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The complexity of getting married

Facepalm because I have no idea what to do with it. I mentioned my first cousin (our mutual second cousin) who is really close with me and lives in the UK.

In a splendid display of courage, I sent her a text on Whatsapp regarding all this. What made it easier is the fact that she knows that I quite fancy our cousin. Since 2010.

She said I will give you her number which she did but didn't give many idea how to go about it. Also, she added to my dilemma by telling me not to tell the girl that she gave me her number and hence I face an unfortunate complication.
 
Mamoon said:
Facepalm because I have no idea what to do with it. I mentioned my first cousin (our mutual second cousin) who is really close with me and lives in the UK.

In a splendid display of courage, I sent her a text on Whatsapp regarding all this. What made it easier is the fact that she knows that I quite fancy our cousin. Since 2010.

She said I will give you her number which she did but didn't give many idea how to go about it. Also, she added to my dilemma by telling me not to tell the girl that she gave me her number and hence I face an unfortunate complication.
Click to expand...

Oh God.

That is one complicated issue.

As of now, the number is pretty much useless.

Why don't you follow her on twitter, retweet or reply to relevant ones and try to get something going.

If she is on Facebook, you can work something out using the chat feature (assuming she accepts your friend request - which I think she will if you create a proper account and add her).

Mobile sms chat is the best for a lot of things happening but for that you need to officially make her give you her number.
 
She doesn't use facebook and neither do.

I feel giddy just looking at her number. :msd

Have memorized it. :hafeez
 
Mamoon said:
She doesn't use facebook and neither do.

I feel giddy just looking at her number. :msd

Have memorized it. :hafeez
Click to expand...

Ok. Then try something with twitter.

And by the way, you need to calm the down. You are getting too excited and though its great (in general), it can also make you feel very very anxious when you do decide to talk to her. Figure out a way to work on it.

Usually I have seen my friends go this route:

Mobile sms --> Slow and steady --> Constant flirting --> Phone calls --> Game on
 
sensible-indian-fan said:
Ok. Then try something with twitter.

And by the way, you need to calm the down. You are getting too excited and though its great (in general), it can also make you feel very very anxious when you do decide to talk to her. Figure out a way to work on it.

Usually I have seen my friends go this route:

Mobile sms --> Slow and steady --> Constant flirting --> Phone calls --> Game on
Click to expand...

Idea for the first text? Should I reveal my identity?
 
I have a bad history with sharing balance.

When I was in 8th, I got my first phone. randomly hooked up with a girl in my brother's college 5 years my senior via a wrong message. She wasn't faking it.

We went along well and I told her I love you. :kapil She said you are a cute kid.

Then one day, she asked me to send her credit. I refused and that was it. She ditched me. :shakib

Will be married now probably.
 
Mamoon said:
Facepalm because I have no idea what to do with it. I mentioned my first cousin (our mutual second cousin) who is really close with me and lives in the UK.

In a splendid display of courage, I sent her a text on Whatsapp regarding all this. What made it easier is the fact that she knows that I quite fancy our cousin. Since 2010.

She said I will give you her number which she did but didn't give many idea how to go about it. Also, she added to my dilemma by telling me not to tell the girl that she gave me her number and hence I face an unfortunate complication.
Click to expand...

Told you to work the back channels and involve an older common female relative.

You're welcome.

;)


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Mamoon said:
I have a bad history with sharing balance.

When I was in 8th, I got my first phone. randomly hooked up with a girl in my brother's college 5 years my senior via a wrong message. She wasn't faking it.

We went along well and I told her I love you. :kapil She said you are a cute kid.

Then one day, she asked me to send her credit. I refused and that was it. She ditched me. :shakib

Will be married now probably.
Click to expand...

Interesting..

Which brings me to another question - will you ever share balance/credit with PB? :najam
 
Tell her you want to make a painting of her.
 
Mamoon said:
I have got her number. :)) :facepalm:
Click to expand...

Yes:135:!!!!!


Mamoon said:
She said I will give you her number which she did but didn't give many idea how to go about it.
Click to expand...

Mamoon, my brother, why do you think or assume that the whole world is on about thinking of ideas for you:))?

Mamoon said:
Also, she added to my dilemma by telling me not to tell the girl that she gave me her number and hence I face an unfortunate complication.
Click to expand...

The number is useless, then, in this case! For all it´s worth, get it tattooed on your chest.

sensible-indian-fan said:
Or you can do a Dhoni

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news-...h-about-sakshi-and-dhoni/article1-570517.aspx

:))
Click to expand...

For a second I thought that you are talking about me, only to open the link to realise that I am not married yet.
 
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This is not going anywhere! Our guy is too awestruck by her beauty, charisma and all that to even talk to her, but,.... it´s all understandable.

My advice:
Twitter! Yes, hide your identity, conduct random conversations with her and get to know about her likes and dislikes, hobbies, habits, personality in general. Firstly, this will help you getting rid of the "Open mouth" reaction at anything even remotely related to her. This will make you realise that she is a pretty normal human-being like the rest of the world, just that your heart and blood pressure sees her differently.

Lastly, such threads are awesome, mainly seeing how we completely sideline the differences in our views and opinions and let past debates stay in other threads to behave like class fellows suddenly. For a while I ended up thinking that we, the PP forum brigade, are the "Larkey waaley" of this baraat.
 
DHONI183 said:
This is not going anywhere! Our guy is too awestruck by her beauty, charisma and all that to even talk to her, but,.... it´s all understandable.

My advice:
Twitter! Yes, hide your identity, conduct random conversations with her and get to know about her likes and dislikes, hobbies, habits, personality in general. Firstly, this will help you getting rid of the "Open mouth" reaction at anything even remotely related to her. This will make you realise that she is a pretty normal human-being like the rest of the world, just that your heart and blood pressure sees her differently.

Lastly, such threads are awesome, mainly seeing how we completely sideline the differences in our views and opinions and let past debates stay in other threads to behave like class fellows suddenly. For a while I ended up thinking that we, the PP forum brigade, are the "Larkey waaley" of this baraat.
Click to expand...

I completely agree, Dhoni-bhai! :19:

What was the walima menu, again? :P

But on a more serious note, that is good advice there ^ . Begin with Twitter. I think texting first would come across as too stalker-ish.

Maybe you could even ask your mutual cousin (the one who gave you the number) to put in maybe a word or 2 in for you.. To ease her up a bit..
 
My elder brother´s advice:

Given that you won´t use it at all, get the number framed, hang to a wall in your room, stare it all day.

blinding light said:
I completely agree, Dhoni-bhai! :19:

What was the walima menu, again? :P

But on a more serious note, that is good advice there ^ . Begin with Twitter. I think texting first would come across as too stalker-ish.

Maybe you could even ask your mutual cousin (the one who gave you the number) to put in maybe a word or 2 in for you.. To ease her up a bit..
Click to expand...

I keep it simple at wedding, fearing reactions. Hence, naan, biryani, kebaab, nihaari, roast, tikkey, chaawal (sweet as well as the other ones) custard, kheer would suffice. To top it, hakeem ki phakki or Hajmola to be able to digest this tiny little stuff! Phew! Life is not a bed of roses.

Sadly, my advice will never quite be taken seriously, mainly because of the image I have build of myself by joking about myself all the time. People dismiss me as an idiot.

I mean, there´s a reason why girls love me so much - now what if they call me "bhai"?! That´s irrelevant!
 
The "roast" reference in my last post reminds me of a very famous incident of my life which resulted in this classic piece of Urdu poetry:

"Thi shaadi mere dost ki,
Thaali pakri thi chicken roast ki,
Phir achchanak dikhi usski saali,
Jhatt se gir gayi haath se thaali."


:heart:
 
DHONI183 said:
My elder brother´s advice:

Given that you won´t use it at all, get the number framed, hang to a wall in your room, stare it all day.

I keep it simple at wedding, fearing reactions. Hence, naan, biryani, kebaab, nihaari, roast, tikkey, chaawal (sweet as well as the other ones) custard, kheer would suffice. To top it, hakeem ki phakki or Hajmola to be able to digest this tiny little stuff! Phew! Life is not a bed of roses.

Sadly, my advice will never quite be taken seriously, mainly because of the image I have build of myself by joking about myself all the time. People dismiss me as an idiot.

I mean, there´s a reason why girls love me so much - now what if they call me "bhai"?! That´s irrelevant!
Click to expand...

Bro, I think:
a) you underestimate yourself too much
b) you overestimate girls' reactions/words too much

:najam

But irrespective of everything, that is one helluva feast right there!

Considering the huge uphill task, we'd probably deserve all that (plus wedding cake), should something ever happen in between Mamoon and PB!
 
blinding light said:
Bro, I think:
a) you underestimate yourself too much
Click to expand...

Sister, it´s not about underestimating myself. It´s about not setting hopes too high given that only disappointments come my way.

I lost trust in this world after dating (online) a Mumtaaz, who turned out to be a guy! I dislike gender neutral names as well! Couldn´t he have told me 48 hours earlier? Hopes, then sad songs - pointless however, given that he was a guy!
 
My Walima dinner.

Beef pulao
Roast chicken
Mutton qorma
Safaid gosht (not sure if people in Punjab or Sindh know about it)
Seekh kebab
Roast lamb
Palak gosht
Fried fish
Cold drinks obviously
Served with roghi naan
Chocolate pudding
Kashmiri tea
And a 3 tier wedding cake.

The Baraat dinner is likely to found lacking because my father in law is pretty kanjoos. :ajmal
 
DHONI183 said:
Sister, it´s not about underestimating myself. It´s about not setting hopes too high given that only disappointments come my way.

I lost trust in this world after dating (online) a Mumtaaz, who turned out to be a guy! I dislike gender neutral names as well! Couldn´t he have told me 48 hours earlier? Hopes, then sad songs - pointless however, given that he was a guy!
Click to expand...

What made you turn to online dating in the first place?!

But ouch.. that has to hurt :(
 
Mamoon said:
Blinding light is a girl ?!!
Click to expand...

96NotOut said:
You didn't know?

And thanks for including a wedding cake! :D
Click to expand...

Mamoon said:
Blimey, no.
Click to expand...

:))

This never gets old.

Mamoon said:
I am a man of taste and class. Don't expect paindu halwa puri and kheer etc at my wedding.
Click to expand...

There's nothing paindu about halwa/puri and kheer, bro.

Having them weddings is a little iffy, but halwa/puri as Sunday brunch is heaven. With meethi lassi. I'm tearing up here..
 
Mamoon said:
The Baraat dinner is likely to found lacking because my father in law is pretty kanjoos. :ajmal
Click to expand...

That made me chuckle:))!

blinding light said:
What made you turn to online dating in the first place?!

But ouch.. that has to hurt :(
Click to expand...

Too shy to approach them in real life. Met one once, she asked my why I was behaving as if put on the vibration mode. I left the place in embarrassment. She had to pay the bill!
 
How old are you and what do you do?

Btw I am sorry if I was ever rude to you. I don't like to be disrespectful to anyone but women in particular, well it's a shame.
 
I find it paindu nonetheless. It's not artistic and elegant.
 
DHONI183 said:
That made me chuckle:))!



Too shy to approach them in real life. Met one once, she asked my why I was behaving as if put on the vibration mode. I left the place in embarrassment. She had to pay the bill!
Click to expand...

Oh trust me, terribly stingy person.
 
Mamoon said:
Blimey, no.

I am a man of taste and class. Don't expect paindu halwa puri and kheer etc at my wedding.
Click to expand...
Wow.

With her detailed posts that actually had something to do with the OP, a blind man could have guessed she's a girl.

blinding light said:
:))

This never gets old.

There's nothing paindu about halwa/puri and kheer, bro.

Having them weddings is a little iffy, but halwa/puri as Sunday brunch is heaven. With meethi lassi. I'm tearing up here..
Click to expand...
Totally. :P

I'm glad Mamoon won't have halwa puri, I don't like that. I don't like lassi either, or beef pulau.

Kheer isn't that bad, but I only eat Kheer my mother makes.
 
DHONI183 said:
That made me chuckle:))!

Too shy to approach them in real life. Met one once, she asked my why I was behaving as if put on the vibration mode. I left the place in embarrassment. She had to pay the bill!
Click to expand...

Nah.. You should have kept it up IRL - try again and again.

I dont know a thing about such online websites, but I always thought they were scams..

Mamoon said:
How old are you and what do you do?

Btw I am sorry if I was ever rude to you. I don't like to be disrespectful to anyone but women in particular, well it's a shame.
Click to expand...

20, student.

No need to apologise, bro. Its all cool, here. Like I said earlier in this thread, we disagree on a lot of points, but I sincerely wish you do well in this (and life, in general) - as I'd wish for anyone in this forum :)
 
Mamoon said:
I find it paindu nonetheless. It's not artistic and elegant.
Click to expand...

ITS FOOD! Not a wedding dress! :facepalm:

How in the world is palak gosht aesthetically superior to halwa-puri??

96NotOut said:
Wow.

With her detailed posts that actually had something to do with the OP, a blind man could have guessed she's a girl.


Totally. :P

I'm glad Mamoon won't have halwa puri, I don't like that. I don't like lassi either, or beef pulau.

Kheer isn't that bad, but I only eat Kheer my mother makes.
Click to expand...

Was that an intentional pun? That was very smooth, 96NO - good job! :)) :19:
 
Surely, Mamoon bhai is either joking or is suffering from a memory loss. I mean, it´s too obvious from her posts, especially in this thread, that Blinding Light is a girl!

:facepalm:!
 
DHONI183 said:
Surely, Mamoon bhai is either joking or is suffering from a memory loss. I mean, it´s too obvious from her posts, especially in this thread, that Blinding Light is a girl!

:facepalm:!
Click to expand...

Perhaps its post-exam amnesia? :yk2

Can't say I haven't experienced it :batman:
 
blinding light said:
ITS FOOD! Not a wedding dress! :facepalm:

How in the world is palak gosht aesthetically superior to halwa-puri??

Was that an intentional pun? That was very smooth, 96NO - good job! :)) :19:
Click to expand...

The palak gosht had me thinking too. But I like it, so I ignored it.

Sort of. I realized after I wrote it, and left it as it was.
 
Out of nowhere, we are into discussing foods and what not! Mamoon bhai is the ultimate debater in the history of mankind. Seriously addicted to it, he is:asif!
 
DHONI183 said:
Out of nowhere, we are into discussing foods and what not! Mamoon bhai is the ultimate debater in the history of mankind. Seriously addicted to it, he is:asif!
Click to expand...

My Dad tells me you should have opted for Law, but I am not a liar. :najam
 
Palak Gosht is amazing. I won't hear a word against it and looks great too.
 
Anyway, I have offered my serious advice above. It´s now up to him to get started on things, finally!

My advice doesn´t even require any great deal of bravery on his part since the identity will be kept hidden. Besides, you can always deactivate your account there if she ever calls you "bhai".

Bye, my boy!
 
blinding light said:
Please, no. It tastes good, yes but it is not aesthetically superior to Halwa/puri....

I think I mentioned it a few times as well in my posts.. :misbah
Click to expand...

Palak gosht is like a million times better than halwa puri. Palak gosht with boiled white rice is just mouthwatering.

Aesthetically superior? The only aesthetically pleasing thing should be the bride. And I believe she is.
 
96NotOut said:
Palak gosht is like a million times better than halwa puri. Palak gosht with boiled white rice is just mouthwatering.

Aesthetically superior? The only aesthetically pleasing thing should be the bride. And I believe she is.
Click to expand...

You guys.... :facepalm:

Mamoon's based in Peshawar, what about you NO96?

You know what I think - I think you haven't had good halwa puri. Quality halwa puri - the way it should be made.

Come to Lahore, be my guest - I will personally take you places/ feed you quality halwa-puri.

Also - Mamoon was the one who suggested Halwa/Puri isn't "elegant and artistic."
 
I have had halwa puri in Lahore and yes it tastes amazing but I am not a fan.
 
DHONI183 said:
Anyway, I have offered my serious advice above. It´s now up to him to get started on things, finally!

My advice doesn´t even require any great deal of bravery on his part since the identity will be kept hidden. Besides, you can always deactivate your account there if she ever calls you "bhai".

Bye, my boy!
Click to expand...

Kidhar ja rahay ho? :misbah2
 
Mamoon said:
My Walima dinner.

Beef pulao
Roast chicken
Mutton qorma
Safaid gosht (not sure if people in Punjab or Sindh know about it)
Seekh kebab
Roast lamb
Palak gosht
Fried fish
Cold drinks obviously
Served with roghi naan
Chocolate pudding
Kashmiri tea
And a 3 tier wedding cake.

The Baraat dinner is likely to found lacking because my father in law is pretty kanjoos. :ajmal
Click to expand...

I won't touch chicken when i have roasted lamb and fried fish.

And i suggest never go for so many dishes because you are never sure of the right ratio of different items.

I always find one thing short in every wedding regardless how well managed it is. And that one thing is tissue paper.
 
blinding light said:
That's the spirit! :19:
Click to expand...

If being serious is just allowed;-), I was just posting away some nonsense. Personally, I have never quite believed in the concept of dating or finding someone for a relationship. I just believe in the concept of love just happening by itself. That´s just me of course:).

As it is anyway, it has been decreed by 'someone' that even merely looking at other girls would mean myself being slain by her:).
 
waqar goraya said:
I won't touch chicken when i have roasted lamb and fried fish.

And i suggest never go for so many dishes because you are never sure of the right ratio of different items.

I always find one thing short in every wedding regardless how well managed it is. And that one thing is tissue paper.
Click to expand...

My ratio is simple; if you have 1000 guests, prepare food for 2000. :inzi
 
I am considering going gangster on her, sending her a text straightaway explaining my situation.

See you guys later.
 
^ Not now, Mamoon! :facepalm: There's no groundwork to build upon! You'll kill the relationship (in an extremely anti-climatic way) before it even begins!

This is like Afridi going out to bat :facepalm:
 
Last edited:
DHONI183 said:
If being serious is just allowed;-), I was just posting away some nonsense. Personally, I have never quite believed in the concept of dating or finding someone for a relationship. I just believe in the concept of love just happening by itself. That´s just me of course:).

As it is anyway, it has been decreed by 'someone' that even merely looking at other girls would mean myself being slain by her:).
Click to expand...

You should be a poet, then.. Seriously!
 
blinding light said:
You guys.... :facepalm:

Mamoon's based in Peshawar, what about you NO96?

You know what I think - I think you haven't had good halwa puri. Quality halwa puri - the way it should be made.

Come to Lahore, be my guest - I will personally take you places/ feed you quality halwa-puri.

Also - Mamoon was the one who suggested Halwa/Puri isn't "elegant and artistic."
Click to expand...

OK, sure. But halwa puri is too greasy.

Well, anyway, a visit to Lahore is due. I've never been there.

And I'm from KHI. The best city in Pakistan. :D

BTW, timaatar gosht with boiled white rice is even better than palak gosht.
 
96NotOut said:
Mamoon, you won't seriously text her just like that will you?
Click to expand...

Relax. Nothing is happening. Trust me, he himself is still a lot more worried about the consequences of such an action than anyone of us can ever be.
 
This has to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.

Maybe Mamoon can write a book on this after he gets married, it'll sell better than Twilight.
 
With all this talk about food, I have to ask. Does anyone here eat "western" food more often??. Turkey and ham and pasta carbonara are my personal favorites. When you marry her Mamoon make sure im invited and thats on the menu lol
 
Mamoon said:
Idea for the first text? Should I reveal my identity?
Click to expand...

No, don't do that.

More often than not it leads to awkward situation if the girl is very protective of who she gives her number to. Can work but can flop easily too.

I think I have an idea. You say how feasible it is.

See, you had a dinner in one of your relative's place where a few of your cousins came right? So why not plan for a cousin-only get together (where you guys go out somewhere and do something fun).

Here's how it can help you:

Now you can directly call her and tell her that you are planning for something like this and want to know when everyone is available. She is going to ask you how you got her number.

Here's you can do:

"Oh yeah, actually I was talking to [common cousin name] that day and the topic veered towards the family dinner we all had. I told her that that dinner was fun and it was nice to hang out with my cousins and maybe I should plan something where we cousins just get to meet and go out somewhere. She asked me - "ok fine but do you have the number of all the cousins" for which I said no and so she gave me the numbers I didn't have including yours."

Note: Of course tell your cousin before hand about all your plans or else it would be an unmitigated disaster.

Now if this is something that is feasible, then you have a great chance with your cousin.

Why?

Cos you can call her 2-3 times before the event to get confirmation, give details, blah blah blah. You can use those calls to build rapport, have a bit of small talk, get to know her. Basically make her comfortable talking to you. For sudden plans and stuff, you can message her and that can lead some back and forth messaging. In the event, you can socialize with her (don't pick movies - not the best option). Better to go somewhere where there can be a lot of interaction among you cousins.

Once a girl is warmed up to you, you can always send her a "hi" message and a fun back and forth messaging can ensue.

And once you get to that place, then yeah there is a good chance for this to blossom into something meaningful.
 
Last edited:
So you got her number and believe me it is of more use to you them simply tatooing it on your chest. These imbeciles are giving you poor advice bro, maybe they are right about the fact that she is just another girl etc but the fact is you fancy her and if you don't try you'll never know. Fear of rejection is an obstacle but you can overcome with the satisaction of knowing that you tried atleast, i rather get rejected then not try at all.

Anyways you could text her about something which you need to know and when she enquires how you got the number you could simply state that it was written in a book at home or something like that am sure she wouldn't mind. And once she has given an answer to that something you need to know make the usual small talk and take it from there.......

But seriously dude your cousin?? :))) eeewwwwwwwww. Joking :yk
 
Last edited:
lmao at the in-depth analysis from these guys, why are you complicating things even more for this guy. It's simple stuff. Mamoon don't put too much thought into it man.
 
Yeah Mamoon you mentioned that she will start her studies to become a doctor soon so its best to make a move earlier. Research says that women in the medical profession long to be in a relationship the most so get ahead of the pack.

Lol SIF you give advice like a seasoned pro I must say. You can go bowling, Area 51 was a very popular hangout spot in Karachi till the tharaks decided to invade it.

Oh and if you guys are talking about halwa puri, nothing beats Lahore. I've lived in Karachi (10 years) and Lahore, Lahore halwa puri and chanay are miles ahead of anything I've eaten in Pakistan or overseas.

Oh btw, any idea on how to initiate a conversation with this girl I like on my commute. It seems awfully nerve racking to start a conversation in front of so many strangers, I much prefer the 1-to-1 interaction.
 
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