Question for Muslim men - Would you marry a woman who doesn't pray?

[sweep_shot]

I absolutely would not marry a woman who doesn't pray or fast. I think Muslim men need to be strict about this as many don't care about this.

Thoughts?

 

[Ronaldo7]

Never.
I pray regularly, sometimes i miss some prayers due to whatever reason but never intentionally and i don't remember when was the last time i missed a fast intentionally

If for whatever reason my Iman is low and my wife is not religious herself then that can make it worse for me.
But if she is religious herself she can guide me when i'm feeling low (and vice versa).

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

 

[sweep_shot]

Never.
I pray regularly, sometimes i miss some prayers due to whatever reason but never intentionally and i don't remember when was the last time i missed a fast intentionally

If for whatever reason my Iman is low and my wife is not religious herself then that can make it worse for me.
But if she is religious herself she can guide me when i'm feeling low (and vice versa).

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

Agree with you 100%. That's how I feel also.

It is better to have no wife than a wife who doesn't pray/fast and has no moral compass.

 

[Gotham Cronie]

Both types (praying and non-praying) can change after marriage.

 

[pakistanisgreat]

well it depends how to deal with it.

Agree that we should marry with a religious women/men. There is Hadith where prophet pbuh said when you marry one of the quality should be that person is a religious.

However, if they marry to someone who does not pray at all. After marriage with your actions try to convince that person to pray.

 

[sweep_shot]

well it depends how to deal with it.

Agree that we should marry with a religious women/men. There is Hadith where prophet pbuh said when you marry one of the quality should be that person is a religious.

However, if they marry to someone who does not pray at all. After marriage with your actions try to convince that person to pray.

There is a difference between being super-religious and praying. I am not extremely religious but I still pray 5 times to the best of my ability. I also would expect the same from my partner and if my partner doesn't do that, we have to end marriage.

 

[reversehook]

I would actually marry a girl who didnt pray, and then through my righteous nature/actions win her over... to each his own ...

 

[Major]

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

what kind of idiotic thinking is this?

 

[Major]

I dont think marraige is about whether you pray or not lol... Marriage is more about loyalty and trust that exists between a couple.

What makes you think a person praying doesnt sin? I know people who are religious, who wear scarfs and all and yet they sin. WHat they do is they use religion as a cover to not get exposed to everyone.

 

[Pakpak]

what kind of idiotic thinking is this?

This.

My mother never used to pray but was a fantastic mother, wife and a friend to everyone she knew. She's become very religious in her later years. Same for my wife. She prays now and then but is the best person and the best wife to me and the things and the sacrifices she's made for me and a lot of other people in her life I will never forget.

 

[Bewal Express]

No, my wife didn't and I kept chipping away and she changed. The problem was that if she didn't read namaz the kids wouldn't have done either.

 

[Bewal Express]

I dont think marraige is about whether you pray or not lol... Marriage is more about loyalty and trust that exists between a couple.

What makes you think a person praying doesnt sin? I know people who are religious, who wear scarfs and all and yet they sin. WHat they do is they use religion as a cover to not get exposed to everyone.

We all want to be perfect but we can't be. We are all contradictions and we all sin. Reading Namaz and committing sins isn't great but not reading namaz and committing sins is worse, because at the point of dua we are asking for forgiveness and sooner or later, your conscience will have a go at you unless you are cursed and then nothing can save you.

 

[Bewal Express]

Never.
I pray regularly, sometimes i miss some prayers due to whatever reason but never intentionally and i don't remember when was the last time i missed a fast intentionally

If for whatever reason my Iman is low and my wife is not religious herself then that can make it worse for me.
But if she is religious herself she can guide me when i'm feeling low (and vice versa).

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

For many years I didn't read Fajr. During Ramadan about 7 years ago, the Maulvi said that one namaz missed will be punished with 70 years in hell. That quote literally woke me up. My wife was like me lazy, but she too has come on board and now wakes me up.

 

[sweep_shot]

I dont think marraige is about whether you pray or not lol... Marriage is more about loyalty and trust that exists between a couple.

What makes you think a person praying doesnt sin? I know people who are religious, who wear scarfs and all and yet they sin. WHat they do is they use religion as a cover to not get exposed to everyone.

I am not perfect and I fall short once in a while. But, prayer is something that is mandatory and it is what separates a believer from a kafir.

Here's a hadith:

It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Husayb (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is the prayer, and whoever neglects it has disbelieved (become a kaafir).’”

All sins should be avoided but missing prayer is a much bigger sin than some of the other sins. It is a pillar of Islam.

 

[pakistanisgreat]

There is a difference between being super-religious and praying. I am not extremely religious but I still pray 5 times to the best of my ability. I also would expect the same from my partner and if my partner doesn't do that, we have to end marriage.

well you have to stay together for a while and keep trying through your actions to convince her to pray. If you ask one time and she does not pray you can not just end the marriage. Plus islam does not say that you need to end your marriage if your wife does not pray. At the end of the day you will be judged by your action and she will be by her actions. However, you have to keep trying and do the tabligh.

 

[Nadeemp]

Never.
I pray regularly, sometimes i miss some prayers due to whatever reason but never intentionally and i don't remember when was the last time i missed a fast intentionally

If for whatever reason my Iman is low and my wife is not religious herself then that can make it worse for me.
But if she is religious herself she can guide me when i'm feeling low (and vice versa).

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

Non religious wife is....... what? please elaborate

 

[Ronaldo7]

Non religious wife is....... what? please elaborate

What what?
A non-religious wife is a person who doesn’t regularly pray

 

[Ronaldo7]

For many years I didn't read Fajr. During Ramadan about 7 years ago, the Maulvi said that one namaz missed will be punished with 70 years in hell. That quote literally woke me up. My wife was like me lazy, but she too has come on board and now wakes me up.

Well that’s a positive change.
Well done to you and your wife for rectifying your mistakes

 

[in_cutter]

I absolutely would not marry a woman who doesn't pray or fast. I think Muslim men need to be strict about this as many don't care about this.

Thoughts?

Women/men who pray are not necessarily perfect...

 

[sweep_shot]

Women/men who pray are not necessarily perfect...

Nobody is perfect. I am not perfect. You are not perfect. That's not the point.

The point is, prayer is a very important pillar of Islam and as a practicing Muslim, I wouldn't want a partner who doesn't fulfill this basic pillar.

It is like being a cricket batsman and not knowing what forward defense is. How can you build partnership with someone who has no defense? I hope you get my point.

 

[Pakistanian]

The current girl I'm with is muslim but doesn't pray however she does plan to start praying once she's in the right headspace.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Is it a question for devout Muslim men who pray religiously, or just Muslim men in general?

 

[sweep_shot]

Is it a question for devout Muslim men who pray religiously, or just Muslim men in general?

All Muslim men.

But, I must say that a Muslim man who doesn't pray doesn't have leg to stand on when it comes to complaining about wife not praying.

 

[Pakistanian]

To add to my earlier comment, I usually only date muslim girls that put out so more often than not they're not the ones that pray and I'm not actively guiding them towards the deen anyways.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

All Muslim men.

But, I must say that a Muslim man who doesn't pray doesn't have leg to stand on when it comes to complaining about wife not praying.

What about a Muslim man who doesn't complain about his wife not praying?

 

[sweep_shot]

What about a Muslim man who doesn't complain about his wife not praying?

Well, I would say that male has lack of testosterone.

I believe all married couples should encourage each other to pray. Here's one relevant video:

There's no reason why husband should stay silent.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I'm not watching a video, just sum it up in a few sentences what that guy's point is.

 

[Bigboii]

Well, I would say that male has lack of testosterone.

I believe all married couples should encourage each other to pray. Here's one relevant video:

There's no reason why husband should stay silent.

Is the dude wannabe Arab Indonesian?

 

[sweep_shot]

I'm not watching a video, just sum it up in a few sentences what that guy's point is.

Main points:

- If husband has been reminding wife of prayer for months and she still doesn't pray a single time, husband needs to separate as she has become a kafir.

- If wife prays once in a while, husband can stay as she is still a Muslimah. But, husband needs to continue to remind her to pray regularly.

- Husband has to approach wife in a diplomatic way and not use any harsh tactic.

Watch the video for more details. It is only around 2 minutes long.

 

[sweep_shot]

Is the dude wannabe Arab Indonesian?

This guy is a Saudi. Not Indonesian. LOL.

He is 100% Arab.

I like his lectures.

 

[Ronaldo7]

I'm not watching a video, just sum it up in a few sentences what that guy's point is.

It's a 2 minute video

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Main points:

- If husband has been reminding wife of prayer for months and she still doesn't pray a single time, husband needs to separate as she has become a kafir.

- If wife prays once in a while, husband can stay as she is still a Muslimah. But, husband needs to continue to remind her to pray regularly.

- Husband has to approach wife in a diplomatic way and not use any harsh tactic.

Watch the video for more details. It is only around 2 minutes long.

What if the wife is reminding the husband about not praying but is petty and jealous in other ways?

 

[squanchy]

i wouldn't care at all.

she needs to be a good person.

the world has shown us that praying has nothing to do with being a good human being.

 

[KingKhanWC]

i wouldn't care at all.

she needs to be a good person.

the world has shown us that praying has nothing to do with being a good human being.

Good post, please post more(on the forum), giving your views!

On OP, ideally I would assume every muslim wants a wife which prays but there are people who start to sin as soon as their put away their prayer mat.

Look for a kind and loyal person for wife first, a praying wife shouldn't be at the top of the list.

 

[sweep_shot]

What if the wife is reminding the husband about not praying but is petty and jealous in other ways?

Jealous of what?

Wife has every right to remind hubby if he is not praying just like hubby has the right to remind wife. It goes both ways.

 

[sweep_shot]

Good post, please post more(on the forum), giving your views!

On OP, ideally I would assume every muslim wants a wife which prays but there are people who start to sin as soon as their put away their prayer mat.

Look for a kind and loyal person for wife first, a praying wife shouldn't be at the top of the list.

Yeah. Good heart is the first requirement but prayer is important too. I would look at both.

May God give us pious wives who are also good in hearts.

 

[Hitman]

Praying regularly doesn't necessarily make someone a better person. Osama Bin Laden used to pray as well, while Hitler used to wear a cross.

 

[sweep_shot]

Don't be crazy brother, surely one is enough? Even if both pray, the nagging will be torture.

Haha! You misunderstood my post.

I meant all of us (you, I, and others).

I personally don't care if it is one wife or four wives as long as it is halal.

 

[KingKhanWC]

Yeah. Good heart is the first requirement but prayer is important too. I would look at both.

May God give us pious wives who are also good in hearts.

Are you wanting to marry more than 1 wife? Just out of interest.

If you have 2 and one prays more than the other, does this mean you will love the one which prays more?

 

[sweep_shot]

Are you wanting to marry more than 1 wife? Just out of interest.

If you have 2 and one prays more than the other, does this mean you will love the one which prays more?

In Canada, it is not practical to have more than 1 wife. There are costs involved. 1 is enough. LOL.

But, I obviously can't reject polygamy as it is in our belief system. It is halal. I accept it but I am unlikely to go for it.

But, hypothetically speaking, if I have multiple wives, I would obviously like the one who prays more.

 

[minamino]

Definitely. I would rather marry someone who’s not religious than someone preachy

 

[minamino]

Why should I ask rules for my wife when I don’t do it myself?

 

[andy0204]

Namaaz is important no doubt about it but person needs to be good in behaviour,caring and loving.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

i have no problem with marrying a Muslim women who does not pray. I also have no problem with marrying a Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, atheist, etc women as long as they agree that the children will be raised as Muslim.

 

[angrypathan]

i have no problem with marrying a Muslim women who does not pray. I also have no problem with marrying a Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, atheist, etc women as long as they agree that the children will be raised as Muslim.

What are your thoughts on the widely accepted stance that Muslim men can only marry Muslim, Christian or Jewish women for the marriage to be valid according to Shariah?

 

[Shaddy86]

Have known women that pray 5 times and have affairs and women that don't pray regularly enough but are faithful in their relationships. What good is praying 5 times a day when it has no affect on your character? Btw the same applies for more men than women.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Main points:

- If husband has been reminding wife of prayer for months and she still doesn't pray a single time, husband needs to separate as she has become a kafir.

- If wife prays once in a while, husband can stay as she is still a Muslimah. But, husband needs to continue to remind her to pray regularly.

- Husband has to approach wife in a diplomatic way and not use any harsh tactic.

Watch the video for more details. It is only around 2 minutes long.

So a Muslim who doesn't pray becomes a kafir? That's news to me, I thought a kafir was someone who openly rejected Islam in public.

 

[sweep_shot]

So a Muslim who doesn't pray becomes a kafir? That's news to me, I thought a kafir was someone who openly rejected Islam in public.

Watch the damn video instead of whining. It is 2 minutes long. You are dragging this conversation unnecessarily.

Some scholars say that if a person doesn't pray at all, he/she becomes a kafir.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Watch the damn video instead of whining. It is 2 minutes long. You are dragging this conversation unnecessarily.

Some scholars say that if a person doesn't pray at all, he/she becomes a kafir.

I'm not whining, just asking a question. So if you yourself say that only some scholars hold that view, then why would I watch that video when the guy doesn't hold the official Islamic authority to give a definitive answer?

 

[sweep_shot]

I'm not whining, just asking a question. So if you yourself say that only some scholars hold that view, then why would I watch that video when the guy doesn't hold the official Islamic authority to give a definitive answer?

Who said he doesn't hold official authority? He is an authentic scholar. He is from Saudi Arabia.

Here are some details about him:

SHEIKH ASSIM ALHAKEEM
Sheikh Assim Alhakeem graduated from the prestigious Umm al-Qura University in Makkah, Saudi Arabia in 1998. At present Shaikh Assim is an Imam of a masjid in Jeddah, a role which he has held for the past 20 years, where the sheikh delivers the weekly Friday sermons and lectures on various Islamic Sciences.

Sheikh Assim Alhakeem also participates regularly on both Islamic radio and television programs to spread the authentic teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah. The sheikh also had studies for several years the books of the great Scholar Shaikh Salih Ibn Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on his soul).

Source: https://www.assimalhakeem.net/about/

If you don't want to trust him, that's fine. But, he is followed by many.

Scholars sometimes differ with each other on certain issues but that doesn't make them less authentic. There are obviously different schools of thoughts.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Who said he doesn't hold official authority? He is an authentic scholar. He is from Saudi Arabia.

Here are some details about him:



Source: https://www.assimalhakeem.net/about/

If you don't want to trust him, that's fine. But, he is followed by many.

Scholars sometimes differ with each other on certain issues but that doesn't make them less authentic. There are obviously different schools of thoughts.

That's fine, I would prefer to follow a scholar from a different school of thought.

 

[Robert]

Speaking more broadly, I think it's important to still the mind of its mental chatter in some way, be it prayer or meditation or self-hypnosis.

Mrs Robert is more disciplined at this than I, and I should follow her example.

 

[BaankeJi]

Why is it so important? Why can't you allow her to live her own way?

 

[Barragan]

Never.
I pray regularly, sometimes i miss some prayers due to whatever reason but never intentionally and i don't remember when was the last time i missed a fast intentionally

If for whatever reason my Iman is low and my wife is not religious herself then that can make it worse for me.
But if she is religious herself she can guide me when i'm feeling low (and vice versa).

Also, non-religious women are more likely to be... you know what. So with a religious wife i'll be assured that she's following the correct path and she can have the same trust on me too

Spot on.

 

[Ronaldo7]

So a Muslim who doesn't pray becomes a kafir? That's news to me, I thought a kafir was someone who openly rejected Islam in public.

If you don't pray (intentionally) then obviously you don't believe in the message and if you don't believe in the message then you're obviously a kaafir.

It's not that hard to understand. common sense really

 

[Ronaldo7]

i have no problem with marrying a Muslim women who does not pray. I also have no problem with marrying a Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, atheist, etc women as long as they agree that the children will be raised as Muslim.

You can't marry a woman who doesn't follow one of the three abrahamic religions. The marriage won't be legit.
I'm sure you know this already

 

[Ronaldo7]

Spot on.

Thank you

 

[Ronaldo7]

Have known women that pray 5 times and have affairs and women that don't pray regularly enough but are faithful in their relationships. What good is praying 5 times a day when it has no affect on your character? Btw the same applies for more men than women.

I highly doubt you've met women who pray 5 times a day and have affairs.
The effort and determination you need to pray the Fajr prayer everyday can only be achieved by a true believer and a true believer would avoid doing minor sins let alone major sins such as Zina and adultery.
If a woman who "prays 5 times a day" and has affairs then clearly she's lying

 

[Ronaldo7]

Why should I ask rules for my wife when I don’t do it myself?

If you're not religious then this thread clearly isn't for you.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Why is it so important? Why can't you allow her to live her own way?

Coz she's your wife.

If you want to live your own way, why would you get married?

 

[KingKhanWC]

If you don't pray (intentionally) then obviously you don't believe in the message and if you don't believe in the message then you're obviously a kaafir.

It's not that hard to understand. common sense really

Not as simple as this. People lose faith, gain faith, fluctuate with faith. We as humans are in no position to read others mind, know their circumstances etc. Lets not play God and leave it to him on the day of judgment who is a Muslim and who is non-believer.

 

[Nadeemp]

I highly doubt you've met women who pray 5 times a day and have affairs.
The effort and determination you need to pray the Fajr prayer everyday can only be achieved by a true believer and a true believer would avoid doing minor sins let alone major sins such as Zina and adultery.
If a woman who "prays 5 times a day" and has affairs then clearly she's lying

You must be naive to think that. I myself know more than 3 cases personally where the person praying five times is having multiple affairs. As someone also earlier pointed out prayers and moral chart acted has nothing in common.

 

[BaankeJi]

Coz she's your wife.

If you want to live your own way, why would you get married?

You can be married - yet respect each other's beliefs.
If you can't do that, that will mean being a slave to the other person.

 

[Abdul]

Yes. I'm dating a non muslim girl.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

What are your thoughts on the widely accepted stance that Muslim men can only marry Muslim, Christian or Jewish women for the marriage to be valid according to Shariah?

That is debatable. historically the "people of the book" status was given to Hindus, and Buddhist in the subcontinent. so i think you can make an argument that a Muslim man can marry a non Muslim woman of faiths other than Christianity and Judaism. And as far as atheist or agnostics go, i think that makes it easier in the sense that your children are raised with one religion.

Personally from my experience i have seen that 99% of children born to a Muslim man and a non Muslim women usually identify as Muslim, so i would personally not be too worried about my children having another faith.

 

[jaf348]

I highly doubt you've met women who pray 5 times a day and have affairs.
The effort and determination you need to pray the Fajr prayer everyday can only be achieved by a true believer and a true believer would avoid doing minor sins let alone major sins such as Zina and adultery.
If a woman who "prays 5 times a day" and has affairs then clearly she's lying

I personally know plenty of Muslim men that pray 5 times a day but have extra marital affairs. These are the same guys that act holier than thou public and call you out loud in front of everyone to come for Jummah prayers.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

You can't marry a woman who doesn't follow one of the three abrahamic religions. The marriage won't be legit.
I'm sure you know this already

It will be if you have a nikkah. And i am not particularly pious so i don't care if my wife is a non practicing Muslim, or a women of a non abrahamic faith, or an atheist.


I would like my children to be Muslim, and from my experience i have seen that 99% of children born to a Muslim man and a non Muslim women usually identify as Muslim, so i am not too worried about my children having another faith regardless of who i marry.

 

[Gharib Aadmi]

Not as simple as this. People lose faith, gain faith, fluctuate with faith. We as humans are in no position to read others mind, know their circumstances etc. Lets not play God and leave it to him on the day of judgment who is a Muslim and who is non-believer.

Perfectly stated.

 

[Robert]

I highly doubt you've met women who pray 5 times a day and have affairs.
The effort and determination you need to pray the Fajr prayer everyday can only be achieved by a true believer and a true believer would avoid doing minor sins let alone major sins such as Zina and adultery.
If a woman who "prays 5 times a day" and has affairs then clearly she's lying

Hmm, one can be religious and not physically satisfied within a marriage. Perhaps the husband isn’t giving her what she needs.

 

[Robert]

Not as simple as this. People lose faith, gain faith, fluctuate with faith. We as humans are in no position to read others mind, know their circumstances etc. Lets not play God and leave it to him on the day of judgment who is a Muslim and who is non-believer.

Good post.

According to the Bible Jehovah says “judge not lest ye be judged”, and “vengeance is mine, I will repay”.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Hmm, one can be religious and not physically satisfied within a marriage. Perhaps the husband isn’t giving her what she needs.

What type of excuse is that?
That doesn’t give her the right to cheat

 

[Ronaldo7]

Not as simple as this. People lose faith, gain faith, fluctuate with faith. We as humans are in no position to read others mind, know their circumstances etc. Lets not play God and leave it to him on the day of judgment who is a Muslim and who is non-believer.

what i wrote is still the truth. If you die in the state of Kuffar, you will have died a kaafir.
Anyways, let’s leave it to God as you said

 

[Ronaldo7]

You must be naive to think that. I myself know more than 3 cases personally where the person praying five times is having multiple affairs. As someone also earlier pointed out prayers and moral chart acted has nothing in common.

Yes i’m sure there are cases but my point was that the person is clearly lying then. They’re only praying coz they are obliged to not because they’re sincere if you know what i mean.
If you’re sincere, i doubt you’d do this

 

[imrankhannsu]

It wasnt a deal breaker for me as at the time I wasnt regularly praying. I have become more regular with prayers recently but my wife hasnt but she prays more regularly than she used to Allhamdullilah.

 

[Justcrazy]

If a person is praying somethimes and is negligient sometimes is doing a major sin , but someone who does not pray at all , is out of fold of Islam.

 

[Justcrazy]

What are your thoughts on the widely accepted stance that Muslim men can only marry Muslim, Christian or Jewish women for the marriage to be valid according to Shariah?

It's not a stance, its complete ijma, a person who marries an idol worshiper or other than people of book would be living in adultery, it is not acceptable to Allah.

 

[Justcrazy]

That's fine, I would prefer to follow a scholar from a different school of thought.

If you look into Quran and hadeeth you will find that a person not praying at all is considered as out of fold of Islam. If a person is praying sometimes , then his case his different

 

[Justcrazy]

For many years I didn't read Fajr. During Ramadan about 7 years ago, the Maulvi said that one namaz missed will be punished with 70 years in hell. That quote literally woke me up. My wife was like me lazy, but she too has come on board and now wakes me up.

That Moulvi is illiterate, probably he read from Fazail e Amal , that book has many stupid and fabricated stuff written , yes missing prayer is a big sin , but quantity of punishment is matter of unseen , we will know only when we are dead.

 

[Justcrazy]

The current girl I'm with is muslim but doesn't pray however she does plan to start praying once she's in the right headspace.

What is headspace ? Does she leave other things in life also because of head space ?
What if she dies before right head space ?

 

[Justcrazy]

You must be naive to think that. I myself know more than 3 cases personally where the person praying five times is having multiple affairs. As someone also earlier pointed out prayers and moral chart acted has nothing in common.

Praying is required because it is command of God, it is fundamental to faith , yes a person who prays can do sins , that does not mean that a sinful person is exempt from praying.