Don't think that I have become a muslim hater. I have started to realize that the muslim way of thinking is the right way for this world.
It was 2019 when I changed. I was inspired by communist environment. Hated religion and more so the one I was born into. My family, except my parents, hated me for that. In 2014, when Modi came to power, I went to vote for the communist candidate dressed fully in red to make a statement.
Read the Quran (or its translation) thrice, not to find faults which is what most people do, but to find peace, and in fact agreed with many things, while a few things were against my views. Always supported muslim business. Would walk further to muslim shops instead of those owned by hindus, because it felt good to exchange pleasantries with muslims. And tell them how I have been reading this new book on Ghalib, and to ask what Iqbal meant in his shiqwa series. The shopkeepers had named me Mohtesham. Employed muslim domestic helps. Hated anykind of hindu religion imagery. Even mocked the BJP supporters on every forum. I believed being pro muslim is the litmus test of anyone who calls himself liberal, and since I saw myself as one, I would always be pro muslim.
2019 it was. It felt like a slap. Like everything I believed in was a lie. The future world I believed in was a mirage and snake oil.
It doesn't mean now I am anti muslim. I want muslims to flourish in Muslim nations. I can't see pictures of palestinian kids. But in India, I want hindus to get their rights. And I don't want anyone to guilt trip hindus. I believe in Qaid-e-Azam's two nation theory now. And I believe in Sir Syed Ahmad Khan. I hate gandhi (used to feel hurt if someone criticized him in the past).
Muslims are admirable people. They have lots of qualities as a community, although individually they may have flaws, but even then, they show a lot of spine and honour for what they believe in. I don't hate them at all. Yes, I am jealous of them. The ones I hate and cannot stand are those hindus who call themselves secular. Munafiqs. Anyway, I will end my stream of thought now.