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The complexity of getting married

Mamoon said:
I think I should give up on her. I admit that text is likely to flop big time and I don't see any other opening.

I guess its just not to be. :adnan
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If there is no route, why don't you arrange some cousin get together or some kinda stuff like that where you can invite her.

If the whole thing is anyway going to flop, you might as well give it a shot this way.

Even if that flops, you would atleast be at peace with yourself that you gave it a real shot.
 
Mamoon said:
I think I should give up on her. I admit that text is likely to flop big time and I don't see any other opening.

I guess its just not to be. :adnan
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Don't be a pyar mein hara hua aashiq.
As I said before in this thread forget all the 10 million advices u are getting, go to her and just tell her that u really really like her and have liked her since the first time u saw her and u couldn't hide it anymore, tell her u don't care if she tells this to anyone but u just had to get this thing off ur chest. :ajmal
 
No Mamoon don't think like that bro. You will end up like this guy:

40-year-old-virgin-poster.jpg


Sending that text will be the biggest regret of your life. Build up a rapport with her rather than suddenly going ballistic with your professions of love. This is where I used to love MSN Messanger when growing up ; add her on Facebook, chat on there with her.

Plus bro you have a skill in that you can paint, if I were you I would seriously think of how to use it to portray my feelings for someone.
 
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Punisher said:
No Mamoon don't think like that bro. You will end up like this guy:

40-Year-OldVirginMoviePoster.jpg


Sending that text will be the biggest regret of your life. Build up a rapport with her rather than suddenly going ballistic with your professions of love. This is where I used to love MSN Messanger when growing up ; add her on Facebook, chat on there with her.

Plus bro you have a skill in that you can paint, if I were you I would seriously think of how to use it to portray my feelings for someone.
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Haha....

On an unrelated topic: Here's one huge tip for guys who WANT TO BE DEPRESSED FOR THE REST OF TODAY:

Go to IMDB page of 40 year old virgin and read the discussions of well.....40 year old virgins.

Did it a year or two ago and was depressed for one whole day.
 
:)))

Well I can't think of anything at the moment. I reckon I will have to take the conventional route of telling my parents when they start the hunt for me in a few years time. :malik

Hopefully she will be available.
 
Mamoon said:
:)))

Well I can't think of anything at the moment. I reckon I will have to take the conventional route of telling my parents when they start the hunt for me in a few years time. :malik

Hopefully she will be available.
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:facepalm: wouldn't it be much better if u make her your girlfriend now?
 
:6: This thread had become an integral part of my life.

I wanted a happy ending.
 
You can't give up now Mamoon. I have too much invested in this saga. Indirectly emotionally that is. I haven't been placing bets.

It would be like when one spends eight hours on a match and one's team loses on the final ball.

Just send the text. It's better than not knowing what may have been. Better yet, edit the text, based on the suggestions here.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
I can't believe this. I was so interested in this story.:(
#SueMamoon

Besides, so many of our efforts are going to be wasted.:po:
#WeGotTrolled
 
My saintly quote full of wisdom:

"Everything is fair in love, war and to escape parents´ maar."
 
sensible-indian-fan said:
I get your views and I respect it.

But in my opinion, based on study and observation, I beg to differ.

None of my posts was about trying to IMPRESS her with a pick up line or any short term strategy. Its about being a guy whom a woman would feel attracted to. It doesn't matter if you know the female, you don't know the female, if she is your cousin or not. If she doesn't feel attracted to you, she won't do anything about it EVEN if she wants to get attracted to you.

Sincerity, truthfulness, instinct are all good (and needed for a relationship) but they by themselves don't help always. Males and females are biologically wired differently and they respond to certain behavioral patterns and other factors. It DOES NOT mean there is some kind of 100% scientific law but more often than not, they respond predictably to certain stuff.

Being able to talk is JUST one of those things. Looks, money, power, authority, etc are some of the factors that influence certain behavior among females. But the stuff that I wrote in my previous posts (attractive conversation, personal authority, etc) are universally applicable for majority of the females.

Magic, spark, connection, first sight love are all true but even they are dependent on the above aspects.

I know we have different views Nikhil but just wanted to clarify where I was coming from since you raised a point about it.
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Oh I wasn't being critical of your advice or anything. Actually your advice to him was brilliant. It's just that there is a strong element of luck involved no? Especially when you are looking for a long term soul mate like mamoon is. You are never really sure until you have spent a lot of time with the person and even then there is the fear that a longterm relationship would be rocky. The point being there a lot of factors involved which are simply out of your control. Now if its just a short,non-serious relationship with little commitment - its easier to offer advice on that since there are less parameters. Just my two cents :).
 
Nikhil_cric said:
Oh I wasn't being critical of your advice or anything. Actually your advice to him was brilliant. It's just that there is a strong element of luck involved no? Especially when you are looking for a long term soul mate like mamoon is. You are never really sure until you have spent a lot of time with the person and even then there is the fear that a longterm relationship would be rocky. The point being there a lot of factors involved which are simply out of your control. Now if its just a short,non-serious relationship with little commitment - its easier to offer advice on that since there are less parameters. Just my two cents :).
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Of course you were NOT critical of me. I know that. :)

Regarding your reply - you are absolutely right.

I should have mentioned this before:

Initial attraction has NO BEARING on lasting attraction.

Lasting attraction has NO BEARING on a good marriage (so many couples have had live in relationships for years, got married and then got divorced).

Since Mamoon is in the first step, all my comments were geared towards that.

Also you are right. There is a LUCK element in Mamoon's case.

Attraction isnt' a scientific law which works everytime. It only works well given a decent sample data. So if you are hoping for it to work perfectly on one instance, it may or may not.

So your comments are bang on.
 
Mamoon said:
:)))

Well I can't think of anything at the moment. I reckon I will have to take the conventional route of telling my parents when they start the hunt for me in a few years time. :malik

Hopefully she will be available.
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Next time before criticizing any player's performance remember your own efforts. :ahmed

Well if she is worth taking a slight risk then you should take it and if all of a sudden you are getting an idea that you don't like her enough then it is altogether a different thing.
 
It wasn't. It still isn't but I am unable to make something happen. Playing dot balls.
 
You'd fight till the end. play smart cricket.

No tuk tuk or boom boom. Just plain, simple and smart cricket
 
I was in slogging mode up till now but I feel demoralized and dejected today.
 
Mamoon said:
I was in slogging mode up till now but I feel demoralized and dejected today.
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No you were about to heave the ball but then dead batted it as you got scared you will be caught.

Now you want to go home and not face the next ball.

This day too shall pass and tomorrow you will be up with a new scheme.
 
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A great woman once said...

"Thread sirf teen cheezo ke wajah se chalta hai. Entertainment, Entertainment, Entertainment."


Mamoon. Entertain us.
 
Let's at least hit 1000 posts. We've come so far.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
This whole thread is like a drama serial. I bet half of you are just here for laughs.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk
 
Ok Mamoon I am very curious.

Why can't you organize something where you can invite most of your cousins (including her)?

When there was a dinner at one of your relative's place, many of them did come no? So what's the problem in arranging for a cousin only event?

Is it absolutely impossible to do that?

Other thing off the top of my head: Why not follow her on twitter and over a period of time use that to communicate with her? Everyone does this on FB. Since she is on Twitter, why don't you try on twitter?

Slow and boring method but its something.

For me, the first idea looks the most feasible in terms of building a meaningful relationship. Probably you have a reason for not doing it but I can't see what.
 
Oh´ no, I am deeply saddened by this:( as I currently listen to this fitting song with dried up tears in my eyes:(.......

https://vimeo.com/11967504

You are demoted from the precious title of bhai and will now be referred to only as Mamoon, that is, unless you change your plan. Apostasy from love results in enmity with me!

But:(.......

"Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow" - (2.2.197-8) Juliet.
 
Last bit of advice:

Twitter! Yes, it´s up to you whether you want to present yourself as Mamoon or as some anonymous person, or fake your identity. Talk to her, give yourself a chance to get to know her.

This will get rid of the "Everything is gone" feeling that there is in your heart. It will give you a new life where a new start will take place.
 
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Punisher said:
No Mamoon don't think like that bro. You will end up like this guy:

40-year-old-virgin-poster.jpg


Sending that text will be the biggest regret of your life. Build up a rapport with her rather than suddenly going ballistic with your professions of love. This is where I used to love MSN Messanger when growing up ; add her on Facebook, chat on there with her.

Plus bro you have a skill in that you can paint, if I were you I would seriously think of how to use it to portray my feelings for someone.
Click to expand...

Lols, two totally opposite views. Like text, there is huge risk on chating on facebook. You can deny a phone call but cant facebook chat like text.
 
In our office, office manager loved my collegue and want to marry her. But like you was in trouble how to tell her. He was transfered to other office. Eventually what he did. He send her Red Rose bouquet with a love card on valentine day. But he did not write his name. Instead he wrote hie designation " office manager - XYZ project".

Unlucky for him, bouquet reached office when she has already left for hostel. One of our colleague received that and showed to all that card. So everyone in office knew that. ( When contacted by us, he refused to admit that he send it. But after his marriage, all knew that it was he). Next day bouquet and card were handed over to her. But she did not mind that. Dont know what happened next, I left office, went for higher studies abroad. After return I came to know they are going to marry soon, and then after 6-7 months they married.

May be you get some idea form it.
 
sensible-indian-fan said:
^ Yeah if Mamoon had his way, he would have given us updates till his grand children got married.
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You're mocking me, aren't you? :P

Well, anyway, Mamoon, do something! If you love her as you claim you do (which I highly doubt), you wouldn't give up.

You can let this thread die after my exams are over. But I need something to keep me from going crazy and this was doing the trick.
 
@ Ikball bhai my post was to encourage Mamoon to build up a rapport with her as texting may seem too direct.

This whole scenario reminds me of a girl I used to like when studying high school in Canada, she was from Indonesia and my god she was a beauty. I chatted with her the other day and there were so many nostalgic memories.

Mamoon instead of waiting for your parents to ask you when you come of age, it would be better to let them know beforehand about your intentions. There is no harm in that, in the meantime just focus on establishing yourself academically and career wise so that you are at the top of the pile when her parents decide to consider proposals for her.
 
Punisher said:
@ Ikball bhai my post was to encourage Mamoon to build up a rapport with her as texting may seem too direct.

This whole scenario reminds me of a girl I used to like when studying high school in Canada, she was from Indonesia and my god she was a beauty. I chatted with her the other day and there were so many nostalgic memories.

Mamoon instead of waiting for your parents to ask you when you come of age, it would be better to let them know beforehand about your intentions. There is no harm in that, in the meantime just focus on establishing yourself academically and career wise so that you are at the top of the pile when her parents decide to consider proposals for her.
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Indonesian and malayisan girls are very beautiful and broad minded. you can talk to anyone openly and straight forward. They dont mind.
 
^ Yes that's very true, they don't have any prejudices at all. Also I have met some amazing Brazilian people and girls here in London. I truly have come to respect them - very genuine people.
 
My brother's nikkah tomorrow. Raat ko phir function hoga light sa. She's invited. :adnan
 
Mamoon text her on Saturday midnight. She is not going to eat you alive. At best she won't reply you , she is not going to drag you in family discussions except may be share it with a close friend/cousin.

Just don't talk about marriage and your cowardice .

Just one short text and nothing after that until she replies you.

If she has already completed his intermediate or equivalent qualification then there is no point of waiting any further. Whether She likes you or loathes you it is not going to change now as she seems pretty matured now.

To hell with her if she does not answer in affirmative. That's the spirit.
 
Don't you dare mess this up Mamoon.

Don't you freaking dare mess this up.

Be a man and go and talk to her.

All the best.

By the way, what is a nikkah?
 
Mamoon said:
My brother's nikkah tomorrow. Raat ko phir function hoga light sa. She's invited. :adnan
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That's a great chance.

Don't forget to make eye contacts. Try to read her and analyze what she thinks of you.

But don't hang around her too much , that gives a negative impression.
 
Mamoon tell me you are not making this up. This thread was breathing its last and you suddenly came up with your brother's Nikkah.

You never talked about this before. Do things happen so abruptly in Peshawar?:91:
 
I personally can tell what a girl is thinking about me by merely having a glance.

And you Mamoon have been watching her since 2010 at least.
 
waqar goraya said:
Well, what if he does not has this?

It is not baraat or walima after all, certainly not his own Nikkah at least. :malik
Click to expand...

Buy one.

rmmuwx.png


If he manages this look, I think he'd have secured PB's attention.**

Also - I'm no Fawad Khan fangirl. But this was one helluva classy look; a look that a Pakistani guy should/could never get wrong.

EDIT: More than just PB's attention**
 
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^
So, this is how you would personally like to see your " -------" ?

Even in that picture it seems that he is a groom himself.
 
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blinding light said:
Buy one.

rmmuwx.png


If he manages this look, I think he'd have secured PB's attention.

Also - I'm no Fawad Khan fangirl. But this was one helluva classy look; a look that a Pakistani guy should/could never get wrong.
Click to expand...

See now this is what Haroon should be emulating when he performs the stare.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
waqar goraya said:
^
So, this is how you would personally like to see your " -------" ?

Even in that picture it seems that he is a groom himself.
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That's irrelevant.

The reason why I posted this pic (I wrote a 10 page paper on this serial), is that it shows class, honour, decency/haya whilst at the same time, the guy is getting his point across to the girl very, very clearly - he can't live without her.

THAT ^ is something no girl can ever, ever ignore.
 
blinding light said:
That's irrelevant.

The reason why I posted this pic (I wrote a 10 page paper on this serial), is that it shows class, honour, decency/haya whilst at the same time, the guy is getting his point across to the girl very, very clearly - he can't live without her.

THAT ^ is something no girl can ever, ever ignore.
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But it seems to me that they are already married.

We need to find a way which will take Mamoon to that stage which the picture depicts.

It's all about getting there where they already are.
And pardon me for my ignorance as i have not watched a drama serial since ages.
 
Mamoon said:
My brother's nikkah tomorrow. Raat ko phir function hoga light sa. She's invited. :adnan
Click to expand...

Take the bull by the horns and text her. Not *that* text. Something short and meaningful. A single line stating you can't wait to see her the next day etc.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
P.S. this time, do hand her the drink.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
waqar goraya said:
But it seems to me that they are already married.

We need to find a way which will take Mamoon to that stage which the picture depicts.

It's all about getting there where they already are.
And pardon me for my ignorance as i have not watched a drama serial since ages.
Click to expand...

Nope - this was the point where he actually proposed to her.

Before this, it was playful banter - the guy called her "billi" and she hated his guts (but he was an extended cousin and neighbour, so they faced off quite often).

They worked together during the Pakistan Movement which brought them closer.

When Hassan (the guy in the pic) passed his engineering exams, a melaad was held in his honour, and thats when he popped the question (above scene).

All this is taken from the TV serial "Dastaan" - which is actually based on a true story.

So there, Mamoon. Dress classy, try to stay cool - but please get something across to PB tomorrow.
 
I think PB needs a bigger stimulus than eye contacts. As Mammon has eulogized her beauty here extensively it seems to me that she thinks it is quite normal for people to stare at her in awe and amazement.
 
There's a difference in just staring and actually make eye contact.

He can get half his message across by making eye contact and holding it. She'll probably figure it out.
 
96NotOut said:
There's a difference in just staring and actually make eye contact.

He can get half his message across by making eye contact and holding it. She'll probably figure it out.
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Exactly.

Beautiful gets stared at by desperate guys all the time and they are aware of it.

What they don't usually come across is confident guys who can make eye contact without creeping them out.

Haha.

Someone asked the question - how did this nikkah thing come about all of a sudden?
 
I am loving Waqar Goraya bhai´s expert-ish and uncle-typish behaviour:))!

"I personally can tell what a girl is thinking about me by merely having a glance" - quote of the century!

blinding light said:
..... Before this, it was playful banter - the guy called her "billi" and she hated his guts......
Click to expand...

No idea why, but these type of stories fascinate me to no end. Those ones, where they get into fights, minor ones, that teasing and annoying of each other which ultimately turns into an habit, an addiction, which then suddenly makes you realise how boring life would be without all that stuff, which of course makes you believe that this might well be love. Actually, usually something amidst all this would happen to make one realise that this dislike is actually just affection, and something will happen where one will be supported by other and hence the inner feeling of compassion towards each other.

*Film over!*

kingusama92 said:
Just give her one of these looks. She'll understand.

creepy-smile-o.gif
Click to expand...

An immediate autograph please, sir:)))!
 
@SIF Nikah is like a religious event where you express your desire to marry your significant other in front of witnesses. It is similar to taking your vows in Christianity and is held up as a proof of marriage. Some people do it earlier and some people prefer to do it on the day of the wedding.

I think strictly religiously there can be no contact between man and woman until a Nikah is done.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
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