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The complexity of getting married

kaayal said:
Thank God I escaped this humiliation,even though my husband is not from my family.
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You're married?!?!?!

I had you down as a wee lass.

Then again, at my age, most of you really are wee laddies and lassies.


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Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Interesting story Nostalgic.

My grandma told me of this incident once that she was part of. It's when she took her sons best friend to a prospective house for the initial meet and great etc. As usual the girl rolled in with the tea tray and sat down for small talk. The conversation soon veered towards various pets that she was in possession of and took care of at her house. For some reason someone in the room asked about how she dealt with their excrements and she proceeded to give a long and detailed account of that and in that process kept saying words like "paikhana" and "peeshaab". Needless to say, for a prospective husband, that account was too much to bear and he declined to make any offer.
 
^ See now if Mamoon were to marry her, sharing a bathroom wouldn't be awkward. For her anyhow.


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Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Old timers may remember the story " Ghar se Ghar tak," in the Muraqqa-e-Urdu textbook for Federal Board Matriculation classes. Brought to us by the good people of the Punjab Textbook Board. It shows how demure girls can be real firebrands once the tea trolley is stashed away.


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Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
22-27 age is best time for you, go enjoy the life and don't worry about getting married. When time comes, you will find someone or someone will find you.

It took me 3 relationships to find someone who i can think about spending entire life without second thoughts. If i rushed at 22 withgirlfriend i had, Life could have turned some weird way.

Best of Luck!
 
Nostalgic said:
You're married?!?!?!

I had you down as a wee lass.

Then again, at my age, most of you really are wee laddies and lassies.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Am a final year MBBS student. My nikkah was on last february. After completing my course and internship,i will go to my husband's place..:)
 
Nostalgic said:
A guy two years my senior at university went with his parents to "see" a girl. The girl walked in, rolling that tea trolley thing. He accepted the cup of tea, but then also helped himself to five biscuits, and proceeded to dunk the biscuits in the tea. The last one disintegrated in the tea.

Needless to say, he was rejected. And since people knew people who knew the girl, the news spread throughout campus.

Not relevant to this discussion, but the girl serving tea comment reminded me of it. Also there's a lesson here: when you're "seeing" a girl, go easy on the goodies accompanying the tea. And never, repeat, never, dunk the biscuits.
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If this is anything to go by, things will never go well for me. Yes, I dip biscuits in the tea. Now, please don´t judge me based on this habit alone. I am a good human-being.

blinding light said:
I know right, 96NotOut!! :facepalm: theres a special placr in hell for those aunties who reject a girl for not being an Aishwariya Rai, while their own sons are literally lafangay and cheap (often horrid-looking themselves!)

No, mamoon - that might be minor discomfort when you are waiting for a reply to a proposal.. But girls parading around, forcing to be amicable, serving tea, whilst being bombarded with questions like "what is your height beta? What is your weight beta?" is infinitely more humiliating.

Which is why most parents prefer marrying their daughters off to someone they know/extended relative/family-friend or sth to save them from this humiliation.
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These aunties.... sad because, if women don´t honour, respect and understand women, who will? Such aunties need to remind themselves of their own times and how they must have felt with such uncomfortable treatment when they were to get married.

Also about this "Tea serving ritual", let´s suppose that a girl is a bit shy to do this, whispering will start: "What a mannerless girl!", or something like, "Doesn´t she want to marry? Could it be, that she likes someone already?" And these things are not necessarily uttered. Eye contact between the boy´s parents or between the boy´s mother and sister suffices.
 
Yes, the parents of the guy checking you out when you are serving tea is ridiculous. :asif
 
kaayal said:
Lol the IK part made me chuckle. :))
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I wanted to put Junaid's name there, but I didn't wanna come off as an obsessed fangirl.
sensible-indian-fan said:
You are a girl?

You being a cricket and football fan, I thought otherwise (pardon my prejudice).

Am surprised to be honest.

That's a unique combo.
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Yeah, I'm a girl. Heavily influenced by my brother and his interests. :P

But girls can like qnything boys can, at least that's what I was always taught.
 
96NotOut said:
I wanted to put Junaid's name there, but I didn't wanna come off as an obsessed fangirl.


Yeah, I'm a girl. Heavily influenced by my brother and his interests. :P

But girls can like qnything boys can, at least that's what I was always taught.
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Sure they can.
 
I agree, the "checking" out of the girl is weird. What do you want? Makes you feel like a qurbani ka jaanwar.

Pretty soon people will be asking, kitne daant ki larki hai, as my friend so aptly put it.
 
96NotOut said:
Good, you agree. My friends don't.

And I see you hid behind a softer term, "unique", in your previous post. Most people call me weird, lol.
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You're a girl?!?! I'd never thought I'd see a cricket fan who was a girl let alone a football and cricket fan who's a yank(american)(no insults here lol)
 
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Haz95 said:
You're a girl?!?! I'd never thought I'd see a cricket fan who was a girl let alone a football and cricket fan who's a yank(american)(no insults here lol)
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Uh, yeah. I thought everyone knew this by now...

And I'm not offended at all. :) Plus, I know what a Yank is. :P
 
96NotOut said:
Good, you agree. My friends don't.

And I see you hid behind a softer term, "unique", in your previous post. Most people call me weird, lol.
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I don't find it weird.

I find it interesting. That's why used the word "unique".

Yes, its a lot different I agree.

A girl who likes both cricket and football.

Gosh, you are going to be a catch in the marriage circuit.
 
96NotOut said:
You're the second person to say this... Why?

My interests should not have much to do with it.
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Cos a typical guy would say "she loves sports(or video games) and she cooks? Marry her" lol :)) since most girls aren't in to boy stuff
 
I am going to be a very light and gentle father-in-law. I would only ask her whether she can make me tea each day at 14:00 PM. This would suffice.

My dream fantasy is, being scolded by my daughter-in-law for excessive posting on the PP forum, hence not taking care of health, and my wife interrupting to add, "Look, what a gem we found for our son!"

Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourselves as I first need to convince parents inti marrying their daughter to me.
 
DHONI183 said:
If this is anything to go by, things will never go well for me. Yes, I dip biscuits in the tea. Now, please don´t judge me based on this habit alone. I am a good human-being.
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That's quite alright. I do too, at home. Doing it at a potential susraal though is a no-no.

Unless of course they serve rusks instead of biscuits. In which case, dunk away. Just don't marry them.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
kaayal said:
Am a final year MBBS student. My nikkah was on last february. After completing my course and internship,i will go to my husband's place..:)
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That's great news Kaayal.

I might be getting married this year too...fingers crossed.
 
Haz95 said:
Cos a typical guy would say "she loves sports(or video games) and she cooks? Marry her" lol :)) since most girls aren't in to boy stuff
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Aah, OK.

Too bad for them, I'm marrying the guy in my signature, lol.
 
Kaayal, you will post even then, right?

I don't think I'll be able to deal with my older sissy leaving. :(
 
She is upset on Twitter because people spoiled the Game of Thrones episode for her. :sami
 
A 22 year old should be enjoying his life right now. And yes arrange is tough and can be embarrassing when you're shot down by the potential in-laws. I also agree with you that it's hard to get engaged to someone you don't know. However what you can do is get unofficially engaged, get to to know the person and then get officially engaged and married. No need to beat the drums as soon as you get engaged because it's harder to breakup when everyone (your relatives) knows you're engaged..
 
Mamoon said:
We will have two kids InshAllah. :jf
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I would suggest you to make a cricket team.:yk

You have 'high' standards and you need to maintain them.:afridi

Also, you can teach them how to swing the new ball, how to bowl magical deliveries, how to become a proper batsman and how to field.
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
I would suggest you to make a cricket team.:yk

You have 'high' standards and you need to maintain them.:afridi

Also, you can teach them how to swing the new ball, how to bowl magical deliveries, how to become a proper batsman and how to field.
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I don't play for records :srt

Sometimes kids can be annoying and I can't tolerate more than two, and if they like cricket I would coach them into global superstars.
 
Anfield said:
A 22 year old should be enjoying his life right now. And yes arrange is tough and can be embarrassing when you're shot down by the potential in-laws. I also agree with you that it's hard to get engaged to someone you don't know. However what you can do is get unofficially engaged, get to to know the person and then get officially engaged and married. No need to beat the drums as soon as you get engaged because it's harder to breakup when everyone (your relatives) knows you're engaged..
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Unofficial engagement involves telling parents?
 
Nostalgic said:
That's quite alright. I do too, at home. Doing it at a potential susraal though is a no-no.

Unless of course they serve rusks instead of biscuits. In which case, dunk away. Just don't marry them.
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Hmmm.... Advice taken, seriously. It's however tough to switch your habits and pretend being a different personality just to make an impression. If I happen to see tea and biscuits, my urge becomes relentless.

A good idea would be to let my mother let them know on the phone that they should either serve one of the two, or neither.

96NotOut said:
Lol, so is Rawal. :P
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I am humbled by this compliment. I just feel that I am a bit more professional at it than Nostalgic.

Mamoon said:
She is upset on Twitter because people spoiled the Game of Thrones episode for her. :sami
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Keeo the updates coming, my boy! Just don't mention the exact content of her tweets, or else you will be in trouble I fear.
 
DHONI183 said:
Keeo the updates coming, my boy! Just don't mention the exact content of her tweets, or else you will be in trouble I fear.
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I am seasoned campaigner, which is why I take on 4/5 people at the same time and win. :afridi

Not going to leave clues over her identity. :jf
 
Mamoon said:
I don't play for records :srt

Sometimes kids can be annoying and I can't tolerate more than two, and if they like cricket I would coach them into global superstars.
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I fear you'd be the coach who keeps telling the kids how bad they are compared to their Indian and English counterparts ;)
 
Saqs said:
I fear you'd be the coach who keeps telling the kids how bad they are compared to their Indian and English counterparts ;)
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No, see when it comes to wives and kids, the old Urdu bromide comes into play: they say there are two sets of people who always appear far better than they really are: your own kids, and other people's wives.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Then there are the two things one always overestimates: one's own intelligence, and the other guy's wealth.

I know for a fact Saqs is a multi-millionaire. I figured that out using my awe-inspiring deduction skills.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Nostalgic said:
No, see when it comes to wives and kids, the old Urdu bromide comes into play: they say there are two sets of people who always appear far better than they really are: your own kids, and other people's wives.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Ghar ki murghi daal barabar......
 
Nostalgic said:
No, see when it comes to wives and kids, the old Urdu bromide comes into play: they say there are two sets of people who always appear far better than they really are: your own kids, and other people's wives.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Nostalgic said:
Then there are the two things one always overestimates: one's own intelligence, and the other guy's wealth.

I know for a fact Saqs is a multi-millionaire. I figured that out using my awe-inspiring deduction skills.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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So much wisdom condensed into two posts in the ether. Take a bow.
 
Nostalgic said:
See now this would go great with the discussion we're having on that other thread about horny desi kukkars etc.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Daal made well, with the right ingredients (salt, spice, aromas) packs a much more appetizing and satisfying flavor than any Murghi can ever dream of, if you catch my drift.
 
saadibaba said:
You would make a great Cupid!
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I would, wouldn't I. Flying around in my birthday suit, the bowstring taut, the arrow ready to fizz, with the fringe benefit of feeding my voyeuristic, Peeping Tom inclinations under the guise of professionalism.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Nostalgic said:
I would, wouldn't I. Flying around in my birthday suit, the bowstring taut, the arrow ready to fizz, with the fringe benefit of feeding my voyeuristic, Peeping Tom inclinations under the guise of professionalism.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Lol. Just make sure in case of OP that you get the right cousin.
 
saadibaba said:
Daal made well, with the right ingredients (salt, spice, aromas) packs a much more appetizing and satisfying flavor than any Murghi can ever dream of, if you catch my drift.
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Right.

If all else fails, there's the Knorr chicken cube fad of yesteryears.

I don't know if they were aware of the risqué connotations of the "ghar ki daal mein murghi ka maza" line.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Don't you guys just love Time Pass? We have such psychedelic, surreal, trippy threads. In this thread alone, there are discussions on cousins, doctors, incest, dangar doctors, nubile maidens, tea trollies, desi kukkars, cupids and daal.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Mamoon said:
Unofficial engagement involves telling parents?
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yes. Just your parents and her parents. It's kinda license to know each other at least that much that you can decide whether you want to live the rest of life with him/her or not.
 
Nostalgic said:
Right.

If all else fails, there's the Knorr chicken cube fad of yesteryears.

I don't know if they were aware of the risqué connotations of the "ghar ki daal mein murghi ka maza" line.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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It very well could have been intentional. If only it was that easy as adding a cube to boiling water.
 
Nostalgic said:
Don't you guys just love Time Pass? We have such psychedelic, surreal, trippy threads. In this thread alone, there are discussions on cousins, doctors, incest, dangar doctors, nubile maidens, tea trollies, desi kukkars, cupids and daal.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Apparently posters like SOPL think the standards of TP has gone down the drain. Quite the contrary IMO.
 
saadibaba said:
Apparently posters like SOPL think the standards of TP has gone down the drain. Quite the contrary IMO.
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I take such unfounded comments as a personal affront.

SoPL, meet me in the woods. I demand satisfaction. (Yes, I do mean a duel, not the other interpretation of satisfaction)


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Nostalgic said:
I would, wouldn't I. Flying around in my birthday suit, the bowstring taut, the arrow ready to fizz, with the fringe benefit of feeding my voyeuristic, Peeping Tom inclinations under the guise of professionalism.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
Click to expand...

LMAO absolute gold! :)))
 
Nostalgic said:
I take such unfounded comments as a personal affront.

SoPL, meet me in the woods. I demand satisfaction. (Yes, I do mean a duel, not the other interpretation of satisfaction)


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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That would be fun to watch. I just hope it doesn't turn into that fateful scene from the movie "Deliverance"

Btw, not sure which one would be ordering the other to "squeal like a pig"
 
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Nostalgic said:
I take such unfounded comments as a personal affront.

SoPL, meet me in the woods. I demand satisfaction. (Yes, I do mean a duel, not the other interpretation of satisfaction)


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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a Common line in the villages of Pakistan some time ago :)))
 
Mamoon said:
Favorite work by Shakespeare?
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I have read only two of his books: Romeo and Juliet along with King Lear. I read Romeo and Juliet because I had to write a summary on one of his works for a project. I liked it and so I read King Lear. I was hooked to both the books and I liked them.

I have read summaries of many of his works.
 
I love Nostalgic, and that´s official!

That "arrow" reference is brilliant:)))!

Mamoon said:
I am seasoned campaigner, which is why I take on 4/5 people at the same time and win. :afridi

Not going to leave clues over her identity. :jf
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Good, clever boy! And by the way, I am certain that you trust me at least, because your mind has me as an innocent and decent guy.

All the married aunties and uncles that I know on Twitter, I keep requesting them to get their spouse on Twitter as well, just because I want to see a (non-celebrity) married couple tweet each other.


Once we are successful with your story, I can see my Twitter dream coming true. I think that will be fun! I will dedicate a poem to you two, titled 'Two tweeting birds' - such a hidden and deep philosophy it will be.
 
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Haz95 said:
lol have you seen your future husbands acting(along with :irfans) hahaha:))
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Yes, and I don't care. He's an athlete, not an actor. Personally, the dubbing made it even worse.

Everybody was telling Mamoon he's too young to think about marriage at 22, Umar Akmal got married at the same age. :P
 
Nostalgic said:
I would, wouldn't I. Flying around in my birthday suit, the bowstring taut, the arrow ready to fizz, with the fringe benefit of feeding my voyeuristic, Peeping Tom inclinations under the guise of professionalism.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
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Wth is this!!! :)))
 
Completely irrelevant, but I wonder whether Mamoon bhai likes those little cute fights between a girl and a boy, which then leads to a very cute "sorry" and stronger friendship.

Not that I will advise you to go this way, but just wondering whether I am the only person who is so filmy.
 
You are living in Bollywood land man. Snap out of it.
 
Saqs said:
You are living in Bollywood land man. Snap out of it.
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Guilty as charged.

But it´s not strictly limited to watching such stuff. I do it as well. Do you remember my "Mean social experiment" on a female friend of mine?

Just today, there was this song being played on the TV, "It´s easier to pacify God when He is angry than an angered lover" (rough translation), and just as my father and my brother were shaking their heads at how pointless the lyrics are, I said, "Beautifully put!"
 
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Well complexity of getting married is greater for girls as compared to boys,being a girl it always sounds quite a task to me..

Other girls have brought many important points to light..Firstly the girl has to face the crux,when a family comes to see you and then the absurd questioning.I never thought that the traditional aunties do ask what is your weight?how ridiculous!.Then they expect to find a girl like"hoor" and expect her to have unprecedented qualities in her,then many other stages,then the curse of dowry which is a burden on girl's parents.

And 96NotOut the IK's point was superb;-)
 
96NotOut said:
Yes, and I don't care. He's an athlete, not an actor. Personally, the dubbing made it even worse.

Everybody was telling Mamoon he's too young to think about marriage at 22, Umar Akmal got married at the same age. :P
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lol my mum thinks she's gonna get me married at 20-22ish :))
DHONI183 said:
Completely irrelevant, but I wonder whether Mamoon bhai likes those little cute fights between a girl and a boy, which then leads to a very cute "sorry" and stronger friendship.

Not that I will advise you to go this way, but just wondering whether I am the only person who is so filmy.
Click to expand...

If you're a fan of western movies, well I'm not gonna state what this usually leads to :))
 
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DHONI183 said:
Guilty as charged.

But it´s not strictly limited to watching such stuff. I do it as well. Do you remember my "Mean social experiment" on a female friend of mine?

Just today, there was this song being played on the TV, "It´s easier to pacify God when He is angry than an angered lover" (rough translation), and just as my father and my brother were shaking their heads at how pointless the lyrics are, I said, "Beautifully put!"
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This is why I am convinced you are an Indian girl.
 
Okay first of all it was very refreshing to hear the views of the girl posters on here (blinding light, kaayal and 96NotOut apologies if I missed anyone).

My parents too are looking for a suitable girl for me and I must admit the experience has been quite tense. I have seen my sister and brother get married and know quite well of the experiences some of the girls mentioned as my sister has often shared them with me (possibly in a way of how I can right those wrongs when it comes to my turn).

Ideally I would like a love marriage but since there is nobody fitting that category at the moment we are looking for arranged marriage. I just don't understand the obsession with looks to be honest, my mum rejected one girl because she was too tall for me (I am 5'9) and that came as a shock to me. People focus on these small inconsequential details all the time and I hate that.

Arranged marriage structure too is flawed as firstly appearances can be deceiving, secondly there is no character assessment of the bride and groom (they don't talk to each other) till an engagement is finalized. A more effective approach would be for the guy and girl to talk with each other BEFORE and let them see what they have in common and whether they are a good fit for each other.

My dad asked me the other day whether I preferred a working girl or a housewife and whether she should be pretty (does'nt matter, she can be African if she has a nice personality and there is a click) and educated (definitely up to some level).

I said that obviously I would like a girl with ambitions (housewives just remind me of animals in cages) but its better for the first couple of years in a marriage that a girl is stay-at-home kind and then she can build on her career as it is important to develop a bond and understanding initially.

I don't feel nice about my parents rejecting girls (for example one rejected because she gave a wrong age and that can't be trusted, another was from a very rich lifestyle and something not compatible with our upper middle class background). I'm only 26 and feeling is that I'm too old, I think its the perfect age to look for somebody.
 
Sadly these sort of things get looked at in our society and I have pointed out my disgust at them quite evidently in my post. Sometimes I feel we as Pakistanis should just stop thinking of oh what will the society think and more about our own happiness.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
Punisher said:
Sadly these sort of things get looked at in our society and I have pointed out my disgust at them quite evidently in my post. Sometimes I feel we as Pakistanis should just stop thinking of oh what will the society think and more about our own happiness.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
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I guess it is a better idea to inquire about basic things before paying a visit to avoid such incidents which might hurt the girl and her parents.
You could have easily avoided the trouble that both families had to face.
Doing all this drama and then rejecting for some trivial issue like height is beyond comprehension.
One can also have an idea about income level and life style of a family with out visiting one's home.
People should do a little homework before paying the customary visit. This could avoid embarrassment and humiliation for the girl.
 
waqar goraya said:
Junaid Khan is quite popular in girls it seems,
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Why do I have a feeling that you're basing this assumption solely on me and Cricket083?

In my defense, it's easier to like JK because I don't know what his personality's like. In reality, I find it very hard to like someone because I end up hating or disliking their personality more often than not. Or at least I find some flaws that are hard for me to live with.
 
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