started to stalk you on Facebook for a brief period before your profile simply vanished. Deactivated I think? Well so have I so it doesn't matter. These days I read your Twitter feed on almost daily basis. :D

I think you are beautiful and I like your family as well. If I had it my way, I would marry you.

Okay so please listen, I know this very strange and awkward but I had to get this message across you so that I don't regret it in the future. Please don't tell anyone. If you do it will be extremely embarrassing for me. This text might make you feel I am perverted or something but I swear on God if you don't reply or say no I won't bother you ever again. I won't make you feel uncomfortable the next time we see each other or something.

After all, we are cousins and share one family. If you tell someone etc how will I face everyone? Just keep it to yourself. I am blushing writing this all :P

Anyways, take care. Bye.


:nehra

Four smileys in his love message?

Then she would think Ashish Nehra sent her the message and say no.

At this point, Ashish Nehra has a better shot.
 
Mamoon bhai dials the sacred number, and.......

"Aapke matlooba number ka iss dunya mey´n koi wujood hee nahi´n hai. Aapko kisi ney yaqeenan bevakoof banaya hai. Dobara milaaney ki zehmat na kijiyega. Shukriya."
 
Mamoon bhai dials the sacred number, and.......

"Aapke matlooba number ka iss dunya mey´n koi wujood hee nahi´n hai. Aapko kisi ney yaqeenan bevakoof banaya hai. Dobara milaaney ki zehmat na kijiyega. Shukriya."

:)))

Its genuine. :waqar
 
Any progress Mamoon?

@SIF: She travels alone but is always reading a book and somehow I find it incredibly rude to initiate a conversation when somebody is so involved in something even more so on a packed train back home. Admiring her beauty from afar is all I can do at the moment.
 
Nah, you're worse.. At least that man had the guts to talk to girls! :uakmal



Come, now.. Nothing has happened as yet, and you're,concerned about her expressing herself

So do I, I haven even been on a date.:ahmed

Just can't talk to this one. :msd
 
Any progress Mamoon?

@SIF: She travels alone but is always reading a book and somehow I find it incredibly rude to initiate a conversation when somebody is so involved in something even more so on a packed train back home. Admiring her beauty from afar is all I can do at the moment.

No. :iqasim
 
At this point, Ashish Nehra has a better shot.

Usama response is at Tyson levels

tumblr_mj7ewkGkSJ1qapjp8o1_400.gif
 
one a side note, what would happen if she suddenly got married to some1 else?
 
She's 19. Won't get married suddenly.

If she gets engaged to someone, I would have no choice but to accept it.
 
:yk2:yk2 Lol ownage by Poison and Usama.

Maybe honourable retreat is best option Mamoon. Nothing wrong with being a person of solitude...
 
Any progress Mamoon?

@SIF: She travels alone but is always reading a book and somehow I find it incredibly rude to initiate a conversation when somebody is so involved in something even more so on a packed train back home. Admiring her beauty from afar is all I can do at the moment.

Actually that's not bad.

Travelling alone is waaaaaaaay better than surrounded by her friends.

But before I say anything, I have to mention this. Approaching a girl and striking up a conversation and getting her phone number on the spot is not an easy task. Even guys who are amazing with girls don't prefer it too much. Some like it but most feel more comfortable making use of the natural circumstances where they get in contact with girls. But your case is different. Since she is going to travel the same route no matter what, you don't have to do everything in one go.

Here's what I would ask you to do:

First of all, try to have an eye contact with her (as and when possible). Just have a simple smile. We humans always respond with the same expression that we are are greeted with. Meaning if someone smiles at us, we would smile back. If they scowl, we would scowl too. So if you can, do try to have an eye contact and smile. Don't be shy. Most (overwhelming majority of) girls will be absolutely ok with it unless you give her some creepy weirdo sexual expression :)).

Do it and she will smile back.

(Side note: In fact, if you do nothing but just THIS whenever you commute with her, even that would build up a certain base level of rapport and comfort level.)

Next be in a position where you can naturally go up to her and have a quick word. This situation has a ready made conversation starter: Go up to her, smile and say "hi" (she will smile back and say hi) and then you say something like:

"I watch you commute in this train/bus daily and I see you reading a book 24/7. I travel to my college/work daily via the same route too. So where exactly are you going?"

Something like that. Basically its all about delivery and how comfortable you are when you approach her. If I were you, I would stress the words "reading a book 24/7" in a teasing way (while smiling) when I ask that genuine question. Now as you can see, this isn't some intelligent pickup line. You are not trying any tactics here. You are just asking a normal question. And as far as I know, most girls would happily reply back.

And when she does, just have a normal conversation and move from there. Next time when you see her, be comfortable and talk to her. Don't go into a shell again and act as if you have never talked to her the previous day. Of course, it goes without saying, gauge her and give her a space if she needs it.

If in case you are not able to get into eye contact with her and you have to approach her, use the same approach as above but use some reason for approaching her (maybe you can go for the "I am just very curious" angle). You take a call.

If I were to tell you one thing, its this: Forget about the outcome. Just go and talk to her with the mindset that you are GOING to have fun. The moment we don't give a damn about the outcome, everything changes.

If she replies back properly, GREAT.

If she replies back rudely or sarcastically, GREAT.

If things work out, GREAT.

If things flop big time, GREAT.

Just go and try to have a good time. Worst case, you would have a GREAT experience and a GREAT story to tell the next female you meet.
 
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She makes too many bold tweets. Its a bit uncomfortable.

'Her' tweets are always very decent, full of religious teachings or quotes from philosophers etc. One day however she tweeted some 15 to 20 sub-tweets about me which frustrated a couple of guys:)) who picked up a fight with her as they were like, "Who the hell is this anonymous guy?" It continued to the point where she swore at one of them in a tweet. I wasn´t present though and it all happened in my absence.

Next day, without being judgmental or without any sense of authority, I politely told her that any tweet containing a vulgar, abusive, sexual etc. term from her doesn´t look good from a girl most decent. She deleted them all and won a "Good girl" response which delighted her. This led to more familiarity between us.

When she first asked me my age, 45 I said, plus two kids:msd. The first secret that I shared with her was that I have lice in head:msd - which I don´t by the way.

I don't know why but i always read your posts as poems :yk

Does this background music play in your mind whilst reading my posts?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1bc9yr1SSua

In my mind it does, at least!
 
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'Her' tweets are always very decent, full of religious teachings or quotes from philosophers etc. One day however she tweeted some 15 to 20 sub-tweets about me which frustrated a couple of guys:)) who picked up a fight with her as they were like, "Who the hell is this anonymous guy?" It continued to the point where she swore at one of them in a tweet. I wasn´t present though and it all happened in my absence.

Next day, without being judgmental or without any sense of authority, I politely told her that any tweet containing a vulgar, abusive, sexual etc. term from her doesn´t look good from a girl most decent. She deleted them all and won a "Good girl" response which delighted her. This led to more familiarity between us.

When she first asked me my age, 45 I said, plus two kids:msd. The first secret that I shared with her was that I have lice in head:msd - which I don´t by the way.


Does this background music play in your mind whilst reading my posts?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1bc9yr1SSua

In my mind it does, at least!

Dhoni-bhai, I made the mistake of putting up that music before reading that above post..

I'm scarred - I will see Twitter, young kids and lice whenever someone puts up sattaar music.. or some 90s SRK movie! :eek:
 
She makes too many bold tweets. Its a bit uncomfortable.

Well, that might not be so bad. If she's confident, she might end up asking you out.

Excellent way of describing her, BTW. :P Mila Kunis with a hairy face.
 
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Dhoni-bhai, I made the mistake of putting up that music before reading that above post..

I'm scarred - I will see Twitter, young kids and lice whenever someone puts up sattaar music.. or some 90s SRK movie! :eek:

Using all of the above, I can help you come up with a scenario to think of: my two kids, my wife and myself in a room. The kids are playing the sattaar, my wife is watching 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' on TV, I am tweeting from my cell phone using one hand as with the other I am scratching my head every now and then. Perfect imagination!
 
Well, that might not be so bad. If she's confident, she might end up asking you out.

Excellent way of describing her, BTW. :P Mila Kunis with a hairy face.

:)))

Using all of the above, I can help you come up with a scenario to think of: my two kids, my wife and myself in a room. The kids are playing the sattaar, my wife is watching 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' on TV, I am tweeting from my cell phone using one hand as with the other I am scratching my head every now and then. Perfect imagination!

:junaid:junaid:junaid:junaid:junaid

I just thought one smiley wasn't enough for this ....... :uakmal
 
I should have specified.

Her eyes are like a Persian cat's. :heart:
 
:))) :)))) :))) :)))

This post is likely to be deleted. I caught the subtle inappropriate hints. :yk2
 
This is it.

I have decided to send her the text on 3rd May, at 2 am.

Haters can continue to hate. Just deal with it if you can. :ponting
 
This is it.

I have decided to send her the text on 3rd May, at 2 am.

Haters can continue to hate. Just deal with it if you can. :ponting

Saturday night? Good choice. The prospect of two days off from school puts most people in a better mood than usual.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
I have got a good hunch about that text. I believe its charismatic nature will sway her in my favor. At the end of the day she's a teenage girl and shouldn't be too difficult to flatter. :kapil
 
I have got a good hunch about that text. I believe its charismatic nature will sway her in my favor. At the end of the day she's a teenage girl and shouldn't be too difficult to flatter. :kapil

What if she passes on the text to her dad?

The only thing you will be able to flatter is the nurse at the local hospital as she rubs ointment on your battered body...

Wait that doesn't sound too bad.

Go for it.
 
Our Dad's are best friends. He won't hurt me and I already asked her not to tell her Dad. I am sure she won't.

At the end of the day, she is blood of my blood. :kapil
 
Probably overrating her looks, if another one is a safer bet, then go that direction.
 
Would've preferred being in Pakistan to do this sort of stuff, as then race or religion don't come into question.
 
This is Halal stuff. I am going to marry her InshAllah.
 
Don't do it, Mamoon.

That text is far from charismatic - its pathetic, sad, desperate and reeks of immaturity and cowardice.

She's either going to ignore it (and never even look your way again), or she's going to show it to her father (despite your "request" .... I know I would) ... or she's going to send you a long, angry reply. With a lot of swear words.

Either way, your fantasy will end sooner than you think, and 850 posts will go to utter waste.
 
There's a logistical question too. I don't know how it works on Pakistani cellular networks, but can you use Whatsapp or something similar and be notified that she got the text (one tick), and that she's read it (two ticks) and that she's typing something, even if she doesn't send it?

It would be nerve wracking to not get an indication of what is going on at the other end.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Our Dad's are best friends. He won't hurt me and I already asked her not to tell her Dad. I am sure she won't.

At the end of the day, she is blood of my blood. :kapil

Let's hope so.

BUT, you better be smooth as hell.
 
I say,just sent this text to her. I am waiting for the tragic climax..:asif
 
I have got a good hunch about that text. I believe its charismatic nature will sway her in my favor. At the end of the day she's a teenage girl and shouldn't be too difficult to flatter. :kapil

Oh you poor guy Mamoon.

That post is SINCERE not charismatic.

Sincerity by itself is RARELY ever going to work. So that's a risk you are talking.

Our Dad's are best friends. He won't hurt me and I already asked her not to tell her Dad. I am sure she won't.

Girls whether they get happy or sad or annoyed or elated HAVE TO FREAKING SHARE it with someone.

There is a chance she may do it with her mom who may then decide this has to be shown to her Dad as you are XYZ's son and her father may talk to your father to make sure this matter is sorted.

Now if you are hoping for a wild shot of them (their family) getting interested in you, its a wild wild shot.

Anyways, odds are very high your Dad, Mom and everyone is going to know about this issue.

Also if she doesn't tell her Mom, she is likely to tell her friends or some elder cousin atleast.

Asking a girl not to tell something outside in such cases is just :)))

Go for the text if you want but remember all the girls here have unanimously voted it down.

Blinding Light is right. Most girls would show it to her Dad or atleast Mom.
 
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Mamoon, if you had even half a brain, you would see that that text is suicidal.

Do not send it. Everyone has already give the reasons.

Also, do you know that the fastest way to spread something is to tell a girl and specifically tell her not to pass it on?
 
My ability to tell the untold tells me, SHE ALREADY KNOWS IT by now. Yes, mark this post, friends. I just got this strange feeling to type it out.

What if she passes on the text to her dad?

The only thing you will be able to flatter is the nurse at the local hospital as she rubs ointment on your battered body...

Wait that doesn't sound too bad.

Go for it.

What´s wrong with you, sir? You look trolled up:msd! Good going:)):)))!
 
My ability to tell the untold tells me, SHE ALREADY KNOWS IT by now. Yes, mark this post, friends. I just got this strange feeling to type it out.

Dhoni bhai can u also say if her rishta has already reached mamoon's house :uakmal
 
Send her Card (without your name) but write whatever you want. And then make a call (from a friend no) and told her. Its from me. :D
 
Okay listen Mamoon bhai, you must use the number to talk to her, hear her voice, get familiar. This will give you inner peace. Try the "Fake calls" idea, or something:

"Hello, this is Peter from the local Church. I thought I would ask you whether you are interested in being told a bit about our faith."

Next:

"Hi, I am calling from a local charitable trust. We are making a swimming pool for the orphans, are you interested in donating some water?"

"Hello ma´am, we are conducting a survey on the success of the current government. It will only take 90 seconds."

"Helloessss Butt Sahib, how are you? Wrong number.... ? Sorry."

Even those little minutes will make you smile the whole day.
 
Mamoon

Once I texted my fiancy to have lunch with me in some restaurant, but by mistake sent it to my eldest brother. :D

In our culture, meeting with fiancy before marriage is consider bad.
 
From another thread.......

..... I led the way, others followed as we now have three well-equipped, capable love gurus, Mahsa´Allah! All have different methods and suggestions though:

Sensible-Indian-fan - over complicated. Gives the impression as if the Kashmir dispute is being settled. I fall asleep half way through his posts.

Nostalgic - perverted! One word suffices! He is into brainwashing the young generation.

Myself - too filmy. Ideas not to be tried at home (unless of course you are our Mamoon bhai who is visited by his cousin).

..... my favorite love guru is SIF by far, he's very realistic and gives good advice.

Nostalgic is too funny to take seriously and Rawal makes it sound like nothing can go wrong in the world. :P

I think we can change the thread topic to rating the love gurus:)).
 
Enough is enough! The start of May has got me into the Shah Rukh Khan mode! Here is my amazingly unrealistic, filmy message.......

*Wait, let me first play some romantic music.*

You probably don´t know me, you probably are least bothered about my existence, completely unaware of the magic spell that you you have cast upon me, but I on the other hand can´t get myself to think about anything else. Hell, from cricket to soccer, from films to the TV serials on our channels, from normal news to scandals, from gosht to daal, nothing fascinates me anymore. Do they call it love? I don´t know..... I mean, this is on a completely different level. At seeing you, hands shiver, heart beats faster, blood pressure shoots up, lips smile, yet feel thirsty, duzz duzz duzz duzz starts.....

Do you remember the day when your favourite team lost recently? I felt so depressed seeing your reactions? I felt like butchering those bunch of useless players! Idiots? By the way, did you cry too? If so, please let me know so that I can cry now.

Do you remember the day when once in childhood a honey bee attacked you? Do you remember the guy who cried the loudest which made all assume that he too must have been attacked? Yeah, that was me. Allow me a confession: sorry for lying, but I was fine. I just cried at seeing you in pain.

I often write "I lub joo" on papers, feel shy and then end up swallowing them.

Do you feel like telling your father? Here, please settle my curiosity: why do girls do that? No, I mean, enlighten me. Isn´t loving someone supposed to be a good, a cute and an innocent thing? My mother tells me, evil people hate, highly exalted people engage in love. Is she wrong?

Also, is your father a strong, well built man? Please tell him to politely chide me instead of hitting me, otherwise I will respond in a strong manner, that is, by running away.

As it is anyway, I just get to get the burden off my chest. The rest is up to you of course.

Bye, sweetheart.
 
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Actually that's not bad.

Travelling alone is waaaaaaaay better than surrounded by her friends.

But before I say anything, I have to mention this. Approaching a girl and striking up a conversation and getting her phone number on the spot is not an easy task. Even guys who are amazing with girls don't prefer it too much. Some like it but most feel more comfortable making use of the natural circumstances where they get in contact with girls. But your case is different. Since she is going to travel the same route no matter what, you don't have to do everything in one go.

Here's what I would ask you to do:

First of all, try to have an eye contact with her (as and when possible). Just have a simple smile. We humans always respond with the same expression that we are are greeted with. Meaning if someone smiles at us, we would smile back. If they scowl, we would scowl too. So if you can, do try to have an eye contact and smile. Don't be shy. Most (overwhelming majority of) girls will be absolutely ok with it unless you give her some creepy weirdo sexual expression :)).

Do it and she will smile back.

(Side note: In fact, if you do nothing but just THIS whenever you commute with her, even that would build up a certain base level of rapport and comfort level.)

Next be in a position where you can naturally go up to her and have a quick word. This situation has a ready made conversation starter: Go up to her, smile and say "hi" (she will smile back and say hi) and then you say something like:

"I watch you commute in this train/bus daily and I see you reading a book 24/7. I travel to my college/work daily via the same route too. So where exactly are you going?"

Something like that. Basically its all about delivery and how comfortable you are when you approach her. If I were you, I would stress the words "reading a book 24/7" in a teasing way (while smiling) when I ask that genuine question. Now as you can see, this isn't some intelligent pickup line. You are not trying any tactics here. You are just asking a normal question. And as far as I know, most girls would happily reply back.

And when she does, just have a normal conversation and move from there. Next time when you see her, be comfortable and talk to her. Don't go into a shell again and act as if you have never talked to her the previous day. Of course, it goes without saying, gauge her and give her a space if she needs it.

If in case you are not able to get into eye contact with her and you have to approach her, use the same approach as above but use some reason for approaching her (maybe you can go for the "I am just very curious" angle). You take a call.

If I were to tell you one thing, its this: Forget about the outcome. Just go and talk to her with the mindset that you are GOING to have fun. The moment we don't give a damn about the outcome, everything changes.

If she replies back properly, GREAT.

If she replies back rudely or sarcastically, GREAT.

If things work out, GREAT.

If things flop big time, GREAT.

Just go and try to have a good time. Worst case, you would have a GREAT experience and a GREAT story to tell the next female you meet.

Not necessarily. btw in urdu there is line : Hansi tey phansi :yk

That means if she smiles, she agrees.
 
Thing is a lot of the advice by sensible indian fan and the others would actually work if Mamoon was trying to impress a pretty girl he met randomly. But he actually has feelings for this girl and a special connection between two individuals just sorta happens without any sort of planning. You can be the biggest player on the planet with the ability to impress the most beautiful of women but the real *spark* you have with a special girl/woman would be inspite of that ability and not because of it. So just trust your instincts, be bold and care not for the outcome Mamoon :waqar
 
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Thing is a lot of the advice by sensible indian fan and the others would actually work if Mamoon was trying to impress a pretty girl he met randomly. But he actually has feelings for this girl and a special connection between two individuals just sorta happens without any sort of planning. You can be the biggest player on the planet with the ability to impress the most beautiful of women but the real *spark* you have with a special girl/woman would be inspite of that ability and not because of it. So just trust your instincts, be bold and care not for the outcome Mamoon :waqar

I get your views and I respect it.

But in my opinion, based on study and observation, I beg to differ.

None of my posts was about trying to IMPRESS her with a pick up line or any short term strategy. Its about being a guy whom a woman would feel attracted to. It doesn't matter if you know the female, you don't know the female, if she is your cousin or not. If she doesn't feel attracted to you, she won't do anything about it EVEN if she wants to get attracted to you.

Sincerity, truthfulness, instinct are all good (and needed for a relationship) but they by themselves don't help always. Males and females are biologically wired differently and they respond to certain behavioral patterns and other factors. It DOES NOT mean there is some kind of 100% scientific law but more often than not, they respond predictably to certain stuff.

Being able to talk is JUST one of those things. Looks, money, power, authority, etc are some of the factors that influence certain behavior among females. But the stuff that I wrote in my previous posts (attractive conversation, personal authority, etc) are universally applicable for majority of the females.

Magic, spark, connection, first sight love are all true but even they are dependent on the above aspects.

I know we have different views Nikhil but just wanted to clarify where I was coming from since you raised a point about it.
 
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Not necessarily. btw in urdu there is line : Hansi tey phansi :yk

That means if she smiles, she agrees.

Dunno why you wrote "not necessarily".

Reg the Hassi thing - Its true but its also grossly simplified and misunderstood. Wrote about that in detail in one of the past posts.

There are millions of females who would smile back at guys in certain situations. If you think they do it because they are attracted to them, then you are grossly mistaken.
 
SIF - ofcourse men and women are biologically wired differently. But I think first and foremost it is all about the aesthetics. If you don't feel attracted to somebody by their looks then then you can't take the next step and find out about their money, authority and power attributes.
 
SIF - ofcourse men and women are biologically wired differently. But I think first and foremost it is all about the aesthetics. If you don't feel attracted to somebody by their looks then then you can't take the next step and find out about their money, authority and power attributes.

Big misconception.

Yes, looks matter. For some females, looks are everything. For some, money is everything. For some, power is everything. But they don't form the majority.

That's why when an average guy (looks wise not personality) goes out with a super hot girl, the first thing other guys say is "man, that dude must be rich."

Its a convenient argument that helps them cope with that fact. Or some are genuinely exposed to such beliefs by others that they truly believe it. But the more you study behavior patterns, the more you will see why that's a lie.

Take a look at what Padma Lakshmi (model) said about Salman Rushdie (the guy whom she married). This is just an example off the top of my head.

I want someone who’s a challenging adversary, who can tease me and get away with it, who can flirt and make me think and laugh and blush,' she says. 'But there’s an art to that. You either have it or you don’t.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...x-husband-Salman-Rushdie-great-wit-flirt.html

She genuinely believes that its an art which is not true as there have been lots of guys in the world who have transformed and gotten good with females. I don't want to go into another big post but this isn't about cheating females by putting up a fake image or anything. Its about genuinely turning into someone comfortable with females. One who can create attraction at will. Its just like getting good at debates.
 
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Salman Rushdie is hardly the average man. I don't have any theoretical basis behind this but its my observation (here in UK atleast) that it is more and more becoming a looks game. If you have good looks then you have a higher probability of initially attrating someone. Your behaviour and personality then makes up for the other half.

This is where it gets complicated because everyone has different perceptions of looks and some have very specific perceptions (tall height, fair complexion) etc.
 
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Salman Rushdie is hardly the average man. I don't have any theoretical basis behind this but its my observation (here in UK atleast) that it is more and more becoming a looks game. If you have good looks then you have a higher probability of initially attrating someone. Your behaviour and personality then makes up for the other half.

This is where it gets complicated because everyone has different perceptions of looks and some have very specific perceptions (tall height, fair complexion) etc.

It was NOT about Salman but about what Padma had to say. It was just an example.

Yes, in certain settings (bar or something), looks matter more.

Google the name Henry Kissinger and see.

A 1972 poll of Playboy bunnies selected Kissinger as the man with whom Hef’s ladies would most like to go out on a date.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/88/Henry_A_Kissinger.jpg

I can go on but here's the thing:I never said looks are useless. In certain settings, it may matter more. Maybe looks are gaining more importance overall but its also an indication of falling standards (male personality) worldwide. Take a look at how men are portrayed in today's movies and how they were in the 40's, 50's and 60's. Its a reflection of our society when today's men think that throwing temper tantrums shows their manliness.

You can either choose to accept looks are everything or you can do something about it. Good dressing sense (which I mess up) is a great asset too. You don't have to look like a model to stand a chance.

Guys (decent looking) with great personality would absolutely crush great looking guys with limited personalities. Usually some guys with great looks HAVE confidence and a pretty good personality but unfortunately whatever they achieve, its assumed to have been only due to looks.
 
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I think I should give up on her. I admit that text is likely to flop big time and I don't see any other opening.

I guess its just not to be. :adnan
 
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